Meeting The Elements
"Uhh..." 'CRAP! What do I say! They cant know I'm a changeling!!!!'
"Ya are a princess... Aren't ya?" Apple Bloom asked
"I-I" I then realized i still had a way, "I..." *Sniff* "I don't like to talk about it!" 'and cue the tears'
"Oh well ah am really sorry for askin'..."
"Oh.. Its all right I just need to get over it... By never talking about it again.... Ever" Ok now I just need to meet the bearers of the elements so they can direct me to their ruler, "I can't join you club, but i do need to meet the bearers of the elements o-"
"I can show you to Rainbow Dash!!!!" Scootaloo said, cutting me off
"And we can show ya to our big sis's" Apple Bloom added, looking from Sweetie Belle to me before squeezing Sweetie Belle firmly against her side.
"Yeah! They are Loyalty, Honesty, and Generosity!!!" Sweetie Belle chimed in after escaping Apple Bloom's tight hug
"Ok lets just get there fast!" I said running ahead of them in the direction they came from
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
About three hours of walking, and the three filly's telling me about the six elements and their bearers, we walked mainly in circles when we got lost, but we finally found our way to ponyville. I immediately went to Twilight Sparkles home, despite what a certain 'Cutie Mark Crusader' thought about me going to Rainbow Dash instead of an egg head
"SPIKE!!!!!!!!" Twilight screeched after I came to her door and said I was a princess and needed her help "Get PRINCESS-, um what was your name again?"
"Kryna, and don't call me princess please"
"SPIKE!!"
"I'm right here!" he replied, yawning afterwords "Why'd you wake me up from my nap? I was dreaming about gems. Mmmmmmm tasty tasty gems..."
"Get Pri--- Kryna a daisy sandwich, please" Twilight said through clenched teeth
Just as spike got up to go, there was a knock on the door. Before twilight could answer it, Princess Celestia burst through the door and looked me dead in the eye, she said "I know of your kind and you are NOT welcome!"
I swallowed nervously. My mouth hanging open and eyes wide as Princess Celestia stared me down. 'I'm going to end up a changeling splattered on the wall... aren't I?'
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i hope Princess Celestia dose not kill Kryna she maybe a changeling but she is a good changeling not a bad one and that ok
Princess Celestia doesnt seem to show her calmness today.
Nope!
Maybe.
Maybe she's having a bad day?
I applaud that you managed to write a short chapter where things actually get done! Though i'd advise giving at least a little time for each scene to sink in before you transition. I mean, this clocks in at 408 words, so a few extra lines of description or dialogue aren't exactly going to bog down the pacing.
The first chapters pacing was pretty good, this one was somewhat rushed in comparison. I'm assuming that's because you were sick as you mentioned, and felt pressure to release a new chapter. I can sympathize with sick-y "bleurgh" syndrome, it can be hard to do much of anything creative in that state.
I'll hand out some advice I think most people on this site would agree with. If it comes down to annoying readers by releasing the chapter later, or releasing a cut down or incomplete version, your readers will only disappointed temporarily while they wait, but if you publish the chapter and it's not up to your own standards then it'll effect the quality of the story permanently. Or at least until you go back and fix it. I'd be happy to wait longer if it meant you had time to make an even better story.
Now on to the more specific comments
I can understand what you were going for there, with Apple Bloom putting her arm around Sweetie to show she was talking about both of them. While side-hugging is a technically accurate description of what she did, it doesn't really capture the spirit or character of the action. You can use different descriptions for mundane actions if it helps inform the reader of what it's significance is, or helps to add depth to the scene. Side-hugging might become
Just little details that give the reader a better idea of whats happening, it shows how the character communicate to each other.
I's like that should be capitalized, it's not a huge deal if you forget to do it once or twice in a big chapter, that's just typos. But if it keeps happening over and over you notice it quickly, then it becomes a problem because it distracts the reader from what they should be paying attention to, the story.
Most of the time if it's a small number like that you'd want to spell it out, it's usually more comfortable to read then just a plain numeral.
It should be their there, instead of there, they're quite a tricky set of words. There, their and they're, the difference between them can save a lot of confusion, just something to check for when you writing, using the wrong there/their/they're can completely change the meaning of a sentence. I'm guessing this was just a mistake, but in case you're ever confused about them, just google them, there are a million guides on how to use them properly.
Use of multiple exclamation points is personal preference, especially when your writing fiction. But using that many exclamation points in any casual conversation can be considered an obnoxious writing habit. In fact the author Terry Pratchett made fun of the practice, where the number of exclamation points someone uses goes up the closer they are to being stark raving mad. As is said in some of his books
All caps and multiple exclamation points is usually used by writers who are still trying to get the hang of things and how to explain what their characters are feeling. As a general rule, one, or at the very most two exclamation points should be fine for almost any situation.
Once again it depends, but most of the time you would use little sound effects like that for comedic effect, rather than in a dramatic situation, as it's a much more cartoonish sort of way to describe it. When you look at *gulp* it's a kind of funny little sound effect. In a serious context you might want to change it to an actual description of the event from the characters view, as it can give the reader more relevant information. If you describe it then you can not only say that Kryna gulped, but also why she did, and what kind of 'gulp' it was.
A fearful one?
A sort of realizing 'oh crap' moment?
Or you could even use as a part of her internal monologue type thing, giving a more self-commentating self aware vibe. Like the character is aware of the gulping cliche and that's what their mind jumps to when their in big trouble.
Anyway, the plot is starting to move along, I'll be really excited to see how you handle the upcoming scene with Kryna and Celestia. Good luck on finding time to write!
3827004 Thanks for the feedback i am in fact sick with the flu thats going around
, and i appreciate you helping me 
3831559 I'm glad you find it helpful, hope you get better soon! Or at least don't die, that's pretty much a good goal in any situation.
EquineWhoDoesStuff has it down pat. The chapter gets the story to where you want Kryna to be, but it does feel rushed.
If you are ever six while working on a story, take a break
Your work will wait and turn out better, which represents you better too