Rainbow Dash gets a wing cramp while flying over Sweet Apple Acres, and has to make a crash landing. Good thing Big Macintosh is there to help! But things get a bit more heated then expected: pegasus wings are very sensitive to the touch...
...I kinda want to see Dash and Mac actually care for the children once they're born. It's like you teased us with the chapter where they were already born and then we just jumped through the time warp!
It'd also be interesting because they wouldn't really have the time for regular sex with two foals in their lives, so you could maybe explore sexual frustration and such. And before you write in that they'd just get a babysitter, just remember how attatched mothers get to their newborn babies and how much they'd worry about their pride and joy while they were out, which would aso lead into...Ahem, not being too into it.
Also, what's with all the scene breakers? Like this one:
Mac suddenly grew serious, knowing they needed to discuss what had happened earlier now that he was no longer uncomfortably horny. "About earlier...Dashie, what the sam hill did ya think ya were doin'?"
~
Rainbow Dash sighed as she realized this was finally upon her: the moment of truth. She took a deep breath in anticipation before biting her lower lip, tears welling again in her eyes. "I...I don't know..." she said, her closed eyes starting to leak her tears down her cheeks; "I just...wanted to get away for a while. I got so stressed thinking about being a mother that I just wanted to forget all that is coming up in the coming years. How...how horrible of a mother I thought I was going to be." Rainbow said, pouring herself out to her stallion.
It's like you just cut to a half second later?
Oh well, I still enjoy your work, even if I don't review every chapter, and even though it's clop, it still has a very good story and romance in it which helps alot. Most clop-fics don't bother.
So keep on writing, and I'll keep on reading! Have a Pinkie and a Moustache!
(I wish I had a picture of Pinkie with a moustache, but I, sadly, do not )
6414621 I may or may not continue this story with a sequel, so yeah...though I'll give a 'maybe'.
Regarding the spacing, I apologize if I get a bit excessive. I went ahead and fixed the one you listed, but please keep in mind I don't have an editor to send this to, hence why there are some hiccups throughout this story and all my others.
I have devoured all chapters without Pause now and i must say this a brilliant Story you made there. It got all emotions outta me. And i am really looking vorward to the next chapter!!
After not receiving any response from his mare at his touches, he considered what to do next. "Rainbow..." Big Mac reached a hoof over and lifted Rainbow's chin up and finally saw her tear-blurred eyes focus on his, looking into those beautiful cerise eyes as he spoke his next words confidently – "...yer gonna be an AWESOME mom."
Not to ruin the moment, but the awesome mom train kind of left the station when Rainbow got black-out drunk while pregnant…
Well Mac, if you're ever in need of any money I'm sure you could be the masseur for the Wonderbolts. Using your hooves only of course.
Not that Rainbow would let him touch another pegasus' wings anyway
...I kinda want to see Dash and Mac actually care for the children once they're born. It's like you teased us with the chapter where they were already born and then we just jumped through the time warp!
It'd also be interesting because they wouldn't really have the time for regular sex with two foals in their lives, so you could maybe explore sexual frustration and such. And before you write in that they'd just get a babysitter, just remember how attatched mothers get to their newborn babies and how much they'd worry about their pride and joy while they were out, which would aso lead into...Ahem, not being too into it.
Also, what's with all the scene breakers? Like this one:
It's like you just cut to a half second later?
Oh well, I still enjoy your work, even if I don't review every chapter, and even though it's clop, it still has a very good story and romance in it which helps alot. Most clop-fics don't bother.
So keep on writing, and I'll keep on reading! Have a Pinkie and a Moustache!
(I wish I had a picture of Pinkie with a moustache, but I, sadly, do not )
6414584 But she wouldn't mind so much if he touched a stallion's wings?
6414627 I actually meant to change that part after I read it. Adding the spoilers must have made me forget.
6414621 I may or may not continue this story with a sequel, so yeah...though I'll give a 'maybe'.
Regarding the spacing, I apologize if I get a bit excessive. I went ahead and fixed the one you listed, but please keep in mind I don't have an editor to send this to, hence why there are some hiccups throughout this story and all my others.
Anyhow, thank you for your continued dedication!
6414584 Well, that would be an idea, but he's a farmer for life.
Defiantly not disappointing :D
6419515 Glad you liked it!
6420544 ^^
Now keep writing haha
I have devoured all chapters without Pause now
and i must say this a brilliant Story you made there. It got all emotions outta me. And i am really looking vorward to the next chapter!!
6509625 Glad to hear you liked it! I put a lot of effort into it.
Next chapter is...in the makings.......yeah...
6510042
New chap hype. Woot woot.
6704515 It's such a wonderful feeling to hear that your story moved someone in that way. Thank you for giving me that feeling.
6809582 It's never too late. I'm glad you love it! I tried my best to make a good relationship between them, and apparently I succeeded.
Not to ruin the moment, but the awesome mom train kind of left the station when Rainbow got black-out drunk while pregnant…