Why are you shifting between Past, Present and Future? HOW DO YOU EVEN WRITE IN FUTURE TENSE? sense... I'm having one of those derp days wherein you forget a word. Anyways, you write like "I wake up twelve hours later" or something like that, that, combined with the Present tense, is like he's telling the future.
As a word of advice, you might want to stick to a tense and go from there, it gets a bit confusing for the reader when you're all over the place in terms of tense. Also, try to be a little more clear on who's talking, helps more than you know.
take that advice however you want. Other than that, I like how this is shaping up.
I hope you all like how it's shaping up. There's a lot more in store don't worry!
What do you mean by a well endowed woman? Big boobs or a big ass?
3464043
Or a very, very, VERY sensitive clit
This really has me on edge just wanting for more.
3464043 At the time he said that, he had a good view of her breasts.
-rainbow
Dude this is very interesting!
Why are you shifting between Past, Present and Future?
HOW DO YOU EVEN WRITE IN FUTURE TENSE? sense...
I'm having one of those derp days wherein you forget a word.
Anyways, you write like "I wake up twelve hours later" or something like that, that, combined with the Present tense, is like he's telling the future.
D-D-D-D- DROP DA BASS!
Best chapter of a story that I have read in a while.
As a word of advice, you might want to stick to a tense and go from there, it gets a bit confusing for the reader when you're all over the place in terms of tense. Also, try to be a little more clear on who's talking, helps more than you know.
take that advice however you want. Other than that, I like how this is shaping up.