The Wacky Adventures of Sonata Dusk at Canterlot High
Chapter 1: Backlash
It had been a week since the Battle of the Bands at Canterlot High School. Life at the school for the most part had returned to normal, yet a few blocks from the school a dejected looking Sonata walked down the street, wet makeup staining her face. Her bloodshot eyes were puffy, a telltale indicator that she recently cried.
As she walked down the street Sonata recalled what had happened merely three days after the Battle of the Bands.
*Flashback to a few days ago*
Sonata sat at the back of a diner with her friends Adagio and Aria; it was the same greasy spoon they visited countless times before. This time, though, they did their best to keep a low profile given that the town was less than keen about the trio after they had tried to enslave Canterlot High in an attempt to regain their siren powers.
Sonata looked to each of her friends-- Aria looked unengaged as usual and Adagio just looked bored and miffed.
"Ugh, I can't believe we have to sulk in the back like this," Aria groaned. The back of the diner was not very well kept, it was dusty, had a few cobwebs and was poorly lit to boot.
"We were so close! That stupid Twilight Sparkle and her friends ruined everything." Adagio clenched her fists, her words a low growl. "If I ever see any of them again-"
"You say that as if we'd actually be able to get within forty feet of them, if anyone from Canterlot High saw us on school grounds they'd probably kick our butts something fierce," Aria interjected. She was right, of course, the students certainly weren't in a forgiving mood after what they had tried to do. "I'm done with this town, I say we just move on-"
"To where?!" Adagio snapped. "In case you aren't aware, news about us is all over the Web, the whole world knows what we are and what we did."
"So what you’re saying is… we're basically screwed?" Aria asked.
Adagio donned a disgusted and annoyed look. "Yep, our names are now complete mud." Adagio smacked her face onto the table in defeat.
Sonata, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up. "Um girls...maybe it won't be so bad?”
Aria turned and addressed Sonata. "Yeah, maybe not...if you weren't The Worst."
Sonata attempted to respond. "Am-"
"You know what...Aria is right."
Sonata faced back toward Adagio. "Wait, what?"
Adagio lifted her head off the table. "I agree with Aria, you ARE the worst, Sonata." She glared at Sonata; the blue-haired teen shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "You know, maybe if you had actually taken all that seriously, we could have pulled it off," Adagio stood, her face getting red and the volume of her voice rising. "But no, as always, you were too off in your little world of gumdrops and pudding."
Aria glared at Sonata and added her own verbal lashing. "You’re a compete joke Sonata! You don't take anything seriously; it’s all a little kid’s game to you."
Sonata felt herself shrinking "Thats not-"
Adagio slammed her fist on the table causing Sonata to jump in her seat. "You’re nothing but an ignorant child, Sonata, and let me tell you...when I started planning our revenge...baby-sitting was not on the to-do list."
Sonata reeled at the stinging insult. "A-Adagio, you don't mean that."
Adagio's face was now violently red with barely concealed anger. "Oh yes I do, I mean every single word...you know what, I think me and Aria can handle ourselves just fine as a duet."
Sonata's face paled a bit at that comment. "W-What do you mean?"
Adagio gritted her teeth and came nose to nose with Sonata. "I mean...get yourself some new friends."
Sonata felt her heart skip a beat, unable to respond.
Adagio turned away from her former friend. "Come on Aria, let’s get out of here."
Aria glared at Sonata one final time, then turned back to Adagio. "Right behind you Adagio." She then got up and followed the now other half of the Dazzlings out the back door.
Sonata quickly pulled herself together and ran after her friends. "Aria, Adagio wait, let’s not be hasty about this, I'm sure we can work this-"
*SMACK*
Sonata fell silent and slowly put her hand to her cheek; it felt hot and a red hand print appeared where Adagio had slapped her 'former' best friend.
Sonata looked at Adagio with a hurt and heartbroken expression, and a single tear rolled down her cheek as she was unable to form any sort of response to Adagio's action.
"Come on Aria, let’s go, I think the baby is about to cry."
Adagio pulled up her hood, while Aria did the same; the two walked off while a stunned Sonata stood there trying to process what had just transpired.
Sonata collapsed to her knees and remained silent for a good minute or two, then she covered her eyes and began to cry. With each passing minute her crying got louder and heavier, the tears continuing until she didn't have any tears left to cry. Emotionally exhausted, she then got up and walked a few blocks around the city before finally going to the park and laying down on the grass to get some sleep.
This was the cycle Sonata repeated for the next four days-- she walked to the diner, cried for a bit, walked a couple of blocks around the city and then went to sleep at the park.
*Flashback to the present*
Today however would be different for Sonata; she found herself straying off her usual path and unknown to her she was walking towards Canterlot High. Some of the music class students were hanging out in front of the school and spotted Sonata walking towards the school.
Octavia was first to speak. "Hey, it’s that rotten siren Sonata."
"But where are Adagio and Aria, and why aren't they with her?" one of the other musicians asked.
Sonata paid them no mind and kept walking with the same lifeless eyes she had at the start of her walk. Without thinking, Sonata strolled into the school lobby.
There were only a few students but they almost immediately stared at Sonata when she walked in the door; again, Sonata paid them no mind as she was off in her own world again...however it wasn't the 'Gumdrops and Pudding' it usually was; this time, it was cloudy and grey.
Sonata then bumped into something, and for the first time today moved her eyes from the ground to look at what she ran into...and she almost immediately snapped back to reality when she saw she had bumped into Principal Celestia.
Sonata put two and two together in an instant and realized she had waltzed into Canterlot High, the same place her and her...'former' friends had tried to take over with their siren magic, she backed away slowly as if she had just ran into a large thug with a lead pipe in a back alley.
Principal Celestia responded in a tone that was much more curious then angry. "What are you doing here, Sonata?"
Sonata began stammering, desperately trying to form an answer. "I-I...well...y-you see...I..." All at once, the shock, panic and the lack of food in the last few days merged in an overwhelming wave. The Siren-turned-teenager began to collapse from fatigue. Principal Celestia’s faint voice echoed in her ears before the darkness fully overtook her.
"Get her to the nurse's office...You! Go get her something to eat… poor thing looks like she hasn't eaten in days..."
Just before everything faded to black, Sonata felt herself be picked up and felt her arm wrapping around someone's neck; the last she saw was a pair of headphones as the exhaustion finally caught up with her.
I like stories like this can't wait to see more.
It's a solid story and I like the premise, but the delivery needs editorial work. If you like, I'd be happy to assist.
Already working on Chapter 2 :)
Edit: I just got myself an editor so hopefully the grammar will seem improved next chapter
This looks like it could be a great story... with a lot of sandpaper. I'd be more than happy to volunteer, if you are in such desperate need of an editor.
Try to avoid telling the reader what character feels. You should rather show us that she's angry, by describing her actions, expressions, voice, etc.
5073975 thanks for the tip
Edit: actually went ahead and made an edit from your advice
That poor girl...I look forward to where this story is headed
There's a Sonata Dusk Tag if it helps.
This seems interesting. I'll see where this goes.
Definitely shows promise. (hits the upvote and fave buttons) It's seemed evident from the sneak peeks and such Sonata is the least malevolent out of them and is probably the only one who'd have a chance at changing her ways.
When I saw the first sneak peak I really felt like Sonata and Ditzy could be friends lol
5073518 Knows, and wants, Taco Tuesday. She seems like the most well-adjusted to humanity of the three.
And Scratch to the rescue with the headphones.
5074975 Plus shes Sooo cute
s6.postimg.org/5ul2jmext/continue_Monkey.jpg
5075593 Damn straight!
5075593
Yes she is. She's like Harley Quinn from the animated Batman series or Ty Lee from Avatar.
5074587
True so true...
How dare the bearer of the Fragment of Hospitality be so...inhospitable! Don't know what the Fragments are? Read my story, The Fragments of Symphony.
5076767 Mai turned good in Avatar too. She still had a negative attitude, but she did turn good!
Well, I have a soft heart, but I hope things will be okay with Sonata.
Looks interesting enough, Also, so far, you seem to have avoided most beginners mistakes.
One small advice though:
You should work on your flashbacks- announcings. They look like in a theater script or if you want to summarize a movie.
In general, mostly two concepts are used (although of cause with different designs and formulations):
or
You might also think of your own way to do this, but you should avoid using the word 'flashback' when doing a flashback, just like you don't write 'introduction', when implementing a new character.
It sucks to be a magical creature stuck in a human body. Also, where the heck have they been living? The movie really doesn't set that kind of stuff up well, too trivial to the central plot I guess. The doubles of the elements of harmony apparently have homes, but no parents?
This is a great start, I'm curious to see what happens next.
5080543 Same thing for Sunset Shimmer, we still don't know where she has been staying this entire time. Is she sleeping at the school somewhere like twilight did? or did she somehow replace that world's Sunset Shimmer?
Poor Sonata!
Aww, if only I could give you a hug, Sonata...
Aww poor Sonata. Adi and Aria can GO FALL OFF A CLIFF! (they didn't know that they fell)
Well Adagio and Aria will experience every dark murderous thought that has ever popped into my head
I felt So bad for Sonata here.
Can't wait to read the other chapters!
Man , i just feel bad for Sonata.
5075593 Hey , i'll agree on that one , too my friend.