Part 1
Canterlot Castle December 24, 2013 9:34 PM
It was calm clear night in the Castle, and Celestia was feeling very good about herself. The barrier was moving at a modest pace and was slowly gaining more and more speed, Twilight and the rest of the elements had come to the castle to have a nice dinner with herself and Luna, and best of all the smelly humans had gone away from the barrier and all her royal guard ponies so the casualties where practically zero.
She thought for a moment as she rounded the halls to the main dining hall about why the humans had apparently moved back. Something about one of their silly human holidays, she had heard it was about good will, and peace on earth. But Celestia and her ponies knew what it was really about, just a reason for humans to be greedier.
As she reached the door to the dining hall it was opened by a guard and she saw all of the elements and her sister in small conversations.
“Princess!” Twilight the newly made alicorn princess said waving at her as the rest stopped their conversation and looked at her.
“Sister come we and the elements are ready to eat!” Luna said looking out at all the food.
“Yes sorry I’m late, the humans UN had wanted to talk about stopping this war and saying how this is the season for us to stop all this horrible war. Celestia said with a small amused smile on her face.
“Really don’t they get we are doing this for them? I mean we are making them pure and a chance to have a better life? Why can they see that?” Rainbow said right before taking a huge bit of a salad she had in front of her.
“So, true Rainbow darling!” Rarity said taking a sip of her wine
“Oh let’s not talk about that now you guys!” Pinkie said eating her third cherry pie
“Pinkies right. Ah say we just have a good old time.” Applejack said
“W- well how about just a toast to helping all the hu-humans?” Fluttershy said hiding most of her face under her mane when everpony turned to look at her.
“A most glorious idea Fluttershy!” Luna said filling her glass. “A toast for helping all the humans!” Moving her glass to the center of the table.
“Cheers!” But sadly the rest of the ponies glasses would not reach Luna’s as the door to the dining hall burst open with a royal guard pony running in with a black eye, and a bloody nose.
“Your majesties! A human is in your throne room demanding to talk to you! We tried to remove him but he is much stronger then he appears.” The guard said with his head bowed.
“Well guard why didn’t you just use a bottle of potion on him?” Twilight said with a slightly worried look on her face.
“We did try but whenever the potion came in contact with him it would catch fire then it to burn and turn to ash.” The guard said with his heard still bowed.
The rest of the room was silent thinking about how impossible this was but with how bad the stallion looked they had to believe him.
“Guard have all of Canterlot on high alert, I want this city locked down. I with my sister and the elements will see what this is about.” Celestia said taking control of the situation
“Of course your highness!” The guard said before running out of the room.
“Quickly we must see what this is all about!” Luna said before lighting her horn and teleporting all of them to right in front of the throne room doors which now had a large hole in it. Like a manticore had ran straight at it.
The group of eight made their way through the large whole to see that the guard was telling the truth. In front of them siting in Celestia’s throne was a human male, wearing a red suit with a red hot on his head to match, he had a large white beard and large belly.
“Who the hay are you!?!” Rainbow yelling at the human.
The human then then let loss a loud laugh nearly as strong as the royal Canterlot voice. “Well Ms. Dash I go by many names like Saint Nick, Father Christmas, etc., but I would prefer if you would just call me Santa.” He said with a young joyful smile on his face.
“Wait Santa like the fake human who gives presents to human children?” Pinkie said with what appeared to be a look of wonder on her face.
“The very same, but as you can see I’m not fake.” Santa said getting up from the throne and beginning to walk towards the ponies.
Pinkie then rushed at him stopping just at his feet. “Well what presents did you bring us!?” Pinkie shouted out with pure joy on her face with the possibility of herself getting a present.
“Oh well for all of you I got nothing. As you may know I don’t give presents to people who have been naughty.” Santa explained
“W-what? What do you mean we haven’t been good?” Fluttershy said while trying to stay behind everypony else in the group do.
“As I said I give presents to all the good little boys and girls of the world and well none of you are human but more importantly you are all at the top of my naughty list. Look.” Santa said as he pulled up his left sleeve to show that on his for arm was a list of names and the top 8 of them read as such.
1.Celestia
2.Luna
3.Twilight
4.Applejack
5.Rarity
6.Rainbow Dash
7.Pinkie Pie
8.Fluttershy
And on his knuckles it had in big black letters the word ‘NAUGHTY’.
“I don’t care who you are but I want to know why you are here!” Celestia yelled. “And why you aren’t affected by the potion.”
“Well it’s quite easy to explain. You see there is magic in this world your kind just can’t see it or affect it. And I along with a few others are the only beings on this world that can harness it. So the magic in my body is just too strong for the magic of the potion. But for your first question the answer is even simpler. I’m here to defeat you and make you stop your barrier and turn all the humans you have turned back to normal.” Santa with a matter of fact tone in his voice.
The throne room went quiet for a few seconds then the ponies in the room burst into laughter. Did this human really think he could make them stop? With all the plans and preparations they had made?! He must have been mad!
“You are quiet funny Santa but please tell us how you are going to make us do that?” Luna said with a smug grin on her face.
“Well by asking nicely but if you won’t listen to my words then I will have to get forceful but please don’t make me get forceful I am not a fan of violence.” He said with a serious look on his face.
“We have told the Human Governments many times before ‘No’ when they asked. So I believe force is your only option but do you think you an old human who smells of soot and chocolate chip cookies can bet us? Luna and myself the celestial sisters and the Elements of Harmony!” Celestia exclaimed feeling very sorry for this old plainly crazy human.
“Yes because I have the hope of the children of the world behind me.” Santa said with his chest puffed out with pride
“The hope of what?” Applejack said scratching her head with a confused look on her face.
“I might as well just show you so you can understand.” He then pulled a letter from his left pocket and began to read it out loud.
“Dear santa. All I want for Christmas is for my mom back. Dad says that since she got hit with the potion now she is a pony she isn’t my mom anymore and he’s right when I went to see her at one of the camps were newfouls are being keep at, she said she can’t love me as long as I’m a human. That’s not my mom. Please Santa can you help her?
Signed Jackson age 8”
He then put the letter back into his pocket and looked back up at the group of ponies. “Now do you understand?”
“Please it’s just one letter.” Rainbow said with a not caring look on her face
“Just one?” Santa said with an angry look on his face. “How about 1 billion!!!” He then through his arms out to his sides as millions of letters came pouring out of his sleeves and began swirling around the room. They even began to read themselves. But sadly with so many voices going off at once the ponies could only hear a few key words from each but they were easy to make out since all the letters seemed to have one thing in common they were all about them. “Please Santa make the ponies go away!” “Santa I want my dad to come home please make the ponies go away!” “My mommy is now a pony and she says she doesn’t love me anymore! Please Santa fix my mommy!”
The voices went on for about 10 seconds but with how numerous they were it might as well of been hours. Then the letters flew back into Santa’s sleeves.
“How, How did you do that?” Twilight said with a look of both wonder and fear on her face.
“Magic”, Santa said with no true emotion on his face. “Now please Celestia I ask you one more time remove the barrier, give yourself up, and turn all the humans back to normal.”
Celestia seemed to be paralyzed just looking straight at Santa perhaps. Out of fear? We will never. “I will not do that Santa. What I am doing is for the good of all humanity when they are all ponies they will thank me!” Celestia proclaimed
Santa closed his eyes and took in a deep breath then let it out and looked right at both Luna and Celestia. “So be it.” Santa said. Then what happened next was maybe the biggest surprise of their enter lives.
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HO HO HO MOTHERBUC***S
Badass santa is best human
Fuck Yeah. Santa is ten times cooler than anypony. Begin the asswhooping while having some milk and cookies. Especially on the Elements of Harmony. Somehow they always get off free in all this.
HO HO HOLY SHIT!
ITS TIME TO DECK SOME HALLS AND PUNCH SOME PONIES!
Santa is best Human
SANTA REKS ALL THE PONIES
THE MOVIE
heart warming eve is nice for ponies....
saint nick in the house!
but Christmas is way better~
side didn't there heart warming eve play almost show ponies almost destroy themselves and probably unknown took quite a few species with them when the win-dago started freezing the land to death from just the ponies arguing gee-sh and there leaders wow much? and that only from a reenacted play i bet it was way worse.
A very merry Christmas, indeed...
I haven't read this yet but are you gonna put in Robot Chicken Santa too?
Cause that would be AWESOME.
3676992 can you tell me a little bit about him? I've never watched robot chicken, also what the fuck is it?
3676997 Give me a minute to find an episode to explain it to you.
3676997 http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MxyJjiTwtmc&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DMxyJjiTwtmc
Not sure if this link will work but if you just google 'Robot chicken christmas special' you'll understand
3677013 while very amusing
I dont think he has a place in my story. I hope you understand.
3677043
Well I hope you like your virginity while it lasts because I'm cumming to get you.
This story l like
MOTHER FUCKA MAKE SOME MOAR PLS OR I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND EAT THEIR LIVING ALONG WITH SANTA
U should mix him with The badass Santa from
"Santa Slay" the movie
sadly I am unable to put up the picture.
oh the American Dad Christmas slaughter! it's tradition.
I usuakkyt don't read Conversion Bureau stories but man... Ponies agaisnt a Badass Santa! I must fave.
Oh my god Santa is going to kick some pony ass, instant fav!
Robot Santa Claus from Futurama?
elchapuzasinformatico.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Papa-Noel-en-Futurama.jpg
You have been naughty, Celestia.
3678000 sorry no.
3677515
3678007
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTpo-u6sx4Ch8qY09UY_VXglaixSzSaiQmg3WFUYBqhkWVQ0RuQZw
Here you go
Quality stuff, but you should probably run it by an editor or something. I think we'd all appreciate it.
this needs some grammar checks but otherwise time to watch santa shit on ponies
FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA DIE!
You better watch out, you better cry, you better run cuz' I'm tellin' you why...
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rsz_sndn_santa_3168.jpg
MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHERF**KERS!!!
oh dear , dear Celestia, thou should have not intervened with ALL of humanity in a quest for purity/world domination , Remember Hitler? he wanted world domination. the quest for world domination begins with a great start, ends in the most horrible of endings.
oh and Merry Christmas and to all a good night!
except the ponies in this universe. they suck balls and eat camel shit.
Deck the halls with boughs of terror
fa la la la la la la la la la
tis the season to be screaming
fa la la la la la la la la la
don we now our blood stained apparel
troll the ancient christmas carol
fa la la la la la la la la la
see the burning pony before us
fa la la la la la la la la la
strike the blade with hammer and join the slaughter
fa la la la la la la la la la
follow me with merry measure,
as we bring our kin from the trever!
fa la la la la la la la la la
fast away the old sisters terror!
fa la la la la la la la la la
hail the returned, as we bring forth lads and lassies!
fa la la la la la la la la la
sing we joyous all together,
all heedless of pony and alicorn!
fa la la la la la la la la la!
once again! I wish a merry christmas to all and to all a good night!
(my version of deck the halls for this story)
that's all folks!
3680469
This...
"I did notice some points where the grammar and syntax appeared akward and/or wrong. Perhaps you should get an editor?"
3676997 Have to ask will Santa from Futurama be joining the fight?
BOOM BITCHES
it was centuries before ONE child saw Jack Frost, he's NOT about to go back into the shadows
Release the Krampus!!!
3675679
Soon they'll discover why Santa's clothes are always red.
3681807 heres one painful way to kill the guards, when they need to go pee gusse what happen the pee turn into ice and up where ever it come from and make a shit load of pain
You really should have listened to Santa, girls. This time, cookies will not save you from his jolly wrath.
Any chance that Santa might call help from his Martian counterpart, Dropo?
Santa from Rare Exports pls!
I don't care which version of Santa shows up, even Amoeba Claus. all I want is pony suffering and an update, not too much to ask.
Like the concept, don't really enjoy the writing.
Still, the concept is a solid 10/10.
Wrighting could use some work.
But the idea is genius! 
I'll have to fave just too see where you go with this.
Santa is about to deck some halls.....
....Go full on Holiday on them! Don't leave the Easter Bunny outta this!
i thought you were going to update it every day till new years?
Needs a spruce up, but definitely worth reading.
3688026 sorry typed that up and forgot to proof read.(opps)
Oh, I'm going to spam this fic all over Chatoyance's user page.
waiting for the santa to do HO HO HO
DECK THE HALL WITH THEIR BLOOD!
I want to read this.
I really do.
But you need an editor.
I've seen engrish better than this.
Fix plz,
3678000 Nah. This santa just a state he's not a fan of violence.