I also realize I should have added Zedd to the list of artists Vinyl likes. Esp since he did a remix of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" once.
Also, little note - I watched "The Monuments Men" last night, and I can't help but want to apply some quotes from that movie to the arts saviors. I might put a scene like that into my story.
As always love it, and I am so glad we all get to work with each other!
4450845 Go ahead! I ain't gonna stop you cause that'd be so fun to write Hell... please. Let me in on that scene :) Sorry for having this take so damn long... Imma admit it. I ain't gonna lie, I have nobody to blame for it other than me. I got kinda lazy. P.S I love working with all of you so much too... :)
4465856 You can thank Rush and Kizuna for that. I might have started it, I might have tried to write its devastation... but they just made it so much more personal
You know that somebody crossed the line when Fluttershy of all ponies wants to bring them down, HARD.
And the character of Catseye has made me think about a disturbing fact.
All the characters in the story are supposing that ALL the TCB!Equestria has been brainwashed but, what if some ponies are deliberately helping Queen Celestia without some sort of brainwashing out of genuine hatred of humankind? That's some fridge horror there.
It could be a bitter surprise for the Equestrians, the fact that some ponies did this on their own volition, without the influence of the bag.
what if some ponies are deliberately helping Queen Celestia without some sort of brainwashing out of genuine hatred of humankind? That's some fridge horror there.
Oh no, there totally are. Like the equivalent of Catseye, who may or may not be dead because Kraber tried to reenact a 2000-point skillshot from Bulletstorm on her (And if she's not, I'm gonna write that in later). And it's not like the Tyrant Sun would have to change much about Lightning Dust for this to happen...
4468191 I said "May or may not." Besides, the image of Kraber actively trying to reenact something as gloriously sadistic as something from Bulletstorm amuses me.
"Devastating victory in Canterlot?" Is every little thing gonna be alright? Would you kindly tell me? Ahhhh! Also, caught the Night Vale reference. The Tyrant would be a perfect Strexcorp avatar. Good connection.
Damn, that expo made me tear up. Humanity can be a bunch of dicks sometimes, but when we pull through, we pull through well. Maybe Equestria will help with the rebuilding?
'Oy. Can't believe it took gettin' on the TV Tropes page for me ta find this! Since I just finished getting caught up with my other stuffs, looks like I found something else good to read...
4492030 Nah, the whole "lazy" thing isn't you, it's just something that's been eating at me a little. Not much now, cause it's been like three weeks since finals. ...I'm so glad that's over!
Incredible... Never thought this would pop up. I looked forward if you are able to (eventually) post more reaction chapters. Those are probably ones that I won't be able to get enough of. But this should do for some time. Quality better than quantity after all.
The first part where the contrasts between the Uptime and "Normal" versions was quite powerful.
But the Exhibition of Humanity is astoundingly powerful in its darkness.You can see it celebrating Humanity's art, culture and technology. But at the same time, it tells of their anguish as their ancestral lands are taken away from them and they are systematically slaughtered. It's like the Smithsonian combined with the Library of Congress combined with the Louvrè combined with the memorial at Auschwitz.
Excellent work. You've managed to draw out powerful emotions from your readers.
4493712 I do have some tid bits to offer. Though overall a fantastic chapter, some of the scenes could have been exemplified by the using of some more showing in key areas.
One picture confused Twilight; it appeared to show masses of humans that were running toward the barrier. When she pondered why the humans would do that, a chill went down her spine. These humans appeared to be suicidal, she theorized they were left behind during a desperate, rushed evacuation from a heavily populated area. And now since there was no escape from either death or becoming a newfoal; they were trying to atomize themselves against its magic. She sighed, realizing it was still better than becoming one of those horrible abominations known as newfoals.
Her eyes widened in shock when she saw black and white CCTV photographs of what appeared to be a birthing ward in a hospital. What she saw made her nearly vomit her breakfast. She saw defenseless, newborn human children being forced fed the potion, by what she deemed to be the foulest of monsters in pony form. Yet, these ponies thought without any moral ambiguity whatsoever that they were doing ‘morally’ the ‘right thing’ to ‘save’ humanity. ‘Save’ as in murdering innocent babies… converting them into stupid pony newfoals and essentially enslaving their minds? In her mind there was no doubt that these ponies were either insane maniacs or brainwashed, by perhaps some sort of mind control spell.
Clue in with details on more how she physically reacts. Give us an inner insight into their thoughts. I am not exactly the best when it comes to showing, but I will try to give you a general idea of what I have in mind.
I.E: Twilight Sparkle paled as she looked at the video before her. The video description itself stated that it was footage from one of the attack on some forsaken Port in Europe, with the first encounter of the crippling blows that the Tyrant's minions could inflict upon the defenseless populace. Twilight watched as the video began, weary of witnessing live footage of such a thing in action. If her mentor Princess Celestia, who had been driven into such a mad frenzy after Marcus's memories made her...
Twilight shook her head.
"Focus Twilight. Concentrate on the present filly!" With that, she resumed watching the video. As the video flickered on to show a CTV recording, she grimaced as she realized she was looking upon a wounded man in a ruins, crawling to what appeared to be an armory of a sorts. Twilight flinched when a the door leading inside the room was shattered with a loud bang. When the dust cleared, her heart stopped.
"Well, well, well? It would appear that not all of you humans have foolishly offed yourselves after all." A familiar voice chimed in. Out of the dust walked in Twilight Sparkle, who trotted over the man and sized him with her magic.
"Oh God no! Please no! Don't make me- AUGH!"
What happened next caused Twilight to let out a scream.
"This- this is... Oh my Celestia!" *Note: Here I would insert some detailed scene of how 'Twilight' would give "reassurances" as she saved the man, all while giving all the details of the transformation, the aftermath, the actions of the newfoal inflicting the same fate on his peers, and most of all, Twilight's own reactions and emotions in intensity. I am not well versed doing such a thing, so my apologies for the lack luster scene that follows, though it should give you a general idea of what I mean to convey. Hopefully.*
The transformation took all of forty five seconds in all. But she would never forget the horrible screaming. Oh Luna, the horrible screams as the sounds of bone and flesh crunched, limbs shifting and rearranging themselves as the man's form shifted into that of a pony. As the transformation nearly finished and began warping the man's head into that of an equine, she saw the last glint of pure terror escape from the man's eye before it winked out of existence. Then the newly born pony smiled, eyes opening as he bowed down to his 'savior".
"Oh Twilight Sparkle, thank you for granting me this most glorious gift from our beloved Goddess. Are we to share this generosity to the others?"
The Upstart Twilight smiled in return, lending a hoof to help the newfoal up.
"Yes. In fact, I believe there are children not too far from here that are in need of rescuing. Assist me in helping bring salvation to them."
The next few minutes caused Twilight to physically wretch and sob as her counterpart led a mass of newfoals into a school compound. She could only watch as the manic unicorn forced the potion down the throats of defenseless children, who soon rose up and did the same to the others around them. By the end of it, there was nothing left but the masses of smiling newfoals, staring straight at her.
When the video cut off, Twilight collapsed into a fetal position and began to weep.
"Why? Oh dear Celestia, why?"
--------------------------------------
Like I said, I am poor when it comes to showing, but I hope this has given you at least a vague idea of what I meant. Fully explore the physical and mental tramua that the characters sustain as they watch their own counterparts committing such atrocities live. Pictures are one thing, videos are another. Draw upon the Spectrum's chapters where Celestia dives into the depths of Marcus's memories and her reaction to them. Tap into it, and it could help the story gain a little higher in terms of the feelings department.
4507481 Is it going to be switching between those three worlds in each chapter or just focus on what's happening in Equestria after the three are introduce?
I am kinda interested in the other races of Equestria handling the humans in their world.
4507643 It was going to be three stories per chapter but I'm starting to wonder if that isn't enough. And somehow I don't feel qualified to write a story taking place in Zebrafica.
I find this one to be one of the best side-stories in the "Spectrum"-verse, since it actually gives the Mane 6 something to do, since they are annoyingly out of focus in the main story (which I hope changes soon). The one thing I still hope for is a meeting between the Spike we know and the TCB Spike (as soon as he is well enough to talk). Poor guy always get so little screentime otherwise.
Biwak is indeed German for a military camp in the wilderness, I was in one myself as I'm German. If you need help with adding more German sentences, or make Stephan act more German, I'm eager to help out. (Btw. his name actually is spelled wrong, in German the spelling would be "Stefan")
While reading this, I listen to "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Miserables, sung by Susan Boyle and it fits. I think that the song would actually fit TCB Lyra, talking about how she dreamed her dream to meet humans and bring together, but TCB Celestia made her dream into a living hell. Life killed the dream that TCB Lyra dreamed, but took the remains and morphed it so that humans and ponies did end up coming together, but as compatriots desperately trying to stop the apocalypse, not as peaceful neighbors.
It really is one of the most tragic things I've read because, like Twilight observed, those places that the barrier has consumed will never truly be the same again. Even if TCB Equestria is defeated with minimal losses, by the time everything would be rebuilt (and it can never be made exactly as it was before) those who knew it before it was wrecked will most likely be old or dead. Jerusalem and Mecca are lost to the World's faiths, Aushwitz and Berlin are lost to those who remember WWII, Europe and most of Russia are lost to those who remember that it wasn't just the US that would make their opinion known on how the world should be.
Things can be rebuilt, but they will never be the same. At the same time I suppose, that gives us a chance to build things better than they were before. Ultimately, that is all we can do, cherish something good while we have it, and when it is taken away unjustly, try to do better when and if you get it back. Things may pass into legend, but the spirit of those places and those events are what defines the human race. We cherish it and we'll continue to try to keep our history close, even if we aren't able to completely reconstruct it.
For as long as our history books last, we'll remember the great heroes like Churchill, the villains like Hitler, the spiritual leaders like Jesus and Muhammad (as a Christian, the losses of Jerusalem and Israel hit pretty hard.) We'll remember with shame how evil we could get, but remember with pride when others stepped in to put the mad dictators down.
Wow, look at me, waxing philosophical. In short, great chapter, it accomplishes its purpose, to give a side-story that is thoughtful and a bit of a celebration of Humanity so that the Mane six can see us when we're not devoting ourselves to total war.
What about his reaction to the idea of combined arms, with infantry, armored vehicles, and tanks supported by artillery, aircraft, Special Forces, drones, and satellite surveillance? Shining Armor already knows combined arms tactics by using Earth pony fighters, Pegasus air power, and Unicorn magic. But, not to the extent that a modern military uses combined arms tactics.
How would Shining Armor react to smart artillery shells such as the SMArt 155 that has an infra-red sensor and millimeter wave radar to find targets, cluster bomb sub-munitions, and the GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast (MOAB, commonly known as the Mother of All Bombs)?
By that ‘morally righteous’ flawless ‘logic’, you would have to wipe out countless sapient species. Because they are all supposedly ‘inherently evil’ and not just trying to survive their inhospitable environment.
I think the title... is a bit much....
4450664
Yeah, it needs to be shorten: 'TCB: Spectrum: Side Story: Calm Before The Storm'. Might be a good title.
4450670 ....
that looks worse.
How about Calm Before The Storm.
Just link it to Spectrum in the description.
4450664 ...Yeah, we do take a lot of flak for all those colons.
I'll see what I can do.
4450678 This better?
4450757 Yes
4450765 Oh, that's good
W00T W00T!! It's finally posted! About time too!
I also realize I should have added Zedd to the list of artists Vinyl likes. Esp since he did a remix of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" once.
Also, little note - I watched "The Monuments Men" last night, and I can't help but want to apply some quotes from that movie to the arts saviors. I might put a scene like that into my story.
As always love it, and I am so glad we all get to work with each other!
4450845 Go ahead! I ain't gonna stop you cause that'd be so fun to write Hell... please. Let me in on that scene :)
Sorry for having this take so damn long... Imma admit it. I ain't gonna lie, I have nobody to blame for it other than me. I got kinda lazy.
P.S I love working with all of you so much too... :)
4450897
Indeed! And we really have to get rolling on the 7th chapter. I'm kinda at a brick wall right now.
4451019 Well, as someone once said in One Piece: "I'll do what you can't do. And you do what I can't do!"
Cool story bro!!
4452254 thanks!
4453853 Thanks! =D
ok, I don't cry often, but the exhibition left me in tears. Bravo good sir.
4465856 You can thank Rush and Kizuna for that. I might have started it, I might have tried to write its devastation... but they just made it so much more personal
You know that somebody crossed the line when Fluttershy of all ponies wants to bring them down, HARD.
And the character of Catseye has made me think about a disturbing fact.
All the characters in the story are supposing that ALL the TCB!Equestria has been brainwashed but, what if some ponies are deliberately helping Queen Celestia without some sort of brainwashing out of genuine hatred of humankind? That's some fridge horror there.
It could be a bitter surprise for the Equestrians, the fact that some ponies did this on their own volition, without the influence of the bag.
4468115
Oh no, there totally are. Like the equivalent of Catseye, who may or may not be dead because Kraber tried to reenact a 2000-point skillshot from Bulletstorm on her (And if she's not, I'm gonna write that in later). And it's not like the Tyrant Sun would have to change much about Lightning Dust for this to happen...
4468158
Don't make Krabe hog all the kills, let him share something for the others.
Because something tells me that Fluttershy and Pinkie would LOVE to have a nice chat with her.
4468191 I said "May or may not." Besides, the image of Kraber actively trying to reenact something as gloriously sadistic as something from Bulletstorm amuses me.
4468208
Indeed.
"Devastating victory in Canterlot?" Is every little thing gonna be alright? Would you kindly tell me? Ahhhh!
Also, caught the Night Vale reference. The Tyrant would be a perfect Strexcorp avatar. Good connection.
Damn, that expo made me tear up. Humanity can be a bunch of dicks sometimes, but when we pull through, we pull through well. Maybe Equestria will help with the rebuilding?
'Oy. Can't believe it took gettin' on the TV Tropes page for me ta find this! Since I just finished getting caught up with my other stuffs, looks like I found something else good to read...
... Oh gawddamnit this is good. Really good. Makes me wanna do something like this, honestly.
Though I'm not too good with actually writting stuff, hmm...
4474464 To be honest, I don't actually know what happens in Canterlot. Only that there will be a big climactic battle. AND IT WILL BE AWESOME
4474838 Thanks so much! Though... if you were gonna make a side-story, what would it be about?
This chapter can rot in the deepest pits of hell!
The days of edits. My eyes. They'll never grow back.
(Just in case people are too thick, it was a joke, my eyes already grew back.)
4491865 ...well, I'm glad your eyes grew back.
4491865 And I'm... really sorry about how long this took. Not only did I have finals, I got damned lazy about it too.
4492025
Dude, no worries, you did what you could, when you could, I mean, this is you, writing, because you want to. Don't make me slap you.
4492030 Nah, the whole "lazy" thing isn't you, it's just something that's been eating at me a little. Not much now, cause it's been like three weeks since finals.
...I'm so glad that's over!
Incredible... Never thought this would pop up.
I looked forward if you are able to (eventually) post more reaction chapters.
Those are probably ones that I won't be able to get enough of.
But this should do for some time. Quality better than quantity after all.
The first part where the contrasts between the Uptime and "Normal" versions was quite powerful.
But the Exhibition of Humanity is astoundingly powerful in its darkness.You can see it celebrating Humanity's art, culture and technology. But at the same time, it tells of their anguish as their ancestral lands are taken away from them and they are systematically slaughtered. It's like the Smithsonian combined with the Library of Congress combined with the Louvrè combined with the memorial at Auschwitz.
Excellent work. You've managed to draw out powerful emotions from your readers.
4493456 I'm happy to see someone liked the Exhibition
I was a little worried it might be... kind of cheesy
But now I am VERY happy
4493712 I do have some tid bits to offer.
Though overall a fantastic chapter, some of the scenes could have been exemplified by the using of some more showing in key areas.
Clue in with details on more how she physically reacts. Give us an inner insight into their thoughts. I am not exactly the best when it comes to showing, but I will try to give you a general idea of what I have in mind.
I.E: Twilight Sparkle paled as she looked at the video before her. The video description itself stated that it was footage from one of the attack on some forsaken Port in Europe, with the first encounter of the crippling blows that the Tyrant's minions could inflict upon the defenseless populace.
Twilight watched as the video began, weary of witnessing live footage of such a thing in action. If her mentor Princess Celestia, who had been driven into such a mad frenzy after Marcus's memories made her...
Twilight shook her head.
"Focus Twilight. Concentrate on the present filly!" With that, she resumed watching the video. As the video flickered on to show a CTV recording, she grimaced as she realized she was looking upon a wounded man in a ruins, crawling to what appeared to be an armory of a sorts. Twilight flinched when a the door leading inside the room was shattered with a loud bang. When the dust cleared, her heart stopped.
"Well, well, well? It would appear that not all of you humans have foolishly offed yourselves after all." A familiar voice chimed in. Out of the dust walked in Twilight Sparkle, who trotted over the man and sized him with her magic.
"Oh God no! Please no! Don't make me- AUGH!"
What happened next caused Twilight to let out a scream.
"This- this is... Oh my Celestia!" *Note: Here I would insert some detailed scene of how 'Twilight' would give "reassurances" as she saved the man, all while giving all the details of the transformation, the aftermath, the actions of the newfoal inflicting the same fate on his peers, and most of all, Twilight's own reactions and emotions in intensity. I am not well versed doing such a thing, so my apologies for the lack luster scene that follows, though it should give you a general idea of what I mean to convey. Hopefully.*
The transformation took all of forty five seconds in all. But she would never forget the horrible screaming. Oh Luna, the horrible screams as the sounds of bone and flesh crunched, limbs shifting and rearranging themselves as the man's form shifted into that of a pony. As the transformation nearly finished and began warping the man's head into that of an equine, she saw the last glint of pure terror escape from the man's eye before it winked out of existence. Then the newly born pony smiled, eyes opening as he bowed down to his 'savior".
"Oh Twilight Sparkle, thank you for granting me this most glorious gift from our beloved Goddess. Are we to share this generosity to the others?"
The Upstart Twilight smiled in return, lending a hoof to help the newfoal up.
"Yes. In fact, I believe there are children not too far from here that are in need of rescuing. Assist me in helping bring salvation to them."
The next few minutes caused Twilight to physically wretch and sob as her counterpart led a mass of newfoals into a school compound. She could only watch as the manic unicorn forced the potion down the throats of defenseless children, who soon rose up and did the same to the others around them. By the end of it, there was nothing left but the masses of smiling newfoals, staring straight at her.
When the video cut off, Twilight collapsed into a fetal position and began to weep.
"Why? Oh dear Celestia, why?"
--------------------------------------
Like I said, I am poor when it comes to showing, but I hope this has given you at least a vague idea of what I meant.
Fully explore the physical and mental tramua that the characters sustain as they watch their own counterparts committing such atrocities live.
Pictures are one thing, videos are another. Draw upon the Spectrum's chapters where Celestia dives into the depths of Marcus's memories and her reaction to them. Tap into it, and it could help the story gain a little higher in terms of the feelings department.
Hope I wasn't being pretentious in this comment.
So, you're handling the relationships between the TCB!Earth and Equestria that the main story will miss or sometimes gloss over?
4507166 Pretty much!
...And gonna try and write something set in TCB!Equestria. It is... pretty depressing.
4507481
Is it going to be switching between those three worlds in each chapter or just focus on what's happening in Equestria after the three are introduce?
I am kinda interested in the other races of Equestria handling the humans in their world.
4507643 It was going to be three stories per chapter but I'm starting to wonder if that isn't enough.
And somehow I don't feel qualified to write a story taking place in Zebrafica.
I find this one to be one of the best side-stories in the "Spectrum"-verse, since it actually gives the Mane 6 something to do, since they are annoyingly out of focus in the main story (which I hope changes soon). The one thing I still hope for is a meeting between the Spike we know and the TCB Spike (as soon as he is well enough to talk). Poor guy always get so little screentime otherwise.
Biwak is indeed German for a military camp in the wilderness, I was in one myself as I'm German. If you need help with adding more German sentences, or make Stephan act more German, I'm eager to help out. (Btw. his name actually is spelled wrong, in German the spelling would be "Stefan")
4546816 Thanks so much!
4546816 Working on it.
While reading this, I listen to "I Dreamed A Dream" from Les Miserables, sung by Susan Boyle and it fits. I think that the song would actually fit TCB Lyra, talking about how she dreamed her dream to meet humans and bring together, but TCB Celestia made her dream into a living hell. Life killed the dream that TCB Lyra dreamed, but took the remains and morphed it so that humans and ponies did end up coming together, but as compatriots desperately trying to stop the apocalypse, not as peaceful neighbors.
It really is one of the most tragic things I've read because, like Twilight observed, those places that the barrier has consumed will never truly be the same again. Even if TCB Equestria is defeated with minimal losses, by the time everything would be rebuilt (and it can never be made exactly as it was before) those who knew it before it was wrecked will most likely be old or dead. Jerusalem and Mecca are lost to the World's faiths, Aushwitz and Berlin are lost to those who remember WWII, Europe and most of Russia are lost to those who remember that it wasn't just the US that would make their opinion known on how the world should be.
Things can be rebuilt, but they will never be the same. At the same time I suppose, that gives us a chance to build things better than they were before. Ultimately, that is all we can do, cherish something good while we have it, and when it is taken away unjustly, try to do better when and if you get it back. Things may pass into legend, but the spirit of those places and those events are what defines the human race. We cherish it and we'll continue to try to keep our history close, even if we aren't able to completely reconstruct it.
For as long as our history books last, we'll remember the great heroes like Churchill, the villains like Hitler, the spiritual leaders like Jesus and Muhammad (as a Christian, the losses of Jerusalem and Israel hit pretty hard.) We'll remember with shame how evil we could get, but remember with pride when others stepped in to put the mad dictators down.
Wow, look at me, waxing philosophical. In short, great chapter, it accomplishes its purpose, to give a side-story that is thoughtful and a bit of a celebration of Humanity so that the Mane six can see us when we're not devoting ourselves to total war.
Happy 2015!
I detect a missing trope.
I think you can expand Shining Armor’s section with these ideas.
Could you discuss how Shining Armor reacts to the concept of fire and maneuver military tactics?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_and_Movement
What about his reaction to the idea of combined arms, with infantry, armored vehicles, and tanks supported by artillery, aircraft, Special Forces, drones, and satellite surveillance? Shining Armor already knows combined arms tactics by using Earth pony fighters, Pegasus air power, and Unicorn magic. But, not to the extent that a modern military uses combined arms tactics.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Combined_arms
How would Shining Armor react to smart artillery shells such as the SMArt 155 that has an infra-red sensor and millimeter wave radar to find targets, cluster bomb sub-munitions, and the GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast (MOAB, commonly known as the Mother of All Bombs)?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMArt_155
How do you make military virtual reality training simulators to be pony friendly?
http://www.army.mil/article/84453
This is so fucking brilliant!
Exactly.