Chapter 3
Fried eggs and roast fish made for an excellent lunch. Cliff Runner didn't trust a herbivore to know how to cook either, so he did that part himself. Meanwhile, the Princess helped herself to a bowl of oats and a side of hay, all the while trying not to look disgusted at her companion's meal. “I can't believe you ponies survive on that stuff,” he told her after they were both finished.
“I can't believe you don't like it,” she responded. “Those oats were delicious.”
Cliff looked over the pans and plates he had dirtied while preparing his meal. “How do ponies clean their dishes?”
“With water, of course.” The Princess rolled her eyes. “How else?”
“Dragons use fire.”
“You're joking.”
Cliff picked up a pan and breathed a steady stream of green fire into it. After a few seconds, the grime in the pan was turned into a fried crisp, which he scraped into the trash with his claws.
“I guess that's one way to do it,” the Princess said as she washed her own dishes in the sink. “We still have a few hours before Spike wakes up. Was there anywhere else you wanted to visit?”
He shook his head.
“Then maybe you could start teaching me ancient draconic?”
It was better than heading back into that mass of ponies. “Okay, I'll need a quill and some parchment.”
-_-_-_-_-_-
The Princess was smart. Frighteningly smart. In just a few hours, she memorized several hundred runes and all of their variations. Ancient draconic was one of the few written languages that had no spoken equivalent. Instead, each rune represented a noun, verb, adjective, or idea, which could be expressed in any verbal language the reader chose.
Princess Twilight gave him a piece of parchment with several runes scrawled on it. “Is this correct?”
“Changing, monster, defeated by, brother, and brother's wife,” Cliff read. “I have no idea why you wanted to say that, but it's written correctly.” He looked across the table at the ecstatic princess. Nothing seemed to make her happier than learning something new.
“I can't wait to tell Celestia about everything I've learned today.” She looked at the clock and sighed. “It's time to wake up Spike and head over to Sweet Apple Acres.” She started gathering up the quills and parchment. “Cliff, could you get Spike while I finish up here?”
“Of course.” The young dragon made his way to the bedroom, and gently roused his sleeping brother. “Hey Spike, it's time to get up.”
The baby dragon let out a deep yawn. “Okay, okay, Twilight, I-” His eyes snapped open. “Cliff Runner!” He jumped up and caught the older dragon in a hug. “I thought you were a dream!”
Cliff hugged him back. “Don't worry, I'm real. Now come on, the Princess says we're going to that apple farm to help plant a new field.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” He slid down and went for the door. “By the way, why was I in Twilight's bed?”
“Sorry, I didn't know which one was yours.”
“It's the basket, Cliff.” He pointed at a pet bed between the two normal ones.
“You sleep in a basket?”
“What? It's comfortable.”
Cliff Runner had to wonder if living with ponies had warped the younger dragon's mind. He ate grass, had feelings for a unicorn, and apparently, he liked to sleep in a bed meant for pets.
-_-_-_-_-_-
As they walked to Sweet Apple Acres, the Princess told Spike about what he had missed.
“What did I tell you?” Spike beamed. “Rarity's a total knockout, isn't she?”
“She's definitely something special,” Cliff said tactfully. He wasn't going to call anything without scales a 'knockout.'
They went through several minutes of apple orchards before reaching the farm itself. Cliff was in awe that one family could run it all by themselves. Clearly earth ponies were vastly superior farmers to dragons.
The farmhouse was made out of wood, which didn't make much sense for dragons, but both it and the barn looked well made and inviting. Pinkie Pie, the energetic pony from that morning, was out front, talking to an orange mare wearing a wide brimmed hat.
“Howdy, Twilight. Howdy Spike.” She called when she saw them. “An' you must be the brother I've been hearin' so much about.” She held out a hoof, “Put 'er there, friend! I'm Applejack.”
Cliff took the hoof and gave it a firm shake. “Cliff Runner.”
“Pleased as punch to make yer acquaintance.” She motioned to the pink pony behind her. “Pinkie Pie here tells me that ya just arrived from Canterlot last night.”
“Yes, I did.” Cliff tried to keep the confusion out of his voice. He was pretty sure he hadn't told Pinkie that particular detail.
“Well if yer feelin' worn out from the trip, ya'll can relax in the house 'till we get this field planted.”
The offer was tempting, but Cliff had agreed to help, not to watch. “I'll be fine.” I need my exercise anyway.
“Glad to hear it.” She turned to Spike. “How are you an' your brother gettin' along?”
“Great!” the baby dragon said. “He taught Twilight and I a ton about dragons, and next he's going to teach us how to use dragon magic!”
“That's great to hear.” Applejack patted Spike on the shoulder. “Ah, it looks like Rarity an' Fluttershy are here.”
Cliff Runner turned around and saw that the white unicorn and yellow pegasus were indeed approaching. Fluttershy seemed to be hiding behind Rarity. He felt the urge to hide behind Twilight.
“Hello darlings,” Rarity greeted them. “Hello again, Cliff Runner. Have you enjoyed your first day in Ponyville?”
“Yes,” Cliff lied. Lunch had been good, and he hadn't minded teaching the Princess, but he could just as happily forget the rest.
“I'm so glad to hear it.”
“Um, me too,” Fluttershy whispered from behind the unicorn.
“And how is my little Spikey-wikey?” She pinched the baby dragon's cheeks. “I heard that you stayed up all night and had to take a big nap to recover.”
Spike's face went red. “I'm fine. I was just a little tired.”
“Of course you were, dear.”
“Looks like we're all here 'cept for Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “We may as well get workin'.”
Cliff followed the others as they moved to the field. He felt a little jealous of the attention that Spike was giving Rarity, but he wasn't petty enough to let it get to him.
“Okay everypony.” Applejack pointed to a small pile of bags. “Take a bag an' just move down one uh the lines, plantin' a seed every ten steps. It's only a quarter of a mile long, so it shouldn't take much time with all of us.” She handed a bag to Cliff. “I sure do appreciate the help.”
Rarity paused to put on dirt-proof shoes, but the others started planting right away.
The work was easy enough. Cliff confirmed that he was doing it correctly, and then settled into a comfortable rhythm. Control of the mind and body had always been a major goal of his culture, and planting seeds wasn't really all that different than some of the exercises he had done for his entire life. He sank into the simple pleasures of life and movement, tuning all else out. Take ten steps. Dig a small hole. The scent of fresh dirt filled Cliff's nostrils. Drop one of the smooth apple seeds into the pit. Cover the seed. Take ten more steps. He focused on the steady in and out of his breathing, the dirt beneath his claws, and the gentle wind against his scales.
Breath in... Dig the hole... Breath out... Plant and cover the seed.
He reached the end of the field. Without a word, Cliff Runner moved to a new line and started working back the way he had come.
Take ten steps... Feel the earth beneath your claws... Plant the seed... Feel the wind against your scales.
Cliff reached the end again, and started on a new line.
“Hey, Cliff!” a voice called.
He reluctantly pulled himself out of his meditation.
Applejack was waving to him from the edge of the field. A blue pegasus with multicolored hair was hovering beside her. “This is Rainbow Dash, a good friend uh ours.”
The pegasus zoomed over to him. “So you're Spike's brother, huh? You look pretty tough.”
Two days ago, Cliff might have agreed that he was tough compared to a pony. Since then, however, he had witnessed the power of Princess Luna, and been completely overwhelmed by Fluttershy's Stare. “Not really.”
Rainbow Dash looked a little deflated. “Ah come on. I bet you're at least a good runner. After all, that is your name.”
“I am,” Cliff confirmed.
“Awesome!” The pegasus smiled slyly. “What say you and I have a little race after we finish off this field?”
“Deal.” Cliff smiled back. It was like talking to Fire Eyes back home.
“Sweet! AJ and I have been competing for years to see who's the best athlete. It'll be nice to have another contender.” She flew back to Applejack and grabbed a bag of seeds.
Since his concentration had been broken anyway, Cliff took a moment to survey the others. Spike and Rarity were working in the same line. Spike seemed to be digging holes for her, while she handled the seeds. Twilight was using a measuring stick to judge the distance between holes. She was noticeably behind the others. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were working two adjacent lines, talking as they went. None of them except Applejack had reached the third row yet.
“You sure ya weren't raised on a farm?” Applejack joked as she drew near. “Y'all are planting as fast as one uh us Apples.” She scooped out a small hole, dropped a seed into it, and covered it back up, almost without slowing.
“Thanks.” Cliff turned back to his row.
The orange mare chuckled. “Sumthin' tells me you an' Big Mac would get along real well.”
“Who?”
“Big McIntosh, my older brother. Real nice guy, but a mite quiet.”
Cliff couldn't tell if she was trying to pay him a compliment or not. “Maybe we would.” When Applejack didn't reply, he sank himself into his meditation once more.
-_-_-_-_-_-
With everypony, and two dragons, working together, it took just over an hour to finish. Cliff was glad to note that he had been one of the faster workers, but both Rainbow Dash and Applejack had managed to complete several more rows than him.
“Thank y'all so much for the help,” Applejack said. “It aint much, but we made some snacks for everypony.” She motioned to the farmhouse.
“That's great and all, AJ,” Rainbow Dash gave Cliff a competitive smile, “but first Cliff Runner and I are going to have a little race.”
“I'll judge!” Spike volunteered.
“Well I'm all up for a friendly competition,” Applejack said. “What say all three uh us race?”
Rainbow Dash seemed to love the idea. “I wouldn't have it any other way. Hey Cliff, since you're the newcomer, why don't you decide where we race to?”
Cliff Runner found himself smiling. “Okay.” These two had the competitive spirits of dragons, and he would be sure not to disappoint them. “...The tree on top of that hill,” he pointed to a spot roughly a half mile away. The trees along the way were fully grown, so they wouldn't have to worry about crushing saplings. “The first one to touch the tree and return here wins.”
“Works for me.” Rainbow Dash cracked her neck. “Let's do this.”
“Ready when y'all are.” Applejack pulled her hat down lower.
“Alright then.” Spike stepped up and drew a line in front of the three. “The first one cross this line on the way back wins. On your mark... Get set... GO!”
They all took off. Rainbow Dash pulled ahead early, but she was a sprinter, so that was to be expected. Applejack, on the other claw, set out at a determined gallop that she could probably maintain for the entire race. Cliff was somewhere in between. Dragons didn't have the kind of stamina that earth ponies did, and so he couldn't hope to compete against Applejack in the long haul. However, he knew that pegasi couldn't fly as far as drakes without resting. If his guess was right, that meant Rainbow Dash would have even less stamina than he did.
The gamble seemed to be paying off. When they reached the base of the hill, Rainbow Dash was moving noticeably slower than Cliff, but he could hear Applejack starting to catch up. Unfortunately for her, he had been born and raised in the mountains. He charged up the hill with the kind of surefooted stride that only came with years of practice, passing Rainbow Dash just before she reached the tree. He jumped into the air, flipping around so that he could kick off of it, and shot back the way he had come. Landing halfway down the hill, Cliff rolled to kill his extra momentum, and then kept running. He could hear two sets of breaths alarmingly close behind him. “Rats,” Cliff breathed. He had hoped that his trick would give him a bigger lead.
Back on level ground, the young dragon pushed himself even harder. His limbs were starting to voice their complaints rather energetically, but he tuned the aches out and kept running.
“Nice jump back there, partner,” Applejack smiled as she came alongside him.
Cliff couldn't believe that she could still talk without gasping. He locked his eyes on the finish line and gave one last burst of speed. It actually pushed him to the lead for a moment, but his stamina was waning, and Applejack crept ahead.
All three racers crossed the finish line within a second of each other. Applejack took first place with an enthusiastic “Yeehaw!” Cliff's snout passed the finish line at the same time as her back legs, a determined smile across his lips. Rainbow Dash came in third, so close behind Cliff that it sounded like she was breathing in his ear.
“Whoa, that was awesome,” Spike exclaimed. “I can't believe how close it was!”
The others all congratulated the runners, especially Applejack.
“I can't believe I lost,” Rainbow Dash moaned. “I never lose.” Her entire body sagged with dejection.
“It seems to me that somepony hasn't been exercisin' her legs near as much as her wings lately,” Applejack said unsympathetically. “Great race there, Cliff.”
Cliff took a moment to calm his breathing. “You too, Applejack.” He turned to the distraught pegasus. “Maybe we can train together and beat her next time.”
That thought seemed to restore Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, that's a great idea!” Her confidant smile returned. “Don't get too comfortable AJ, because Cliff and I are going to cream you next time!”
-_-_-_-_-_-
The group moved into the Apple family's modest but comfortable front room. A couch sat opposite an unlit fireplace. There was a window on either side of the fireplace, and the far wall held a bookshelf and a small table, which was covered in apple related treats. While he wouldn't want to make a meal from it, Cliff did enjoy a slice of apple pie from time to time. The fritters were also quite good.
He was introduced to an elderly green pony, Applejack's grandmother, and was relieved that she didn't seem at all worried by him. “If yer a friend uh Twilight's,” she told him in a reedy voice, “then yer a friend uh the Apples.”
Cliff Runner couldn't think of how to respond, so he just nodded.
Both Applejack and Rainbow Dash wanted to know about how Cliff had managed that jump off the tree. The concept was simple, and Cliff was happy to explain it, but he warned them both that it would take a lot of practice to pull off correctly. Neither seemed discouraged though. In fact, Rainbow Dash looked even more excited to try it out.
Spike made his way over once the other two had left. “Hey Cliff, want me to get you anything?”
“I'm fine,” Cliff assured his brother. “How are you holding up from all that work?”
“Ah, it wasn't that hard.” Spike turned to look at Rarity. “Besides, I got to spend time with the most beautiful mare in the world.”
He placed his claws on the younger dragon's shoulder. “Go spend some more time with her,” Cliff whispered encouragingly.
Spike hesitated. “But Cliff, what about you?”
“Dragons live for centuries. Ponies don't. Now go to her.” He gave his brother a gentle push.
“Uh, okay Cliff, if you're sure.” Spike gave him a nervous smile, and then walked towards the white unicorn.
“Cliff...” the Princess's voice reached him.
He looked to his left to see the alicorn and Fluttershy approaching. “Yes, Princess?”
“I heard what you said to Spike. That was very noble of you.”
Cliff Runner looked to where Spike and Rarity were talking. “I just want-”
A sound like thunder cut him off.
“What was that?!” Cliff ran to the window, along with everypony else. The field they had finished planting just minutes ago was covered with fully grown apple trees. “What in the...?”
“Aren't zap apple seeds amazing?” Pinkie Pie giggled. “I love that 'KER-POW, BOOM' they make when they grow into trees!”
“You knew they would do that?” Cliff tried to wrap his head around it. He had never heard of seeds that could turn into trees so quickly.
“Yes siree,” Applejack confirmed. “We've been plantin' our fields with zap apple seeds 'round here for generations.”
“Amazing,” was all Cliff could think to say.
“I know, right?” Pinkie Pie licked her lips. “And each year when the zap apples come, they turn them into the most delicious jams and pies!”
“Well tha's still a ways off, Pinkie,” Applejack chuckled. “'Till then, you'll just hafta make due with these regular apple pies.”
“Okay.” The pink pony dove for the table, where she immediately devoured one of the pies.
“Um, Cliff Runner?” Fluttershy said. Somehow she was still behind Twilight. “I can get you a piece of pie, if you want, that is.”
Well that came out of nowhere. “No thanks, I'm fine.”
“Are you sure?” She ducked even lower behind the Princess. “I could get an apple tart instead, or a candied apple, or-”
“It's really fine.” He shifted away slightly. Why won't she leave me alone?
“Oh.” She paused for so long that Cliff nearly took his chance and walked away. “You must be thirsty after all that work. I could get you a drink.”
He gave a pleading look to the alicorn princess.
“Just let her get you something,” Twilight whispered.
Cliff sighed. “You could get some apple juice, if you want.”
“Oh yes. Thank you! I'll be right back.” The yellow pegasus practically ran to the kitchen where the drinks were stored.
“What's going on?” Cliff asked the Princess.
“I think Fluttershy still feels bad for using The Stare on you.” The alicorn looked after her retreating friend. “Maybe I should go talk to her.” She headed for the kitchen as well.
Cliff watched the Princess depart. Whatever was going on with the yellow mare, he hoped Twilight could talk some sense into her.
Fluttershy returned a few moments later. “Here's your drink Cliff Runner.” She held out a glass of juice.
“Thank you.” Cliff took it, and tried not to notice that she was watching him drink.
“I... Uh,” the pegasus sank further behind her long mane. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
“No thanks.”
“Really, I... I don't mind.”
Cliff fought the urge to growl in frustration. “I'm fine.”
“There has to be something.”
She wasn't getting it. “Just leave me alone, please,” Cliff said as gently as he could, and then he walked away.
A soft whimper from behind made Cliff stop. I didn't mean to make her cry. With a deep sigh, he turned back, and found that Fluttershy was gone.
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Your judgement of Cliff is ridiculously far-fetched, author. If anything, someone should remark that it's Fluttershy who is being unusually clingy. This is a three-dimensional situation, any shallow judgments are completely void.
Well, his first meeting with Fluttershy was definitely traumatic. Of course, Fluttershy, being the kind mare that she is, desperately wants to make things up to him. It must be as bizarre as it is saddening for her to find something that's afraid of her in the same way that she's often afraid of other things.
Looks like you need Dark tag here.
4444366
Not really. It looks like that practice in the context of this fic is both rare and rarely referenced. It is just used as a framing for the main character's initial impressions of ponies.
I don't think you've shown Spike eating any gems around Cliff yet or his baking them into other food
4442286
4444682
Thanks for clearing that up....it clarifies a bunch of things from chapter 1. I still have a nagging feeling that his actual age will come into play at some point, but I know that is well into the future, so I like that it focuses on their reunion. I Love stories that show that Spike isn't all alone in the world.
Prediction;
Rarity will take Spike and Cliff gem hunting and Cliff will see why Rarity is so appealing to Spike and then love triangle
Great premise, loving how you characterised Cliff. I think Fluttershy may have overreacted a bit at the end there, though.
I'm loving the story. Just one question...when are they going hunting!
We all know that meat can't be beat, and Spike probably needs to eat some or risk stunted development anyway. Ponies will be squeamish, but that's the best part!
4444888
+
+ Spike's brother =
Nope
Beat that shippingnews.oceanhub.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/ocean-shipping.jpg
4444366
Actually, that's more because dragons are as clueless about ponies as ponies are about dragons. Cliff honestly thinks they're violent by nature, even though he's totally wrong. Hmmm... Can you suggest any ways that I could reword things to make that more clear?
4444912
. Thanks for not hating me for the mess up.
True. The problem is, I'm really not sure how Fluttershy would react in this situation. I did my best to keep her in character, but I'll be the first to admit that it wasn't perfect
4444908
Good point. I can't believe I forgot about that! I'll see what I can do about revising it.
4445233 Meh, it's not really a problem. I think you did pretty well for your first time writing something that you've published tbh. At the end it seemed like she liked him a bit, though I'm not sure if that was intentional.
Also, congrats on getting featured.
4445215
To make things clearer you could add a sentence such as; "That is what all the other dragons say so it must be true, right?"
I've gotta say the way Cliff interacts with the ponies is a little different then what I expected based on the stories summery.
There is some hints to it, like how he noticed Spike sleeps in whats basically a pets bed and so on so I'm guessing its being built up slowly and he's being a little timid because of his opinions and the run in with the princesses.
But this should be good.
4444238
I'm going to sound stupid for asking this, but how is my judgement of Cliff far-fetched? I honestly don't know, and I'd like to try and fix whatever I screwed up, if possible. As for Fluttershy's behavior, in the next chapter, Rarity will reveal that she encouraged Flutters to be extra attentive as a way of making up for their rocky first meeting.
4445249
Perfect!
4445261 This paragraph of your AN:
You're implying that he made Fluttershy cry out of being blunt and that it's under all circumstances something to burn characters at the stake for, when he actually was extremely reasonable and tactful even by pony standards and she was being ridiculously clingy and not taking a non-outright 'no' for an answer. That's what I meant.
More like it was your judgment of our reaction to him that was far-fetched, but same difference.
An interesting idea with a good sense for branching out beyond it. Most writers I see make the mistake of either focusing too much on the original idea or throwing it out completely after the scene is established. You've found a good middle ground to travel on. This isn't an easy thing to pull off.
Cliff Runner is a decent overall character. He prefers staying quiet when he can but is completely blunt when he does need to speak up. I find it odd that my favorite Original Characters recently have followed this pattern, but I'm not complaining.
I'm honestly surprised that nopony down here has started screaming at Cliff for making Fluttershy start crying, but I'm also not going to be the one to start it. I will say that if he doesn't help calm her down in the near future, he's going straight to Tartarus on the shockwaves of the yelling from any Fluttershy fans who catch wind of this. All I can say is that he should either get working on that immediately or pray that Discord is in a forgiving mood today.
I look forward to further installments. I'll just sit in this corner here and polish my camera for the inevitable Discord rage that's sure to happen when he hears about this little incident.
4444908
Okay, here's the revised version:
“Yes, it's called the Crystal Empire. Princess Celestia gave it to her to rule after she helped save it from King Sombra.”
Cliff had no idea who King Sombra was, and decided that it probably didn't matter.
“Spike helped a lot too,” the alicorn smiled, “but I think he'd rather tell you that story himself. Anyway, why did you ask about spells?”
What do you think?
4445283
Ah, thanks for explaining it to me. So what are your thoughts? Should I change the author's note, dial down Fluttershy's clingyness (let's pretend that's a word), or make Cliff a bit more of a jerk? I'm hoping to make it feel like no one was specifically at fault, but rather it was just a clash of circumstances and personality types.
4445314 Change the AN. Cliff is lovable exactly because of his tranquil disposition as the exchange displays, and such an urge to "pet the dog" is in-character for Fluttershy.
This is pretty good. A few rough corners and places that could use a little more work, but you are doing pretty good. Cliff is a pretty good OC, relatively likable, despite his serious prejudice and the personality traits that comes from a different culture. That is pretty good for rounding him out as a character.
Think the race was too simple. In my mind, AJ and Rainbow are so different in what their specific strengths that they need something that challenges both endurance and speed to a greater degree than a mile race, which, for athletes (or in AJ's case, mare in her top form) shouldn't be a problem and which should blatantly favor the sprinter. 'Cause Rainbow is a performer first, then a sprinter, and no air show is a hundred meter race, they would be more like long races, but not marathons. It always bugs me when Rainbow has to run instead of fly just to give AJ a chance. Because if she had used her wings, that race would have taken very, very little time. And I don't really care who wins the contest, AJ and Rainbow are about equal on my list of best ponies (and not even near the top) but I want a contest that makes sense and lets everyone use their strengths and that kinda requires a longer, harder contest.
Also, I kinda want to see Cliff be completely dumbfounded by a Rainboom.
Still, you have my interest. Have a like.
Happy writing.
4444844 a growth spell just enlarges an item or being, meaning he would look exactly the same as a baby, but would be the size of the castle. instead, it physically matured him, but not mentally is all
I have to say
at your thoughts......but it is expected. Spike never saw other dragons until the migration, and after that probably assosciated dragons with fear, greed, and other negative thoughts.
Cliff, older or younger, you have a lot of work to do.....
I am intrigued. I will have to give this a read very soon.
Hhm. About you're theory...explain Spike falling down from the top of a stadium!
No offense, but unless baby dragons have thicker scales that protect them as young ones? And then shed 'em later? Just wondering...
4445647
Good point. I guess all I can do is claim that he pulled a Pinkie Pie there, since I'd like to hang onto the whole "dragons are weak against bludgeoning damage" thing. Maybe we can pretend that he cast a protection spell without realizing it, or something. It's a stretch, but blame the D&D nerd in me. Everything has to be power balanced. Well, except for alicorns, but that's an added template with level adjustment. (In other news, I obviously have no life.)
You've got a bit of homophone trouble:
- mite
4444154
I meant it to be funny. I'm not trying to be a jerk.
4445938
Thanks, I'll go fix that.
4446188
I know. I actually laughed when I first saw your comment.
4446201 Two seem to disagree
Anyway, good luck with your story! I recommend finding some snazzy coverart to go with this, but that's ultimately up to you! Not like the story needs it at this rate!
4446085
I really don't know. Sure, I was hoping for this, but I really wasn't expecting it. If I had to blame something, I'd say eight years of writing D&D campaigns, writing a rough draft of the entire story, (which I'll change as needed, by the way), before I started posting it, and getting over myself enough to listen to your feedback. I don't actually have an editor/proofreader at this point, so I owe you guys big time for all the help!
4446393
I do agree with you, the ponies deal with carnivorous creatures quit a bit.
4446213
all at once.
I'm actually hoping someone takes pity on me and does some art I can use for the cover. I have all the artistic talent of a mollusk myself, so yeah. If I posted any of my own art, everyone would
4446533
Good point. What do you guys think, should I stress that ponies are more okay with eating fish than other types of meat, or tone down Twilight's reaction?
4446838
Not sure if I can do much about the setting, considering that would be one of the first things Spike would want to know. However, a more emotional description of their parents is definitely a good idea. I guess I was afraid of bogging everything down in an exposition dump, and tried to rush through it.
4446554
Hm... there's plenty of artists on fimfic if you know where to look. Here's an example of what a friend of mine did. If you want, I could ask an artist friend (who likes drawing dragons) and hook you up. What kind of art would you use, given the choice?
4446882
Having fish as a source of Meat for carnivorous creatures is a very Viable and sustainable Idea. It is proably one of the very few Meats ponies wouldn't be Absolutly horrified that somthing was eating.
Fish are a good source of food and most carnivores can easly survive on a diet of fish.
4446914
If anyone wants to draw something, I'd be thrilled. Someone asked about it a few minutes ago, and this was my response:
If I get multiple people sending in art, I'll probably cycle through them as a way of saying thanks to all the artists. Assuming you're okay with that, I'd be happy with just about any kind of picture. What I had in mind was the scene where Twilight first opens the door and meets Cliff, probably with him seen from behind. However, I only came up with that because I figured I could slap it together in Paint, using pictures I found online. In other words, I'm sure there are better scenes for cover art, and don't want you to reign in your imagination because I'm feeling brain dead at the moment. Whatever you decide, I want to say thanks for being interested enough to ask in the first place!
4446882
even in Equestria (where everything can talk) fish are definitely positively NOT Sentient.
heck even Fluttershy's chickens have names and personalities ...
The bond Cliff and Spike share is heartwarming.
… I like this… FOLLOWING!
Okay, first things first: do not explain story context in the Authors Notes! You already hinted that Flutters was acting out of guilt for using the Stare on him. If you wanted to confirm this, you could've had Twi mention that she heard Rarity suggest acting extra nice towards Cliff to make up for it. That would've been fine. On a side note, if this is going to have a Flutters/OC side-ship, you're not being very subtle about it.
Also, that race was just screaming 'FILLER', and explaining why the race turned out like it did just seemed pointless. Unless this race plays a major role in the story later, you could've taken it out entirely, and just have everypony/dragon be tired from working in the field. Another side note: I'm fairly sure farmers measure their field(s) in acres, not miles, which is a different measuring system.
I like the relationship you're building between Cliff and Spike. Though, I feel you should make Cliff a bit more apprehensive about Spike's crush on Rarity. Cliff seems to still have the mindset of ponies being evil after all,which, btw, would likely take more than a few days for him to get over. He grew up with hearing stories about how 'evil' ponies were, killing dragons unprovoked and stealing their eggs, and whatnot. Those stories would've left lasting impressions on him as a child, and although he's surprised to find that the ponies he's with so far have been pleasant, he still believes it was ponies that eggnapped Spike to begin with. For all Cliff coukd know, the princesses could've told him an elaborate lie, when it could've been Celestia that purchased Spike as an egg, and gave him to Twilight as a 'pet' (that line of thinking could make sense, given his thoughts on Spike's bedding condition).
Also, the remark about Fire Eyes should've been in italics, since the way you have it now implies she's a character the readers should know as well as the Mane 6
As far as fish ... didn't Fluttershy once deliver a few to a family of critters? Fish should be fine, although I will admit other ponies might feel awkward about watching them get eaten, or think of eating them. (Personal headcanon? Why, sure. Ponies CAN eat meat, but social taboos push heavily against it. Eggs are fine.)
Cliff seems allright, although part of me expects him to be a little jumpier. About the best analogy I can think of is to take an average American and drop him/her into downtown Tehran. (Or maybe an average North Korean and drop him/her into downtown Los Angeles?)
The race was more determined by Cliff, so I can understand any balance issues there; I'll go ahead and accept the 'work those legs, Rainbow' explanation for her finish, too.
Still, I'm wondering when the sparks will start flying. Also wondering what might happen if Twilight starts trying to blend unicorn, alicorn, and dragon magic.
This fic is so good, I can't wait for the next chapter :D
4447299
Fixed what Rarity said. Still working on a good explanation of Cliff's parents. Frankly, I didn't develop them nearly as well as I should have, and I'm paying for that now.
4447710 Just saw the change. Much better.
If you need any advice with your dragon characters, feel free to PM me. I'm working on a dragon story myself, and I might be able to help.