Sunset Shimmer thinks Adagio Dazzle is, shall we say, really hot. But Adagio has no interest in friendship or redemption. Fortunately, though, Sunset has figured out what she does enjoy: Being adored.
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Warning: Next chapter contains sex.
Oh gosh darnit!
What kind?
Was that intentional or a typo?
Well, Sunset probably does clean up nicely.
Nice.
No kidding.
Nope.
Of course.
Is this going where I hope it is?
YES!
"Adagio was inviting her out on a date, two night from now." nights
when did they get their second round of drinks?
“Without you, I don't know what I would''ve done.” - double '
"Some of her hair had escaped and flew up up as she did so" - I've noticed this double 'up' before in a previous chapter (comfort) - is that a thing?
"taking in the breath of Adagio's hips" - breadth
did you have specific ideas for the drinks? (if so I'd like to try one) to be in a world where they're not carded...
I liked that Adagio has the same level of confidence as before, but not the haughtiness, and even so it's quite tempered with consideration for what Sunset thinks. Also like that it's Sunset that really initiates their move to the next chapter, nice change of pace. well now we know Adagio's in the right mindframe to have sex with her, I was 'afraid' she'd be trying to "take it slow" this time around
I'd kind of forgot Aria and Sonata were a thing! they're so absent from the story, I wonder if they'd said anything about their breakup. I get that this story follows Sunset so there's no place for Adagio's view of how the other ex-sirens took the news, but I'd kind of hoped for something. esp since the mane 6 are so opinionated about it and the three of them were together for so long
Thank you for showing a proper way to use this form. <= My inner grammarian is pleased.
That said, there's a comma that needs a space following it after the word mirror.
EDIT: I finished it, and there are so many "advanced" grammar rules used properly here, I think I have a grammar boner. This entry was exquisite, save the items that were already pointed out to you. Some might take issue with the semicolon list, as when composing a list, you're supposed to use commas, unless an item in that list itself contains a comma, but those felt "better" semicolon delineated. Great job!
6347419
*slurps*