Sunset Shimmer thinks Adagio Dazzle is, shall we say, really hot. But Adagio has no interest in friendship or redemption. Fortunately, though, Sunset has figured out what she does enjoy: Being adored.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I wanted to give it a read... but your face is a boner-killer.
5523573
I'm sorry to hear that.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-FwZvIwAwFYc/UsdGwEj_rwI/AAAAAAAAA8w/JX6IpRibCF8/s1600/+mari-lwyd2.jpg
5523596
Aye, you're right there. Porn without feels gets old real quick.
5523605
I know right. I think my soul was forfeit the moment I decided to have not just one, but TWO humans.
And thank you.
(Actually, now I'm considering doing some non-canon chapter with the girls in siren and pony form. Just for laughs, like.)
I just looked at the picture and realsied that Adagio's eyeballs are bigger than her boobs.
I think I might take a pop at this and do a reading of it. No promises, but you're certainly on my list of to do's.
For reference:
5523674
Thanks for the help.
'fire your have'
you
'painfully awware of how'
aware
"Adagio made a little grown in the back of her throat.'
Err... growl? groan?
'fingers and Adagio'd tongue'
Adagio's
'the bag doesn;t open again'
doesn't
'to see your come'
you
'arm over Sunset's shoulder's'
shoulders
5523691 Heh. That's EQG physiology for ya. I still love it though.
Definitely going to follow this. Clop with plot? BDSM that's tender and feelsy rather than rapey? Yes please.
Also, I'm expecting to publish my second (fully complete this time) fic today, and then I get on the site here this morning and find this new chapter.
> today is a good day
I still like the scene from Ch.1 a bit more, as the kids on the bench and the one in the woods was a bit of a turn-off just to me personally, but then it makes sense as it was part of getting at what you were going for this time. ;) And the rest of it was right up there, of course. Curious to find out just how much Dash happened to see and what develops.
And still looking forward to Sunny reversing the roles at some point, heh.
totally worth the wait. Some small mistakes here and there, but someone else already pointed them out.
how much fun would it be if Sunset tried to explain to RD what was happening, and then Dash holds up a hand and says "I want in"
Great chapter, I do so love my exhibitionism. Especially when it's a sub doing it under orders of a dom :p
(The best ending to this would've been Adagio making Sunset show Dash a little bit as well)
So, first off, I'm not gonna talk about the little grammar things here and there. I'm fairly certain you know of them.
The real meat of me, Inky Jay, making this comment is in your slow buildup of balance. Myself and writing partner Lapis-Lazuli have written story-based clop before ourselves and I'm happy to see that someone else realizes that not only can it be done, but that it can be done well. You've perfectly hooked with the sex aspect, and within three chapters, I can see more and more actual character ship dynamism being developed. You've not abandoned the smexy bits for character development, instead just adding more in as time goes by. I hope to see this culminate in an adorably hot ship, and you have my thanks, respect, and regard for having created a story that has fantastic clop material, but doesn't feel as though it needs that material to be a good story.
Cheers,
Inky Jay
im loving this sotry so damn much, its really interesting and i like how it explores them and what their like together, pls keep going its great
Hmm I am liking where this is going. At first it was really good, but it was just a simple two-shot. Now it looks like it's really going places. I am very very impressed I have read clop stories with plot before, but never like this one
It's very interesting how it kinda jumped right into the clop at first, and the more tender sweeter moments came after, and the whole idea of Adagio still being rather evil and seemingly growing better through this relationship is very interesting as well.
Above all I love how well it all blends. I can remember reading a story or two before where the story was just so good it almost left me a bit disinterested when it came to the actual clop. I haven't seen a lot..........actually I haven't ever seen a clop story with the plot and clop blended so seamlessly. Great job on that
Plus the fact that it's bdsm gets extra points, it's hard to find good bdsm, most tend to just feel rapey.
also as a sidenote
quoted from SkycatherEQG
Yeeeeessss I want that to happen so bad. Show Sunny's feisty side as some point
5523691
>I just looked at the picture and realsied
th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2014/276/3/1/tacos__by_algonquinmaniac-d81fj52.png
(Sorry, I just can't help myself.)
(First time I've done that meme and all.)
(You're right though. Cartoon proportions are would be terrifying in real life.)
5523693
I'd be honoured. Just so you know, though, I don't know when this'll be finished.
5523832
Thank you again! I've gone back and cleaned up the errors.
Oh ho ho... so the gang now likely knows that Sunset is in a relationship with Adagio, maybe even a highly sexual one. Like to think RD caught those boy talking not long before an just had to investigate this blatantly untrue gossip.
Honestly, I like where this is going, that this is developing into something larger. Clop is fun but it is a lot more intriguing and satisfying when it develops into a fuller story.
5523619 I like that idea! Bonus points if you can make the siren form more... substantial.
What!? No! No! I'm not calling you fat Adagio! Please don't hurt me...
5531879 I noticed the typo, but it was too funny to correct
5524250
Thanks! Glad I could provide.
5524262
I fear that may be a perennial problem with this fic. We're gonna have a different kink each chapter, so there's always a chance for disappointment.
Don't worry though. I've got high hopes for the switch chapter.
5524837
Thanks!
5525029
Yeah, I wanted to do my own spin on the popular Shimmy-gets-her-kit-off theme that's been popping up lately. Cheers!
5526085
Thank you so much for the support. Now let's hope I can keep up the balancing act for however many more chapters.
5531069
Will do! Thanks.
5531364
Thank you. I'd guess if there's a reason it blends well, it's because I try and make everything, porn and not-porn, come naturally from the characters. So, like people in real life, sometimes they're horny and want to have sex, sometimes they're emotional and want to cuddle, sometimes they're thoughtful and want to talk, etc.
5531900 Understandable, yep. Comes with the territory. ;) Looking forward to seeing what other ideas come out (on the story development front as well).
Not really hot, I think that's quite a bit too much Adagio made Sunset do.
5560674
I think you're totally right. Sexuality is one of the best routes to characterisation there is. Thanks for the fave!
5572241
Cheers, man. That's awesome.
please continue this story
BUSTED!!!
wow that really is hot. and cruel, which is all the better for Sunset Shimmer's determination to see it through. I like her brainy side, it's a fun contrast to her wanton desires or her insecurity about redemption - and I really like that Adagio appreciates it as well... it really fleshes out her claim of liking Sunset
I wonder what Rainbow Dash actually saw
I hope to read more about the siren bodies in upcoming chapters
“Yeah, my geeky side is TOTALLY the most embarrassing thing I've had on show today.” awesome. I like that Sunset, in all her vulnerability and submissiveness asks Adagio to dress her, and what beauty that she complies bet she almost regrets coming that second time... not that she'd have a chance to get dressed in between anyway
5523597
I didn't know you were a Hollow! It suddenly makes sense!
(But seriously, good story. )
Kinky. Very kinky.