4266485 "Looks at AU tag" Meh, that's why it's called fanfiction guy, I am god of my own fic and I make the characters how they are. If I say Twilight shits rainbows and cries balloons she's do it! As for killing the elements or Luna if you were to read it and pay attention you would see that is not true, Luna walked out of that room bloody and beaten but not dead obviously. So if you're going to get all pissy about a story that's tagged with both a Dark, Mature, and Gore tag you should expect such things to happen In these type of stories!
4266509 well then if you don't like it there's the back button.
Seriously dude it's just a story, Why do you think Twilight wrote a letter for help because she knows she can't take the sisters by herself. If you also read the story would see that the reason why Twilight was able to take Luan so easily is because she used a sealing ring on her horn!
It's not like I'm going to have Twilight come in slap Celelstia and Luna and her family and friends and BOOM everyone is dead.
And where the hell do you see Twilight killing her friends or the sisters or even her family?
NOWHERE!
You biggest argument is about twilight matching the royal sisters but she not! I made her more powerful that shining yes but you got to understand that the Twilight you know no longer exists in the story she died when her friends and family turned their backs on her, only the strong survive and Twilight survived because she is strong! And when did he hold off Sombra? Last I checked it was his WIFE that held him off not Shining.
Besides that I'm not turning Twilight into a insane killer from now on through the story so whatever you THINK Twilight is now just remember to look up at that big ol
4266509 quit your bitching. you probably knew this was gonna happen anyway. i had a feeling it was gonna happen. end of conversation, PERIOD! no flame wars here.
I have to admit, I'm pretty disappointed that you decided that go this route with this fic. I was hoping for Twilight to eventually heal the damage between her and her friends and family. Then we have a nice happy, or at the very least a bittersweet, ending. I mean you already have General Jayei for the revenge thing, so I don't understand why you decided to have the same thing here. One last bit of criticism I have is that this whole brainwash Twilight thing came out of nowhere. For the first 5 chapters, they where completely committed to getting Twilight's forgiveness the right way. There was absolutely no hint at a brainwashing attempt. The brainwash thing came in so suddenly last chapter, I thought that it was just a joke or something like that. Oh well, I'm this far in, so I really don't have much of a choice but staying. Seriously though, I have no idea where you're evening going with this fic.
It always baffles me how people who hate a story will still continue reading it of their own free will. Could use a good editor, mon, but otherwise its a rather interesting read.
Also, she totally should've taken Luna's wings as a trophy.
fun chapter saw clares death coming a mile away, twilight raised so many flags for her and when she started talking in the royal we it was so obvious im surprised twilight didnt figure it out. aside from some sentance structure errors that made this tedious at times i enjoted the chapter well done.
oh and pro tip ignore lordmyth he appears to be perpetually drunk or retarded.
4266553 what the............ i could have sworn a scene depicting her killing everyone came up............. now i am confused.
regardless, still Luna would overpower tiwlight. her horn is bound, but it is unlikely you can even create a ring able to fully bind a regal one. luna has both earth pony power and flight as well to rely upon should her magic be bound. also the likelyhood of her being taken off guard enoguh for the ring to go over her horn is unlikely. create a world where this amount of violence is possible, and you create da world where celestia and luna both are veterans of it. they live far too long not to experience it.
kay so she did not kill them but, however, it still leaves my actual problem. you made celestia a murderer and the mane six ignorant of twilight. they would not be smiling about twilight's friend being harmed, changeling or no. they would be questioning it. because that is who they are; competent and bound to twilight flesh, bone, and soul.
worse of all, is that you made twilight WEAK.................... she was worthy enough to wield the power of a god tree. the Tree looked into her heart and found a great strength of soul and character, and thus she was found wroth for the element of magic. for her to change completely as she has here, to fall this far, is to say that the Tree chose wrong. that tiwlight's heart and soul were so frail that they had to mutate and harden into something unrecognizable. that she could not survive the trials, and thus make the tree wrong about them all. that is the essence of the element bearers. to have the strength to maintain their hearts to not only the oppossites of the elements, but of the elements when they fall into zealot like devotion. the tree chose them because their souls were that strong........ what does it say when tiwlight could not retain even a basic part of herself?
i deleted my other posts............ i should have read it a bit more carefully i guess. but still hold that this has gone to a dangerous place.
Mhm, I have to say, I saw most of this coming especially after last chapter. Well, you definitely have a good fic on your hands and I give you an amazing amount of credit for spinning such a dark tale but I'm afraid that, even though she never killed her friends, I'm still going to have to bail on this. The story is reaching what I call the "Grimoire" point. Based on that story, a point in which all things just become absolutely too FUBAR'd even for my liking.
As I leave, I will upvote since you wrote a uniquely awesome fic. Hope people continue to enjoy it and the ending envokes whatever emotion you want to draw out of them!
4266553 I love the authors that bother to defend their stories. Especially against ragers like a certain somebody... Shows they have the will to show force against unnecessary negative comments.
4266628 .....i will admit i was overtly negative, mainly cause i somehow misread what happened.......... still even without that factored in we are talking about such off characterization. largely with unicorn's ability to somehow defeat superior being.......... why do so many guys think tiwlight could even begin to match the regal sisters?
I doubt a third betrayal will be possible after Twilight is done. Predictions: Cadance is going to be a widow, maybe one element will be spared, and Celestia is going to die. Seems that Luna apparently didn't know about Celestias activities... Kind of wondering if Discord is already there... This story is awesome by the way, but it needs some editing.
4266672 Please go with this story where you want this to go. Maybe write an alternate ending, but I really want to see what you have planned for this story.
As for the chapter itself, I have to admit, I didn't see Clare demise coming at all and it was kind of sick of how the Princess pulled it off.
Also, I must say that of out of all of the Elements at least Fluttershy was the most honest and truthful among them to genuinely apologize to Twilight and mean it. I can tell that she can somewhat be spared,of it all.
So war is coming to the Princess and it's no pony fault but her own.
I also enjoyed the ripping of Rarity through Spike and Gilda as she almost must of had an accident after learning what could have happen to her if she pushed on the subject.
Now I cannot what to see how you'll handle Gilda and Rainbow Dash reunion especially given Dash's attitude and Gilda's relationship with Spike.
I'm still confused at what happen to. Princess. Luna, I mean will she be a wild card in this fight, given that she would know what it is like to be betrayed by those you love ?
I mean I know Princess Luna was in on her sister plan,but did she know the full extend of it and is willing to team up,with Twilight ?
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one.
4266812 alicorn magic you fucker also ask prince about my general Alexander oc he's useing 1 question turns into a convo and we became good mates happens every time
This is too good. I want to see Equestria FUCKING BURN! Kill EVERYONE but don't just kill the Sunwhore, break her, BREAK HER, death is too easy for her.
Getting to read this first thing in the morning sure made my day. more now? :D
Undead Clare, resurrected with a transfusion of a few gallons of Luna's blood and a good old fashioned lightning bolt.
The dark shall be doubled! The angst shall be TRIPLED! THE GORE WILL BE QUADRUPLED!
Also, I vote that only Rarity should be killed. And eaten. Spike and Gilda are omnivores, and Gilda is(I think?) eating for two. Rainbow Dash should be dewinged Pinkie given a Chelsea Grin Applejack hamstrung(Way to go Element of Honest) And Fluttershy be left to say "I told you so".
As for Celestia.. Her horn would probably buy major concessions from Chrysalis.
4266812 I hate to say it ...I really do but she has to stay dead. This isn't some nice romantic shipping story, this is a story of revenge and betrayal. Her death is one of the driving forces for this whole war we are about to have. Twi needs this spark to be a vicious as possible. It could even play out that she slowly start to lose it from the lose. But to just bring her back would lose so much value in it all.So as much as I like her she has to stay down in my opinion for the good of the story. Besides I don't think they can just "bring her back" like it was nothing, the only one that might be able to do that is Discord and who knows what he would want in return for doing that.
4266796 The alternate story route would be what I would think (but I never like recommending that since it is so much more work for the author and ends up changing their original vision of the story). I mean if you want to please all of these people that want her to be brought back to like (even tho I think she serves the story much more dead then alive). I mean "if" you do decide to do the alternate route you could take the story at one section and have it spit and change from there. one side Twi's bloodbath and slow fall into madness and revenge and the other her unalterable path to bring back her love while her past still chase her to try to drag her back. There are a ton of ways it can go, just do what you want and you'll have me in your corner.
4266955 thanks but I've decided..... She dies. Sorry folks but With dead it goes more with the story, don't worry though cause I will have a alternate one where everybody lives and is happy.
4266960 I am happy to have more of your work, butt.... That just doesn't seem right. This isn't one of those "yippie rainbows and candy" stories. The draw of this story is it dark feeling, where is that feeling of hate I oh so loved no more then a day ago when everyone wanted to hang Celestia? That is what they should be feeling right now but only ten fold after what they did to a interesting character. Everyone shouldn't be hung up on trying to bring her back but instead making them all suffer for their actions and then some. They need to feel the fear of messing with the family! Now don't get me wrong. I am sad for her death as well, I would have loved to seen more of the "real" her when she was interesting but that just makes my rage all the more violent. Put out a happy alternate if you must to please everyone, but the dark anger and sadness one is and will always be my one true ending to this tale you weave.
I was re-reading the last chapter when I refreshed and found another one. I love you!
4266458 lol I love me to
YOU FUCKERS I LIKED FUCKING CLAIRE motivateurself.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/exterminatus.jpg
holy shit the feels!
You keep this up I may ask to kiss you!
FUCKING CALL IT....... I knew that changeling on the table had to be Clare......well time for WAR
4266485 "Looks at AU tag"
Meh, that's why it's called fanfiction guy, I am god of my own fic and I make the characters how they are. If I say Twilight shits rainbows and cries balloons she's do it! As for killing the elements or Luna if you were to read it and pay attention you would see that is not true, Luna walked out of that room bloody and beaten but not dead obviously. So if you're going to get all pissy about a story that's tagged with both a Dark, Mature, and Gore tag you should expect such things to happen In these type of stories!
So goodbye and have a great night!
well... it seems that twilight is about to fuck shit up...
why can't i stop reading this...
Oh my god that was sweet. Yesssss... I can't wait for more...
i laughed like a mad man when i read the ending half of this chapter. now, the real fun begins!
4266509 well then if you don't like it there's the back button.
Seriously dude it's just a story, Why do you think Twilight wrote a letter for help because she knows she can't take the sisters by herself. If you also read the story would see that the reason why Twilight was able to take Luan so easily is because she used a sealing ring on her horn!
It's not like I'm going to have Twilight come in slap Celelstia and Luna and her family and friends and BOOM everyone is dead.
And where the hell do you see Twilight killing her friends or the sisters or even her family?
NOWHERE!
You biggest argument is about twilight matching the royal sisters but she not! I made her more powerful that shining yes but you got to understand that the Twilight you know no longer exists in the story she died when her friends and family turned their backs on her, only the strong survive and Twilight survived because she is strong! And when did he hold off Sombra? Last I checked it was his WIFE that held him off not Shining.
Besides that I'm not turning Twilight into a insane killer from now on through the story so whatever you THINK Twilight is now just remember to look up at that big ol
AU TAG!!!!
4266549 sorry I just couldn't thing of the word at that time but the scar is only shallow from a fight.
4266506 What the fu-
4266568 Sorry just trying to talk to this guy but I'm tired and not in the mood for this so see you later guys.
Sorry but the action and emotion in the last two chapters is just flat. Best of luck Author, but I'm out.
4266509
quit your bitching. you probably knew this was gonna happen anyway. i had a feeling it was gonna happen. end of conversation, PERIOD!
no flame wars here.
I have to admit, I'm pretty disappointed that you decided that go this route with this fic. I was hoping for Twilight to eventually heal the damage between her and her friends and family. Then we have a nice happy, or at the very least a bittersweet, ending. I mean you already have General Jayei for the revenge thing, so I don't understand why you decided to have the same thing here.
One last bit of criticism I have is that this whole brainwash Twilight thing came out of nowhere. For the first 5 chapters, they where completely committed to getting Twilight's forgiveness the right way. There was absolutely no hint at a brainwashing attempt. The brainwash thing came in so suddenly last chapter, I thought that it was just a joke or something like that.
Oh well, I'm this far in, so I really don't have much of a choice but staying. Seriously though, I have no idea where you're evening going with this fic.
It always baffles me how people who hate a story will still continue reading it of their own free will. Could use a good editor, mon, but otherwise its a rather interesting read.
Also, she totally should've taken Luna's wings as a trophy.
fun chapter saw clares death coming a mile away, twilight raised so many flags for her and when she started talking in the royal we it was so obvious im surprised twilight didnt figure it out. aside from some sentance structure errors that made this tedious at times i enjoted the chapter well done.
oh and pro tip ignore lordmyth he appears to be perpetually drunk or retarded.
4266553 what the............ i could have sworn a scene depicting her killing everyone came up............. now i am confused.
regardless, still Luna would overpower tiwlight. her horn is bound, but it is unlikely you can even create a ring able to fully bind a regal one. luna has both earth pony power and flight as well to rely upon should her magic be bound. also the likelyhood of her being taken off guard enoguh for the ring to go over her horn is unlikely. create a world where this amount of violence is possible, and you create da world where celestia and luna both are veterans of it. they live far too long not to experience it.
kay so she did not kill them but, however, it still leaves my actual problem. you made celestia a murderer and the mane six ignorant of twilight. they would not be smiling about twilight's friend being harmed, changeling or no. they would be questioning it. because that is who they are; competent and bound to twilight flesh, bone, and soul.
worse of all, is that you made twilight WEAK.................... she was worthy enough to wield the power of a god tree. the Tree looked into her heart and found a great strength of soul and character, and thus she was found wroth for the element of magic.
for her to change completely as she has here, to fall this far, is to say that the Tree chose wrong. that tiwlight's heart and soul were so frail that they had to mutate and harden into something unrecognizable. that she could not survive the trials, and thus make the tree wrong about them all.
that is the essence of the element bearers. to have the strength to maintain their hearts to not only the oppossites of the elements, but of the elements when they fall into zealot like devotion. the tree chose them because their souls were that strong........ what does it say when tiwlight could not retain even a basic part of herself?
i deleted my other posts............ i should have read it a bit more carefully i guess. but still hold that this has gone to a dangerous place.
Mhm, I have to say, I saw most of this coming especially after last chapter. Well, you definitely have a good fic on your hands and I give you an amazing amount of credit for spinning such a dark tale but I'm afraid that, even though she never killed her friends, I'm still going to have to bail on this. The story is reaching what I call the "Grimoire" point. Based on that story, a point in which all things just become absolutely too FUBAR'd even for my liking.
As I leave, I will upvote since you wrote a uniquely awesome fic. Hope people continue to enjoy it and the ending envokes whatever emotion you want to draw out of them!
4266553
I love the authors that bother to defend their stories. Especially against ragers like a certain somebody...
Shows they have the will to show force against unnecessary negative comments.
4266628 .....i will admit i was overtly negative, mainly cause i somehow misread what happened.......... still even without that factored in we are talking about such off characterization. largely with unicorn's ability to somehow defeat superior being..........
why do so many guys think tiwlight could even begin to match the regal sisters?
i will admit i was an unnecessary douche.
Seriously is that what everyone wants a happy ending? If so I can redo this chap and end this story here.
4266607 that scene did come up yesterday by itself them Slice removed it
I doubt a third betrayal will be possible after Twilight is done. Predictions: Cadance is going to be a widow, maybe one element will be spared, and Celestia is going to die. Seems that Luna apparently didn't know about Celestias activities... Kind of wondering if Discord is already there... This story is awesome by the way, but it needs some editing.
4266676 yea cause people we getting confused
And now I, Prince Winter, shall unleash a hell that will make Discord's antics look like acts of friendship.
BEWARE THE ANGER OF A GOD
Is prince winter the one I'm thinking of as in princeofthenorth?
There will be a scene wherein things happen like this...
... and Twilight will bust in like Heath Ledger's Joker!
"Good evening, mares and gentlecolts. We are tonight's entertainment. I only have one question: Where is Princess Celestia?"
Dunno 'bout ya'll, but I'M siding with Don Twilight in this war. DEATH TO THE BETRAYERS!!!!!
poor Clare.... and i really liked her.. with her ironic "Crystal Clare" name and her changeling-ness of awesome.... SPECIAL DEATH TO SUN BUTT!!!!!!
4266672 Please go with this story where you want this to go. Maybe write an alternate ending, but I really want to see what you have planned for this story.
4266672
you are not allowed to do this, whomever gets butthurt shalt be butthurt, but let the ones who like where it tis going like it.
4266738 YES!!! Hahaha! Ok now vote! Should Clare be brought by alicorn magic or state dead!
4266812
YOU. SHALL. REVIVE. HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I COMMANDITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edit: I mean, if you want too... it's just my opinion >.> cus like.... twi needs a partner.... and like... i just... please?
4266672
If there was an idea for a happier ending and you,could pull it off, the by all means....try to pull it off.
As for the chapter itself, I have to admit, I didn't see Clare demise coming at all and it was kind of sick of how the Princess pulled it off.
Also, I must say that of out of all of the Elements at least Fluttershy was the most honest and truthful among them to genuinely apologize to Twilight and mean it. I can tell that she can somewhat be spared,of it all.
So war is coming to the Princess and it's no pony fault but her own.
I also enjoyed the ripping of Rarity through Spike and Gilda as she almost must of had an accident after learning what could have happen to her if she pushed on the subject.
Now I cannot what to see how you'll handle Gilda and Rainbow Dash reunion especially given Dash's attitude and Gilda's relationship with Spike.
I'm still confused at what happen to. Princess. Luna, I mean will she be a wild card in this fight, given that she would know what it is like to be betrayed by those you love ?
I mean I know Princess Luna was in on her sister plan,but did she know the full extend of it and is willing to team up,with Twilight ?
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one.
4266812 alicorn magic you fucker also ask prince about my general Alexander oc he's useing 1 question turns into a convo and we became good mates happens every time
This is too good.
I want to see Equestria FUCKING BURN! Kill EVERYONE but don't just kill the Sunwhore, break her, BREAK HER, death is too easy for her.
Getting to read this first thing in the morning sure made my day.
more now? :D
Revive!
4266812
Undead Clare, resurrected with a transfusion of a few gallons of Luna's blood and a good old fashioned lightning bolt.
The dark shall be doubled! The angst shall be TRIPLED! THE GORE WILL BE QUADRUPLED!
Also, I vote that only Rarity should be killed. And eaten. Spike and Gilda are omnivores, and Gilda is(I think?) eating for two.
Rainbow Dash should be dewinged
Pinkie given a Chelsea Grin
Applejack hamstrung(Way to go Element of Honest)
And Fluttershy be left to say "I told you so".
As for Celestia.. Her horn would probably buy major concessions from Chrysalis.
4266812 I hate to say it ...I really do but she has to stay dead. This isn't some nice romantic shipping story, this is a story of revenge and betrayal. Her death is one of the driving forces for this whole war we are about to have. Twi needs this spark to be a vicious as possible. It could even play out that she slowly start to lose it from the lose. But to just bring her back would lose so much value in it all.So as much as I like her she has to stay down in my opinion for the good of the story. Besides I don't think they can just "bring her back" like it was nothing, the only one that might be able to do that is Discord and who knows what he would want in return for doing that.
4266946 That's what I said! HA!
4266796 The alternate story route would be what I would think (but I never like recommending that since it is so much more work for the author and ends up changing their original vision of the story). I mean if you want to please all of these people that want her to be brought back to like (even tho I think she serves the story much more dead then alive). I mean "if" you do decide to do the alternate route you could take the story at one section and have it spit and change from there. one side Twi's bloodbath and slow fall into madness and revenge and the other her unalterable path to bring back her love while her past still chase her to try to drag her back. There are a ton of ways it can go, just do what you want and you'll have me in your corner.
4266955 thanks but I've decided..... She dies. Sorry folks but
With dead it goes more with the story, don't worry though cause I will have a alternate one where everybody lives and is happy.
4266960
But.. but.. Zombie Clare! Undead Apocalypse! Twilight being devoured by the bug she loves while thinking happy thoughts!
4266960 I am happy to have more of your work, butt.... That just doesn't seem right. This isn't one of those "yippie rainbows and candy" stories. The draw of this story is it dark feeling, where is that feeling of hate I oh so loved no more then a day ago when everyone wanted to hang Celestia? That is what they should be feeling right now but only ten fold after what they did to a interesting character. Everyone shouldn't be hung up on trying to bring her back but instead making them all suffer for their actions and then some. They need to feel the fear of messing with the family! Now don't get me wrong. I am sad for her death as well, I would have loved to seen more of the "real" her when she was interesting but that just makes my rage all the more violent. Put out a happy alternate if you must to please everyone, but the dark anger and sadness one is and will always be my one true ending to this tale you weave.
4266974 maybe next time