A/N: Edited by frieD195! Please tell me if something feels weird, or even rushed. I made some slight adjustments before posting this, so I want to know if it turned out alright. Next chapter is the epilogue and some final notes + some information about the sequel. Enjoy! And now I'll go and feel sad as I put this as completed.
The Gala was in full swing. So far nothing had gone wrong, and everypony was enjoying themselves with this luxurious night at the castle. Discord, however was bored out of his mind. Luna had left him momentarily to find Celestia to talk with her about the evening so far. Discord was sitting in a corner, looking at the ponies present at the Gala. So far he had seen Mac, Shining Armor and the Elements of harmony. He had also been forced to decline numerous invitations to dance from several mares. He didn’t want to run off with another mare when he was originally at the Gala with Luna.
His gaze shifted to the announcer standing on top of the stairs on the opposite side of the room. The announcer had just presented griffin royalties. That gave him an idea for a way to have some fun... He made his way across the room, ignoring some... very inviting mares. As he had finally navigated through the room, he sighed in relief and trotted up the stairs. ’‘Hey, you...’’ He whispered harshly to the unsuspecting announcer. The announcer walked up to him. ’’I just got word about some griffin nobles arriving unprepared.’’ The announcer’s eyes widened. ’‘Their names are Ayama Deuce and An Anazrammer. Their names are weird because they’re from the southern part of their land.’’ Discord shooed him off. ’’Go on, do your job...’’ Discord held back a laugh as the announcer stepped forward.
’‘Fillies and Gentlecolts; I am a douche and an ass-rammer!’’ The announcer choked on his breath as he realized that he had just made a complete fool of himself. Discord, however, was lying a few feet back from him and rolling on the floor while howling with laughter. The crowd erupted with waves of laughter and the poor announcer had to leave the room. The spirit stood up and looked down at the crowd below and mock-saluted.
’‘Thank you, thank you! I’ll regrettably be here all night!’’ He walked to the staircase and started laughing again.
’‘Pri-hi-hiceless!’’ Discord wiped his eyes with his left hoof. He cantered down the staircase while snickering wildly. Standing by the bottom of the staircase was Luna and she did not look happy. Discord gulped and walked to her with his ears back. ’’Hi there, beautiful!’’
’‘Hello to you too.’’ Her eyes narrowed.
’‘I’m... I’m in trouble, aren’t I?’’ Discord deflated and waited for the scolding of a lifetime. Discord flinched as Luna took an ominous step toward him, only to become confused as Luna gave him a peck on the cheek. ’‘Huh?’’
’’I like seeing you confused.’’ Luna winked and Discord grinned. ’‘But what you did to Golden Scribe wasn’t very nice.’’ Luna positioned herself to stand just beside him. ’‘Come on, I want to introduce you to some ponies.’’
’‘Happy days...’’ Discord drawled sarcastically. Luna pouted and used her magic to give him a push. Discord stumbled forward and started walking with his ears back. ’‘Where’s Tia?’’
’‘She’s conversing with griffin nobles and royalties in one of the less populated areas of the Gala-area.’’ Discord nodded absent-mindedly. Luna lead him through the crowded room. The ponies in their way moved as they noticed that a princess was walking toward them. Discord saw Mac and Twilight dancing awkwardly with eachother. They were just stepping from side to side. Twilight rested her head on his left shoulder and Macintosh was holding his head onto hers. Discord saw a small group of ponies which Luna was leading him to. ’‘Fancy Pants, meet Discord.”
The white unicorn stallion with a light blue mane turned toward them and bowed. His eyes wandered over onto Discord, who shuffled awkardly with his hooves. The classy unicorn focused his magic and adjusted his monocle. ’’Ah! Jolly good to meet you!’’ He grabbed Discord’s right hoof and shook it forcefully. ’‘Princess Luna was talking about you and you were such a fine character that I just had to meet you. But do forgive me when I do say that I was expecting something... Bigger’’
’‘Yeah, you know, Luna here also thought that I’d be a little bigger as a pony. And to be honest, so did I. There was nothing wrong about being a draconequus, but you know, constant chaos and all that jazz...’’ Discord sighed. Constant chaos... That was his true being, a monster bent on disharmony. He shook his head and smiled weakly.
One of the mares in the group gasped and spoke up. ’‘You mean... You are that terrible creature who nearly destroyed all order in Equestria?’’ The mare was horrified, and some of her peers soon followed in panicking. The room started feeling awfully warm for Discord.
’‘Yes... I am... that monster...’’ Discord looked at the floor. ’‘...Just a monster.’’ His ears dropped and he sighed. Luna placed her left wing on his back and held him toward her side. ’‘And you know what?’’ Discord looked the mare straight in her eyes. ’’I enjoyed causing havoc. I was too caught up in wreaking chaos everywhere I went that I missed what was really important.’’ Discord looked at Luna. ’‘All of that is in the past and I intend to keep it in the past, so drop it.’’ He hissed and the mare took a step away from him.
’‘Well, I never!’’ The mare huffed and walked away with her head held high. Discord snorted a small puff of mist from his nostrils. Luna stroked a hoof through his mane, effectively calming him down significantly.
’‘Don’t mind Upper Crust, she’s a pain in the behind and has always been one.’’ Fancy Pants muttered and shook his head. ’‘Now onto some more happier news! I heard from Luna that you were going to-HMPF’’ Luna stuck a hoof into his mouth in panic while shaking her head rapidly. Discord arched and eyebrow at his marefriend’s strange behaviour. As he removed the hoof, she squeaked her apologies, but Fancy Pants just smiled and shook his head.
’‘I’m going to what?’’ Discord repeated what he knew after listening to the interrupted high-class stallion. Luna’s eyes darted from side to side. ’‘What’s going on here?!’’ Discord raised his voice.
’‘You’re... You’re going to come with me and talk to the Twilight Sparkle and her friends!’’ Discord could read Luna like a book; she was hiding something from him... But what? He would have to find out later. He’d play along for now though. He nodded and followed Luna again. Luna glanced back at Fancy Pants and made a quick zipping motion over her mouth with her right forehoof. The classy stallion nodded and went back to his little group of flank-kissers.
-----
Big Macintosh was sitting next to a wall with Twilight leaning toward him. This night had been a success, even with a few mares asking him to dance with them when he was here with Twilight. Twilight sighed happily and snuggled into his shoulder. ’‘Are ya tired?’’ He asked as he nuzzled the top of her head.
’’A little.’’ She shrugged. Twilight would have to thank Discord for doing this for Big Mac and her. She stopped moving momentarily as she thought about the spirit who had lost almost his entire being. She would never understand how it would feel to lose all of one’s innate magic like he had. When he had first met her, he had just removed her horn, not her magic. ’‘But if I take it easy for a while then I’ll be okay in a matter of minutes.’’ She smiled and Mac tsked at her adorkable behaviour.
’‘Mac and Twilight, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G~’’ Discord’s playful voice shattered the moment between the two. Twilight sighed and Mac rolled his eyes. The spirit in question cantered happily toward them. Luna was following him with an apologetic smile. ’‘Aww, look at you two!’’ Discord cooed. in an obvious mocking tone. ’‘Before we all know it, you’ll be getting married and having foals!’’ Discord snickered at the thought. ’‘And I will be Crazy ’Ol Uncle Discord! It has a certain ring to it, right?’’ Discord grinned as Mac and Twilight blushed. Luna punched the spirit playfully.
’‘Leave them to tend to their own relationship, Dissy...’’ Discord cringed as Luna used the nickname she never used while adressing him in public. Mac snortled and Twilight lifted a hoof to her mouth to conceal her snickering. Luna smiled innocently. Discord shrugged it off like a champ, though.
’‘But it’s just so fun to meddle in other ponies’ relations!’’ Discord whined, but Luna gave him a disarming glare which made Discord stop immediately. Nothing is more frightening then an angry mare, after all.
’‘Yeah, list’n ta yer mare, Dissy...’’ Big Mac chortled and recieved a glare from the unamused spirit. Discord rolled his eyes and sighed. Yep, that nickname would follow him everywhere he went now...
’’I have to go and check on the progress between my sister and the griffins. I’ll be back in about half an hour, depending if I have to interfere.’’ Luna gave Discord a long kiss which lasted for a couple of seconds. She shuddered as she pulled away from it. ’’Be nice...’’ She whispered into his left ear. Discord nodded dumbfounded. As Luna walked away, Discord felt his cheeks heat up, but he rubbed his face with his forehooves and looked away.
’‘Dang...’’ Macintosh whispered.
Discord’s mind wandered off to his predictament. Would he ever have the guts to say what’s happening to him? How would Luna react? Would Celestia even believe him when he told them? Hell, would even Luna believe him? He decided to wait and find out when he would eventually tell them. But he couldn’t do it today, he didn’t even know if he could do it tomorrow. He would have to wait for the right opportunity to tell them all about it.
He felt like he had to find something to drink, preferably something wuth liquid confidence, also known as alcohol. But Luna had told him that the Gala was an alcohol-free event. One good thing was that he knew where Celestia hid her booze... He rubbed his forehooves together in anticipation and wandered off to collect his booty.
-----
About five minutes later, Discord was trotting into the throne room again with a slight wobble in his step. His pockets on the tuxedo clinked from time to time as he trekked through the room, heading straight for the table where the refreshments were.
He glanced around suspiciously to see if nopony was looking at him. When he was satisfied with nopony staring at him, he reached into the pocket on his left side and pulled out a large bottle of fine scotch. He unscrewed the bottle gently and deposited the contents of the bottle into the bowl of punch. After being satisfied with the result, he stirred it a couple of times for good measure and hid the bottle beneath the table.
He moved onto the other bowl of punch, but this time he pulled out a bottle of Moonshine. The spirit had no idea of how Celestia had gotten hold of any, and why she hadn’t told him of it. He did the same with this bottle as he did with the bottle of scotch. He left some moonshine in the bottle and took a long, satisfactory swig to empty the bottle completely. He burped and yet again, hid the bottle beneath the table.
He took a cup of the punch mixed with scotch and walked back into the crowd, disappearing like a much less than graceful drunken ninja. Discord snickered as ponies started drinking more and more punch with every passing minute. After a while, Celestia herself came to take some punch for herself. She took the punch mixed with Moonshine. Her eyes narrowed and she smacked her lips after taking a sip. She shrugged it off and walked away to talk with some of her subjects. Discord had to fight to not laugh as Celestia’s balance faded in and out from time to time.
Luna walked toward him, but stopped momentarily as she smelled the air around him and noticed the way he was standing to keep his balance. He grinned and walked toward her. Luna lifted her right foreleg and placed it on his chest while looking him dead in the eyes. ’‘Discord. Have you been drinking?’’ Discord frowned and looked away.
’’No...’’ He wobbled and had to sidestep to not fall over. ’’...Maybe...’’ Discord fell over onto his side ungracefully and flailed his arms like a helpless foal. ’‘What... What was the question again?
Discord braced himself with his forelegs and pushed to stand. He wobbled to the left as soon as he stood up. ’‘Are you drunk?’’ She repeated the question, but this time it was simplified for him to understand while in his current state.
Discord squinted. He had to play this off gracefully or he would be in some big trouble. He clicked his tongue and tsked. How hard could it be to just say no? Well... Very hard by the look of the situation. He decided to flatter her to win her over. ’‘Your... Your face is...’’ Oh right, he had been drinking, after all... ’‘Drunk...’’ Yep, he said that her face was drunk.
Luna facehoofed. A hammered coltfriend was something that she really didn’t need right now. A gasp rained through the crowd, making Luna groan and turn her attention to the crowd. What she saw was something that she’d never forget; Celestia was wobbling from side to side while scolding Prince Blueblood. She ran to her sister to remove her from the public eye.
’‘And... And you think you look so good when... When I have seen dragons who look better than you. Dragons! You’re... You’re irresponsible and a disgrace for the Platinum family, you ungrateful little sh-’’ Luna interrupted her just in time.
’‘Celestia!’’ Luna gasped and took hold of her sister, who gave her a bone-crushing hug which made Luna gasp desperately for air. Luna took this opportunity to focus her magic and teleport to Celestia’s quarters. When they were in Celestia’s room, Luna levitated her loving sister away from her and laid her on her bed. Celestia was asleep within seconds. She sighed and teleported back to the throne room.
To her horror, Discord was nowhere to be found. She looked around in panic, just to see no sign of the missing spirit. The very familiar, albeit slurred voice of Fancy Pants echoed through the hall
’‘Which one of you peasants stole my monocle?!’’ He glared daggers at the ponies standing around him. Luna snortled as she realized that he was a mean drunk. A pair of guards approached him and took him down. He was wildly protesting as he was lead out from the room by the guards. She continued her search for the mischevious spirit.
In the far side of the throne room, she found Discord snoozing while curled up in a ball of goldish-grey fur and messy gray hair. In his right nostril was the ‘stolen’ monocle. She giggled and levitated him with her. She found an advisor and told her to cut the Gala short because of the alcohol problem. The advisor didn’t question her decision and ran off to complete her task.
Luna teleported back to her room with Discord in tow. She laid him on her bed and removed his clothing. He stretched his right hindleg and scratched it behind his ear like a dog and rolled over onto his back. Luna removed her own clothing and accessories and joined him in her bed. Discord snuggled into her neck and sighed contently. Luna kissed him on his forehead and fell asleep too soon after.
-----
As the first sunrays of the morning creaked through the windows, Discord struggled not to shout obscenities due to his ravaging headache. He pulled the cover over him completely and clutched his head with his forehooves. Maybe it wasn’t a very good idea to drink yesterday, after all... He lifted the cover to see a glass of water and a painkiller waiting for him at the nightstand beside the bed. He silently thanked Luna and threw the painkiller into his mouth and downed the water.
The door into the room creaked open slightly, and the princess of the night walked inside carefully. ’‘Discord..?’’ Luna asked. Discord removed the cover completely and sat up while groaning. Yup, drinking wasn’t a very bright idea... ’‘How are you feeling?’’
’‘Like my head was stomped on by a buffalo...’’ Luna giggled and walked inside. She had been tending to her sister as well, and had called off all court duties today for both of the princesses. They needed some time off, after all. Luna bit her lip and climbed up onto the bed to sit next to him.
She took a deep breath and prepared to say something that would change both of their lives together. ’‘Discord... I have something that I have to tell you...’’ She looked straight into his crimson eyes. ’‘It’s about... Us.’’
Discord’s ears flattened to his skull. She wasn’t... She wasn’t breaking up with him or anything? Discord gulped and laid his right forehoof on her left hoof. ’‘Wha-.. What is it?’’ Discord leaned forward, ready to beg for forgiveness and redemption if he had to. Luna looked away from him and onto the floor. How was she supposed to tell this to him? How would he even react? She sighed.
Luna lifted his forehoof, looked at it for a couple of seconds, and then straight into his eyes again. They were filled with concern. She smiled weakly and brought his hoof to her stomach and held it there. After a while, Discord’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He stared into her eyes for confirmation, and a twinkle from her eyes as she nodded gave him the confirmation he needed.
’‘You... You’re...’’ Before Discord could ask the entire question, Luna nodded and silenced him with a short kiss. After the kiss, Discord’s entire face lit up as he grinned. This is what he wanted. This is what he always needed. This is what he sometimes dreamed of becoming.
A father.
*walkie talkie static* the buns are in the oven, repeat the buns are in the oven, over. *static*
*walkie talkie static* Rodger that, Eta until DOB T minus, eleven months and counting.*static*
*walkie talkie static* my name's George not Rodger. *static*
*walkie talkie static* Rodger that.*static*
YEAH!!!
DADDY DISCORD MA-A-FUCKAS,!!!!!!
YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
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Luna: How shall we name her?
Discord: ...Screwball.
A beautiful end, but I wanted to see Luna's reaction to Discord saying that he was going to die.
You sir are amazing and deserve a medal.
I can't wait for the sequel. May your pen flow with ideas and your stories be filled with awesomeness.
~Black Light
Fuck yea! Cool story bro!
1084958
this
Please do us all the favor of letting him see his kid get born before dying. Pretty please?
1085284
Hey, I'm not that cruel...
1085287
(Fluttershy yay) Yes!
awww but what will it look like? i mean ya he looks like an alicorn now but he is a ... i cant spell it for the life of me draco thingymaboper
I don't think giving birth to the spawn of the God of Chaos is... healthy for Luna, you know cuz they baby is gonna be kinda... chaosyyy soo.. Couldn't it be a chest burster or some random shit?? I don't want to envision Luna exploding and a baby draquoneques in a top hat covered in Luna bits.. or it could be a normal alicorn with enormous amounts of both magic and Chaos, and could prank Equestria into the next Ice Age?? Which would be totally funny, undortunately ice ages=ponypopsicles. And I can already imagine all the drama when he tells her he's dying... Sad but he'll obviously try to cheer her up, fail horribly driving her into a deep depression which could have unknown side-affects to their unborn child.. Naahh I'm just kidding!! Anyways keep doing what you do best!! Which is writing awesome shit like this!
1085327
Do you mean draconequus?
1085455
That's the spirit!
Daddy Discord?
I've ssen this coming I also love the way how you've incorporated Fancy Pants, the only noble I wouldn't send to the giloutine , into the story. He's awesome as always and even an aquitance, or even a close friend of Luna! It's only a little sad, that you've cut the gala thing a little short I would appreciate a little bit more chaos and the interactions between the drunken ponies
We need a sequel!
1085640
It's coming in due time. I have an epilogue planned for this as well.
1085674 Excellent. Any more side romance plots in the sequel like the one with MacinTwi?
1085702
Oh, and what fun would it be if I would ever tell that? Wait for the sequel to find out~
1085711 Not saying a word huh? Well I'm placing my guess here.
uh... its my first comment on this site...I liked this. Very funny.
1086229
Glad you liked it! Welcome to FiMfiction!
saw it coming.
Awesome~
I FUCKING CALLED THAT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT........wow glad I got that out of my system. But I can't wait until the next story I wonder what will happen when she finds out he's dying
There better be a fucking sequel.
Because this was amazing.
Lovely
Dear God!
Luna is ... WHAT!
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my thought at the end of the chapter: "If it's a girl name it Nyx cuz
nuff said."
1219981 not to burst yur bubble but there's a fan character named nyx already, she's basically nightmare moon seperated from luna and twilight is her mother in a way
yea nyx is awsome
knew it was bond to happen
Say, that bit at the end with Discord's thoughts...
Was it supposed to be an obvious reference to the movie 'Hook', or just serendipity?
I will fucking KILL Luna!!!!!!!!!!!!! Discord is MINE!
I love your story btw !
2676472 Okie Dokie Lokie, you and Rarity can go plot stupid plans together. Meanwhile I will prepare a stake in which bronies will burn you are if you do kill. Luna.