I'm just a 19yr old student from Germany, who wants to contribute his part to this amazing fandom.
This story is a sequel to Lyra - Unleashed
Though I never had been here before, I knew immediately where I was. I was in the deep of my own mind, banished from everything that could make me interact with anything around me. I was excluded from my senses, forced to be the little being I was, alone in the darkness of my mind. There was no way out of the room, no doors, no windows, just these smooth, black walls.
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I finally managed to find some time to read it, and it wasn't a wasted time :)
Again, this story was pretty short and fast, concentrated at That One Moment. But that's not a bad thing. Your stories are perfect to read them in bed, before sleep, as you won't have the problem of One More chapter - you can read it all. And it's good for the reader, as they won't need to stay up all night :)
Fast, brief and great. You are doing a fine job, keep it up :)
I just read through all three stories after months on my read-later-list. The writing on this third seems to be noticeably better. The prior stories had several grammar/spelling errors I found rather jarring.
Something I was wondering though: does anyone else feel they are rather misanthropic? I mean Sunset was apparently evil solely because she was a former human. Lyra's human part had one redeeming feature: her love of Bon-Bon; but she was still willing to work alongside her murderer. In addition neither made any objection when ponies stated that humans wanted only to kill and/or torture and/or enslave all other forms of life. Also, in the third chapter of this fic, Lyra states
But, unless I misinterpreted something: Lyra was (more or less) in control of her actions up until the first chapter of this story.
I know this comment is several months late I just thought I'd put my thoughts out there.
come on sis get it together ur no monster ur Lyra Heartstrings my sister i will not let u walk the dark road sunset died just like ur love did but i will not lose u to ur hate!