Spike's 5 Rarities

by trahzo

Chapter 2: Spelusive! Let's Just get This Over With.

Oooh God, Jesus, Arceus, Celestia, Magical Creator of the world from Strider, Creator god of Light Horakthy, and Bob from that cartoon: God, the Devil, and Bob, please allow me the strength to write this one Yaoi chapter. Seriously, no problems against gays or anything but I really just wanna get this over with! Listen everyone, here's an interesting piece of info I must share with you! I have a normal brain! I don't go Hnnnnnnng when I see or hear something incredibly cute! I don't get a boner from 2 girls making out, having lesbo sex, or wrestling in the mud! I happen to really hate Twerking & Gangam Style! Finally, I choose The Playstation because damn, you XBOX people are real jerks. Anyway let's get this damn over with. Also, if you don't agree with any of what I have just said, you can just un-follow me now!

"It sure is wonderful that we're finally together!" Elusive said with bedroom eyes.

"Yeah, I thought this would never happen, but I stuck to my guns till the end!" Spike replied with a happy tone.

They stared into eachother's eyes. The scene attracted the attention of many peers!

"How gay, but not in the offencive way!" Said Bon-bon.

"I know, it so romantic!" Said Lyra while giggling.

"Alright you 2 hot dogs, here's your smoothy! with a cherry on top & 2 straws." Pound Cake said. "(I don't care if love does conquer all, no offence but man do I think gay men were a horrible idea!)"

"Thanks Pound." they said in happy voices.

"(shiver!)"

Reminds me of when some idiot gave me the disgusting picture in my head of Miley Cyrus twerking! Wow, 2 things I really do not like put together to become something that makes people hire assassins. spike and Elusive licked the strawberry whipped cream till they were at the cherry. Then they both ate one half of the cherry.

"Hey Buttons, are you alright?" Sweetie Belle asked her date.

"Sorry Sweetie Bot, but it looks so hypnotic that I can't look away."

"You just called me Sweetie Bot you jerk!" Then she got-up, and walked away in a fit of rage.

"Wait, I'm sorry!" then Buttons chased after her.

They drank the smoothie and then licked the saliva off of each other's straws. Spike held Elusive's hoof in his claw under the table.

"Here's you're chocolate crepes!" Pumpkin Cake said. "(EEEEEEEEH! Yaoi in my home!)"

Then A teenage Stallion otaku walks up to the 2.

"Aah I see it's just like the Sekirei harem where one of them is a dude!"

"Yes, that's a great way of thinking nerd!"

"Brohoof dude!"

"Maybe later, right now, I just wanna finish my 1st date."

"Alright, have fun." then he walked off with his Waifu figurine. (I apologize for those who feel offended because they married inanimate objects.)

Then Elusive decided to spice things up by using his magic to make Spike lay on the table face-up, causing the parfait glass and the plate with the crepes to fall off & break. All the Yaoi fans then squeed! Elusive was now face-to-face with Spike

"Hope you enjoy this sweet treat!" Oh God, just relax Nathan, you can get through this! Just recite your saying & you can write the final scene in a flash! Repeat it a dozen times: What clams up, must calm down!

*1 dozen times later*

Okay, Spike licked his lips ready for Elusive's vanilla lips (I'm saving marshmallow lips for normal Rarity). Elusive went in, tongue ready for entrance-What clams up, must calm down-into the dragon's upper cave! (I know what you're thinking "BOOOOO Nathan, that pun really sucked!") Spike stuck his tongue out as well so thier mouths may interlock! As soon as they entered & locked in, all the girls screamed like female otaku, while the real otaku just thought of it like Minato's harem from Sekirei (The fact that there's one guy in the harem is what is allowing me to stay standing as I finish this chapter. Trust me, I do not hate on gays, it's just that when they kiss, ugh, I'm sorry if my complaining is ruining this chapter & you've probably left by now.) So after a while, they finished, they were bucked out for being so explicit in front of the children that were there.

"This date has been fantastic!" Elusive complimented.

"Yeah, I thought it was great as well. See you later, well the you I'm going out with next." Spike said as he waved goodbye.

Later that night...

"Looks like it's my turn darlings! Ooh Spikey-poo! Tomorrow night, we will fly dance the night away!" Said Dragon Rarity, while she ballroom danced with a mannekin. The other 4 Rarities chortled at her.

Author's Note:

Damn, how many kinds of people exactly did I just offend?

Comments

[LordTalon]

I want to say this bad, but I just can't!

[KARLOS1234IFY]

4050740 This sucks.

[IkioStar]

To answer the question in your Author's Note on Chapter Two....All of them. Just...all of them. Especially the grammar Nazis, and literature buffs.

[TreacheryX2]

....img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130925213523/vampirediaries/images/a/a7/Amazingnieves.gif

[Geoice]

I think a tomboy rarity would have gone better

[OpaliteWindTheCryptid]

Dirk Strider wrote this ironically, thats my headcannon and I'm sticking to it!