Chapter 31
Equestria
Ponyville
Town Hall
Mayors office
10:13am
Mayor Mare reclined behind her old Apple wood desk while looking over some papers sent from Canterlot. The room was fairly ordinate compared to the rest of the town with a number of gold framed portraits of her predecessors. All bearing the Mare name, all the way back to her great grandmother who was chosen as a representative of the crown. The title of mayor passed down her family to her, sadly she never inherited the natural grey mane, her sister did however... She shook her head looking at the small family portrait on her desk, her mother smiling softly with her long grey mane covering one of her eyes and some of her light grey coat, her fathers distant expression with his black and grey streaked mane slicked back, his squared jaw with a slight frown with a muted muddy coat, and finally her sister. Inheriting the family grey mane, the grey coat with a few soft muted brown spots, and those eyes that seem so expressive even in the old family portrait.
"Mayor Mare! We have a situation!" Red Tape ran into the room tripping on the crimson gold stitched rug into a heap before her with a newpaper in his jaw. He shakily stood up and spat it out onto her desk.
"What?.... Are the Cutie Mark Crusaders printing gossip again?" She sighs picking it up before her face pales. "Is this a joke?...... Please tell me this is some kind of cruel joke...." She looked at the headline Beloved Flower Mare Beaten and Arrested. It was a simple headline but what stood out? A picture of Lily locked in a chair with Rondels in mid swing. It was obvious what was happening with the mares beaten face. "H-how?..... She was in a locked basement in our guard post! How did a picture like this get out?! And who authorized this?!" Her eye twitches.
"W-well I don't have a cutie mark in photography..." The stink eye he was getting from the mayor only made him shake more. "B-but judging from the odd a-angle I would say it was taken from one of the basement windows!" He says while the mayor just sits there quietly.
"Can we stop this from reaching the townsponies?...." She asked already knowing the answer. While she started read over the article that quickly became a slam piece.
"It's already been sold out in the market...." He says looking down at the rug getting ready to have it.
"And why was this allowed?... We have laws against defamatory speech against representatives of the crown!" She crumples up the paper and throws it down on the ground.
"T-the Foal Free Press set up in the market..... The minute the foal opened his lips he had a mob of ponies trying to get a paper! And the laws don't apply to school run papers only privately owned ones!" He says while the mayor just sits quietly.
"Get Hard Law in my office and.....Get out.......Now...." She says evenly while the stallion scrambles out slamming the door behind him.
Equestria
Ponyville
Sweet Apple Acres
The Stills
11:51am
Big Mac rested on is wooden stool while flipping through the paper with an uncharacteristic grin on his face. But sadly it wasn't to last when he heard the knocking from the trap door. He slowly stood up and grabbed his gun before pulling the rope near his stool that unlocked the door.
He continued to hold his gun till he saw his sisters hooves trotting down the steps. "Mac do y'all know anything bout this?" She asked as she showed him the latest Foal Free Press her voice a bit muffled from holding it. She dropped it on one of the crates looking at him while she rested on a wobbly legged chair.
He just nodded his head. "Eeyup..... Turns out Filthy had some dirt on Mayor Mare. The Foal Free press did the rest. Turns out our beloved Mayor has more then a few secrets. Ever wonder why she always needs your winnings to repair town hall?" He asks while leaning on the back wall on his stool.
Applejack seemed to rest her hoof on her chin in deep thought before nodding her head. "Ya... I always wondered we she needs my winins to repair dat place ain't that why we pay taxes?" She asks.
Big Mac just let out a snort. "Page 2, 1st paragraph...." He says while Applejack tilts her head and fills the paper to the second page and started reading.
"She's been stealen ta line her pockets!? Dats dishonest! Ain't that against the law?!" She seemed offended while Mac just continued to stifle snorts of laughter about how hypocritical it sounded letting his sister catch on and shake her head. "Y'all know what I mean..."
"Yep I always wonder how she afforded dat fancy office and house by the river. She ain't the first either all way back ta her Granny." He says while pulling out a jug of fresh hard cider to share. "Ain't the only thing neither keep readin." He takes a long sip before passing it over to his sister while she read.
Equestria
Ponyville
Schoolhouse
12:27pm
Featherweight smiles as he leans to back of his desk after finishing lunch. He soaked up the attention he was getting from all the other fillies and colts around him. Countless questions were asked but he just continued to lean back resting before opening his eyes.
"You all really wanna know how I got the scoop of the century?" He asked proudly while the countless foals leaned forward. He was about to answer before the former Cutie Mark Crusaders pushed their way to the front of his desk.
"What the hay are y'all doin?!" Apple Bloom stood up on her back hoofs resting her forehooves on his desk. "Didn't we learn a lesson bout gossip already?!"
Featherweight just give them a slight tilt of the head and an amused expression. "Gossip is just spilling the beans of a few silly secrets, news is finding things that matter, you think anyone cares about Rarity's self created drama? Or Big Mac playing with a doll? Or-or Rainbow spending all of a few seconds at the spa? No gossip is just something that grabs attention and then is forgotten."
Sweetie Belle pushes Apple Bloom out of the way. "But your ruining someone's life! Isn't that what we did when we were printing stories about ponies secrets?" Sweetie says while she watched Featherweight snicker.
"Tell me..... Besides of embarrassment and a few hurt feelings what story lasted more then a week?" He asked while Sweetie seemed ready to answer before pausing and entering deep thought.
"But doesn't that make it worse then? Your story is ruining a ponies life... She's an official appointed by the crown.... Aren't we supposed to respect and trust her?..." Sweetie says looking confused and worried.
"I'm ruining the life of a corrupt crown appointed Mayor. Tell me have you even read the newspaper? Or did you just read the headline and summery at the top?" He asks while giving them a thoughtful look.
The three fillies just stood there before Scootaloo decided to make herself heard. "I did and I liked it... I mean sure Mayor Mare is under fire, but didn't she bring it into herself for stealing bits out of the Ponyville treasury and cooking the ledgers while the whole town is busy doing Winter Wrap Up? Or what about how she has been diverting funds from the schoolhouse to fund the expansion of her office? Or even how she has been ignoring requests to have town meetings and rejecting permits for protests?" As she spoke her other two friends looked at her like she was a changeling. "What? Just because I like doing tricks on my scooter and doing stunts means I don't read?" She looks at them like there crazy.
"Besides to answer Sweeties question the school paper is not recognized as a private paper since its technically an after school activity. So it's a government paper in all but name but has no oversight." He says while the three fillies seem to think.
"...what does Cheerilee think of all of this?..." Apple Bloom asked sighing seeing she was beat.
"She's one of our biggest supporters! She's going to be leading the marches through town! Shady is already planing out the photo ops as we speak!" Featherweight says proudly.
Equestria
Ponyville
Barnyard Bargains
2:17pm
Filthy rested in the office while he waited for the Britanians and zebra to finish setting up the simple recording studio in the back of his store. After hearing about young Sweetie Belles talk with Anthony Moore, a representative of the "Tesla & Marconi Company" about recording some of her songs for the new radio stations south of the boarder. Seeing the opportunity he sprang into action offering the young filly a contract with his business, times were changing and the best way to stay ahead was to invest in new forms of business. Radio was steadily becoming more and more common in Equestria and what he saw was a new medium to advertise! Maybe even expand into at some point once the technology finally made its way into Equestria after changing from the Britannians, the zebra, and finally into the hooves of his fellow ponies. Even his associates were getting on board trying to come up with catchy jingles for their... Official businesses. After all it only made sense now they had to launder the money somehow to avoid too much suspicion. While he imagined the new found bits from his investment dancing in his head it was stopped after his eyes wondered to a family portrait of him, his little Diamond, and his... Soon to be Ex wife Spoiled.
As he gazed into the frame on his old dark cherry desk he couldn't help but taste the bile taste enter his throat. He couldn't even remember what he saw in her... His grandfather warned him countless times about her but he didn't listen. Now he was in the middle of a divorce and custody battle, luckily his little filly was out of the picture with her Aunt and uncle in Manehatten. Sadly Spoiled wasn't going to let go, she was a very disturbed mare, he stuttered to imagine what would happen if he wasn't around to protect Diamond from her if she got custody.
He was interrupted from his thoughts as somepony knocked in his door. "Come in..." He said while storing the small picture in his desk. The door opened revealing Hayseed Turnip.
"Boss?.... Their almost ready for the recording.... Also..... The papers came...." He says pulling the large stack of paper work.
"Thank you Hayseed... Is Sweetie Belle here yet?" He asked while looking over the paper work his mood and face souring as it was yet another ridiculous settlement agreement from his wife along with a notice to appear in court again.
"No boss..... I'm sure she will be here any minute though.... Should I get anything else ready? Or do you want me in the back stocking shelves again?" He asked while Filthy just shook his head.
"Pull out a few products from the the store stock room and set up a lunch table. I think our star deserves some special treatment after all. Nothing over 10 Bits though so... Maybe some peanut apple sandwiches, some of those sandwich cookies, hmmmmmmm nonalcoholic cider, and any other snacks that we by in bulk from Zebrica." He says while Hayseed salutes him comically before leaving.
Equestria
Canterlot
Canterlot Castle
Great Balcony
5:01:pm
Celestia was at her wits end, news had just come in that a massive airship was rapidly making its way to her capital and only a fool wouldn't realize who was coming. Even though it was still in the distance she would see the rapidly approaching behemoth, the silver hull shined almost like her sun.
"Your majesty? Shall I ready the royal tea set? Or would you rather a full course meal for the meeting?" Cinnamon Twirl asked while pushing a small tea cart for her princess.
"I suppose a meal would be most appropriate and appreciated. The ship seems to be slowing down as it approaches so I suppose it will arrive in about and hour or so..... can a meal be made in time?" Celestia asked while resting on the red velvet pillow.
"If we serve tea upon his arrival and maybe have a bit of entertainment we will be able if only by the skin of our teeth princess...." The mare responded while serving a small amount of purple velvet cake for her.
"Make sure to have it set for omnivores.... this isn't like the regular meals and meeting we have with the Saddle Arabians." She says while she eats the small piece of cake before sniffing the air. "Are the guards having another bonfire? I thought those were only on the weekends?" That's when something caught her attention in the corner of her eye. That's when she slowly looked over up at Luna's tower seeing a small amount of smoke slowly leaking out of the Lunar Balcony. "Is she using her fireplace?......" that's when the smoke started to bellow out. "N-no..... Guards!!! Guards!!! The Lunar tower is on fire!!!" She shouted before getting up and spreading her wings and flapping as hard as she could knocking Cinnamon down with her powerful gust.
The snow white alicorn while ignoring all grace or elegance that she she was known for flew up the the Lunar Balcony only to find herself flinching away from the hot flames burning within her sisters room. "Luna!!! I'm coming!!!" She took in a deep breath and flew into the room eyes burning from both the smoke and intense heat. "Luna where are you?!" She pushed her way through the flames using her magic to protect herself.
Everywhere she looked she saw priceless heirlooms burning to cinder, the crescent moon shaped bed her sister cherished turning to charcoal before her eyes, portraits of Bat Ponies long passed incinerating, and finally what caught her eye. The crown and regalia sat in the center of it all, damaged from all the heat and flame warping the soft metal. As she continued her fruitless search for her sister in the inferno the Solar Guard burst through the antique doors and started throwing buckets of sand onto the flames.
"Princess please! You must leave! This is a dangerous area for royalty!" One of the identical guards started to try and lead her out while she gathered up the ruined regalia before she was lead out while the Guards fought the raging fire.
Equestria
Above Rambling Rock Ridge
HMS Progress
Lower Observation Deck
5:32pm
The young emperor rested in a rather comfortable wicker chair while he sipped a small cup of black tea with plenty of milk and sugar. While Equestria lacked radio communication it was likely they were already preparing for his arrival after all who could be blind enough to miss such a massive achievement of engineering in the sky? Already they had to use the Loudspeaker to scare away few pegisi who got a little too curious about the super dreadnaught in their sky's. He slowly stood up and walked over to the ordinate brass telescope and slowly adjusted it to look in the direction of the precariously placed capital. He slowly brought the castle into focus he saw a rising cloud of white putting it into focus he saw it was coming from one of the high towers in the castle.
"A fire?..... some sort of greeting?......" that theory was quickly extinguished as he saw a group of flying guards ponies flying up with buckets flying into the tower before coming back out coughing. "A catastrophe?... or just a careless maid?" He slowly moved to the intercom and pressed the call button.
"Your highness?" The voice on the other end of the line was respectful yet tired sounding like from the constant shifts that made the their rapid transit to Equestria possible.
"It seems that our hosts are dealing with a small fire, confirm?" He asked while he waited for a response it took a few moments before the voice answered. "Confirmed though it looks as if they have it handled. Should we reschedule? We could send a messenger using one of the autogyros, the Cierva C.30 is ready to be launched in your order sir."
"Send it but as a courtesy to announce our arrival this meeting is too important to stop just because of a little fire."
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Looks like Luna has decided to cut her ties and get out while she still can.
well damn
I will only go on from the description.
First off. I'm not gonna read this since this seems like something that I won't like.
Next. I don't think canonically a new and industrial empire rise up would affect Equestria on any significant level.
Equestria is seemingly a fully self-sustained country with enough surplus to throw around with other nations around them in an effort to "make friends" and gain allies like the Yaks, griffin, zebra, Saddle Arabia,...
Advance technologies? Eh...Equestria seems like a mess of technological advancement. One moment we see 18th-19th century ships. The next we see a modern luxury cruiser in that one Manehatten episode. Not to mention all the airships in Canterlot, pointing to an already industrialized and rather advanced nations (As such, Equestria has no real fear from another industrialized nation, economically and socially speaking). Don't forget the party cannon and the self-propelled party howitzer of Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich respectively. Which lead to our next point.
Their military weapons. I have to ask you that if the show was serious and aimed at adults, will weapons like firearms even be particularly useful to magical ponies in a high-fantasy magical world?
We know that they already seem to have the concept of Firearm through the "Find A Pet" song. Now, they could've said about many different kinds of bullets. But the only bullet that can keep up with RD is a super-sonic bullet. Shot out from a gun. And that concept probably come from a foreign country that actually have hands or hand-like appendages to effectively use them.
But all of that (What guns could do) could be accomplished by magic. Either passive or active amongs the three main tribes, magic would simply be more efficient when compare to firearms for ponies. That said, they may not even need to fight because they made friends with their more militaristic neighbors like Yaks and Griffin. All they need is to supply their allies, which considering their wealth, they can.
If they can't curb-stomp, then they can at least make their enemies pay a very high price. Too high to be worth invading them.
That is all the nitpickings my half-asleep mind could come up with for now, so bye.
I see you accepted my challenge. This chapter is a notable improvement, and I thank you for it.
The next challenge is as follows. If you take a sentence, any sentence, and read it out if contex, and it does not form a complete thought, it is not a sentence. It's a sentence fragment. On the other end of the scale, a sentence composed of two or more thoughts is a run on sentence. Next chapter, avoid both. Between that and a varied vocabulary your overall quality will improve tremendously.
7644353 static1.fjcdn.com/comments/Leave+anon+leave+now+_3f203b9d55b430ffa396a3b35069f489.jpg
You clearly do not understand this story at all and you're attempts to make magic look all powerful is pathetic at best.
7645264 And tech only prevail when magic got nerfed. So shut the fuck up little kid. This is a high-fantasy magical world. Not broody and edgy world. I will GTFO when you stop being a fucking troll.
7645362 >Implies Magic is enough to beat technology.
Not a good way to judge a story
Should I also mention that only Alicorns and Unicorns can use magic better than every other race. No fucking shit technology will appeal to the other races than magic. Other nations will then focus trade with Britannica considering their tech far surpasses Equestria's, and in the battlefield, tech will still reign supreme. No unicorns or alicorns have the reaction time to set up a barrier in time to stop a bullet.
You also implied Rainbow Dash is faster than a bullet. First, other Pegasi aren't as fast as RD. Second, it takes time for RD to build up speed. Third, RD was under the influence of drugs. No fucking shit she's not in her A game.
Also, you don't need to directly hit RD to wound her.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/46/d8/9d/46d89db12c19cb2a33b8b77980b7bfcc.jpg
Fill the skies with High Explosive Fragmentation Rounds and she's dead. She's not a fucking airplane, she's a living being and she is not going to survive getting hit by hundreds of shrapnel.
orig14.deviantart.net/74c8/f/2016/012/0/c/fuck_outta_here_by_kwannak-d9nrlsj.jpg
7645384 What are you even arguing about? Meh. I'm not gonna read the story anyway...That and your arguement doesn't work. Your mindset is still stuck on Human is perfect in everyway and technologies can not ever fail (or being better then they actually are) so Imma follow your not at all polite instruction and GTFO. Peace!
7645485 I pointed out the flaws of your logic, hence, why you said my argument doesn't work.
You come here, and you criticize this story without even reading it. You are a whole new kind of stupid. It makes me wonder if you were dropped as a baby or you're a product of incest. If you criticize a story without even reading it, then don't even write a story because it's going to be shit with your logic, and don't even bother reading any other stories in this website since you're also going to judge all of them without even reading them.
Leave, nobody wants you here.
Oh and Kyuubi, I apologize for filling your comments with criticisms of Amethyst. I liked your chapter, but I just couldn't stand people like Amethyst.
7645485 and your mind set that ponies are perfect is any better? You have already passed judgement on a story you haven't even bothered to read because you didn't like the summery. Most of your arguments are based on assumptions rather that facts. As for the old Magic verses Science keep this in mind. Magic is only actively used by a small portion of the population while the rest make do with passive magic. Technology has the advantage that anyone can use it actively and effectively with training meaning that many spell casters would quickly find themselves overwhelmed. Also it looks more like the magical blasts unicorns use are more for disrupting enemy forces rather then killing them since when the blasts are used they mostly knock the enemy down rather then killing. We could sit here all night arguing about what's cannon and what's not but in the end your the one who desided to post a critique on a story you haven't even read and I'm the guy who was finally willing to post his first story here. If it's not to your taste why bother even posting here? You think I go around critiquing every pro pony, foalcon, trash heap fic on this website? Nope I have a life and my time is worth more then that. So if I see a fix I don't like I just move on.
7645504 of fine of people want to embarrass themselves critiquing fics they haven't even bothered to read them let them learnt he hard way I suppose.
7645508
7645498
Don't cry foul when I don't kiss ass.
I will kiss asses when I want, alright? That is my right in kissing asses.
I was just throwing my two cents based on the description (which is supposed to let people know what they are getting into) and leave because I have already made the assumption that it is not a story for me. And you know what? I was right. With the rude community that can't take 'other people' analysis of the show's canon technological level along withe accompani the oppinion that "If magic was so useless, what is the point of having it in the first place?" ', I don't want to be here anymore.
P.S. Sp00ky, you're trying to tell me what effect it will have on pony. Saying that they will be devastate because someone receive a flak cannon shell or bullet to the face will die horribly. Of fucking course EVERYONE will be. What I argue is that they have the knowledge and power to counter that. Just like every single fucking proper military in the fucking world. Equestria just take it in a more magical or magitech way.
Fuck this, I'm out.
7645559 never asked you to you just are making baseless assumptions. Besides if You base your critiques on just a single summary your potentially missing out on a number of great stories on this website many people just aren't good at writing summaries and you're just making assumptions based off those summaries so you're kind of setting yourself up here .
7645559
No, they fucking don't. Do you see Anti-Air guns made by Equestria? Do you see tanks made by Equestria? Do you see automatic weapons made by Equestria? Of course they don't, but the fact that you believe the Equestrians have a counter to anything is completely ridiculous.
We also criticize your stupid logic because you criticize a story based out of the description instead of actually reading it. I haven't seen somebody so stupid in a long time.
By the way, you keep saying you're leaving, then why they fuck are you still responding. Did we hurt your pride? I'm sorry you made a stupid comment, but you brought this on yourself. Ever heard of the phrase, "Never judge a book by it's cover" Either you ignore it, or just simply brain dead.
7644320 Agreed. I think she knows Equestria is finished.
7645620 Yeah Luna has woken up and smelled the coffee, too bad by the time Celestia figures things out all that's left will be a smoldering ruin.
7645616 Sigh...Why am I even continuing this with you?
I've said all I wanted to say. Peace out.
7645603 *Shrug* I don't tend judge a story. I am more seeing if it interested me before actually reading it. If it fail to keep me interested for whatever reason, I will simply stop reading, throw down and comment annoucing it and leave. Or even just quietly leaving. Other people can continue reading it if they want to. I'm not forcing anything.
The title caught my eyes, but the description tell me that this might not be my cup of tea.
The whole concept that Equestria is a medieval early gunpowder civilization that heavily depended on other countries economically (which the description seems to implied that they are even more backward in tech level) just irk me on a personal level, and so I put down the comment about canonically, Equestria seems to be doing a lot better than most people thought. It's was more my personal pet peeve than any attempt at insulting others.
It's similar to my other pet peeve of how I hate the mentality that "Celestia must be bad because she is a royalty. No royalty ever is good" and or "The ponies are so happy, that means something must be wrong". How about because she is a good leader that actually managed to carried out her grandplans for the good of Equestria and her people? How about all the supposed "failures" that we've seen in the show a part of her plans to turn Twilight into a good princess and ruler? (Writers' own lack of understanding in politics and military, in how to rule a country, plot conviences aside)
TL;DR: I'm ranting. Long and short of it is that I did not meant to insult. Just stated what I think about the description and what it implied when compared to canon, because some of the implications are my pet peeves.
7645728 If you didn't like what you see by reading the description, then don't criticize it. Criticizing the story without even reading is highly disrespectful to the author you idiot. You basically gave Kyuubi a giant fuck you with a middle finger and then told the author you're story is shit and is worthless. Think with your fucking brain you idiot.
7645728 isn't it presumptuous to assume that anyone cares that you stopped reading a story? I mean it seems more like it's for your benefit rather than everyone else's what makes you think anyone else reading the story cares if you don't like it or if you're going to stop reading it?
7645728 you're also making a lot of assumptions about my story without actually reading it to put it bluntly your assumptions are far off and only show it further that you have not even bothered to read it and thought should be ignored since you have no idea what you're actually talking about if you really want to be a critic then actually read the story and then nitpick bits and pieces of the story don't just pull stuff from your ass it's insulting to both us and you
7645741 You are certainly imaginative.
7645879 And you certainly are an ignorant fool.
7645559 wrote "Fuck this, I'm out."
You said that before. Yet you are still commenting. You have proven yourself to be a liar. You have no honor. If you are going to leave then please leave and stop commenting. Otherwise I will have to contact the mods about your harassment. Hope you enjoy your ban when I do.
7645899
So first of all, keep listening Architect Ironturtle, this is the best chapter you have written, second I have to give you credit, that Brief scene with the warden in chapter 30 was, in my opinion, much better than any other time he has shown up. Now, in response to your last message, I don't know how much help I can be when it comes to emotional scenes, I suppose the best advice I could give is simply, slow down, I know I have said that before, the best example I could give is when you described the HMS Progress, I assume you put a lot of thought into it and I get the scene you are a fan of military hardware, just but as much care and detail into such scenes as you do when you describe military equipment. Think of it like this, Rainbow Dash has lost her wings, a once a generational talent has just lost everything, all her planes for the future, her hopes and dreams, gone forever, that is a really big and traumatic deal, I know from Twilights speech to her, you are aware of that. Sorry if that is of no help, for all I know you fully intend to not give RD process anything, if so, well ignore me.
Now speaking of Rainbow Dash, I think I have an idea as to where you want to take her, but I have to say that for me, you took her fall to far, I know I have said it before, but as I read her getting indigent at the harsh conditions of the pit, the fact that she killed so many kept popping up in my mind, for me it is either far to late to salvage her, or since its only been 1 day in story, far to soon to try to redeem her. To use a very extreme example, years in one issue of Harley Quinn, Harley blew up something like 600 children on Christmas day, form that point on till the big reset button was pressed, that act overpowered everything else she did.
Next, I want to make a suggestion about how you go about incorporating aspects of cannon into you story as I have seen several stories just go off the rails trying to incorporate new cannon and the seasons air. I don't mean to imply that that has happened here, but I would argue that when an author starts a new story they probably should pick a point in cannon and not worry about the rest, for you that would be season 3 a believe, I know its very nit picky but Flurry Heart exists while RD was still at the Academy. One of my favorite stories made the cutoff at the end of season 2 and has been much better for it.
I was actually waiting for the previous chapters talk of the failure of Harmony before I commented on this next part, the short version is I feel you have, undermined your argument with your narrative or at the very least missed an oportunity. This goes back to my first comment, about just how utterly one sided your depiction of Equestria and Equestrians, but it goes beyond that, from where I am sitting you have used the AU tag as a crutch for a lack of a better word.
I did not respond to this at the time, and your right technological progress has been one of the great equalizers, and has generally made life better, I mean we are all human, I doubt there is fundamentally some great difference between you and I. Now how does that work in a world were the three pony races are clearly different, Earth ponies are walking tanks, that can grow anything anywhere, Pegasi have flight and weather manipulation, and Unicorns have been shown to break the laws of reality, how can technology truly level the playing field in that scenario? For me, I can't help but feel slightly let down that instead having a proper contest between the Britannian and Equestrian ways/ideals, you changed the setting right down to its own fundamental governing laws to make Equestria wrong and out classed, full stop. To be fair I also find Zebrica to be a pretty terrible place, and Britannia being essential Imperial Germany even without a genocide under its belt, would never have me root for it, so I'm kinda in an awkward place right now.
Lastly, although Amethyst Blade was out of line I have come to at least a a couple similar conclusions/assumptions as he did, mainly that you have decided to go with the "Celestia is incompetent at everything" trope that a lot of this fandom believes in. To be fair you'r not going with 'evil Celestia' she clearly is well meaning but as far as I can tell and as other characters have said, she is just bad at her job and you have not really done anything to suggest otherwise, and with the Emperor now arriving I do dread the coming meeting between the two. Not only for the previously stated reason but for one I am hesitant to mention, and would rather read more before I decide if I am just seeing things.
7650913 you make good points and I will try to improve and answer a few questions with out giving too much away. The warden is inspired from an old black and white movie (I don't remember the title) but basically he comes of first as this insane over the top caricature but you later end up seeing he's nothing but an actor (a rather lousy one at that) who in order to love out his dream has created this ridiculous persona for his inmates. As for my description at times I worry that I'm over doing it since I want to leave some room for imagination on the readers part I don't like ridged scenery.
As for Rainbow I'm going for a more delayed reaction to her predicament, basically she knows what has happened but it still hasn't really sunk in yet, i have seen this personality where people seem fine for months or even years until it finally hits them and they come crashing down.as for her actions going too far I almost see it as a challenge the story is still fairly fluid to me but I see her redemption or future actions as a challenge to outdo her past (I know this sounds silly). We will also see some more flashbacks that will show her descent didn't happen as fast as we think, I hope that it will show that I do in fact have a plan for her that few won't see coming.
Cannon wise I am sticking to the basic story how ever I do admit that I used the AU tag to simplify their technological base since it's nearly impossible to figure out what they personally have. I mainly stick with the main time period they seem to be in without all the weird technology's that are randomly scattered about.
Your right I have shown a lot of darkness and honestly I'm planing to start showing the lighter side I was basically for the last few chapters pulling away that idealism we all have of Equestria and even showing the dark side of Britainia. This is also a sort of challenge to me I want to see if I can ballence all this bad with good. Policy wise the next chapter we will finally start seeing a true clash of political ideologies and values, I know I have likely been holding it off for too long but I do have plans for the meeting and I promise it won't be some scream fest about who's better.
As for Unicorns the number who show impressive reality bending powers can be counted on our fingers. That's not to say that don't have impressive abilitys however but it seems like for many levitation is the norm, there are unicorns that have some impressive abilities. The issue I'm trying to show basically is that Unicorns and Pegisi have more or less priced themselves out of business we will however see a reviatalion of these businesses later. Yes they have impressive abilitys that give them a disproportionate advantage over Earth ponies and many other races but they are not the majority. Using some rather impressive work done by bronies who are either geniuses or just plan mad I took something i.e. Equestrias estimated population numbers i incoperated it into my narrative. it shown that Unicorns are less populous then the other two races I wrote in a small bit about how they got where they are, if you look back you will find celestia talking about an Earth pony serf rebellion that failed but desimated there small population leaving lasting effects on them. As for Pegisi I made them the second most populous race and took the idea of their weather monopoly and read too much into it (I admit it). Earth ponies are the most populous but control less money and power then other races do to them still being seen as strong backed laborers by the elite thanks to there gifts of strength and instinctual botony.
The awkward place you are right now? With you unsure who to support? That was something I will admit was intentional I'm warming up for the real crash and debate of ideologies, maybe I should have started this way earlier but this is my first story and to a certain extent I kinda wanted it to start between the emperor and Celestia to show what they believe. As for my depiction of Celestia it's not so much incompetence as it is her willingness to see good in her ponies, she's not stupid however and in the next chapter we will finally seen more of her plan to break the nobilitys control of Equestria.
As for you and Amethyst Blade I'm glade you both have some negative things to say about my story. It gives me an idea with how to improve, honestly is all the comments on my story were positive I would be worried. Better to have negative comments then no comments, sure Amethyst Blade was rude but you know what he did make me think about some thins and while I don't agree with much of what he said I'm glad he said it. You however are far more constructive with you arguments however and you at the very least will say what needs work and give me an idea where to go.
Falta "napalm" por aqui y un poco por allá para dar mas cuerpo a la historia pero aun asi es bastante s atisfactoria.