Twilight Tries: Mayhem
After their game of Mind Over Murder, that little purple pony had been very energetic and very eager to do another round of the mad Professor's game show. It was a far cry from the equine's previous demeanor to be sure, but the Boss liked it. Moping and winging around didn't often get things done, after all.
"Hahaha! Ahhh... Nah. Kinzie just wants us to go to The Grove and wreck everything. Maybe we can do more M.O.M. later," the human replied, seeing the pony's expression falter for just a moment before springing back up again into happy...-ish mode.
"Okay... But let's hurry!" she replied like a little girl while the Boss opened her HUB, ordering for her Temptress to appear on the street. Seconds later, the President and the pony were zooming down the road at an absurd speed.
---
Four minutes to cause 700,000 cache worth of damage? With just her stomp power? Piece of cake.
The Boss immediately set about to stomping all over the Grove while Twilight stuck to her Mind Over Murder modus operandi. As the President of the United States sent everything flying with her powerful shockwaves, Twilight picked up after her, tossing cars and people and everything she could find that the Boss had missed. It wasn't a difficult task in the slightest, and the satisfying cache register noise that each bit of damage gave off was more than enough to keep the unicorn invested.
The four minutes had gone by in a flash for them both as the screen faded to black.
---
Score: 679,010
Silver
Cache: 8,400
20% Bonus
XP: 50
---
Twilight Tries: Fraud
Twilight lamented her decision to allow herself to be talked into "Fraud" almost immediately. When they arrived at the spot, they were informed that they had three and a half minutes to cause one million cache worth of damage. Twilight had immediately started flinging everything everywhere, but the Boss had stopped her quickly. She then demonstrated what they were meant to do. Seconds later, the Boss was sailing down the street, constantly smacking the ground and leaving a trail of blood splatter with each impact. She had to cringe at each hit, and loudly grimaced as a very large car hit her and sent her fucking flying.
Two minutes later and the unicorn was also soaring through the air, her body spinning like a top as she screamed "WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"
---
Fraud
Failed
---
Twilight Tries: Guns
After the utter failure of Twilight's self-destruction performance, the Boss had decided to take Twilight to try something a little different.
Twilight waited in the Temptress while she shopped at Friendly Fire, the trip taking a little over a minute before the Boss returned to the car with nothing to show for it. Nothing obvious, anyways.
A few minutes later, the two were on the roof of the Burns Hill nuke plant. The Boss reached behind her and pulled out a Heavy Pistol, holding it up for the pony to see. "This is a gun," she started, pulling the trigger and grinning as the loud bang startled the unicorn. "My preferred weapons. .45 Fletcher. Take it." The human then spun it around to hold it by its barrel, making sure such wasn't aimed at her kidneys as the equine took it in her magical hold.
She watched the purple one examine the weapon closely, turning it around at every angle to try to understand just what she was holding.
And then it happened. One of the most idiotic things the Boss had ever seen/been involved in.
The President of the United States hadn't had reason to doubt Twilight Sparkle's intelligence before. Even after the enraged attempt on her life, she hadn't come to that conclusion. However, as the pony peered down the barrel of the powerful pistol, the President put a hand out to try and stop her. Her hand nudged the grip of the gun, and somehow shifted it within her telekinetic grasp...
BANG!
---
With Twilight squinting heavily and the Boss frowning, the pistol was snatched away. "... Just... Just follow me back to the Gateway."
"... Alright... Fuck, that hurts."
at least you tried twilight..at least u tried
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/handed-most-dangerous-weapon-in-galaxy-luke-meme.jpg
Why indeed Twi, why indeed. Also did you just KILL YOURSELF!? PFFFT!
Well at least it was in the virtual world and not in the real world or else.
The Boss should have just said to Twi: You point the end with the hole at the thing you want to hurt, kill or you just don't like, pull the trigger and the thing goes away or falls to the ground in a great deal of pain, moving/twitching for a bit before they stop. Forever..... Stop pointing it at me Twi.
Oh oh, please add something from the previous games too. Like the eye of the tiger or for Twilight eye of the manticore.
Gun Control (Easy)
Failed
Oh, and Twi? That'll be ten bits for the swear jar.
5530186 My thoughts exactly
Yup, twilight definitely needs a 'Marcia
Haha good on you for holding your word, its actually quite funny imagining twi in cirtin situations I look forward to her taking a spin at driving and looking around a "restored" saints shop. XD it makes me giddy thinking about it.
lol I can't imagine Fraud being fun at all if you were physically doing it (even in a virtual world). Still, it's one of the easiest activities around, Twilight.....how did you fail?
Also....the Boss should have known that someone who had never handled a firearm before shouldn't be handed a loaded one as their first experience. Twi accidentally shooting herself was almost guaranteed.
And Stomp Mayhem? Ugh....I hate that activity so much. Eventually just sprinted around with the tornado sprint to get gold on that one.
.... ... the last line was the best...
Oh god yes. I await more!
5530406 same here. I by tornado as soon as i can.
5530406
5530633 Am I seriously the only one who doesn't like the tornado power? It seems like a waste of clusters to me.
5530677 But you gotta get the whoosh and the whiz and the launching cars into fucking space by running past at 2x the speed of sound.
...And here I thought Twilight was supposed to be the smart one.
5530677
I... I don't even remember the tornado power... wait, was that the one that made things fly through the air around you as you run by them?
Also, oh my god this was fun to read XD I mean, I'm sure some people would be like 'What's wrong with you?! Twilight wouldn't act like that!' but I can kindof see something of a Psychological break following a year and a half of being murdered over and over again, being told she couldn't go home [yet], and then being introduced into a simulation through which she can greatly distract herself from the breakdown by destroying various various digital constructs with less than a shit to give... besides, she's smart enough to realize they're not real people.
Oh Twi... be glad that it wasn't a shotgun pointed at your face
I'm really looking forward to when they all ask Twilight what her world is like and discover that they've had peace for near a thousand years, have no cars OR guns and all sorts of things that the Saints are familiar with are near non-existent xD
5530814 YEAH!
5530677 Honestly, I don't like the tornado power much, either. It makes swiping cars a real pain in the ass (and I like the cars, dammit....I'm not gonna just sprint and jump everywhere when I can drive!). I didn't buy it until I had already finished the game and was struggling with that damned Stomp Mayhem. All the others, I play the way they want you to but I just could not manage to get gold on the Stomp Mayhem one by just using that power.
God that last line!! Too bad these days you can't accidentally shoot yourself in the face and say 'fuck that hurt!'. That is how you end a chapter!
I ha a feeling Sparklebutt would do that at some point
5532187 "These days"? You could shoot yourself and only say that before? Shit, I missed out!
'You'll shoot your eye out kid'. Now all we need is a leg in fishnets table lamp to make the scene complete.
Hahaha! The best part is knowing what'll happen when they kill Zinyak, and Twilight goes home with a Saint mentality...
"Oh my gosh! Everypony! Twilight's back! Yay!" Pinkie Pie shouts.
"Sup?" Twilight nonchalantly asks.
All of Twilight's friends' mouths drop. She never speaks like this.
"So, uh.... where have you been? We've been looking everywhere!" Rainbow Dash asks.
"Oh, nowhere interesting really. Just got abducted by aliens."
Again, mouths drop.
"Oh don't worry! Me and the gang took real good care 'em." Twilight said, her voice dropping to a dangerous tone.
"G-Gang?! What gang?!" The group ask.
"Yeah! The Saints! Best group of badasses ever!" Twilight declares proudly.
The group was speechless; this wasn't the Twilight they knew at all.
"S-So.. when you say,'taken great care of them' you meant you resolved your differences...right?" Fluttershy asks quietly.
"Oh hell no! I mean we killed all of those stupid-ass bitches! The Boss herself beat the shit out of their leader before rippin' his ugly-ass head off!" Twilight declares proudly.
"WHAT?! WHY?!" the group yells.
"'Cause nobody fucks with the Saints!" Twilight yells, before slapping on a pair of purple-tinted sunglasses.
Anybody else?
5534940 Sh-Shut up! Don't spoooooooil iiiiit!
(made me chuckle, though)
5532424 Apparently. Once upon a time, in days of christmas past
.
I've yet to properly experience SR4, but from the way this is written it sounds pretty rad!
5534940
I can totally see that happening.
I can also picture Saint Twilight saying this. too.
5534940
I'm going to write fan fiction based on your comment XD