Everyone has heard the stories of Fillydelphia, from the Stable Dweller herself down to the lowliest slaves that survived the unspeakable horrors and hardships. Many forget those who weren't slaves or slavers, but they have stories too...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Glad you like it!
And since you asked, here's the next chapter.
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Finally!!!!
*insert the ringing of bells and an angelic choir*
I know what I'm doing tomorrow if I have downtime at work :D
Yes! An update :3
Loving this story so far!
Fillydelphia was a very poor choice for a moral character to find employment at. With the odds stacked this unevenly, everyone will lose.
Wonderful chapter! My only concern might be that Rusty Rivet was only introduced to be axed off later for dramatic effect. Just speculation.
I meant to comment chapters ago, but let it slide and it never did happen.
I think you've set this story up to be, I think, a very poignant look into PTSD. Everything from the inherent racial separation of griffons to ponies - completely aside from slaver or slave - brings a very real degree of "us" and "them" mentality, and that is well followed through. The very real issue of sleep deprivation, self inflicted or not, and its effects on the psyche is fantastically portrayed. It almost begins to drag the story along, but I feel you timed the escalation of events quite well on that account. It felt relateable rather than a pacing flaw. I certainly felt a weight drop into my gut the moment he realized the rifle had slipped. I don't think any military member hasn't had at least one "Oh fuck, where's my rifle?!" moment, even if most of the time its right beside you, right where you left it. Having that happen for real would be fucking horrifying, and its just realistic enough to be one of those fears that embeds itself pretty deep.
Intentional or not, the parallels with a member of a first world nation joining a military and traveling across most of a world, for all intents and purposes, is one I hadn't expected to be so prevalent when I started reading this. He feels out of his element because he very much is, especially when compared with the veterans.
I have to admit, I cannot guess your end goal. On the one hand, you're equipped for a very unique view of the Battle for Filly, ultimately... but where will he be when that happens, I wonder...
I'm certainly hooked. When people ask me for a "griffon fic" I don't hesitate to suggest Longtalons. You do them well.
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It's always nice to hear things like that, and I'm very happy that you've enjoyed the story so far! I'm also glad that the parallels to reality feel believable since I don't have any personal experience with any of this stuff (sleep deprivation aside, somewhat).
I wish I had more time to write these days, but hopefully within a week or two the next chapter will be up and we can get one step further along.
So things that dosn't kill you: Tomatoes! But people in the dark ages thought that they did, so that is why you throw tomatoes at bad actors. By the way did you aim for the mouth way back then in an attempt to kill them.
The more you know!
I really should have read this before writing The Storm. Two of my characters are former Fillydelphia Talons. One, Gritt, was born into it, and was a twelve-year-old fledgling during the events of Fallout: Equestria. The other, Crimson (No relation to the caravan, he'll get mad if you ask) had been under Stern's contract since before she worked for Red Eye.
It's eerie how similar Crimson's personal story is to Kazimir's, someone who's good intentions repeatedly got punished by shitty circumstances and bad luck, Fillydelphia eroding their soul. Crim gave into it almost completely. I hope Kaz fares better.