There are a few errs in the grammar, spelling, word type, tense, and even perspective. Enough that I don't want to take the time to point them all out, especially since this is about 4 and a half years old, but not enough to make me actually stop.
"Whoa..." I said to myself. "What's going on? I feel so... Good!" I smiled, getting a small high. Everything started to feel good. She needed to get out of these clothes. It was getting to hot, too constricting. After all my clothes were off, i laid myself out on the bed.
I will point this one out specifically, as this was meant to be written in first person but you wrote "she"
The only thing you should clear up is who is talking when swapping between Red and RD.
3477954 I thought I was actually pretty clear with it. Where did you see a problem and ill fix it?
What a potion he's concocted
dat ending!!
3497959 A lot of Bronies wish to be that guard right now.
is that possible?
OK the ending of this scared me a little
4048972 Okay then...
Lucky guard. I'd have to pull out within a year.
"NHG ..."
The guard
media2.giphy.com/media/19RdkpztOqU0M/200_s.gif
hahahahahhaha o love this story Man
There are a few errs in the grammar, spelling, word type, tense, and even perspective. Enough that I don't want to take the time to point them all out, especially since this is about 4 and a half years old, but not enough to make me actually stop.
I will point this one out specifically, as this was meant to be written in first person but you wrote "she"