Chapter 18
Twilight and the others were the last to get off the train, of course. If Cliff had had more energy, he might have shouted in frustration. The worry on her face when she saw them helped wash away his unkind thoughts though.
Her concern wasn't surprising. He and Fire Eyes were exhausted, bruised, and struggling just to stay on their feet, Fluttershy was streaked in soot intermixed with charred fur and feathers, and his grandmother was looking more embarrassed than he had seen her since... ever.
Rainbow Dash was definitely the worst of them. She was sweating badly as she held her stomach, and her scorch marks were far worse than Fluttershys'. Most disturbing of all, however, were the leathery wings on her back, blue scales around her mouth, and the sharp fangs that had replaced her normal teeth.
“Oh my goodness!” Twilight's jaw dropped.
Rarity pressed a hoof to her mouth. “What in Equestria happened to you all?”
Spike sighed. “I can't say I'm surprised.”
“You were expecting something like this?” Burning Torch asked.
“When you're around Twilight, stuff like this is normal,” he whispered back.
“I asked Fire Claws to use her magic to let me breath fire again,” Rainbow explained between fiery hiccups.
“Rainbow,” Twilight exclaimed. “Dragons use their natural magic to produce fire! She couldn't let you do that without taking away from your natural pegasus magic!” She ran to her weakened friend and began inspecting her.
“Actually,” Fire Claws said, “I'm afraid it's worse than that. I tried to add fire breathing and heat immunity to her natural magic field. We were able to compensate for the drain on her life-force, but it started affecting her body in ways we hadn't predicted.”
“That's to be expected,” Twilight said quietly. “When you alter the body's magic field, you alter the body along with it.” Her horn began to glow. The light of her magic surrounded Rainbow Dash, slowly returning her to normal.
Rainbow nearly collapsed in relief. “Oh, that feels tons better.” She smiled weakly. “Thanks, Twilight.”
The purple alicorn gave her friend a hug. “I'm glad you feel better, but something still feels off about your life-force. I'll need to do a more thorough checkup back at the palace.” She turned to the others. “Did anything else happen while we were gone?”
Rainbow chuckled uneasily. “Actually, I kinda almost burned down Ponyville.”
“Another failed part of the spell, I'm afraid,” Fire Eyes explained. “I tried to increase her body's magical output to compensate for the extra abilities, but it worked a little too well and she lost control of herself.”
Twilight gasped. “Of course it did! Rainbow Dash has one of the most powerful magic fields I've ever seen.” She shook her head. “Never mind that. Do you have any idea what altering her magic field could have done to her?”
“What it did to her,” Fire Eyes corrected. “Don't worry, the three of us shared the cost.” She gestured at herself, Cliff, and Fire Claws.
“You could have waited,” Burning Torch said. “I would have been glad to provide a few years as well.”
“Wait, what are you all saying?” Twilight asked.
Spike and the other ponies all looked equally confused.
“A life-force transfer spell,” Cliff explained, wishing he had enough willpower to heal his growing headache. “We knew increasing her body's magical output would make her age faster, so we increased her lifespan to make up for it. Each of us gave up twenty-five years. With the transfer loss, she gained about seventy.”
Shocked silence greeted them.
“...You what?” Rainbow whispered, sinking to the ground. “I mean, I-I didn't want you to do something like that! I just thought breathing fire again would be cool, you know?” Tears started to appear in her eyes. “It wasn't worth you all dying sooner!”
Cliff started massaging one of his temples. “Could somedragon else explain it to her?”
“I would be happy to.” Burning Torch knelt beside the distraught pegasus. He gently lifted her face to look at him. “Firstly, don't feel guilty, Rainbow Dash. This sort of thing is fairly common among wyrms. You see, we might have a potential lifespan of about twelve hundred years, but its very rare for one of us to reach that age. Between accidents, illnesses, wars, monsters, starvation, and going berserk, an average wyrm only lives to be about seven hundred. Therefore, we've developed especially powerful spells that come at the cost of draining a small portion from the caster's life. Life-force Transfer is the most basic of them, and a stepping stone to the others. True, this branch of magic must be approached with discretion, but we rarely use those extra five hundred years anyway, so giving up a few years here and there will really have no impact on a wyrm's life.”
Rainbow swallowed and gave a very slow nod. “Okay... If you're sure... but what's going to happen to me now?”
“I imagine you'll live about seventy years longer than normal for a pegasus,” the older dragon said with a smile. “Unless you give those years to somepony else, of course, or if we give you an ability that would burn them off during the course of your normal lifespan.”
Spike didn't seem to hear any of this. In fact, he seemed frozen, staring at Cliff like he had never seen him before. “Why didn't you ever tell me about this?!” he yelled suddenly. “Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep because I was going to outlive everypony I ever cared about? And this whole time you knew a way that a pony could live as long as a dragon?!”
Cliff winced at the volume as all eyes turned to Spike and himself. “I'm sorry. I was going to tell you about it when you got married.”
“”Well what about Twilight?” the younger dragon demanded. “Didn't you think that I'd want my sister in another century?!”
The Stillness pushed aside Cliff's rising temper and helped him ignore his throbbing head. “If she wants it, I'll give her two centuries myself. If we asked the rest of the Redstone Coven, we could easily get her past one thousand. However, we've been up all night putting out fires and healing the injured from our failed experiment, and there are still more than a dozen houses that need to be rebuilt. Can we please discuss this after the work is done and we've all had a chance to rest?”
Spike visibly had to fight to reign in his emotions. “Okay.”
“A-anyway,” Twilight said, “you can tell us all exactly what happened later. If the town still needs help, then we should get to that.” She paused before adding, “Also, maybe we shouldn't tell other ponies about this life-force transfer magic. Who knows how the town might react if they heard about it?”
One by one, the group nodded.
Twilight turned to the group that had stayed in Ponyville. “We can do the examination later, Rainbow. You all go home and get some sleep. You must be exhausted.”
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash nodded and left together, but the three dragons remained in place.
“This was our mistake, Princess Twilight,” Fire Claws said. “We owe it to Ponyville to keep working until the damage has been repaired.”
Twilight shook her head. “Mistakes happen, Fire Claws. Nopony here will fault you for that, not after all the times my magic has caused problems. Besides, no offense, but it looks like all three of you are ready to collapse where you're standing.”
“So long as it doesn't require willpower, I'll be fine,” Fire Eyes said.
Cliff nodded.
“We're going to keep working,” Fire Claws repeated. “Come on, the Mayor wants to see you as soon as possible.”
“You're all as stubborn as Applejack,” Twilight muttered, but she followed after them.
The damage around town was pretty bad. It seemed like every other building had at least one hole through it, and there were scorch marks everywhere. Thankfully, all of the fires had been put out, and teams of ponies were working on patching up the walls.
Spike came alongside his brother as they walked. “Hey, Cliff?” he whispered. “I'm sorry I got so angry. I didn't realize that things were this bad.”
Cliff didn't really want to think about how the town had gotten into this state. “Apology accepted,” he muttered back.
“Does anypony know how my shop fared?” Rarity asked nervously.
“She broke a door and a window,” Fire Eyes replied, “and the walls are a bit burnt, but we managed to save most everything on the inside.”
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief.
Town Hall was miraculously unharmed, and had been converted into both a repair HQ, and a shelter for the ponies whose homes had been damaged. Only a few ponies were there at the moment. The rest were hard at work.
The Mayor looked up with a relieved smile when they walked into her office. “Oh good, you're back, Princess Twilight. We could certainly use your help organizing the repair crews.”
“We'll get back to hauling away burnt wood,” Fire Claws said as she, Cliff, and Fire Eyes trudged back outside.
“Thank you!” the Mayor called after them.
-_-_-_-_-_-
The work was fairly mindless, which suited Cliff. He had used up too much willpower to think clearly.
Load anything that was charred into the wagon until it was full. Haul the wagon out to the dump. Empty it. Haul the wagon back. Repeat.
Somewhere in the back of his head, Cliff wondered how much money the hardware store owner would make off all the lumber, nails, drywall, and windows that would be required to fix everything. At least they had enough bits leftover from Spike and Rarity's fund-raising to cover all the damage... probably.
After several loads, a group of ponies brought them each a grass sandwich and an apple for lunch.
Cliff exchanged a grim look with the others as they ate the apples and then gagged down the sandwiches. They got back to work as soon as they washed the taste out of their mouths.
Every now and then, Cliff would spot a pony he recognized among the other workers. Applejack was putting her carpentry skills to work fixing all the holes in the buildings. Big Mac was hauling repair supplies to the carpenters. Twilight apparently knew a spell that undid destruction. At least, that's what it looked like. Pieces of debris would fly back to their original location and somehow transform back into complete walls, windows, and even entire houses. Once again, he could only stare in wonder at the power of an alicorn.
A few loads after lunch, Cliff was knocked to the ground by a Crusader tackle/hug.
“Heya, Cliff!” Scootaloo grinned. “How's the repair work going?”
He managed a smile. “They tell me we'll be done by dinnertime. How was school?”
“It was great!” Sweetie said. “Diamond Tiara tried to bully River, but we just made her look silly.”
The baby dragoness herself was busy talking to Fire Eyes, so Cliff had to ask Sweetie Belle for the details.
“Well at recess Diamond Tiara was talking bad about dragons, but we just ignored her until she started getting really mean, and then we talked to Miss Cheerilee, like you told us to, and she made Diamond Tiara take a note home to her parents!”
“I hope they ground her for, like, ever.” Scootaloo grinned.
Apple Bloom nodded. “She'd sure deserve it.”
Cliff gathered them in a hug. “Good job. I'm proud of you three.”
The Crusaders were off again as soon as River finished talking to her sister. They said something about getting cutie-marks and a name in building repair.
Cliff waved goodbye before returning to the work.
Eventually, there was nothing more that needed to be hauled away, and they returned to town hall for their next assignment.
Twilight ran into the trio of dragons as soon as they walked inside. “Oh, there you are.” She smiled. “Good news, we're done! The last of the work crews are finishing up as we speak.” She nodded to the door. “Come on, let me buy you dinner. You all look like you could use a break.”
The dragons were too tired to do anything but follow after her. As they walked, Cliff realized that most of the damage really had been repaired. The few remaining crews all waved or called greetings as they passed. He awkwardly returned the gestures.
Twilight led them to a fancy restaurant, where a waiter rushed to get them a table.
“Strange,” Fire Claws said after the pony left. “He's thrilled to have you here, Princess Twilight, but he's also frightened.” Cliff really didn't know how she still had the willpower to maintain her emotion-sensing spell after everything that had happened.
“I don't understand it myself,” Twilight admitted, “but some ponies just act like that now that I'm a princess. Anyway, since we're all here anyway, maybe you can tell me the details of what happened with Rainbow Dash?” She gestured out at the town. “Like how she caused so much damage.”
“That was my fault,” Fire Claws said, staring down at the table. “I'm familiar with the theory, but I'd never done magic exactly like what she wanted before. It seems I set her magic output too high, and her body went out of control.” The dragoness sighed. “Rainbow couldn't control where she was flying, or how fast, and she couldn't stop breathing fire.”
“Also, she was going at nearly mach speeds,” Fire Eyes added, “and was strong enough to lift all three of us off the ground. We chased her for over an hour before Cliff suggested having that yellow pegasus hold her in place with her weird stare magic. Once she did, we were able to latch onto Rainbow and return her magic output to normal.” She pointed to the window. “You've already seen what happened to Ponyville during that time. We spent the rest of the night putting out fires, healing the wounded, and repairing the damage as best we could.”
Twilight nodded thoughtfully. “Well, the good news is that everything is back to normal now. Most ponies assumed that Dash's transformation was a leftover from Discord's party, and I didn't see the need to correct them.” She smiled a little mischievously. “That means nopony is blaming you for what happened.”
“Even though it was our fault,” Fire Claws pointed out.
“It was an accident,” Twilight said. “Princess Celestia once told me that anypony who admits their mistakes and tries to make up for them deserves to be completely forgiven.”
The waiter returned for their orders; a salad and three plates of quiche.
“Speaking of Princess Celestia,” Fire Claws said, “she must have trained you extremely well. You were able to fix Rainbow Dash so easily.”
“Celestia is a pretty amazing teacher,” Twilight admitted, “but I've also spent a lot of time practicing transformation magic.”
“There has to be more to it than training or practice,” Fire Eyes said. “Life-force transformation is a tier eight dragon spell. All three of us had to link to work up enough willpower to use it.”
Twilight thought for a moment. “Well... I haven't gotten very far in my comparative study of unicorn and dragon magic, but it's obvious that they both have their specialties. Maybe transformation magic is just one of the things that unicorns can do more easily.” She shrugged. “I'm sure most unicorns would give that up in a heartbeat for your protective spells or healing magic.”
Cliff was only half listening to their conversation. Like the others, he was embarrassed at how many problems the coven had caused on its first full day in Ponyville, but a different conversation with Fluttershy occupied his thoughts just as much. Grandmother had suggested being more open about his wants, and... following her advice hadn't worked out so well.
-_-_-_-_-_-
After dinner, Cliff was happy to return to the palace and collapse. He chose it over the Dragon House just by virtue of it being closer. Using nearly all of his willpower twice and staying up all night had been bad enough, but smashing through buildings while trying to wrangle an out of control pegasus for an hour had left him with a grand total of three spots that didn't ache.
Rainbow Dash was waiting for him and Twilight in the entry hall. Amazingly, she didn't look any worse for the wear. “Hey guys.” Her wings fluttered uncomfortably. “I see you got Ponyville all fixed up.”
Cliff grunted something indecipherable, and walked past her.
“Cliff, wait.”
He stopped and turned back to the pegasus.
“I'm sorry. If I'd known you guys were going to keep working, I would have stayed and helped.”
Ignoring the siren song of his bed, Cliff walked back and patted her on the shoulder. “Nodragon blames you for what happened, Rainbow, and you needed the rest.”
She smiled faintly. “Thanks, but I'm still gonna make it up to you.” She glanced at Twilight before leaning in and whispering, “but first I need to know what happened between you and Fluttershy.”
Cliff made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a groan. “We can talk upstairs.”
“Is this something I should be worried about?” Twilight asked.
“Not really,” Cliff assured her. “Just me being an idiot, like usual.”
“Okay.” She looked back and forth between them and then shrugged. “Just let me grab my book out of the living room, and then I'll leave you two to your scheming.”
Spike was already upstairs, skimming through a book about the Crystal Empire. “Hey guys. How are you feeling, Rainbow Dash?”
She shrugged. “Better, thanks to Twilight.”
“Anyway,” Cliff said, “Rainbow and I need to talk about something in the kitchen.”
Spike raised an eyebrow. “Uh, okay, Cliff. I actually need to talk to you and Twilight about something too, when you're finished.”
The door to the guest bedroom sat mockingly in front of him. Cliff turned away from it with a sigh. “Okay, just give me a minute.” He led Rainbow into the kitchen. “How much do you know already?”
“Not much. Fluttershy let me take a nap at her cottage, but she got really embarrassed when I tried to ask her about how things were going with you, even though it was totally obvious that something happened last night.”
Cliff sighed. “Feel free to smack me for this.”
Rainbow nodded solemnly. “What happened?”
“After Fluttershy helped us restrain you and return your magical output to normal, I... tried to kiss her.”
A soft chuckle escaped the blue mare. “Seriously, that's it?”
“Well, yeah.”
She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, I can't believe you two are freaking out so much over your first kiss.”
“We didn't kiss,” Cliff said. “She kind of panicked a little when I leaned forward, so I stopped.”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Okay, well, Fluttershy is probably really worried that she upset you right now, so just go talk to her, tell her you're sorry, and things will be back to normal in no time.”
He could almost hear his bed laughing at him from the other room. “Okay... I'll do it.” Cliff tried to ignore the pounding in his head. “How long do you think I should wait before I try to kiss her again?” Twilight's presentation had said that it would be fairly normal after dating for a week.
“Knowing Fluttershy? A few months.” Rainbow shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, Cliff, I'm rooting for ya.”
After thanking her, Cliff walked his friend to the door. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
She nodded. “You too.”
Spike and Twilight were waiting for him upstairs.
“Okay,” he took a seat beside his brother, “what's up?”
The younger dragon looked between his two siblings. “I kind of need your advice for a relationship problem.”
Ironic, Cliff reflected, given his current situation.
“Did something happen with Rarity?” Twilight asked.
“Not exactly.” Spike fidgeted. “Somepony actually asked me out... and I kinda said yes.”
Twilight actually looked excited at the announcement. “Congratulations, Spike! Was it that crystal mare you were talking to at the ball?”
Spike nodded.
“...I'm sorry,” Cliff said, “but I don't see the problem.” Maybe it was because dragons didn't go on dates in the same way that ponies did.
Spike thought for a moment before explaining. “I know Rarity and I aren't dating or anything. I'm not even sure if she likes me that way, but I still feel guilty for saying yes to somepony else.”
“You shouldn't feel guilty,” Twilight said. “All of my books say that dating several different ponies will help you understand and appreciate your special somepony more once you get into a dedicated relationship.”
“Okay, so you wouldn't think its weird if she comes and visits me in Ponyville on Wednesday?”
Twilight shook her head. “Not at all. Although it wouldn't be very polite if you always forced her to come here. You should return the favor and visit her in Canterlot from time to time.”
Spike smiled. “Okay, thanks, Twilight.”
Cliff tousled his brother's head spikes. “I'm sure you'll be fine. Was there anything else you needed help with?”
“No, but thanks, Cliff.”
The older dragon slowly pried himself off the couch. “Well then, I'm going out for a bit. I'll see you both later.” He swore he could hear his bed laughing at him as he walked away.
-_-_-_-_-_-
The walk to Fluttershy's cottage was a blur. Cliff had taken the path often enough that he didn't need to pay much attention to it. Eventually he was standing at her front door, without really knowing or caring about the specifics of how he had gotten there.
He knocked.
…
…
…
“Fluttershy?” Cliff knocked again.
…
…
“Fluttershy, it's Cliff.”
…
“Is anydrag- anypony in there?”
…
“Fluttershy, if you're listening, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for scaring you.”
The door opened.
Angel, Cliff groaned inwardly. He had reached something of a cease-fire with the rabbit because of their mutual interest in keeping Fluttershy happy, but he still thought that the fuzzball would make a better meal than a pet.
Angel, for his part, spent a lot of time glaring daggers at the young dragon, or trying to slip grass into his food. Cliff regretted ever mentioning in the rabbit's presence that he hated grass.
The two of them stared at each other in silence for a few moments.
“...Look,” Cliff said, “you probably know this, but Fluttershy is upset because of me, and we both know that an apology will make her feel much better. So can you please let me talk to her? I'll get out of your fur as soon as I tell her I'm sorry.”
The white rabbit seemed to debate this for a moment before he shook his head and slammed the door.
“Oh come on, Angel,” Cliff growled. “Can't you see that I'm trying to cheer her up?”
Angel appeared in the window. He jabbed a paw at Cliff, pantomimed crying, and then jerked his paw in the general direction of the stairs. The whole display was capped off with an accusing glare.
She's upstairs crying, because of me, the dragon translated. He forced down a flood of guilt at the thought. Fluttershy had seemed shocked and uncomfortable, sure, but he hadn't realized that he had affected her that badly. “That's why I'm trying to apologize. Let me in, please.”
Head shake.
Giving up on the rabbit, Cliff called up to the bedroom window. “Fluttershy, can you hear me?”
…
His head was starting to pound again. “It's okay if you don't want to talk. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry, and that I hope this won't change things between us. I still care about you, and it's okay if you aren't comfortable with kissing yet. I'll wait for however long you need.”
…
“I'll... be leaving now. I'll come by tomorrow, just in case you want to talk.” Cliff waited for a moment, but she didn't respond. “...Goodnight, Fluttershy.” Head held low, the young dragon turned and started on the long walk back to the palace.
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NO. Why ANGEL. WHY? Great job with this chapter. This is turning out to be very interesting. Good luck with relationship problem and Spike's plan.
Wow just wow I haven't seen spike get angry like that since the end of the episode of twilight time when spike made all those nachos
carpentry, I think
I need to sit down and find more ways of saying 'I enjoyed this chapter' because I get the feeling I won't stop needing to say it anytime soon. The entire incident with Rainbow Dash was entertaining and believable. It also served as a clever way of slipping in the details of draconic lifespans. Two of my three theories from the previous chapter and when I thought it had happened all turned out to be incorrect, but my draconic Danny Phantom theory could still be possible. Twilight did say that Rainbow's magic field was still a bit different.
Cliff's mental state was also realistic, or at least as realistic as you can get with a fire breathing reptile in a world of flying, spell casting, colorful ponies. I may not know much about how a relationship functions, but I do know how draining a mistake in a relationship can be. Cliff tried to take things a bit too quickly and spooked Fluttershy into a panic. This put a metaphorical weight on his shoulders that drained all of his energy. My guess is that Fluttershy got nervous about the idea of kissing Cliff and ran away, but is now crying because she thinks she hurt his feelings. At least we have confirmation that it won't be too large of an issue for them to get through.
The rebuilding process by itself would have been a bit drawn out, but the ideas and information you gave during it kept things interesting. Cliff's thoughts helped visualize what kind of stress he was going through. It also allowed the dragons to see just how efficient Ponyville is at rebuilding after a disaster hits. Then again, Ponyville gets attacked by disasters so often that it would look like the Wasteland in Fallout 3 if they weren't skilled in construction. I suppose practice really does make perfect.
I find myself becoming more interested in the lore you add to this story every time you throw in a few more details. The ideas you've introduced definitely beat the show's lore by a long shot. Then again, the only things they've shown are that greed can drive a dragon insane and that most dragons are absolute jerks. I feel as though this is a one-sided fight in your favor. I look forward to the next update.
Umm... I'm confused. Did I overlook where Cliff and Flutters kissed, because I don't remember that. If you could point out what happened, I'd appreciate it. I'm already lost about what happened to Ponyville. For the record, I don't think it's a good idea to handle Ponyville the way you did. If something major like this happened during another main event in the story, you should probably show the readers, so they don't get lost. If you did show it, let me know. I'm just really discombobulated right
Angel bunny: the living embodiment of all evil in the MLP universe
4600083
It was kind of an experiment on my part, showing the aftermath of some events without showing the events themselves. In medias res, in the middle of a story, as it were. I wanted to see how people would react to it. That, and my attempts to actually write them casting the spell on Rainbow, the chase afterward, Cliff attempting to kiss Fluttershy, and her panicking as a result, turned out so laughably bad that I deleted the whole thing in disgust.
So yeah, all of that happened while Spike and the others were at the ball.
Thanks for the feedback, by the way. I did worry that this sort of storytelling technique would be pretty confusing.
4600008
I think you're right. I'll go change that now.
4599157
Actually, now that I've slept on it, I've realized a few other problems I have with that chapter.
One, realistically, how is what Discord did to Fluttershy any different to daterape? I mean, you can say she consented, but she only consented after she had her mind altered. Its the same reason daterape is well, rape, consent doesn't count if the person isn't in their right mind. It's the same as if I slipped something into my friends drink, "just to help them loosen up and have a good time" and keep in mind that this is what Discord does to his supposed best friend.
Also, Rainbow Dash and Big Mac's poison joke punishments don't make a lot of sense to me. Poison Joke always worked off an ironic punishment, but I cant really see the irony in either of them. For Dash I thought at first this was because she was being culturally insensitive (walk a mile in their shoes kind of situation) but shes probably been the most accepting character in this story. Maybe is a "be careful what you wish for" situation but that's hardly in keeping with Poison Joke.
Lastly, it wasn't until this morning that I realized the worst thing that Discord did. He make Applejack irresistible to the opposite sex, and the put her into a room full of increasingly drunk stallions. I cant imagine anything good coming from that. I mean, you can say that she's strong enough to fight them off if need be, but she was getting drunk too, and was extremely outnumbered. At the very least, Discord exposed her to a night of unwanted and probably increasingly risque sexual advances from a crowd of drunk stallions.
Yaaaaaaay :'D awesomee chapter !!
I like Cliff way to support and cheer up spike , like real brothers , i still want to see more interaction between them as siblings , but wooow really nice chapter !!!
So Rainbow Dash gets an extra seventy years huh? Well that's nice, at least she'll have Cliff and Spike to mourn with when her honorary little sister and all her best friends die
And regarding the whole Cliff and Fluttershy debacle, well... it could be worse. At least they don't have to deal with this kind of problem
Okay, I'm lost. When did Cliff try to kiss Fluttershy?
Wait, Twilight has a normal pony's lifespan, despite being an alicorn?
4600397 that was clearly done off camera and probably during the last two chapters at some point, afterall, we also didnt see Ranbow's...little accident...
hmmm, this might be obvious for me, but i really want a twidash relationship to come into play here. like, twilight starts doing tests on rainbow to see what she's capable of now that she's a dragon, and to see if she's ok after that spell, and things just go from there. unfortunately, i can't remember if it was mentioned anywhere if either of them, or both of them, was straight.
4600472 The way I see it, as with some other more famous bronies, that's there's different types of alicorns. There's Alpha and Beta. Alpha Alicorns live virtually forever, and have ULTIMATE POWAAA!! which is the case for Celestia and Luna. Beta Alicorns have practically nothing in comparison. They only have the wings and horn, and a slight power boost, like Cadence and Twilight. The reason Twilight's more powerful than Cadance by a landslide is because she specializes in magic, having a Magic based cutie mark and all. On top of that, being the Element of Magic/Friendship, she gets an EXTRA power boost on top of all that. That's my understanding of it all, debate it however you wish.
4600488
If this is the case, then Vedues made a quite the mistake. In all scene's of any kind, there has to be a character that is going through what the audience is going through. By explaining that the kiss happened without a character that didn't know about it left me feeling alienated from the scene; and I wouldn't be surprised if others felt the same.
Hopefully Cliff and Shy make amends soon. This sort of thing is better to clear up as quickly as possible. And if if things don't work out with Rarity Spike should at least consider Autumn.
4600604
Call it an experiment. A bit of a failed experiment, admittedly. The idea was that the point of view "camera" decided to follow someone other than Cliff for a while, but Cliff's own life was still happening while it was gone, leaving the reader a bit behind when it came back to him.
I'm not going to say this writing technique is completely useless, but I will think a lot harder about if and how I should use it in the future. Thanks for sticking around in spite of this little goof.
… Tell me… WHY did she honestly think that breathing fire would be a GOOD IDEA? I mean, SERIOUSLY? HOW does one get to that train of thought? Somebody tell me! How does that even- forget it. Not even gonna try. Ah, well. And seriously, WHY, ANGEL? WHY? WHY ARE YOU SUCH A LITTLE BASTARD? Y'know what It's not worth fussing over. I'm just… gonna go back to Armor Games… play an RPG or something like that… Oh, hey! Crystal Story II! This is always fun!
I personally liked the off screen moments coming into view. A nice touch that I don't think I've seen before. I think I've seen similarly done scenes, but with flashbacks to actually show the event, but honestly I rarely like flashbacks. I much prefer this method. Of course, I understand that for other people this isn't workable, so I understand if you don't end up doing it again.
Poor Cliff
Good Luck next chapter
If Celestia is immortal, does that mean she has an infinite amount of life-force that can be transferred?
Is she immortal in this story, or merely extremely long-lived?
4601112
I can't say I thought it was a good idea either, but Rainbow did win a fire-breathing competition a few days prior, and just the day before, she was talking with Fire Eyes about how cool breathing fire is. I figure it's similar to the mentality that caused her to ask if Twilight would turn her into a griffin or a dragon during It Ain't Easy Being Breezies.
Strangely, I felt bad that it took me this long to show Angel being... well, Angel. This probably doesn't say much about me, but I actually enjoy writing for complete jerks.
4601419
Bravo, good sir! It took me forever to connect those dots when I was writing this.
Short answer: Yes, Celestia and Luna are immortal, and could, theoretically, transfer any number of years to another individual with no negative effects to themselves.
Long answer: Spike and Celestia will discuss this very same issue in chapter 30. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until then to hear the full story.
To be honest, I don't like that the experiment and the kiss happened off script, ESPECIALLY when they were both done at once. I spent a good minute looking back to see if I missed a chapter or something and spent the rest of this chapter confused.
I don't recommend making it a habit...
4600142
ok, I understand that you didn't like how it turned out, but could you atleast try to write that part again? Maybe as a side chapter or in a different story all together? Just try please.
Okay, I just posted a revision to Cliff and Rainbow's conversation near the end of chapter 18. Hopefully this will make it more clear that the attempted kiss was never shown previously. Thanks for all of your feedback, and indulging me on this little experiment, guys!
4600126 I wonder how bad it would be if something happened to make him larger and able to act out his evil plans?
Might be an interesting episode for season 5.
4601453 Wait, you mean that there at least 30 chapters to this?
FUCK YES!
My headcanon on Artificial alicorns, is they have increased longevity, but that's about it.
4600472 The writers said once that she would age and die normally (but the screenshot might be fake).
I think Fluttershy is overdoing it a little bit given the circunstances. I hope they'll come around.
Also, I really liked that life-transfer magic you created.
4602826
Agreed.
again, i support spautumn
Eh, no offense, but I didn't really like your experiment with this new writing technique. I'm sure that with practice you could pull it off, but right now I just found it confusing. A bunch of events happened and I had to reread the last chapter to make sure I didn't miss anything. Perhaps if you introduced them better, or eased into the situation rather than jumping into it, then I would have been a tad less confused.
Just a tad bit of criticism.
Anyway, keep up the good work! That plot is moving and I'm liking how it looks
I kind of wonder if Spike will start liking Autumn Gem, I bet he will.
Awesome chapter as always
Can't wait for the next one.
Twilight is not immortal.
Here's the EQD page with a screen cap of the statement that Megan McCarthy made on her twitter feed answering that question.
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2013/04/twilight-sparkle-wont-outlive-her.html
4603129 I believe The Doors wrote a song about this pairing called...
"The Crystal Ship".
*rimshot*
...I'll show myself out.
4649867 it says she won't outlive her friends - there are a number of possible interpretations of that.
One admittedly is that she isn't immortal.
Then you have the elements being immortal.
Or her being killed off.
Cadence and Twilight being mortal alicorns implies a lot of other mortal alicorns in the history books, and also makes all of them a lot less important, seeing as they won't be around that long. It would mean that alicorns just happen sometimes, and eventually go away... no big deal.
Of course it also shoots down the idea that Celestia is grooming Twilight to take on responsibilities approaching her own in magnitude (or even to succeed her). It makes Twilight a lot less special.
That's great! I hope this will work!
As a side note, Angel shouldn't be a jerk all the time. Seriously, Cliff Hanger is trying to make her feel better but that bunny simply cares more about his own childish vendetta than her feelings at that moment!
To regurgitate a quote: the other diamond is always larger.
And I swear, if Rainbow can now transform into a dragon...
Huh a fic where angel has a reason for being a giant dick neat.
In a darker setting , the wyrms are immortality batteries for heartless ponies