................kay confused. why use modern weaponry? makse no sense overall.
and the only other problem i have is that there is no way twilight stands a chance against celestia and luna. that is kinda why i prefered the original idea. she can only lose, and quite completely i might add. even if she is a unicorn with the power of the nightmare, she is only a unicorn sitll. all it would take is for the regal ones to get close, and it would be over.
4382428 okay, nevermind. i got lost because of the 6month timeskip. didnt see it and thought it was still within the start of the war. still kinda confused on how shes so powerful but thats with normal twilight having an already huge magic ability and im guessing a nice boost from hate/dark magic?
Something tells me that the United Front better send in Pinkie Pie...NOW.
Because, if I know animation like I do and I know Pinkie's antics like I do...then it's going to be a surprise to see Pinkie try to out-gun Twilight's Tanks in a cartoon like way.
Still, What if once again, Celestia was wrong and that the Nightmare hasn't taken over Twilight ?
What will happen if Twilight does success and kills off all of her former life, will she truly be happy to end the lives of those she once called "friends?"
Will Spike be happy as well ?
I mean I know Spike's a bit jaded and all, but there's has to be a small part of the old Spike that is sadden by all the bloodshed of his former life ending, right ?
Still, great update and I wish to encourage you to keep up the good work upon such a great storyline like this one.
4382688 so if that was this story then how can the next chapter be the last chapter if you dont write something about discord showing up or something with discord? or was that not the point of the story? i think i may have just confused myself
Then I cannot wait to see how you'll try to wrap all of this up in one chapter...I mean the only way for all of this to end is with blood on Twilight's hooves, but does she regret truly killing her former life like this ?
4382720 maybe you can pul a CMC and have the chaos from the battle break the stone and they MAY join forces to defeat a common enemy then go back to fighting each other or now that the threat is over go their separate ways on the other hand you can have discord join a side possibly twilights since he wouldnt like celestia anyway
4382721 you'll just have to see oh and I'm making a humanized story with applejack as a Russian spetsaz, it's still in the works right now since forrest yuchnitz made a great point on my last fic I uploaded on how similar it was to this fic. But I wanted to do a badass AJ story and I've been on this russian kick for a while now.
4382734 'm making a humanized story with applejack as a Russian spetsaz, it's still in the works right now since forrest yuchnitz made a great point on my last fic I uploaded on how similar it was to this fic. But I wanted to do a badass AJ story and I've been on this russian kick for a while now
4382754 im still not getting it are you asking that if i had an OC would i like to work for applejack? now i can be pretty dense and oblivious sometimes so i might be missing the point all im seeing right now is that you are writing a story about applejack as a russian spez nas and that i made a good point and you uploaded how similar it was
4382762 well i dont have a human OC my recently ex girlfriend drew me a pony OC and i suck at drawing i dont know how good you but if you could somehow convert him into a human i wouldnt mind working for applejack also i like to think of myself as an eliteist im not saying leader material but better than average also what are the wages lol
4382762 I have a human oc, his name is Michael and he comes from my story, Michaels new life. He has magic, but you can take it away if you want it like that.
Well, this chapter certainly goes a long way to proving the old adage that war is hell. I suspect that even if Twilight wins, this is a loss in terms of what it's done to her psyche. It will be interesting to see what she's done that could give her the power boost to take on two alicorns at the same time, though I imagine that whatever it is, there's a price coming due that won't be pretty in the end. It'll be interesting to see where this goes in the next chapter, I'll be looking forward to it.
Oh, and one point you might want to edit. In Twilight's speech to the troops, you had this:
"THE ENEMY WILL TRY AT NOTHING TO STOP YOUR EVERY ATTEMPT TO SECURE VICTORY
I think it would have been clearer if it had been:
"THE ENEMY WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO THWART YOUR EVERY ATTEMPT TO SECURE VICTORY"
4383314 I'll tell you later, I have things to do. I'll be back in two hours. He has black, long hair, wears black clothes mostly, has a black sword, shadow magic (if you want him to have that)
4383447 Basically, he looks like This, and wears This. He has a black sword, a trollish personality (unless fighting, or angry), and he gets betrayed a lot, so he is wary of everyone.
"Nightmare? No, this isn't the nightmare this is my HATE." SHe snarled as they took a step back as a purple, black and blue portal opened up behind her as she went back to her normal self
If she really hasn't been taken over by the Nightmare, then the vision Celestia saw, she misinterpreted.
She had tried to go to the leaders of the other nations but they would not hear or even try to see her evidence that she had of Celestia, going so far as to call HER a traitor and liar. It was during one such event she had lost her right eye by an assassination attempt by the griffons.Twilight subconsciously rubbed the black patch over her eye where the bullet had passed through completely destroying the eye.
This is going to be great. I can't wait to see the next chapter. I wonder who Spike is going to kill. I bet her get the elements and Luna while Twi takes on Celestia. I know he will rip Dash apart first because she can think the can take him head on... Yea no lol. The Apple, Pinkie, Luna, finally him and Rarity right before he kills her he says his goodbyes as his mother battle her mentor overhead lol.
I've been following you since Dragon of the East and with each story and chapter you put out your story telling and writing gets better. I applaud you Slice.
................kay confused. why use modern weaponry? makse no sense overall.
and the only other problem i have is that there is no way twilight stands a chance against celestia and luna. that is kinda why i prefered the original idea. she can only lose, and quite completely i might add.
even if she is a unicorn with the power of the nightmare, she is only a unicorn sitll. all it would take is for the regal ones to get close, and it would be over.
im getting lost a tad but ill trust your judgement dear author, since you did Family Of Two And Dragon of the East. enjoyed those sooo much.
4382411 what are you lost about? I'll try to clear it up for you
4382428
okay, nevermind. i got lost because of the 6month timeskip. didnt see it and thought it was still within the start of the war. still kinda confused on how shes so powerful but thats with normal twilight having an already huge magic ability and im guessing a nice boost from hate/dark magic?
4382448 yep
Something tells me that the United Front better send in Pinkie Pie...NOW.
Because, if I know animation like I do and I know Pinkie's antics like I do...then it's going to be a surprise to see Pinkie try to out-gun Twilight's Tanks in a cartoon like way.
Still, What if once again, Celestia was wrong and that the Nightmare hasn't taken over Twilight ?
What will happen if Twilight does success and kills off all of her former life, will she truly be happy to end the lives of those she once called "friends?"
Will Spike be happy as well ?
I mean I know Spike's a bit jaded and all, but there's has to be a small part of the old Spike that is sadden by all the bloodshed of his former life ending, right ?
Still, great update and I wish to encourage you to keep up the good work upon such a great storyline like this one.
4382638 the next chapter will be the last for this version and then I start on the alt version with chrysalis
4382653 wasnt she just wanting her back for discord or was that a different story?
4382679 yes
4382688 so if that was this story then how can the next chapter be the last chapter if you dont write something about discord showing up or something with discord? or was that not the point of the story? i think i may have just confused myself
4382690 I need to check that cause now I'm confused
4382692 well damn i didnt mean to make you confused too
4382693 it's cool no biggie
4382693 ok yes it was this story
4382708 so will there be a discord? i debated if i should ask but im gonna ask anyway
4382715 yes there will be, not sure on how I'm gonna have him waking up to the epic battle between the elements and twi's army
4382653
Then I cannot wait to see how you'll try to wrap all of this up in one chapter...I mean the only way for all of this to end is with blood on Twilight's hooves, but does she regret truly killing her former life like this ?
4382720 maybe you can pul a CMC and have the chaos from the battle break the stone and they MAY join forces to defeat a common enemy then go back to fighting each other or now that the threat is over go their separate ways on the other hand you can have discord join a side possibly twilights since he wouldnt like celestia anyway
4382721 you'll just have to see oh and I'm making a humanized story with applejack as a Russian spetsaz, it's still in the works right now since forrest yuchnitz made a great point on my last fic I uploaded on how similar it was to this fic. But I wanted to do a badass AJ story and I've been on this russian kick for a while now.
So if you or any one is interested pm me
4382723 true oh and check my last comment and see if you're interested
4382732 interested in what exactly? it doesnt say i know the story havent gotten around to reading it yet though
4382734 'm making a humanized story with applejack as a Russian spetsaz, it's still in the works right now since forrest yuchnitz made a great point on my last fic I uploaded on how similar it was to this fic. But I wanted to do a badass AJ story and I've been on this russian kick for a while now
4382754 im still not getting it are you asking that if i had an OC would i like to work for applejack? now i can be pretty dense and oblivious sometimes so i might be missing the point all im seeing right now is that you are writing a story about applejack as a russian spez nas and that i made a good point and you uploaded how similar it was
4382758 yes do you have a human oc and would you like for him/her to be in my next fic I need 3 human oc
4382762 well i dont have a human OC my recently ex girlfriend drew me a pony OC and i suck at drawing i dont know how good you but if you could somehow convert him into a human i wouldnt mind working for applejack also i like to think of myself as an eliteist im not saying leader material but better than average also what are the wages lol
4382768 sure pm me the pic and they'll be captains
4382762 I have a human oc, his name is Michael and he comes from my story, Michaels new life. He has magic, but you can take it away if you want it like that.
4383307 sweet well that's the last oc I need.
4383307 what's he look like?
Well, this chapter certainly goes a long way to proving the old adage that war is hell. I suspect that even if Twilight wins, this is a loss in terms of what it's done to her psyche. It will be interesting to see what she's done that could give her the power boost to take on two alicorns at the same time, though I imagine that whatever it is, there's a price coming due that won't be pretty in the end. It'll be interesting to see where this goes in the next chapter, I'll be looking forward to it.
Oh, and one point you might want to edit. In Twilight's speech to the troops, you had this:
I think it would have been clearer if it had been:
"THE ENEMY WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO THWART YOUR EVERY ATTEMPT TO SECURE VICTORY"
Makes for a better flow to her speech, anyway.
4383314 I'll tell you later, I have things to do. I'll be back in two hours. He has black, long hair, wears black clothes mostly, has a black sword, shadow magic (if you want him to have that)
4383435 k
4383447 Basically, he looks like This, and wears This. He has a black sword, a trollish personality (unless fighting, or angry), and he gets betrayed a lot, so he is wary of everyone.
4383473 ok gotcha.
Well, looks like Spike will get the chance to pay Celestia back for the scars.
If she really hasn't been taken over by the Nightmare, then the vision Celestia saw, she misinterpreted.
4383662 sure
4382762
Remember my OC for this!
th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/129/d/3/mgs__metal_gear_sparkle_by_jave_the_13-d4z4e39.png
All we need is the final battle to look like this:
gameinformer.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Components-ImageFileViewer/CommunityServer-Discussions-Components-Files-14492/8284.twilight_5F00_snake_5F00_v_5F00_boss_5F00_celestia_5F00_by_5F00_johnjoseco_2D00_d4ct4vs.png_2D00_610x0.png
Yeah...so epic it needs this theme:
Revenge is at hand!
Time to die!
4383798 you know I didn't even think of that actually.
Some confusing lines aside, this story is quite good.
4383893 thanks once this arc is done I'll be adding the edited versions
4383837
well you can! that's if you want to of course, it is your fanfic!
to sum all this up with on word AWESOME
did the portal kindof look like this th07.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2014/004/5/4/portal_of_darkness_by_ponymaster256-d70wmpq.png
This is going to be great. I can't wait to see the next chapter. I wonder who Spike is going to kill. I bet her get the elements and Luna while Twi takes on Celestia. I know he will rip Dash apart first because she can think the can take him head on... Yea no lol. The Apple, Pinkie, Luna, finally him and Rarity right before he kills her he says his goodbyes as his mother battle her mentor overhead lol.
Of course, as soon as I look at this all I can see is the errors I missed.
I've been following you since Dragon of the East and with each story and chapter you put out your story telling and writing gets better. I applaud you Slice.