Don't Stop For Anything

by shipper me timbers

Chapter 3

A few months have passed and Scootaloo has done nothing but train. Today was the day, the golden day, Scoot's was finally going to cover up that blank flank of hers. She made a huge deal of it, telling the whole village. Most of the ponies of gathered in one area, and Scootaloo wore Rainbow's old wonderbolt uniform that surprisingly fit her perfectly.

She flew high, oh so very high that it's like she left the atmosphere. She looked off, seeing stars so bright and so dim. She looked down at the spot she would fly to. She smiled and took a breath. "Today's the day... Now let's do it!" She dashed down, toward ponyville, gaining speed fast. She loved the feel of the wind hitting her so fast, the feel of going so fast gave her a pulse of adrenaline. She started to worry a bit though, seeing as she was quite likely getting close to mach 1 but no aura could be seen or felt. She reached about half way to the ground, still a long way to go, but no aura. But suddenly, she could feel it, the white aura could be felt. She was getting dangerously close. "Don't give up Scoot's! Do what Rainbow said! Don't stop for anything!" Suddenly, a blast of enrgy happened, a rainbow behind her. It was happening! She performed a sonic rainboom! She smiled brightly, feeling a tingling feeling in her flank. She closed her eyes and smiled, feeling her speed going to insane speeds. She then opened them, before hitting the ground.

A week has passed since the incident. Scootaloo has been buried, Dash, being the first to put the dirt on her coffin. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle being second. Nobody thought she would screw it up this badly. They thought she would either succeed or fail, not this kind of punishment being involved. There was on thing happy about this though. When Apple Bloom pushed through the crowd, like a bull, to get to Scoots, she could see giant rips in her uniform, noticing a specific one showing the side of her flank. The one thing happy about this. Scootaloo had her cutie mark.

Author's Note:

Hi! Thank you for reading my first story! Please leave some suggestions in the comments section that maybe I could change in upcoming stories to make them better! Since I'm forever alone, I don't have a guy to check my spelling and grammar, so sorry if you notice some things wrong. And if you want me to make an alternate, more happy ending, then message me!

Comments

[Defender9to5]

Why did the make such short chapters, it would be easier to just put it in one chapter

[Kaptein]

I'm going to put my comments on the story as a whole into one comment here, instead of keeping them on each chapter:

In general, your writing is very tight and tidy - but there are some areas that stumble. The tense in the third chapter seems wrong (to me). I would have used 'had' instead of 'has' to put it into a proper past tense.

There was a light knock on the front door. Scoot's ears perked up and got up then headed to the door. She slowly opened the door, only to see Apple Bloom. "Scoot's, why are you up here, in our old tree house?" Apple Bloom said to Scootaloo, confused.

I'm just using this as an example. You're being repetitive. We already know there's a front door - so you don't need to mention it each time.

I would word it like so:

There was a light knock on the front door. Scoot's ears perked up as she (re-worded for better sentence flow) got up, heading to it (Door has been replaced by 'it'. It's shorter, reads quicker and promotes better flow). Slowly opening it, she saw Applebloom. (Cutting away excess information - Scoots and interacting with the door, thus implying AB is behind it). "Scoot's, why are you up here, in our old tree house?" Apple Bloom asked (There is only one pony AB can speak to - that's Scootaloo), confused.

Another example in Chapter 2:

Scootaloo walked through the doors of the Ponyville retirement home, She walked walking (joined the two sentences together - better flow) over to one of the mares that worked there, who was cleaning. (This can be on its own line)Scoot's caught her attention by saying (The quotation marks already show that she's talking) "Um, miss?"

These are just a few examples - but keep it up! We all started at some point and what you have here is far better than what I was doing when I first started writing.

The story...I'm not really a fan of the ending. Have Scootaloo earn her happy ending. maybe if she was hospitalized or something? I dunno - not my story xD

[shipper me timbers]

4703251 Hi! Thanks for the tips, the reason some parts of it weren't that well was because it was 2 in the morning XD But thanks for the compliments also! I'll make sure to remember these tips :)

[shipper me timbers]

4702520 I don't know honestly :/

[shipper me timbers]

4703251 Oh! And one more thing, if you want me too, like I put in the authors note in the last chapter.... I think anyways. BUT, if you want me too, I can write an alternate ending that's a happy ending. I meant for it to not be a happy ending, you know, kinda like my little dashie. Your choice bro :)

[Kaptein]

4704238 I'm not going to tell you how to write your story xD

The most I'll do is offer suggestions.

My personal preference is when all the characters earn their happy ending (usually through much suffering.

In some ways, Scootaloo did earn her happy ending here (not that it was very happy for the others).

[Fire Spirit]

I like the emding and how short it was . U didn't drag on.

[TheRavenFromTheDeep]

I would enjoy an alternate end to this just to satisfy those feels.