Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon extort Scootaloo into becoming their slave for a day. It gets bad, but then gets a lot better for Scootaloo when her big sister arrives to mete out justice to naughty bullies.
I am loving this. I usually hate slave play or overt domination, but then you go and make the fillies pay for it. Righteous justice, and even some feels from Scoots. Silver Spoon was VERY well done, and Diamond is still a bitch.
For real, for being a fetish piece with foal fooling, you have made a really compelling narrative, and I am hooked. Great job, duder.
Good story my friend. One thing I have to mention though. When Scoots and Silver went out of the clubhouse and had a talk you wrote
Diamond Tiara nodded
Since she was still inside, felling her rear pulsating into the room, I think you meant Silver Spoon. Otherwise I really liked it when RD came in and saved the day. And now on to the next chapter.
Hmm, yet again nice work with the character building, and kudos for keeping the eroticism low here. Good job with the frankness of the very realistic element of the voyeurism, and Scoot's thoughts as she experienced the power reversal. But you through me a for the auto-erotic moment though, sorry. Your work definitely shows the two faced side of bully and victim in Scoots thoughts, and Dash's very mature dialogue on the subject of Di and Sil's punishment was nicely handled. For the King Sombra reference, very good point illustration there as to just how low a level Di's behavior had reached.
No change on the up/down vote yet, your sound psychological portrayal of the Vitim-Bully dynamic is inching you closer to a possible fave, especially if I've commented on every chapter I've read so far, and for that I'm gonna keep an eye on you.
That was a crazy awesome dynamic, how Rainbow Dash came in and just single-hoofedly ran the plot of the story in this chapter. Because she's a grown-up. I could perfectly feel and understand Scoot's and Tiara's and Silver Spoon's reverence/fear of Rainbow Dash. It's like, as a grown-up descending into the affairs of kids, she was a god. It was crazy. (of course, it's not just because she's a grown-up; it's also because she's Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash kicks ass)
Oh are we going for a SilverLoo or ScootaSpoon ship? I could tottally see as the dominant and Silver a submissive with the way Scoots got off on watching Tiara get hers
I find it ironic and rather hypocritical that Dash is so outraged over Diamond and Silver making Scoots their indentured servant when she did the VERY SAME THING to Fluttershy in "Trade Yah". granted there was no physical abuse but the concept was the same accept Scoots opted to work off her own debt Diamond claimed she owed, where as Fluttershy agreed to pay Dash'es debt with several weeks if not months of service.
"I'm, umm..." Diamond Tiara started, but fell silent once more. She sniffled and wiped a hoof across her face, only making the mess worse. "I'm... sorry."
I am loving this. I usually hate slave play or overt domination, but then you go and make the fillies pay for it. Righteous justice, and even some feels from Scoots. Silver Spoon was VERY well done, and Diamond is still a bitch.
For real, for being a fetish piece with foal fooling, you have made a really compelling narrative, and I am hooked. Great job, duder.
Good story my friend.
One thing I have to mention though.
When Scoots and Silver went out of the clubhouse and had a talk you wrote
Since she was still inside, felling her rear pulsating into the room, I think you meant Silver Spoon.
Otherwise I really liked it when RD came in and saved the day.
And now on to the next chapter.
Dragon
Hmm, yet again nice work with the character building, and kudos for keeping the eroticism low here. Good job with the frankness of the very realistic element of the voyeurism, and Scoot's thoughts as she experienced the power reversal. But you through me a for the auto-erotic moment though, sorry. Your work definitely shows the two faced side of bully and victim in Scoots thoughts, and Dash's very mature dialogue on the subject of Di and Sil's punishment was nicely handled. For the King Sombra reference, very good point illustration there as to just how low a level Di's behavior had reached.
No change on the up/down vote yet, your sound psychological portrayal of the Vitim-Bully dynamic is inching you closer to a possible fave, especially if I've commented on every chapter I've read so far, and for that I'm gonna keep an eye on you.
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH YEAH!!!!! LOVED THIS CHAPTER YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH THIS IS THE BEST CHAPTER EVER YEEEEAAAAHHH
Commence read.
Bridges being built.
Though plenty of speculation on Rainbow.
That was a crazy awesome dynamic, how Rainbow Dash came in and just single-hoofedly ran the plot of the story in this chapter. Because she's a grown-up. I could perfectly feel and understand Scoot's and Tiara's and Silver Spoon's reverence/fear of Rainbow Dash. It's like, as a grown-up descending into the affairs of kids, she was a god. It was crazy.
(of course, it's not just because she's a grown-up; it's also because she's Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash kicks ass)
4051228 Calm down Bulk! Did you take your meds today?
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
Oh are we going for a SilverLoo or ScootaSpoon ship? I could tottally see as the dominant and Silver a submissive with the way Scoots got off on watching Tiara get hers
My only nitpic is the use of "cos" in this chapter. It should be cause, or 'cause (if you're using a shorthand of because.).
Still well done Silver Spoon, and this is a decent fic. You're characterizations are well done.
I find it ironic and rather hypocritical that Dash is so outraged over Diamond and Silver making Scoots their indentured servant when she did the VERY SAME THING to Fluttershy in "Trade Yah". granted there was no physical abuse but the concept was the same accept Scoots opted to work off her own debt Diamond claimed she owed, where as Fluttershy agreed to pay Dash'es debt with several weeks if not months of service.
and that's canon.
Just desserts