Chapter 6
The next morning was calm and cheerful... again. Cliff was glad to learn that a rainstorm had been scheduled for that afternoon. He was getting very bored of this perfect weather.
He was also surprised when Spike came back from getting the morning newspaper with a bag addressed to him. Inside, he found a dozen eggs and a fish.
It was fairly obvious that Fluttershy was behind it, but he wasn't exactly sure how to interpret such a gesture. Is she trying to take care of me like one of her animals? Cliff shrugged and fried half of the eggs for breakfast.
-_-_-_-_-_-
Both Rainbow Dash and Cliff agreed that they should be more restrained today, so they only ran one loop around Ponyville and back. It was still more than enough to wear them out.
“How did things go with Fluttershy yesterday?” Rainbow asked after they finished.
“We're officially friends now,” Cliff replied, stretching out a cramp in his back leg. And my theory about ponies is becoming more and more solid.
“Awesome. I knew you could do it.” She dumped a bucket of water over hear head. “Ah, that feels better.”
Cliff really had no idea why somepony would install a faucet next to the back entrance of a crystalline tree palace. Even if ponies weren't evil, they were still weird. “I do have a question, though.”
“Shoot.”
I'm going to assume that means, 'go ahead.' “I think she left a bag of foods I like at our front door this morning.”
“Yeah, sounds like something she'd do.”
Cliff hesitated. “I just wish I knew why.”
Rainbow Dash laughed. “Look Cliff, the trick to dealing with Fluttershy is to just let her do her own thing.” She took to the air. “I've gotta help get ready for the storm this afternoon, but I'll catch ya later, okay?”
Cliff waved. “Okay, catch you later.”
-_-_-_-_-_-
The rest of the morning and afternoon passed much like the day before. Cliff and Spike worked together on the chores, ate lunch with Twilight, and then worked on magic until she got home for dinner. Spike actually managed to hold onto the Stillness long enough that Cliff deemed him ready to start the next step. After dinner, Rarity dropped by to deliver Cliff's 'ensemble,' a dark blue tuxedo, complete with bow-tie.
“Oh, don't you look so dashing,” the white unicorn said admiringly. “I've really outdone myself this time.”
“Uh-huh,” agreed Spike, who hadn't taken his eyes off Rarity since she came in.
Twilight chuckled. “You look great, Cliff.”
The young dragon pretended to admire himself in the mirror, but his mind was elsewhere. He had scanned Rarity's heart while she was helping him get everything on. Cliff had only held the connection for a second before she moved away, and so he hadn't been able to check her feelings for Spike, but even a brief glimpse into her heart had shown her to be a very kind and generous mare, who intended him no harm whatsoever. Five tests, one result. We're completely wrong about ponies, or at least, a lot of them. “Thank you, Rarity. This is very nice.”
“Think nothing of it, Cliff. It's the least I could do to welcome Spikey-wikey's brother to Ponyville.” She gave Spike an affectionate hug. “How are you settling in?”
“It has been... eye opening.”
“I'm glad to hear it. I was also pleased to hear from Fluttershy that you two have become friends.”
“Yes, we have.” Cliff thought about the bag of food again. Is giving gifts how Fluttershy expresses friendship? He got a sinking feeling. “Is it rude if somepony gives you a gift, and you don't give one back?”
“I suppose it may be, depending on the circumstances.” Rarity's eyes lit up. “Oh goodness, did she give you something as a token of your friendship?”
“Yes, a bag of food.”
His answer seemed to disappoint the unicorn mare. “Oh, well yes, I suppose that is a gift between friends.”
What was she expecting? “So, should I get her something in return?”
“I'm sure she would appreciate it if you did.”
“It's a good thing you have a job now.” Twilight grinned and ran for her room. “I'll be right back with your first paycheck!”
Paycheck? Oh right, money. “Are you sure you have enough to spare?” he called after her. From what Spike said, it was extremely easy to run out of bits.
“Of course,” she replied. “I'm only using a fraction of my royal allowance. There's more than enough to give you a good salary.”
“Alright, if you're sure.” He turned back to Rarity. “What exactly should I get her?”
The unicorn considered it for a moment. “I'm afraid Fluttershy has never been an easy one to shop for. She doesn't wear jewelry or clothes very often, and doesn't have many hobbies other than taking care of animals and knitting.”
“New knitting supplies, maybe?” Cliff suggested.
Spike shook his head. “She has a room full of that stuff under her cottage.”
“A new pet?”
Rarity smiled sympathetically. “I'm afraid her cottage is also the local pet shop.”
Cliff sighed. “You weren't kidding.”
“Oh,” Rarity exclaimed. “I believe I have an idea!”
“Yes?” Cliff and Spike said in unison.
“Fluttershy uses many of Zecora's potions to take care of sick animals, but she hates going into the Everfree Forest to get them.”
Twilight reappeared, levitating a bag behind her. “Oh Rarity, that's perfect!” She offered the bag to Cliff. “There are fifty bits in there.”
“Thank you both.” He took it. “Where in the forest does she live?”
Rarity explained where he could find the path that lead to her house.
“Do you know what kind of potions she gets, or how much they cost?”
The unicorn shook her head. “I'm afraid I don't, darling.”
“Most of her potions don't cost very much.” Twilight said. “You should be able to get anything you need.”
“Perfect.” Cliff glanced out the window. The sun had nearly reach the horizon, casting everything in long shadows and shades of red. “Do you think she'd still be open?”
“She is,” Twilight said, “but, Cliff, it's nearly sundown. You don't want to be in the Everfree Forest at night.”
“I'll move quickly.” He quickly removed the suit and left it bundled on the couch. “Thank you for the advice, Rarity, and for the, 'ensemble.'”
“I was my pleasure, dear.” She was busy folding the discarded articles. “Although we must discuss proper clothing care when you get back.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. “No need to apologize. Hurry along before you lose the light.”
Cliff put on his cloak and deposited the bits inside one of its pockets. “I'll be back as quickly as I can.” It had been a few days since he practiced magically enhanced running anyway.
As soon as he got outside, the young dragon cast spells to increase his strength, agility, and senses. His improved eyesight picked out the trail Rarity had told him about. He crouched and took off.
Less than a minute later, he slid to a stop in front of a gnarled tree, surrounded by strange masks and colored bottles. Whoever Zecora is, she certainly has unusual tastes. Cliff walked up to the door and knocked.
The most unusual pony he had ever seen (and that was saying something) opened the door. She had a black and white striped coat, a short mane that stood straight up, and strangely angled eyes. “Is that a dragon I now see? 'Tis quite a surprise, I do decree.” She spoke with an accent, but Cliff couldn't even begin to guess at its origin.
“Excuse me, are you Zecora?”
She nodded. “Zecora I am, my dragon friend. To what need of yours might I attend?”
At least she's friendly. “I'm looking for a potion. One of the kind that you sell to Fluttershy.” Then he realized that she might not know Fluttershy by name. “She's a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and tail.”
Zecora nodded, but her expression was quizzical. “Many potions to that mare I sell. Which do you need, pray tell?”
There has to be a reason why she always rhymes. Cliff decided that it didn't matter. “I don't actually know. I just want to repay her for a gift I received.”
The strange pony stepped back to let him in. “A noble intention, dragon friend. What is your name, if that does not offend?”
He slipped past her. “Cliff Runner. I'm Spike's brother.”
The inside of Zecora's house was adorned by more of the unusual masks, and a large caldron bubbled in the center of the room. Most notably, dozens of bottles rested on shelves or on the floor. Some even hung from the ceiling by cords.
“A polite brother he has received indeed, and of a family, he was sadly in need.” She moved to one of the bottle-covered shelves. “And now, Cliff Runner, for Fluttershy, did you wish the price be low, or high?”
Cliff actually had no idea if eggs and fish were expensive items in Ponyville or not, and so he wasn't sure what the appropriate price of a return gift would be. He also had only a vague idea of how much a bit was worth. “Somewhere in the middle, I suppose. Whatever she buys the most of.”
Zecora lifted a bottle from the shelf and carried it to him. “With this potion an injury mends. She often buys it for her woodland friends.” She placed it on a table next to him. “Its ingredients are not so rare. Perhaps five bits you'd consider fair?”
“Yes, thank you.” He gave her the money and stashed the potion in his cloak. “I'll be leaving now. Goodbye.”
“Take care, young dragon.” She said as he left. “Journey with speed; and may you ever be free from greed.”
Her farewell made Cliff pause. “My entire society is dedicated to that one goal.” He turned back to her with a sad smile. “It's the only way a dragon can guarantee the safety of those he cares about.” Then he cast his spells again and was off.
Unpleasant memories followed after the young dragon. He had seen more than one young child transform into a crazed monster because of greed, and it hadn't always been possible to snap them out of it.
-_-_-_-_-_-
Cliff dropped the potion at Fluttershy's front door and then made his way home. After hanging up his cloak, the young dragon was given an extremely lengthy explanation by Rarity about how to properly take care of clothing, and why it mattered.
His head was spinning by the time the white unicorn bid them goodnight. How do ponies handle having clothes if they take so much work? Cliff had found his cloak in a dumpster in some pony town, and never would have guessed that it needed to be taken in for something called 'dry cleaning' once every month.
With everything else out of the way, the trio settled down to practice magic. Spike was progressing nicely. Twilight, on the other claw, was still struggling to create the Stillness.
She smiled sheepishly after another failed attempt. “I'm really sorry, Cliff. I don't normally take this long to learn something new.”
“Quit worrying, Twilight,” Spike told her. “You've had a busy couple of days, but I'm sure you'll get it tonight.”
“Thanks, Spike.” She turned to Cliff. “Maybe you could monitor my attempt and tell me where I'm getting it wrong?”
Cliff nodded and moved next to her. He placed two claws over her heart. “Go ahead.”
Twilight closed her eyes and focused.
“Good so far.” It was a bit of an understatement. Twilight's technique was exactly what Cliff had suggested the last time they'd practiced. Seconds passed, and frustration crept into her heart. “Relax, Twilight. You're doing it correctly. This just takes time.”
The frustration died down.
“Good.”
A few seconds later, the alicorn's heart was completely still.
“...Alright, that's enough,” Cliff told her after she held the Stillness for a full minute.
Twilight gave him a huge hug. “Yes, yes, yes! Thank you, Cliff!” She pulled away and embraced Spike as well.
The baby dragon hugged her back with equal enthusiasm, congratulating her all the while.
Once they had calmed down, Cliff told Twilight that she was ready to move on. “I'll give you the same warning that I gave Spike. The second step involves restoring certain emotions to your heart. You need to be careful, though, because it's easy to let these emotions run away with you. Some dragons get addicted to their own happiness spells, and will cast them over and over again just to feel that emotion. Others can't cast fear spells without feeling like a coward for days afterward.” He looked deep into the alicorn's eyes to make sure she understood. “If you don't control your emotions at this step, they will control you.”
She nodded gravely.
“Okay, we'll start with four simple emotions; joy, excitement, sadness, and anger.” The concept was simple, to allow only the chosen emotion into your heart, but techniques varied. Cliff favored using memories for beginners, and so, after Twilight's heart was still once more, he instructed her to think of something that made her smile.
A little bit of joy blossomed in the mare's heart, but it was quickly pushed aside by the Stillness.
“Don't worry, this happens with everydragon.” Cliff assured her. “You've spent so much time making your heart still that you don't know how to let emotions back in.” He explained a few things she could do to get around this problem.
-_-_-_-_-_-
The next week passed quickly for Cliff. At first, he still looked for excuses to scan the hearts of ponies he met. After he tested a dozen ponies, however, and all of them trustworthy, he gave up and accepted that his race was horribly wrong about the citizens of Equestria.
Cliff also spent several days trying to convince Twilight to cut his pay before giving up and opening a 'savings account.' The only reason he kept anything was to cover his third of the food budget, and because new packages of eggs and fish were appearing at their door every other day, and he needed money to buy potions in return.
He never spoke to Fluttershy during that time, even though he sometimes saw her as she was dropping off the bags of food. She was definitely the type to avoid attention, and so Cliff let her perform her acts of friendship without fanfare.
Zecora, on the other claw, seemed to enjoy their brief talks each time Cliff came by for another potion. Her rhyming still threw him off. Yet, in spite of that, he felt a strange connection to the mare. That feeling was only strengthened when Twilight told him that Zecora wasn't a pony at all, but a sub-species of equine called a 'zebra.' It seemed that he wasn't the only outsider in this town.
Cliff spent most of his days helping Spike with his chores. It was amazing how much the baby dragon had to get done each day. Between cooking meals, cleaning the palace, shopping, running errands, and making snacks for Twilight's weekly lessons with three young fillies from town, Spike barely had any time to himself. At least they were able to talk, laugh, and tell stories as they worked together.
Spike and Twilight progressed well in their study of magic. Both were able to use at least a few spells, though neither was ready for anything that was very complex. Unfortunately, Spike's enthusiasm for dragon magic didn't extend into working out, so Rainbow Dash remained Cliff's only exercise partner. At least the enthusiastic pegasus kept things interesting. Nearly every day she had a new course for them to run.
The young dragon was happy for the most part, but every now and then he would be reminded that he was far from home. Twilight and Spike still looked ready to gag every time he ate fish in front of them, for example, and his bed still felt cold and lonely as he lay in it each night.
“What's eating at you?” Rainbow Dash asked during one of their morning gallops.
Cliff glanced back at Ponyville. “I'm just wondering if I'll ever fit in around here.”
“Are other ponies giving you a hard time or something?” Rainbow Dash guided them down yet another new route. This one lead past the swamp to the south.
“No.” Aside from all the strange looks as I walk past.
“Then what's the problem? I mean, you're friends with the most awesome pegasus ever.” She laughed. “What else matters?”
Cliff laughed as well. “I'll remember that.”
“You'd better!”
The two lapsed into comfortable silence as they focused on the winding path. Most trees had a sickly look to them in this area, and the smell was far from pleasant, but its isolation lent the bog a sense of tranquility... right up until they heard the screams.
Both dragon and pegasus screeched to a halt, straining their ears. “I'll look from up top,” Rainbow said, and shot into the air.
Cliff nodded, and activated a spell to increase his hearing.
“-elp! Help! Help!” One voice was shouting.
“C'mon,” another said. “We gotta run faster!” Her accent was the same as Applejack's.
“I can't!” The third voice was on the verge of panic.
“Down there!” Rainbow Dash shouted to Cliff, diving towards where she had just pointed.
Speed Burst brought him there almost as quickly as the pegasus. What he saw brought back extremely bad memories. Three fillies, the ones Twilight taught, were desperately running away from a giant monster. The only difference was that these young ones were ponies, rather than dragons, and they were running from a brownish hydra with four heads, not one of their own who had been driven mad by greed.
Shaking aside the flashback, Cliff grabbed two of the ponies and threw them onto his back. “Hang on!” He shouted, running back the way he had come. “Rainbow, grab the last one!”
The pegasus flew past, already carrying the third little pony. “Way ahead of you.” She glared at the child in her arms. “What in the hay were you three doing down here, Scootaloo?!”
“I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash,” the child sobbed. Even from where he was, Cliff could see her shaking. “We thought we might be able to earn our cutie-marks in the swamp, but then that monster attacked, and... and...” She latched onto the older pony and wept.
“You two alright up there?” Cliff asked his own passengers as he cast a few spells to help him run faster.
“Ah, ah think so,” one of them answered. “Thank ya, Cliff.”
“No problem.” He was a bit ashamed that he couldn't recall her name.
Ponyville was getting closer now, but a roar behind them told Cliff that their pursuer hadn't given up yet. “Didn't you know that a hydra lives in the swamp?” Even he had been told that much.
“Well... yeah, but we didn' think we'd run inta it.”
“It nearly ate me!” The other filly wailed. Sweetie something, if he recalled correctly.
“Don't worry,” Cliff said as gently as he could manage while running. “I promise not to let it hurt you.”
Screams erupted from the town as ponies saw the monster approaching. “I'm going to speed up. Hold on tight!” Cliff increased the flow of willpower to his running spells, making it to the palace as quickly as he dared with two passengers.
Rainbow Dash was already there, disentangling herself from the small orange pegasus she had been carrying. “I've gotta to get the Wonderbolts.” She told Cliff. “They're the only ponies who can stop that thing.”
Cliff nodded. “We'll keep it busy until you get back.”
She took off, and Cliff rushed the three inside. “Twilight! Spike!”
They both emerged from upstairs. “What's going on?” Twilight asked.
“A hydra's attacking the town.” Cliff ran to the door to the basement and pulled it open. He motioned for the little fillies to go down. “Spike, keep an eye on these three.”
The baby dragon nodded that he understood, and went down after them.
“I need to go tell the Mayor!” Twilight ran for the door.
“No, you need to help me distract that hydra until Rainbow Dash gets back,” Cliff said, chasing after her.
“There's no time to argue,” Twilight said, leaping into the sky. “We need to organize our defenses!”
Cliff snarled in frustration as she flew away. The hydra was only a few minutes from reaching the edge of town. There isn't time to organize defenses before it kills somepony! Even worse, the monster was still looking in his direction intently, which meant it was coming straight for the palace... for Spike and the three fillies they had just rescued.
Fine! Cliff thought. He had never fought a hydra, let alone one this massive, but nothing was going to harm those four young ones! Not as long as he was alive to stop it.
Scale Armor, Reflexes, Strength, Breath, and Senses, the young dragon recited as he cast the spells. Rainbow Dash, get back quickly. Then he cast Speed Burst and launched himself at the beast.
-_-_-_-_-_-
Dashing between its legs, Cliff Runner released a concentrated beam of fire at the hydra's scaled ankle. Not waiting to see how it reacted, he launched himself forward, landing just past the end of its long tail. He flipped around and shot two more beams of fire.
The results were less than impressive. One of the hydra's heads turned to roar at him, but the other three, along with its body, pushed on towards the palace. A few light burns on its legs were the only sign of Cliff's attacks.
So much for luring it away, the young dragon reflected, and charged the beast again. He activated another spell; Ghost Claws. Ethereal light began to radiate from his claws. Speed Burst shot him into the air, right at one of its necks.
Lashing out with both arms, the light from his most recent spell instantly coalesced into two sets of ethereal claws, several times the length of his natural ones. They sank deep into the creature's flesh as Cliff used another Speed Burst to whip himself around, slitting its throat.
His instincts shouted that he was in danger.
Cliff launched himself away, narrowly avoiding one of the hydra's other heads as it's jaws snapped shut behind him. He landed between it and the town, panting from the use of so much magic. His claws felt like they had nearly been ripped off. Just how thick are those scales?
The hydra, for its part, seemed more angry than injured. Even as Cliff watched it roar, his enhanced eyesight noticed the scales along its neck stitching themselves back together. Four sets of slitted pupils glared at him as the monster lunged forward.
In spite of himself, Cliff felt a bit of fear touch him. Are four young ones going to die because I can't stop this thing? He pushed the thought aside and launched himself above the hydra's biting heads. He came back down on the injured one, releasing a shock-wave into its skull. Then he launched himself at another head, clawing furiously at its eyes.
With a roar, the hydra batted its head to the side.
Cliff's feet slipped, and he was nearly thrown into one of the hydra's gaping, beak-like mouths. He sank his claws deep into the creature's snout to stabilize himself as it shook and twisted, trying to dislodge him.
He only had time to realize that he should have ducked away again before a massive set of jaws clamped around him, ripping him off of the monster's other head.
His enchanted scales saved him from being sliced to pieces, but nothing could stop the crushing pressure of the hydra's bite. Cliff clawed and scraped with the arm that hadn't been pinned to his side, shooting fire wildly at any part of monster that he could see, but his fiery breath turned into screams of agony as his ribs began to snap.
Fighting through the pain was like holding back a river. Only the knowledge that he would die if he didn't get away gave him enough strength to cast another Speed Burst, ripping himself out of the creature's mouth.
Cliff didn't even feel himself hitting the ground.
His vision was starting to go black. Breathing was impossible through the pain in his chest. If he didn't get away and heal himself, he would probably die.
Those children still need me...
He ignored the monster's roars, and slowly forced himself back to his feet.
A purple haze seemed to surround the hydra, but Cliff didn't have time to think about that. It was getting harder just to stay awake, and that beast needed to be stopped before it could reach Spike. The young dragon somehow found the strength to cast one more spell, Spider Climb, and then he launched himself forward.
He barely missed the hydra's heads, and slammed into its chest. One hand magically attached itself to the creature's scales, while he slashed down with the other as hard as he could. His entire ribcage exploded in agony from the impact and Cliff heard something snap in his wrist, but all of his attention was devoted to a final surge of magic. He opened his mouth and shot a beam of searing heat into the wound his claws had just opened.
The hydra roared and shook all around him, but Cliff just angled the beam up, down, side to side, anywhere he could think of to hit something important. He could barely see anything through the blackness anymore. By all rights, one of the creature's heads should have finished him off.
He couldn't think clearly enough to be grateful that it hadn't.
He was only dimly aware when the hydra hit the ground, hurling him away like a broken doll.
I hope that was enough... Cliff thought as he rolled limply to a stop. Then the blackness consumed him.
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Quite well balanced for a magic dragon. Now if his breath weapon had just cut through all three of their heads at once that would have been OP.
4481800 I like op characters though. My profile pic is of a Colossus. Its literally a walking mountain.
Nice job with this chapter. I think you did a great job. Maybe, to improve, you could have fights from a 3rd person perspective. I'm not sure about that though.
I think you did really great with Zecoras rhymes. The Fighting scene was reasonable and good to read. Keep up the good work.
4481800
True that. It's surprisingly tempting to make your OC all-powerful, and I was really trying to reign that in here.
Here we have an example of "you are your own worst critic". I was quite impressed with both the rhyming and the fight scene. Your Zecora rhyming is actually better than many of the authors who are otherwise your superiors in terms of skill and success.
4481818
I once built an enemy for a D&D campaign that predated reality, was powerful enough to obliterate 9 planets per round, could survive 38 supernovas to the face, and had to be killed 44 times before he'd stay dead. After that, OP kind of became a matter of perspective.
The magical enhancements he put on himself I think personally felt a little over-powered. If Cliff just say used his emotion control to like enhance his courage giving him more of an adrenaline rush. While instilling a small amount of fear into the hydra to make it hesitate slightly with it's attacks the battle would have played out pretty similarly, but this is just one mans opinion.
4481880 so superman
4481880 I once made an OP as hell character that predated reality. Like seriously he could just snap stuff out of existence, and into existence on a whim. A lot of people really seemed to like him, so much so that they created big fan clubs around him. Different fanclubs believed different things, but they all worshipped this OC. I named him God, but most people have just taken to calling him whatever their fanclub likes most.
4481895
Pretty much. I've decided that I like prefer main characters to be somewhere around Spiderman in terms of raw power. In Cliff's case, I figure that his magic brings his agility up to about that level, and gives him some different attack options. However, I think either Twilight or Rainbow Dash could have defeated the hydra more easily than him.
i thought that, if anything, he was a little underpowered. maybe it's just me, but i thought that he'd be more prepared for a fight, what with dragons being more natural fighters than ponies. but again, it might just be me.
4482092
Blame my pre-readers (younger brother and spouse. It's all I could get). They said dragons felt a little OP, so I toned them down. That being said, Cliff is more of an explorer than a fighter, and he'll grow as the story goes on.
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
This is a good story, but my sole complaint is that this story is more focused on the relationship between Cliff and all other ponies instead of, you know, Cliff spending more time to get to know his long lost brother more.
I mean, it gives of the vibe of: "Oh. I found my brother, who was lost for over 20 years! I bet he is a slave o ponies! Oh. he isn't a slave and ponies are nice. Better try get to know ponies more than my own brother since I'll be hanging around."
Very interesting… he's legitimately limited in his abilities. Not a case of 'Oh, I can become a god for this long, but I'm useless after'. It's simple 'I can be slightly stronger for this duration of time, but it'll wear away quickly'. Let's look at the main character of Haiyoru! Nyaruko-san. Her name is, well, Nyarko:
2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZDRAP3_81JQ/UXSrY1MOuPI/AAAAAAAA8Ws/RtvC3GPI8aE/s1600/%5BHorribleSubs%5D+Haiyore!+Nyaruko-san+W+-+01+%5B480p%5D.mkv_snapshot_00.08_%5B2013.04.19_19.03.23%5D.jpg
For a Lovecraftian deity turned otaku that's obsessed with a regular old human, she sure is limited in power. While she DOES boast lots of attack power and speed, it's balanced out with her absolute LACK of easily usable range attacks, and her PATHETIC defenses. Cliff, on the other hand, is a Jack of All Stats. He has no strong points, and that's how you round someone out. He's tough, but a hydra can kick his ass. See, that's a GOOD thing. Now we can see him get better (if that's what you wanna do with him). We can SEE how he will GET to that OP point that some others have mentioned. By the way, watch this anime. It's f*cking hilarious. Both literally and figuratively. There's quite a bit of dirty humor.
The fight scene was well written by my account. I could very easily visualize what was happening throughout the course of the fight. I also like how well you wrote Zecora's rhymes. It's pretty clear to me what the purple haze was and I'd like to see how that plays out in the next chapter.
4482320
True, at this point. I wanted to normalize Cliff's feelings about ponies before I started delving into things between the brothers. The two of them are actually spending multiple hours every day together (as mentioned briefly when I summed up his week), but their dialogue would be equal parts a rehash of the show, and an exposition dump about dragon society, so I decided to leave it out. More meaningful interactions between the two are coming soon, though, I promise.
wowzers, i dunno what you're on about, but that's easily the best, most easily flowing zecora dialog i've read ever.
4482379 Alright then. I'll wait to see what you came up with.
4481853 with that said I like my good protagonists in well written stories like I like my coffee: way too strong for any mortal being to deal with.
Foreshadowing?
Second pony story related to dragons other than spike that I've read, second time I've read about that character fighting the hydra from the swamp. Is it a rule that when you write about dragons that they have to fight the hydra?
Oh well, it was good.
4482140 As far as dragons being OP, they should be. They're freaking dragons!
That being said, what you've established for Cliff is appropriate, as he is still very young for a dragon, and not near his full size yet. Give him a good century or two and he'll be totally OP. 
4483259
Not as original as I thought, it would seem.
It's funny, I thought I was being original when I first came up with fighting the hydra, then I read like 3 different fanfics in a row that all had the main character and that hydra duking it out.
4483282
Just wait until you meet his grandmother.
Very good, if anything the Hydra was op. I mean Regen, really! At least it wasn't a pyrohydra.
Good
4482140
I'd say you shouldn't worry about it too much. Everyone has their own idea of what a "dragon" is (Tolkien? Chinese? Komodo?), but none of these are useful for protagonists.
Mythical dragons are strong enough that there isn't really anything to overcome, besides emotional issues, but if you aren't going to use their combat prowess, they are plot-equivalent to rich people.
Komodo dragons aren't sapient. Note that neither sentient nor sapient is useful for discussing intelligence, as the first applies to just about every living thing, and the second is too narrow in scope, as it doesn't even cover all of the human race (one could argue, for example, that many American Congressmen aren't sapient).
What you have instead is more in line with what people think of when a half-dragon is mentioned... Wait...
... Right; moving on. Here is a better set of links. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that you've made a D&D cleric with a few slight racial advantages. That works quite well as a protagonist. It's just not the Smaug that people expected.
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And it was only a 4 header. God forbid they get a nine headed. Or a nine headed pyro. shudders.
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to clarify, he's a fairly low level cleric by 3.5 standards. cause high level? Ohhhh boy them things are scary.
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If I had to classify him as anything, I'd call him an ECL 12-14 or so Cleric/Crusader/Ruby Knight Vindicator, even though his magic works more like an Ardent. It's obvious I've spent entirely too much time thinking about this. Twilight's a Warlock/Wizard/Eldritch Theurge, by the way.
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Now the real question is: how much of that is racial level adjustment?
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Let's see. He has a racial ability to breath fire, let's call it DR 10/bludgeoning, and immunity to fire. That's a pretty tough call, but let's say +4, assuming his fire breath is usable every 1d4 rounds, can be a 15 ft cone or a 30 ft line, and deals 1d6 fire damage/two hit dice (minimum 1), with a Reflex save DC 10 + 1/2 of the dragon's HD + his Con modifier for half damage.
Compared to anything else in the chapter this probably seems trivial, but can I just say that's it's freaking awesome that dragon society where Cliff comes from is built on an aversion to greed? It's like...Abnegation, done right.
Oh yeah! And I apologize for not explaining the character psychoanalyses in my earlier posts...that was probably confusing and rude. >.< Here's a relatively simple explanation:
(Source)
That's as brief a summary as I'll give you, since the theory is so complex and awesome that it explains EVERYTHING @_@ (about peoples' motives, anyway). :P
I had a list of links for moar info, but then I accidentally deleted it. :\ Somepony remind me to edit this comment tomorrow pls, if you're interested :3
It should be 'kills'.
And I'm uncertain if Cliff if OP. When writing a story, a character is OP when they can overcome a obstacle with no challenge whatsoever. Cliff doesn't seem to have this problem, as he got several broken bones from this fight, and was knocked unconscious.
Maybe what I've done with my Dragon OC can help you with this; in my story, my OC has unique magic that allows him to control both fire and the weather. He's also a very skilled swordsdragon. But because of his stubbornness to take on any challenge by himself, even if that means entire armies in some cases, he often comes very close to death, only surviving this encounter mostly thanks to his close friends who save him when they've had enough of his stubbornness. I hope this can help you somehow
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The more heads it has, the closer you are to defeating it.
4482032 So not quite able-to-destroy-the-planet, but more like knock-a-dinosaur-out-cold-with-one-punch? Seems like a good level to set a main character at.
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Whoops. Thanks for catching that! It's fixed now.
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Love that webcomic!
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Except I meant nine headed as: it has a base head count of 9.
Which now that I look it up is only cr8? Really? And a five header is cr4? Wtf? So according to the pattern a 4-header is cr3. There is no way thats right.
Well if that's the case the froggy-bottom bog hydra is templeted to tartarus and back, since its way more than cr3.
Also, Order of the Stick is amazing.
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Hmmm. I cant find any +4 LA races without any racial hit dice, but on comparison to some lower LA creatures with racial hit dice that seems about right.
Going back a bit, I thought about what you posted for Twilight's build. It fits what she pulls off in the show well.
And I realized ive never tried to build Twilight to actually fit the capabilities she displays, only the spirit of the character. Doing that I tend to present her has either a generalist wizard or a transmutation specialist banning Necromancy and ?Illusion?(yeah illusion. She's done teleporting:conjuration, magic missiles:evocation, want-it-need-it:enchantment, and shields:abjuration) with a couple ultimate magus levels building on a unicorns innate sorcerer casting.
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I'd say this hydra is a heavily modified one. For starters, it's Gargantuan or Colossal, rather than huge, giving it a number of extra hit dice. It also has improved grab with its bites, and much better natural armor.
Waaaa nice chapter !!! Thx a lot !!!
Cliff isn't really OP. If anything, the Hydra is the one who's OP. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place. HAIL HYDRA!!!
the fight scene was intense and awsome with cliff passing out in the end freaking mind exploding to see what happens next
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That's it! He needs to fight the Red Skull next!
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The next chapter comes out tomorrow. I hope you like it!
4488889 But first they need to make him part of the super-soldier project to turn him into... Captain Equestria! (or is it Captain Draconia?)
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And then he'll go on to join the Power Ponies as they fight an alien invasion!
I don't think Cliff's OP.
Your rhyming impressed me.
The fight scene was really good.
Awesome chapter as always, congratulations, the next one is sure going to be awesome too
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