One rule you should always follow when trying to be sneaky. Don't try to follow people (or ponies) who are/were paranoid. No one is better at watching their backs then them.
4256847 They apparently aren't enough, given the errors still here.
The two walked inside to a beautiful interior everything was of course cut from the crystals. The were quickly seated while Twilight looked around as a unicorn waitress came up to them glancing at Shining as he smiled.
The two walked inside to a beautiful interior - everything was, of course, cut from the crystals. They were quickly seated {possibly include something else here}.While Twilight looked around,as a unicorn waitress came up to them glancing at Shining as he smiled.
I'm not going to grind through the rest, but I would strongly recommend another few passes with the editors.
While I do agree with Twilight that the kid needed a break, I don't think it was particularly smart or nice of her to ditch Flash and can only see it biting her the back later.
4256941 true I know but I'll be replacing the chaps that are already up with the edited one as soon as I can trust me. They are mostly busy with other folks works as well along with their own stories. So it may take some time before those come out
Well it is nice to see Twi forgive them alittle, I think she does need that so the hate doesn't eat her alive. (that is until she finds out they just didn't want her back to make nice but really need her lol). Having her fine a love interest in Clare i think is a very good idea. I can see how she would have problems finding a mate in the F.City since to all of them she is "The Boss" and it is hard to cross that line, but to Clare she is just Twilight a mare that has had it as hard as her. I find it funny we had the same thoughts about Spike, that he wont forgive Celestia or the mane 6 as easily as Twi might. I mean one he a a dragon and i doubt his honor would let them, and two that was his mother you made go through off of that pain. He will go off on everyone before he even consider forgiving them. Twi better tear into her parents tho for pretty much condemning her daughter and "grandson" to death.Anyway great chapter (love how Gilda can't keep her hands off the Spike man lol) can't wait to see what is coming next for them.
4257149 I agree with Slice on that one, the FlashLight must always be in the "off" position because those batteries are shite, I mean, C'mon flashlight? reaally~? we could do better than that
It is a start, a slow one, but a start none the less.
Still, Shining Armor and his parents have a long way to go,if Twilight is to ever fully forgive them for their actions.
It's going to be interesting to see what Twilight's own biological parents have to say to her after all this time. I'm also curious to see what Twilight's parents think of the Princess after the incident ?
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one.
P.S. I cannot wait to see how Gilda deals with Rarity when it is said of how much Spike love her.
4257569 oh your wish will come true during the equestrian arc. I think you will love what I have in mind. I might even do a sneak peek if enough people want it
4258379 Man you are cruel for all the teasing you are doing, I already can't wait to see what is coming next. I can only picture all the way the shit will hit the fan with everyone when they do make it back to old "home" I am sure Pinkie will be the one to take it the hardest. And Shy will just shit herself when she has a adult dragon pissed at her lol. How they all will react when two of their old best friends stop by for a visit will be great. But we all know it will really be epic when they go to confront Celestia. I think we will be lucky (or not lol) if Spike doesn't charge at her with intent to kill only having Twi hold him back lol.
4257921 I am wondering about her parents as well. They can't put it all on the princess tho because they were right there when she did it and did nothing but look at them with disgust like the rest of them did. I think that is what they really need to answer for more then anything.
Even so I think her parents and brother will have a easier time being forgiven then her "friends" will. They chose to not only dismiss but where right there to see her be cast out to her death without even raising a hoof. The elements of harmony abandon one of their friends. (which in hindsight that was really dumb to cast out the anchor for their power lol)
Oh I am praying not just Gilda but Spike also go off on her. I want to here Gilda tell her what she gave up when she couldn't look past what Spike is and how he is too good for her. (throw in calling her a slut here and there for good measure lol) But when Spike break it down on her and she loses it that is what I am dying to see as well lol.
4257920 yea that would never work in this story, i think his chose of love interest is perfect for a slightly damage Twi to be with someone else with just as much of a troubled past. She would understand why Twi does what she does because she has always been under the thumb of monsters her whole life.
Im still loving this story, thank you for the updates! Im really looking forward to Celestia and the others... but mainly Celestia and Luna... should be intense! Keep up the amazing work and please oh pleas don't let this be another one of those amazing stories the get abandoned! I kinda imagine that by the time she gets to Celestia she would have opened her heart so much by then that it may go smoothly... but I doubt that!
4257921 And just so you will know... for what they did to her, she can never forget or forgive, but what she can do is move forward and start anew! I hope the author understands that too! You just cant forgive something of that magnitude, you may no longer hate them for it, and you may even love them again but you will never forgive them for what they did! Its not just that you don't forgive, its that you can't forgive and should not forgive on a matter like that! Doing so is saying "Its cool that you all just turned your backs on me, that I got raped, and had to kill or be killed, not to mention all the other horrible things that my son and I had to live through... No, its cool, I would do it all over again..." ... but next time with style sorry could not help myself on that last bit lol
4258598 oh don't worry this isn't being abandoned I'm on a roll right now with ideas and even you guys are giving me some but I hope you can prepare yourselves in the coming Equestrian arc for grimdark.
4258618 Oh im ready! Im willing and wanting this now! oh is Clare going to travel with Twi now? I hope so, she could help Twi keep her head on strait! and if she is with her hopefully someone wont think and or do something stupid just because shes with her... and thats me assuming that they will be in a relationship together at some point
4258669 oh yes you do know how to keep people wanting and waiting, don't you! That is a really good Teaser pic! I have no words for just how much im excited for this story!
PS: your post with the joker laughing with this pic is really creepy!
Loving the story so far. I'm thinking Twilight is some sortra changling, with the blue eyes and all, or mebbe similar magic.
I did find one issue with the writing in your severe lack of punctuation. Far too many run on sentences that would be fine with a few commas to adjust the pacing.
4257149 Meh. I really don't care about shipping unless there is canonical evidence to support it (I.e: Rainbow Dash X Wave Chill(hug at the end of Sonic Rainboom))
*smack resound through mostly quiet house.*
Hilerity insues and facehoofs are raining. But still nice.
A camping trip? With badass Twilight? You're up to something, aren't you Slice
One rule you should always follow when trying to be sneaky. Don't try to follow people (or ponies) who are/were paranoid. No one is better at watching their backs then them.
Amazing! I LOVE THIS STORY!!!
THIS IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS!!!
4256735
4256651
4256689
4256681 Look again cause I just updated another few hundred words, sorry bout that!
4256751 I love it. I still think you're planning something...
Much better. And the daw! Its overpowering!
slowly but surely...she's receiving closure.
4256655 added a bit more to the story that I forgot to earlier.
4256798 if you click the more button on the summery you'll see the 5 editors I have
4256770 maybe
4256751
ಠ_ಠ
YEAH, I have read that part. Try not to forget nothing when adding a new chapter please.
Not for making you feel bad.
4256847 They apparently aren't enough, given the errors still here.
The two walked inside to a beautiful interior - everything was, of course, cut from the crystals. They were quickly seated {possibly include something else here}. While Twilight looked around, as a unicorn waitress came up to them glancing at Shining as he smiled.
I'm not going to grind through the rest, but I would strongly recommend another few passes with the editors.
While I do agree with Twilight that the kid needed a break, I don't think it was particularly smart or nice of her to ditch Flash and can only see it biting her the back later.
4256941 true I know but I'll be replacing the chaps that are already up with the edited one as soon as I can trust me. They are mostly busy with other folks works as well along with their own stories. So it may take some time before those come out
4256979 Ah, that explains it. Fair enough, though it may be a good idea to add an authors note mentioning that this / these are unedited chapters.
"while she zipped up the tent and put the fire out."
Twilight can put out a fire that is outside of a zipped up tent?
Now THAT is magic!
4257026 I know right
I wonder why I get the feeling that there is going to be some flashlight?
4257113 NO! Never in one of my stories will that pair ever exist
4257149 And here is the part where I laugh hysterically
Well it is nice to see Twi forgive them alittle, I think she does need that so the hate doesn't eat her alive. (that is until she finds out they just didn't want her back to make nice but really need her lol). Having her fine a love interest in Clare i think is a very good idea. I can see how she would have problems finding a mate in the F.City since to all of them she is "The Boss" and it is hard to cross that line, but to Clare she is just Twilight a mare that has had it as hard as her. I find it funny we had the same thoughts about Spike, that he wont forgive Celestia or the mane 6 as easily as Twi might. I mean one he a a dragon and i doubt his honor would let them, and two that was his mother you made go through off of that pain. He will go off on everyone before he even consider forgiving them. Twi better tear into her parents tho for pretty much condemning her daughter and "grandson" to death.Anyway great chapter (love how Gilda can't keep her hands off the Spike man lol) can't wait to see what is coming next for them.
4257149 I agree with Slice on that one, the FlashLight must always be in the "off" position because those batteries are shite, I mean, C'mon flashlight? reaally~? we could do better than that
Loving the new chapters, they are AMAAAAZING~ I just love this story... you can have / 10 hearts
you win.... out of 5
4257149
Amen to that... I prefer walking in the dark, too.
It is a start, a slow one, but a start none the less.
Still, Shining Armor and his parents have a long way to go,if Twilight is to ever fully forgive them for their actions.
It's going to be interesting to see what Twilight's own biological parents have to say to her after all this time. I'm also curious to see what Twilight's parents think of the Princess after the incident ?
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one.
P.S. I cannot wait to see how Gilda deals with Rarity when it is said of how much Spike love her.
4257569 oh your wish will come true during the equestrian arc. I think you will love what I have in mind. I might even do a sneak peek if enough people want it
4258379 Man you are cruel for all the teasing you are doing, I already can't wait to see what is coming next. I can only picture all the way the shit will hit the fan with everyone when they do make it back to old "home" I am sure Pinkie will be the one to take it the hardest. And Shy will just shit herself when she has a adult dragon pissed at her lol. How they all will react when two of their old best friends stop by for a visit will be great. But we all know it will really be epic when they go to confront Celestia. I think we will be lucky (or not lol) if Spike doesn't charge at her with intent to kill only having Twi hold him back lol.
4257921 I am wondering about her parents as well. They can't put it all on the princess tho because they were right there when she did it and did nothing but look at them with disgust like the rest of them did. I think that is what they really need to answer for more then anything.
Even so I think her parents and brother will have a easier time being forgiven then her "friends" will. They chose to not only dismiss but where right there to see her be cast out to her death without even raising a hoof. The elements of harmony abandon one of their friends. (which in hindsight that was really dumb to cast out the anchor for their power lol)
Oh I am praying not just Gilda but Spike also go off on her. I want to here Gilda tell her what she gave up when she couldn't look past what Spike is and how he is too good for her. (throw in calling her a slut here and there for good measure lol) But when Spike break it down on her and she loses it that is what I am dying to see as well lol.
4257920 yea that would never work in this story, i think his chose of love interest is perfect for a slightly damage Twi to be with someone else with just as much of a troubled past. She would understand why Twi does what she does because she has always been under the thumb of monsters her whole life.
Im still loving this story, thank you for the updates!
Im really looking forward to Celestia and the others... but mainly Celestia and Luna... should be intense!
Keep up the amazing work and please oh pleas don't let this be another one of those amazing stories the get abandoned!
I kinda imagine that by the time she gets to Celestia she would have opened her heart so much by then that it may go smoothly... but I doubt that!
4257921 And just so you will know... for what they did to her, she can never forget or forgive, but what she can do is move forward and start anew!
I hope the author understands that too! You just cant forgive something of that magnitude, you may no longer hate them for it, and you may even love them again but you will never forgive them for what they did! Its not just that you don't forgive, its that you can't forgive and should not forgive on a matter like that!
Doing so is saying "Its cool that you all just turned your backs on me, that I got raped, and had to kill or be killed, not to mention all the other horrible things that my son and I had to live through... No, its cool, I would do it all over again..." ... but next time with style sorry could not help myself on that last bit lol
4258598 oh don't worry this isn't being abandoned I'm on a roll right now with ideas and even you guys are giving me some but I hope you can prepare yourselves in the coming Equestrian arc for grimdark.
4258618
Oh im ready! Im willing and wanting this now!
oh is Clare going to travel with Twi now? I hope so, she could help Twi keep her head on strait! and if she is with her hopefully someone wont think and or do something stupid just because shes with her... and thats me assuming that they will be in a relationship together at some point
4257149 thank you, I am no fan of "Flashlight"
4258651 me either
4258405
4258634 Here you go just a little peek at a pic I'm gonna use in the Equestrian arc
th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/186/7/7/let_me_tell_you_about_friendship_by_ferrettea-d561lhj.png
4258669 oh yes you do know how to keep people wanting and waiting, don't you! That is a really good Teaser pic!
I have no words for just how much im excited for this story!
PS: your post with the joker laughing with this pic is really creepy!
4258695 I know right!?
Loving the story so far. I'm thinking Twilight is some sortra changling, with the blue eyes and all, or mebbe similar magic.
I did find one issue with the writing in your severe lack of punctuation. Far too many run on sentences that would be fine with a few commas to adjust the pacing.
4257149 Meh. I really don't care about shipping unless there is canonical evidence to support it (I.e: Rainbow Dash X Wave Chill(hug at the end of Sonic Rainboom))
4258598
Don't forget the Mare-Do-Well incident, I'm hoping that along with Lesson Zero gets a mention in this tale.
4258659 I don't like Flashlight either. Hell, I don't like the mane six getting together with guys unless they are in a crossover like spider-man
4276078 but I hate flash too he is my all time low on mlp characters
4258663 that about the same thing I did after reading what dragonpony said
I'm guessing that twilight either has her own version of NM or she took NMs spirits for the power to overthrow any boss and gang that challenged her
If I remembered reading correctly Twi's kids are adoptions right and if so Does Shinning And Cadence know that.
Does Twilight ever stop acting like
And begin acting like a normal individual again?
10277268
Hey the Doctor was a normal individual..... on Gallifrey....... I think?