The man stared at the door, a light mist lazily flowing out from its edges, outlining it in a foreboding shadow despite the bright light bulb hanging a mere foot away. Doors should not leak mist, that much the man knew for certain. There should be a certain order to things and in that order 'doors do not leak mist' was right up there next to rules such as: 'dictionaries do not race' and 'chickens do not ride scooters', it was simply the natural way of things. This would be the third one, the third room of his that the universe saw fit to replace with some cruel mockery of a room with a similar purpose. This room, however, was by far the most insulting to take; this room was his. The man took a deep breath and reached for the handle, he already knew that whatever lay beyond the door was no longer the room it had originally been; he knew that the room was no longer his bedroom.
The pegasus was speeding downwards, a rainbow trailing behind her. She narrowed her eyes, focusing on the small black cloud that was her target, just a little bit faster and.. She broke hard stopping just above the cloud, the force of her sudden stop dispersed the cloud below her with a small crackle of electricity, she had been unable to get enough speed in time. The cyan mare floated in place and observed the cleared sky around her, that had been the last of the eight storm clouds she prepared and she hadn't gotten it right once.
The pegasus let out a sigh of frustration as she flew quickly to a large structure of clouds which hung lazily in the sky, her home. Entering through the window, it's so much faster than using the door, she landed lightly on the floor with a plan to take a nice nap then to put in a requisition for more storm clouds or else she'd have to hoof make them herself. With a stretch and a large yawn the pegasus moved towards her bed. Her eyes shot wide open, that wasn't her bed! Quickly looking around herself she made a discovery, it wasn't even her room!
The man frowned deeply at the interior of the room, clearly the universe had decided to just laugh in his face now. The room was completely full of mist. Slowly stepping in, the man amended his thoughts on the room, it wasn't full of mist, it was made of mist; the walls, the floor, the ceiling, all of it was composed of the stuff but none of it was free floating out in the air. Curiously the man poked a finger into the nearest wall. Surprisingly it gave him a bit of resistance before his finger could go through, and even more surprisingly it maintained its basic shape as he twirled his finger. Clearly this was not mist; it was clouds, an absurdly cartoonistic representation of clouds, but clouds nonetheless. With great care the man stepped onto the floor of clouds, it held his weight. He let out a breath of relief and promptly set his sights on the nearest dresser, time to find out about who this room belonged to.
It was an awesome prank, that much the pegasus had to acknowledge, but how the hay did they do it? She flew out the window and around her home for the third time, there was no sign of any cloud movement or removal, they had perfectly replaced an entire room of her home with another without disturbing a single thing, and they had done so with what was clearly an earth pony or unicorn room no less. It couldn't have been done by a single pegasus, no pony would be strong enough to lift an entire room alone.. well maybe that one muscled pony might be but with his wings the chances were slim; a unicorn had to be involved as well, only magic could make normal material stay on the clouds without falling to the ground below.
The pegasus ran a hoof over the red carpet covering the floor of the room. She knew how much it would have taken to pull this prank off, but who would have gone through so much effort to prank her? Maybe she should go ask her friends if they had any ideas on the matter. Wait! What if it was her friends that did it? Going to them for help would be just what they expect, but.. what if they knew she would think that and were expecting her to not go to them... All this thinking was starting to make the area between the pegasus' ears itch. Maybe a nap would help her decide how to handle this; besides, that new bed looked kinda comfy.
The man was deeply confused. He had looked through the first drawer of the dresser, it was all socks. That wasn't too confusing as he also had a drawer dedicated solely to socks, not that it told him anything about who this room belonged to. The second drawer, however, was the thing confusing him; it had saddles inside it. The man stared at the saddles, something about them seemed.. off. For some strange reason it made him feel dirty, as though he were looking into the underwear drawer of a woman, but he had no idea why that strange feeling would present itself to him. He closed the drawer roughly, he had no desire to investigate such an odd feeling further.
He pulled open the bottom drawer, it was full of books and magazines. Oddly enough each of them seemed to primarily feature small horses. Curiously the man pulled out a few to get a better look at the covers, Wonderbolts Insider: An Exclusive Interview With Captain Spitfire, Daring Do Runs Out of Things to Daringly Do, Stallions and Saddles: Illustrated Edition. The man opened the last book to a random page, it was an illustration, almost immediately the man threw the book, along with the others, back into the drawer and kicked it shut. He would burn the lot of them, but he dared not risk releasing something like that into the atmosphere; perhaps later he would seek out a monk to seal the evil things away.
With the sound one makes when they've seen something so disturbing they no longer wish to be conscious, the man turned towards the unfamiliar bed. Perhaps it would be as comfortable as it looks.
The pegasus stared at the small box. She had meant to go straight to the bed, but the soft glow of a red light had caught her attention. The source of the glow was what she was now staring at, a small black box with red numbers illuminating its front. The flight capable pony remained focused intently on the numbers, perhaps they were a clue to who pulled this prank on her; one of the numbers changed. Carefully the pegasus lifted the box up between her hooves, was it some kind of countdown, no the number went up, maybe it was keeping track of something, but what? Then it hit her, it was the time! This box was a clock! It was amazing, instead of having legs like most clock faces it just showed what time it was with magic glowing numbers, it was so simple and easy! Why hadn't any eggheads thought of something like that before, it was such an awesome way to tell time; well, not as awesome as she was, but still pretty cool.
Upon setting the clock back down where she had picked it up from, the pegasus spotted some kind of writing on the top of it. 'Snooze', now that sounded like a plan! Patting the word the winged pony faced the bed and flung herself upon it. Immediately she released a cry of surprise as she sank into the bed, its surface undulating around her. The struggling pegasus flared her wings and launched herself from the bed, hovering above it to scowl at its slightly gelatinous form. The bed jiggled in protest of the unwarranted scowl.
Not one to ever be bested, especially by a bed, the pegasus slowly lowered herself back onto the surface of the bed, standing unsteadily on the rippling mattress. Now for the most important part, ever so gently the pegasus lowered herself down into a comfortable sleeping position. Much to her surprise the bed was actually quite relaxing, unusual, but relaxing. With a sigh the pegasus quickly fell asleep.
The man snored loudly; the bed was amazing. It was plush, conformed perfectly to his form without being too soft, and it didn't have the risk of leaking. Of course the bed made of cloud would continue to do this until someone pointed out to the man that it was impossible for him to sleep on a cloud, at which point the law of knowledge would take over and the man would feel just how comfortable the floor is in comparison. For now, however, the man would get to enjoy his peaceful rest.
The pegasus stood proudly, her wings folded neatly at her sides. There was some kind of light music in the background, but she paid it no mind. She had performed flawlessly during her audition and this moment was the one she had waited for all her life, this was the moment she was going to be accepted into the ranks of the best fliers in the world. The music seemed to be getting louder and muffled words floated through the air. It took all her willpower to keep her wings from flaring out as the captain of the team trotted towards her, her orange mane contrasting perfectly with the team's signature blue flight suits. The pegasus could barely contain herself as the captain stopped to speak, these were the words she had waited so long to hear.
Take me home tonight!
Wait, what?
I don't want to let you till you see the light!
The captain and the team had begun to bob to the beat of the music, singing loudly. This wasn't how it was suppose to happen, or was it? Truthfully the pegasus didn't know if it was customary to induct new members this way, hopefully it was and this wasn't just some prank.
Take me home tonight!
The pegasus woke up with a slight jump. It was only a dream, crud. The pegasus yawned and started to stretch when she noticed it.. there was still music and some kind of singing.
Be my little baby?
The sound.. was coming from the clock? Was the clock singing? The pegasus focused a little more on the words..
I hate to sleep alone I need some company.
Was the clock hitting on her? With a slight amount of effort she lifted herself off the bed, she would face this issue head on.
Her plan of action was simple, she would just inform the clock she wasn't really into appliances and let it down as gently as she could, then everything could just be business from then on; it would tell her the time and she would read it.
BRRT! BRRT! BRRT! BRRT! BRRT!
Apparently the clock was incapable of handling rejection like a stallion. The pegasus hovered with her ears flattened, hooves pressed firmly against them, pleading for the clock to see reason and stop crying. With an groan of exasperation the pegasus dropped heavily to the floor. The entire room began shaking.
The pegasus quickly made herself airborne once more and began scanning the area, creaks and groans began sounding out from the walls as the shaking increased. Purely on instinct the pegasus scooped the clock up with a hoof and held it against her coat as she shot out the window.
Once she was a good distance from her home the pegasus turned in the air just in time to catch sight of a large square of wood fall from the bottom of her cloud house and smash violently into the ground below. It was a good thing she wasn't still in it. She looked down at the clock she was carrying to see if it had a similar opinion on the matter. The clock's face was blank, it's tail hanging lifelessly, the pegasus lifted it to her ears to listen for any clock-like noises, such as ticking. There were none. The clock had died in her hooves.. Meh, it was just a clock. Unceremoniously the pegasus chucked the clock over her shoulder, causing it to shatter on the ground below just as violently as the room had, and proceeded to fly back towards her home. She had rebuilding to get started on.
The man let out a very content snore; the bed he rested upon was, in his mind, the best bed that could ever grace the world with its presence.
THIS UPDATED.
Awesome!
For some reason i can't wait until you do 'This isn't my basement'. Will you choose Twilight's basement filled with scientific equipment and extra books? or Pinkies with party supplies and/or a 'cupcakes' torture reference? Or perhaps Applejack's (maybe find a homebrew cider setup down there so the man can get hammered?)
The man who has suffered the loss of coffee and the destruction of his bathroom now has a cloud bed.
Score!
Do closets count as a room?
Cause Rarity's closet and his, switching would be interesting.
Or maybe his laundry room.
Or Applejack's Barn with his Garage.
680301
One of those guesses matches with the outlines I have planned, not saying which one, just saying, "STOP BEING SO GOOD AT THIS SANDMAN!"
His pet and Angel bunny gets swapped, Angel bunny and the human gets into a fist fight. Angel bunny wins, steals his loafers as a trophy, and returns home triumphant.
Oh God. He teleported back to Equestria with the bed, didn't he?
...
DIS GON BE GUUD! :D
680334
Nah, he didn't. Once a room has jumped the ship it stays jumped, unless Twilight throws out a violently magical life saver.
680305
i1268.photobucket.com/albums/jj580/charlieg1999/133408912496.gif
680340
... Is the man and one of the mares going to swap places, by being in the respective swapped rooms?
680352
Don't have plan for any such shenanigans since that kind of thing would take much longer than the short one shot chapters I'm going for would allow.
680369
Tell me that you'll at least consider giving Rarity his closet? And make your man look like a fairy by giving him nothing but Rarity's dresses?
680305
NEVER!
I SHALL TORMENT YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME WITH MY FUTURE KNOWLEDGE.
Or at least until the end of this story.
You know, whichever comes first.
Now what other switches are you planning.
*tries to read your mind*
680385 680386
YOU SHALL KNOW NOTHING MORE!
680398 ho my
680386
680397
I'll be watching.
"There should be a certain order..."
"The room was completely full of mist."
"He had looked through the first drawer of the dresser,..."
"...where she had picked it up from, the pegasus..." (Missed a comma)
Just read all three chapters. You have no idea how much I approve of this! .....I'll give you a hint: It's pretty much equivalent to the amount of energy required to explode, have the exploded object rebuilt, then exploded a second time. (In other words, inconceivably huge!)
That was great! He should really swap living rooms with Fluttershy sometime!
680445
You're now on the list next to Sandman.
Thumb up and favorited for magic super bacon
I MUST FIND SOME
First this man swapped BATHROOMS with Twilight and the unicorn mare struggled to perform even the simplest of tasks while the man just went about his bussiness.
Next he swapped KITCHENS with Pinkie Pie and the pink party pony defiled the place with a caffinee induced sugar buzz while the man had a somewhat pleasnant meal.
And now he's swapped BEDROOMS with Rainbow Dash and the cyan pegasus smashed the digital clock, while the man managed to enjoy some sleep.
Next up will probably be Applejack or Rarity, or possibly even Fluttershy, can't wait to see what room the man will swap next.
"Chickens do not ride scooters" I caught that...
Finally, the man wins for once!
The funny thing is I can totally see the look on Rainbow Dash's face at "The clock had died in her hooves.. Meh, it was just a clock."
Wouldn't this guy have lost all of his clothes with his room, though? I mean, this seems to be the first one that's been permanently switched. Although I guess compared to the cost of now replacing the room...
Thank Celestia this story is incomplete!
*Rated, Faved, Email updates please*
Now, this is going to be AWESOME!
Somepony is bound to find the wreckage of the bedroom below Dash's house, and the remains will leave them confused, especially the complete wardrobe of a disfigured midget minotaur.
I like that this is sort of a human in Equestria story, except no one meet, and they are all most interested in just getting underway with the practical side of their lives. I hope the process and reason between the swaps is never revealed; it would add nothing, detract a lots.
>dictionaries do not race
>chickens do not ride scooters
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png
680301 He also has stallion porn dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Mr_Cake.png
680938 lolololololololololollololoolo
681072 skype-emoticons.com/images/emoticon-00125-mmm.gif
681975
I apologize
It seems like you're focusing on the mane 6, but I'm still gonna' be hoping for his car to swap with Luna's awesome chariot. I don't know what the man would do with a chariot, I just wanna' see Luna investigating a modern car. I could see her messing with the dials on the dashboard, unknowingly maxing the volume on the radio, then turning the radio on to some ear-shatteringly loud death metal or something. She'd totally have a knee-jerk reaction to instantly put on the Royal Canterlot Voice and start yelling back at it at full volume.
Stallions and Saddles? Treg, I see what you did there. Referencing Stone Turner. And now my mention of it will cause these others to check it out. Which means more likes on that hilarious story. You knew I was going to point it out too. So because you knew, you said it.
Treg, you evil mastermind you.
682146
.....WHHHHAAAAAATTTTT?
682214 Yes. I can see your plans Treg. I can....
Read your mind.
Rainbow Dash x Alarm Clock = OTP.
Treg388, I am very pleased with the series so far, but it would be absolutely awesome if you did in fact turn this story into an HiE. Seriously, there is so much potential here.
The man could get teleported to Equestria by staying in Rainbow's bed.
Celestia might call on him to help with the random, dangerous room swapping between the realms.
Discord's statue could be replaced by a cardboard cut-out of the Budweiser girls, and the mane six need to travel to Earth to retrieve it through his dishwasher or something.
I understand that you don't intend to have your story head in this direction, but could you maybe make a side story where this kind of thing happens? That would kick so much ass.
This is genius, pure and simple.
684559
She gets to be able to handle meat cause she is cartoon and your laws of reality can go fly away.
682146 I believe my brother has just played you like a fiddle Which is ironic seeing is that's the very tool The most people required to defeat him and gain back there mortals souls
Now this... THIS IS FUNNY! GIVE ME MORE! NOW! GODSPEED AND GOODLUCK!
684953
Horses eat small animals sometimes.
If you're going to eat a small animal, it may as well be bacon. Bacon is the best small animal you can possibly eat. It is proven by science. BACON science.
Also I am faving this story and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
This is one of the most awesome fanfics I've ever read.
The epic-narration style, the humor...
Simply glorious.
698278
Thank you very much.
This has got to be my favorite one-shot story I have ever read, but now it's a collection? AWESOME!
"Was the clock hitting on her?" Favorite line.
Let's see, Living Room.
have been done.
Can't do it. The animals would be a problem.
vs , whose will it be?
Also, a good series.
Wait... How did the clock have any electricity in the first place?
698606
Cartoon logic, it was plugged into the wall and it served the plot better to have it electrified rather than not.
How about "This isn't my shed!"
699229
Equines can eat meat like we can eat plants. Neither of us process the base substance into nutrition, but it just passes through our system harmlessly.
Besides, FiM ponies eat eggs so they are actually omnivorous, not herbivorous, just with an ungulate like ability to digest cellulose.
The main reason they are vegetarian is because they 1: can digest plant cellulose and therefor have no need to, 2: Most animals are much more intelligent than terrestrial ones.
For some reason, the fact that it was an Eddie Money song that woke up Rainbow Dash made me laugh harder than anything else.
Too many memories of my old job routine, I suppose.