Sunset Shimmer thinks Adagio Dazzle is, shall we say, really hot. But Adagio has no interest in friendship or redemption. Fortunately, though, Sunset has figured out what she does enjoy: Being adored.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Definitly.
Sweet! Two questions though, what are droogs, and can you be a bit more specific than a couple of days? If so, yay, if not, I can wait.
5690159
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Droog
2. Let's say ... 48 hours or less.
5690330
48 hours or less. Sweet!
our?
it feels like... There needs to be more besides the "said X."
they're friends right? why the need to say their full names then?
also, I really liked this:
soo true.
Story and character development does have a place, even in [M]. Good show.
5690358
I saw a number of the small typos as well, but wanted to add one insight on the "said" tags which the editor friend from my two fics clued me in to, and which Mari is probably utilizing here. Using the plain old "said", is a good choice in cases where you want to keep the reader's attention more toward the actual dialog and less on the tag indicating which character is saying it.
5690743
I hadn't thought of that... Now that you mention it, it does seem to be the case.
Suppose I was expecting more details about how Fluttershy showed she had a spine...
5691238
Ah, yep, re: Flutters. I forgot to mention (this is mostly to Mari too) that I really liked how you had Fluttershy be the catalyst that started the acceptance across the group (and Applejack to an extent as well).
And waiting patiently for the next day or so. ;)
very nice, good development and everyone feels exactly in character. we can always depend on rainbow dash to be a shitty friend lol.
Just a few days?
All porn?!
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
Well rainbow dash is a fucked up friend
“Speaking as a former demon here: That's really unpleasant behaviour. Especially coming from one of the self-appointed heroes of Canterlot High. I'm almost impressed.” While Dash has points, it's really not any of her damn business what Sunset does for pleasure, plus it seemed low to talk about her past which can't be forgiven AND brought up. “At least you admit she's a bitch.”
I squeed when Adagio waved at Sunset. I'm surprised she wasn't a little more upset. I genuinely appreciate how honest Adagio is and the directionality of "I don't want to see them hurt you" is cute if not a bit absurd and backwards from the norm
It wasn't until after lunch that Sunset truly realised she had been bestowed with the position of Adagio's reformer. I'm glad for all their support, however grudging, but this part made me a little sad... I know it's not what either Sunset or Adagio wanted
but flutters is really cute with her logic
You write Pinkie Pie astonishingly well.
A couple of subtle jokes, which had me very nearly in hysterics, yet her "hyper" wasn't too OTT, which is, I think, the most common mistake authors make. Hell, you write Pinkie better than the writers did in EQG1!
So, not gonna throw a tantrum about how much Rainbow Dash tends to annoy me... but GODS Rainbow Dash tends to annoy me. How the everloving Star Swirl is Sunset supposed to deal with this now?
I always disliked hearing reform in mlp. It makes me want to throw someone through a window