The Land of the Family
The scribbling noises made by the quality quill was like music to her ears, every single brush and dip in the inkwell represented progress and Raven loved nothing more than progress… well, almost nothing more, she thought with a little smile on her face.
Of course, right now her amount of work had augmented due to the return of the diarchy, so now she had to do all the paperwork needed, not only to make Princess Luna a legal citizen again of the Kingdom of Equestria, but also to reinstate her to the throne in a smooth transition to the parliament from having one princess at the top to having two now.
Also things like royal alimony, expenses, doctor checks, psychologists and many other things were needed and there was no pony that could deal with that in a better way than Raven according to Princess Celestia; that alone made her feel pride in her work.
With that in mind she went back to the paperwork that for others would seem boring as Tartarus, but Raven found enjoyment in the simplicity and logic of it, sadly her work was interrupted when from the floor a huge pink sphere appeared from a secret compartment and sirens started to blaze accompanied by pink lights.
“Oh no… oh no… she is back…. SHE IS BACK EVERYPONY! PINK ALERT! I REPEAT, PINK ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! MAY FAUST HAVE MERCY UPON OUR SOULS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!” The screams of Raven and the alarms were more than enough to make every single maid and soldier in the castle scream alongside her.
Just a normal day in Canterlot Castle.
06: The Land of the Family
A creaking door at the right hours can do a lot for the imagination, it can create the image of somepony being there when there wasn’t supposed to be somepony there; as patron of the night Princess Luna was more than used to the ideas that brought the night terrors and nightmares, she had to if she wanted to protect ponies from them.
But at 2 PM if the clock in her room was right, the only thing that made the creek of the door do was to make the inhabitants of it focus on her, making Luna feel more than a little awkward.
Fortunately she had the right door this time, only her sister and what appeared to be an aide; the first door she had tried was the guard’s training room, then a meeting room, next a room full with balloons and a bizarre pool full of multicolored balls made of a strangely plush material. It had taken all the Princess-like decorum she had not to jump immediately into it.
But finally, there she was, awake and in the company of her older sister who simply grinned and waved her foreleg around to show how happy she was to see her… at least that’s what it seemed like; so far the white alicorn have showed a bizarre side and mannerisms that have astounded her. Gone was the rigid and almost stoic princess that she remembered, the sister that at all times showed an almost unbreakable mask of royalty and power, never flinching or smiling.
It was hard to really talk with Celestia those last years before her banishment, both of them always busy with one thing or another, always going into discussions and arguing about the minuscule things but at least it seemed that now things would be different… how different exactly? That’s what scared her considering the rambunctious way in which Celestia seemed to behave, but after all, 1000 years are a long time.
“Hey Luna! Good morning! Well, more like good afternoon but the same meaning, well, I think, well, maybe, well, not all the time, Kibitz, does it have the same meaning?” The old pony at her sister’s side slightly rolled his eyes without even losing his composure as if he was already used to the idiosyncrasies happening around him, Luna was almost jealous of his aplomb.
“In this case it is your highnesses; in case our dear monarch of the sun hasn't said a thing, allow me to introduce myself, I am Kibitz, pony in charge of scheduling and all affairs that happen in the castle… and morning clock alarm for the aforementioned monarch.”
“Sadly it doesn’t come with a snooze button.”
“If it existed, then I am sure you will ‘snooze’ as you said, until the next ice age your highness,” he said and Luna had to contain her desire to start giggling at the bantering between her sister and her aid; it was obvious that the two had already perfected their answers like an old show “anyway, I welcome you to Canterlot Castle, if you need any help or have any question pertaining the day to day happening of the castle I’ll be here to answer them,” one thing had to be said, when it came to ponies that seemed to be perfect for the job, Kibitz was the one that took the price.
She was ready to answer when a sudden noise put her ready to defend herself… not that she had much power to do that considering her height and magical reserves. From the ceiling a pink orb descended while alarms resounded on the castle much to her surprise.
“WHAT IS HAPPENING SISTER? ART WE BEING ATTACKED BY THE ENEMIES OF EQUESTRIA?” for some reason, the Royal Canterlot Voice seemed to be strong enough to even dwarf the pink alarm currently issued around the castle, but while Luna was ready to strike down any invader both Celestia and Kibitz were looking at the spectacle outside of the room with a stony expression.
Getting under control at least for now, Luna blinked at the way those two were so calm, maybe Celestia already had a plan and that’s why she didn’t seem worried? It would not be out of the question concerning her.
“No matter how many times I see it… it is still outstanding the ways our little ponies can go completely bunkers in a second… still entertaining though,” she said watching the madness that had arrived at the castle while Luna seemed to be developing a tic on her left eye. Ponies were running on their hind legs and shaking their hooves in the air while screaming like maniacs, a soldier was currently running on the ceiling, another one was shaking a book in his hoof.
“I told you it would happen! I told you it would happen! She foretold it!” he said and Luna had to focus on what the book said.
“The visions of Madame Cloudy Ball?” she said questioning the veracity of such a book.
“She got lucky once when she said that a wild snow storm would appear a couple of centuries ago, and suddenly everybody thought she could see the future, I’m pretty sure she ate mushrooms from the Everfree Forest to get those ‘visions’ of her,” her sister said using her hooves to make quotation marks it seemed.
“You didn’t help making ponies believe that some of those ‘visions’ happened, your highness.”
“You gotta admit the whipped cream dragon was a hilarious sight,” she answered back with an impish grin on her muzzle. While they talked the insanity continued when a guard suddenly ran inside the small office and began to scream while running in circles.
“The memories! They haunt me! I don’t want to go through that experience again! I don’t want to die!” he said before throwing himself through one of the windows making Luna’s jaw hit the floor, mind boggled at what kind of terror this alarm signaled an arrival of, what kind of monster or nightmare could summon this type of mass pandemonium?
“… sometimes I wish they weren’t so skittish about everything, I need to talk with Shining Armor about the current quality of guards, really, doing all this because of her?!” Now Luna was beyond confused and worried, if soldiers couldn’t stop this menace and they were trying to escape their impending doom then that meant that only Celestia and she could do something.
“Soldiers! Do not fret! Do not panic! We are the few and proud! We are guards of Canterlot Castle! We will… OH FAUST SHE IS HERE! AHHH!” And just like that the doors opened up while soldiers were sent flying into the office and once more Luna had no words beyond looking at what… or who was now standing with such an impossibly huge grin on her face. None other than an impressively pink alicorn that was now running in the same place as if she had way too much energy and couldn’t contain herself.
This?
This was the great impending doom? A pink alicorn? A PINK ALICORN!?
“Hey Cadence,” Her sister said, obviously not even worried at what was going on.
“WHEREISSHEWHEREISSHEWHEREISSHEWHEREISSHEWHEREISSHE?” The pink pony constantly said while the white alicorn pointed with one of her hooves at the dark blue princess before she was tackled by a pink bulldozer “IS YOU! Oh, how I have been waiting for this moment! I have a new aunty! I have a new aunty!” Luna was sure it was still day, so why then could she see the stars dancing in front of her eyes at the moment?
“Cadence, you won’t have a new aunty for long if you don’t let her breathe,” she heard her sister talk and suddenly the pressure evaporated and Luna took a much needed breath of air.
“Sorry, it was just that I am so excited! Oh, look at you! Aunty Luna, you look so adorable!” The pink pony seemed to be having fun at her expense but the world still seemed to be moving in circles around her so there wasn’t much that could be done.
“Help,” was the only word that Luna could say in this dangerous situation.
---
Fortunately order had been restored, or at least as much as it could considering the terror that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza had unleashed into the dwellers of Canterlot Castle without noticing.
“Do you feel better now Luna?” Celestia asked to a still scowling alicorn while they all enjoyed a late breakfast/early lunch while a red faced Cadence was giving her all attention to her own cup of tea.
“We still feel as if our moon had decided to roll over us several times, but beyond that we are fine,” she said in the most deadpan voice she could muster, making Cadence get redder if that was possible.
“I’m so sorry aunty; I do tend to get excited about things, so knowing that I had an extra aunt now really made me go full power on this.”
“Again with that word, Aunt. Dear sister, have thou been courting stallions to create a strong bloodline?” It was a good thing Celly hasn’t started drinking tea, because she would have spit it out like a cannon due to those words.
“Cadence is not of our direct blood, she was chosen by Equestria to be a new alicorn and after that I decided to adopt her as my niece so she will be part of the royal family… and no… no stallion has ever been in the royal quarters in that way Luna, don’t start fantasizing.”
“Wait, what? Fantasizing? Sister! We would never do something as low as that!” the answer she got were polite chuckles from the other alicorns “oh… was that perhaps a joke? It seems that we have some difficulty understanding the art of smiles of this time.”
“Well, you are now free aunty,” again with that word, maybe one day she will get used to that sound “you have a whole new world to discover, new places, new magic, new friends! Imagine all the ponies you will get to meet!” It was obvious that Cadence was a very excitable pony, her energy made Luna almost forget that she was supposed to be angry at the youngest Alicorn, but it was hard, oh so hard to not smile in the presence of so much sugar.
“If only that would be so easy, we fear that the current generation will receive us in the same way as a millennium ago, especially considering our past deeds as Nightmare Moon.”
“Past deeds? What are you talking about? Everypony knows that you let yourself be possessed so the elements of harmony could affect the Nightmare, you are still a hero to this day,” Celestia’s smile grew more as Luna’s eyebrows reached height enough to be comical.
“What kind of story, pray tell, are thou saying? Yes, we were corrupted by the Nightmare, but hailed as a hero and not the villain? What is the madness our niece is spouting about sister?”
“Is like Cadence says, let’s just say that being the only living pony in the world that saw the event did some things to paint her sister in a more benevolent role… the world has been waiting for a thousand years to celebrate the return of one of their most written about heroines,” Celly had been waiting for close to 250 years since she started to change the story, the payoff seemed to be more than worth the time. One of the many things she had done was trying to change the public opinion of her sister. Like hell Luna had to come back to a world that only thought of her as a villain, that’s why she had spent so much time and different plans to change that and it seemed that it had worked.
“Sis… sister… did thou were the architect of all that… for me?”
“Of that and a hundred more little sister, never doubt that,” Celly said while hugging her sister while Cadence smiled at the scene in front of her, love in all forms had to be cherished and nothing made her happier than occasions like this.
“So, we have the whole family together… or almost,” Cadence said remembering a certain red and gold colored unicorn so far away but quickly dispelled her worries, Sunset was a resourceful girl, Cadence was sure she was okay “what do you say we celebrate this occasion?”
“Celebrate? Again? But what about thou work? How can Equestria work without their leaders?”
“Luna… this week was declared national holidays to celebrate your return, there is not many things to do and most of them can be done by the congress, that’s why they exist, so don’t worry, we can finally spend time together and I can tell you what happened while you were… indisposed… yeah, let’s go with that.”
“Are thou sure sister? Well… I suppose it will be alright then” Cadence seemed to be almost literally shaking with excitement and the three quickly finished their own meals and got ready to walk around in peace… or the closest to it “Although… we still do have a question pertaining to our niece.”
“Yes Luna?”
“Why did the whole castle panic at her arrival? Sure, her strength is comparable to old warriors of the Coliseum, but why so much fear?” she asked seriously confused about it while Celly and Cadence simply turned to each other with identical grins.
“Well, let’s just say that most workers here have not forgotten last Hearts and Hooves day.”
“Oh so many new pairings created! So much love shared! So many chocolates and candies… I swear I don’t remember half of that day due to so much sugar,” Cadence said still with foggy memories of that debacle.
“We… see, that does explain much, but why does everypony start acting as if the sun and the moon themselves would disappear from the horizon?”
“Weelllll… you see, me and Cadence enjoy a little bit of fun and craziness.”
“And we tend to do a little bit of insanity,” Cadence said and the next moment the music started to sound, the classical musical moment had started in Equestria once more.
We’re cutey, we’re toony
We’re both a little loony
Both started to sing in a duet, each of them being at her sides.
And just for our Moony
We make dreams reality!
Both took her and put her on a chair while they continued singing.
With comic dispenser
We crack up all the haters
Cadence put a weird book full of images on Luna's hooves showing two stylized versions of both Cadence and Celly in a stage with fireworks and dancers; meanwhile Celly threw out of the window a sign of forbidden.
On alicorn adventures
Get a dose of comedy
And here is the castle
It’s a whole wide world apart
Our home sweet home, it stands alone
A modern work of art
Celly pulled down a map showing how big Equestria right now was, before pulling another one showing their current home, Canterlot castle while a strangely cheery sun, with a big smile and eyes nonetheless, was on the sky in the photo.
The scripts were rejected
Expect the unexpected
Luna jumped in surprise when a pink pony appeared from inside a bowl full of cookies without explanation just to sing that last line.
On alicorn adventures
It’s about to start
To say that the situation had turned into the surreal was saying the obvious for the completely overwhelmed alicorn, but the tune was catchy and upbeat and she found herself moving her head with the rhythm and smiling without even noticing.
We’re furry, we’re funny
We are Caddy and Celly Looney
Both her sister and her niece presented themselves again with the addition of big signs with their names on them above them.
Kibitz has a schedule fully
The old unicorn didn’t even blink when he was introduced; he just adjusted his small glasses and continued his work.
And Raven is a perv
Cadence pulled from somewhere a full mirror that showed Raven looking at the destruction of Cadence’s path not too long ago while ponies were fixing it, as if she had heard them she turned into the mirror’s view.
“Wait... what?!”
With Rarity and AJ
Rainbow’s a little lazy
Spike is unlucky
And Pinkie’s quite insane
At each name the respective pony and dragon was shown, Applejack working, Rarity looking at a mirror, Rainbow Dash sleeping on a cloud and Spike the dragon falling down from a ladder after trying to put a book. Finally Pinkie appeared alongside Celly and Cadence at the side of the mirror wearing goofy glasses with spirals in them and a party horn in her mouth.
We’re cutey, we’re toony
We’re both a little loony
Is Alicorn’s Adventures
Come and join the fun.
And now our song is done.
“Yay! Encore, encore!” the pink pony with the puffed up mane said jumping up and down.
“Hi Pinkie, sorry but it was fun to do it once, doing it again so soon makes it less funny,” Celly answered back as if Pinkie appeared from an impossible location was a daily occurrence, after seeing everything that had transpired maybe that was the case.
“Who is your friend aunty?”
“Cadence, let me present to you the current holder of the element of laughter, Pinkamina Diane Pie.”
“But all my friends call me Pinkie, so, are you an alicorn too? Oh my Celestia, we are both pink! Are we family? I mean, none of my sisters are pink but it is so cool to meet another pink pony,” Cadence let the hyperactive pony keep talking with an amused smile in her face, once again the perfect image of royalty.
“You okay Luna?” turning to see her sister Luna was finally capable of relaxing after so many surprises together.
“We… do believe so sister… is every day as crazy as this one?”
“Not really… sometimes is worse,” Celly said to her in a whisper as if it was a big secret making Luna giggle at her big sister's antics, feeling a warm fire in her chest, something that she hadn’t felt in such a long time, happiness.
“Hey, I got an idea, why don’t you go to Ponyville? That way I can introduce you to all my friends! Well, that kind of already happened with last night’s party”
“Wait, isn’t Ponyville where Twilight lives now?”
“Yes”
“Can we go aunty? Please? I want to see her after so long,” Cadence’s patented puppy dog eyes were too much for the diarchy of Equestria and with their destination chosen the four were soon traveling in the direction of the small town.
“Sister… we still do have a question”
“Yes Luna?”
“How did the pink one appear on the bowl of cookies? Is not she an earth pony?”
“Luna, one thing I understood pretty fast, and now I give you this piece of knowledge, never, ever try to understand a Pie, it is impossible.”
“We are clear on that sister.”
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Ah tiny toons. Good times. Good times.
Loved this!
Good job dude...
Right in the nostalgia...
This is the most nostalgic thing I've seen in weeks (at least). I think I might love you (no hom- you know what? All the homo).
Tiny toons?
I like this person more, this is what celestia SHOULD have done, Luna isn't wrongly painted as a villan,
*This was the great impending doom? A pink alicorn? A PINK ALICORN!?* Did the Fake Sun turn Cadence into Alicorn Pinkie Pie of love?
5809180
Exactly, now Luna will have no problem with socialisation. Another body-swap Hie, where human have more competence than original posseser of body. Shame on you Celestia.
Yes... I love your take on the pro-Luna machinations of this Celestia. Subtly changing the legends to portray Luna as a sacrificial hero... Kudos!
5809614
I absolutely love it.
I mean really, atleast do hera favor and make it known (bbefore her return) that it is just an untrue holiday to scare people...jeez, she don't deserve to come back to that.
NICE
Animaniacs?
Always love to see this story updating. I do notice that um, this... particular chapter has a lot more errors than the others so I'm going to hazard a guess that it's either yet to be edited, or your editor played an april fool's joke.
...
Or possibly the site. Goodness knows last year they replaced all mentions of ponies with their G1 counterpart.
The last chapter had a Faust cliffhanger and then you put this in! I know that this chapter had to be done, but cliffhanger! Me needs Fausticorn!
Obligatory:
You made my day with that hit to my nostalgia. And yes, the guards need a LOT of training.
5810229 Not quite man, read it with this video playing
I'm really curious about this AU Sunset Shimmer. With this "Celestia" as mentor, she could very decent mare.
5844274 You are the first one to see that reference.
Loved it... Great chapter.
So I get this far in and I really notice the trend in word choice and I am thinking that I know what is up. Either you don't have an editor to check your work and thus this is the raw draft, which I must say is still very good, or alternatively English is not your first language and you occasionally miss words in your writing or overuse pronouns in a way that leads to confusion when spoken in English. If it's neither of those then please forgive me for insulting you if you feel at all insulted. ^////^;
5863869
I can't be insulted if it is the truth, after all, English is my second language so I have a lot of mistakes when I write the story, it doesn't help that I usually write it in the night.
5870708 Well, for a second language english speaker you certainly do a good job. Aside from the occasional improper word and overuse of pronouns you write like a native.
5849367 LOL!
I enjoy it. I can not wait for the next chapter
...
Nobody can truly figure out Pi(e)... I don't know how many years it has been and I didn't figure that one out until now.
WHY DOES THE SONG NOT MENTION FLUTTERSHY OR TWILIGHT?!?!?!?
5887927
Because I couldn't fit them in that part, also, it wasn't Spike but twilight the 'unlucky' one, but in the first episodes the fate's chewtoy is Spike.
I must admit, it was a good ride so far until the song happened. A lax, rolls with the punches Celestia, I can deal with. Celestia belting out show tunes ontop a dinner table, my disbelief has plummeted to bedrock. There is artistic liscence and there's crack OOCness.
5902566
I think you forgot a very important thing about the story and about this Celestia.
It is NOT Celestia, it is a human that for the last 300 years has been inhabiting her body, so of course there is a lot of weird things Celly does. Is crazy, is zanny but there's a lot inside Celly than a mere buffon, that's why there is the comedy and the human tag in the story.
quickmeme.com/img/75/7553f320e5ddae903c49ca15ebc2515ff90ccfa8336d6743474493cbe7182065.jpg
Discord would probably love the new Celly if he wasn't a self absorbed jerk at this time.
When I read it, it seemed to me that Cadence is Pinkie Pie. But it chapter killed me!
Yeah, the panic stampede is a classic.
Amen to that, amen to that.
I feel like I've taken a rocket rollercoaster with the Genie from Alladin by my side while a crazy Disney song plays. I AM EXCITE
I've noticed you use "worst" rather than "worse". Worse is a comparison, like better, while worst is the complete bottom of the barrel, being the counterpart to best.
Tiny toons the good ol days
8328302
your pic is so perfect for this chapter
I think the 4th wall cracked slightly -- or perhaps they did. That was amusing, especially the line about poor Raven.
Okay, I approve Looney Tunes alicorn shenanigans. That's one of some good things you could've brought over, that's for sure... :D
11018194
Actually that was the tiny toons adventures intro although now felly has to do the animaniacs intro.
That's right! You can never fully calculate a Pi!
So it's not limited to Pinkie... Interesting.
Other than the problem of it not always being clear who is talking, this has been really good!