I am trying to get a reaction. That is all.
This is in the same perspective of MLD.
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redpackman4421
Joined 14th Mar, 2012 ·
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Wow. Rainbow Splatter O
Nice effort, but the style isn't close enough to MLD and it's just not quite believable...of course, believability is a fickle thing in a story about a rainbow pony from another world showing up in ours to begin with, so maybe I'm too critical. But "his job keeps him busy" seems like a really weak excuse (how many parents barely see their kids, they don't decide to off them just because of that), and if he did decide to kill her, why wouldn't he take her home and give her a cleaner, more certain death with a knife? I'd accept that he was afraid he'd lose his nerve, but since you didn't go into it just seems like one of several things that were glossed over to make the plot happen the way you wanted. Also, I think you over-played how "perfect" he thought she was just a bit.
Other than that, the writing itself isn't bad at all. I just wasn't feeling it. Too OCD to look past these things. On the whole, say a 3/5.
I apologize for the poor righting and general lack of flow. I've been really stressed these days and I needed something to vent my problems out with. So, I decided to take my exasperation out on a poor young baby rainbow dash. You're right with your critiques though, and I appreciate that you took the time to comment. I probably shouldn't have published this, and just kept it to myself in times of stress. But then again, I suppose if any of you ever want to relieve yourself of some stress, you could always read this over. Strange how destroying innocence can make you feel so good. Then again, maybe I'm just crazy!
, I needed to take the sadness out of my mind, and put a bit of crazy in there 
.
Once more, I didn't put a lot of time in to this, (half hour tops). Also, since the actual MLD fic just made me cry so many tears of manliness
Anyway, thanks for reading and check out my new fic! I'll be spending a lot more time on that one and its not quite as dark as this!
Thanks again!
357601
...
I understand all of that far better than I might wish. I don't exactly find it easier to deal with this than MLD, but I'm the same way about certain other things...
Well, I at least am glad that you published it. I...was going to say I enjoyed it, but that's really the wrong word.
Let's just say that I felt my time reading it was well spent. I'll definitely take a look at your new fic some time, you has potentials...
And here's hoping life starts treating you better.
By the way, it was purest luck that I stumbled upon your new fic and this comment due to checking your user page because I knew the name sounded familiar...in the future, use the reply button so I get a notification, 'kay? You should see >> followed by a number in the comment field if it's working correctly...
358921 thanks for the heads up!