Twilight and Spike's intimacy is threatened when Rarity gives herself as a gift to the young dragon for his birthday. With Twilight and Rarity butting heads over who gets to be his mate, Spike just wants his friends to be happy so he can be happ
While I learned to not feel any pity for Twilight, who did this to herself for not accepting Spike's more tender affections, the Sparity scene at the beach, or hell, just the way these two are going at it, makes me feel uncomfortable and even somewhat revulsed. Probably because I've seen how these onsets of passion fizzle out just as quick as they burn bright.
I'm not taking any sides here, I'm just not sure about what to feel.
Personally I'm just glad to see this story still alive after I had written it off as dead and gone.
Not every chapter of a great story needs to have sex in it, in fact it's a very good thing to have these heavier more character driven sections with no sex at all; though you are such a giant tease for making me think Spike and Rarity were going to do it right there on the beach.
You did great with this new chapter, and I couldn't possibly get mad at you after such a touching introspective into Twilight's feelings as well as the budding romance of Spike and Rarity. The interactions of everypony felt wonderfully true to character and I especially enjoyed the little bits you threw in with Fluttershy & Dash, and Pinkie's crazy sandcastle shenanigans.
4775566 I don't know much about W40K but if there's a character that is a rich dark-blue with a pink strap and diamonds, that feels like it would be terribly out of place in that universe.
The only mare who wasn't cheering was Twilight, who watched them intently. The bottom of her left eyelid was twitching, and her teeth were grinding in frustration.
4775178 Yeah, my first girlfriend was all about giggle giggle touchy touchy stuff and affection all the time, while ignoring what makes a real relationship; going about your day normally as best friends who are affectionate. When your relationship is based on kisses and sexual acts your relationship is not a true relationship, just a physical one.
4781670 I kind of wanted that confusion to be in there. The mind is a really tricky thing, that harbors a lot of thoughts and ideas that we aren't presently aware we have. I wanted to introduce the idea that Twilight might have some innate or unconscious desire to sleep with her brother (because I'm guilty of liking incest pairings such as Twining sometimes), so maybe she slept with Spike to fulfill some hidden desire to sleep with shining. Of course I'm not going to throw shining into this story as a major character, I just wanted to make a fun reference to the idea. Sorry if that ruined the story in some way.
Question: Spike is a dragon. His body is covered in scales. He breathes fire. He could very well swim in a pool of lava without feeling the slightest bit warm. How the BUCK does he expect to get a tan?
4781895 Same question could be applied to how Rarity expects to get a tan with a hairy coat (since that's what horses are covered in). To be honest, there's a lot of things that happen in the pony universe that make no sense at all, things like Applejack saving her grandmother from plunging to her death by lassoing her leg (which would have yanked it right out of her brittle old socket). Point I'm trying to make is, I will try to keep logic in as much as I can for the main course and plot of the story, but if it's a side gag or visual that has nothing to do with the overall plot, I will throw logic to the wind if I must. But if you want to know why he's doing it, either: 1)Dragons can in fact tan 2) He just does it because Rarity's doing it to humor her Pick whichever excuse you want!
Just kidding, but I really love stories that just... Really make the impossible happen. Like in one story I read, Twilight nearly burned down the library, making a bowl of cereal!
4781715 Unless you make that information undeniably canon, I'm inclined to disagree. I read it like Twilight had desires for Spike and Spike only, no strings attached to her biological brother. The two are much too different (both physically and mentally) for any parallel to be envisioned, even subconsciously.
Besides, having a hunk like Spike growing next to a female could give her some ideas Males are not the only pervs after all.
After thinking about it a little bit, I decided to make a slight modification to how that passage is presented. Now Twilight says to herself that she considered Spike close to her heart, but not as a brother. However, now she's wondering if she subconsciously does think of him as a brother. I'm not trying to say that she does, I'm just trying to play up the fact that she's very confused at this point, and can't fully grasp why she feels this way towards Spike and Rarity.
A little late to the party but a couple corrections: *Plural of "pegasus" shouldn't be "pegasus's" *You shouldn't say "dialect" when you're just describing an accent, since it refers to word usage. You could call it a "country twang" or "drawl", though
The only mare who wasn't cheering was Twilight, who watched them intently. The bottom of her left eyelid was twitching, and her teeth were grinding in frustration.
I found out that I might be a voyeur today. I totally wanted them to go at it right there on the beach.
While I learned to not feel any pity for Twilight, who did this to herself for not accepting Spike's more tender affections, the Sparity scene at the beach, or hell, just the way these two are going at it, makes me feel uncomfortable and even somewhat revulsed. Probably because I've seen how these onsets of passion fizzle out just as quick as they burn bright.
I'm not taking any sides here, I'm just not sure about what to feel.
I wonder how spike is going to feel once Twilight starts ignoring him.
Its about Time!!! Haha. New Chapter!
It's alive, it's ali-
Wait, no sex?!
...never mind...
4775442
There's gonna be sex in the next one! I promise!
Love these W40K references!
4775566
Right, because I totally read those books and put that reference in on purpose, yes I did!
This story better not have Spike dumping Rarity for Twilight at the last minute.
Yay
Weee, another chapter
And I don't have any problem for the fact that there's no sex in this chapter
I don't even remember how this story describes spike's age and body
You said it Rarity.
Personally I'm just glad to see this story still alive after I had written it off as dead and gone.
Not every chapter of a great story needs to have sex in it, in fact it's a very good thing to have these heavier more character driven sections with no sex at all; though you are such a giant tease for making me think Spike and Rarity were going to do it right there on the beach.
You did great with this new chapter, and I couldn't possibly get mad at you after such a touching introspective into Twilight's feelings as well as the budding romance of Spike and Rarity. The interactions of everypony felt wonderfully true to character and I especially enjoyed the little bits you threw in with Fluttershy & Dash, and Pinkie's crazy sandcastle shenanigans.
4775566
I don't know much about W40K but if there's a character that is a rich dark-blue with a pink strap and diamonds, that feels like it would be terribly out of place in that universe.
...Yeah, Twi's not lettin' go that easily
4775387
She didn't say she was going to ignore him, just the more negative things she's feeling about his relationship.
Somepony is jealous~
4774904 well, it is a nude beach
4777540
Aren't they all?
4775178 Yeah, my first girlfriend was all about giggle giggle touchy touchy stuff and affection all the time, while ignoring what makes a real relationship; going about your day normally as best friends who are affectionate. When your relationship is based on kisses and sexual acts your relationship is not a true relationship, just a physical one.
4777569 Exactly. A lover is first and foremost a very good and close friend. These two aren't acting like it.
Hey man, don't worry about us, money and jobs are more important than pony words. (But not school, fuck school.)
4781670
I kind of wanted that confusion to be in there. The mind is a really tricky thing, that harbors a lot of thoughts and ideas that we aren't presently aware we have. I wanted to introduce the idea that Twilight might have some innate or unconscious desire to sleep with her brother (because I'm guilty of liking incest pairings such as Twining sometimes), so maybe she slept with Spike to fulfill some hidden desire to sleep with shining.
Of course I'm not going to throw shining into this story as a major character, I just wanted to make a fun reference to the idea. Sorry if that ruined the story in some way.
Question: Spike is a dragon. His body is covered in scales. He breathes fire. He could very well swim in a pool of lava without feeling the slightest bit warm. How the BUCK does he expect to get a tan?
4781895
Same question could be applied to how Rarity expects to get a tan with a hairy coat (since that's what horses are covered in). To be honest, there's a lot of things that happen in the pony universe that make no sense at all, things like Applejack saving her grandmother from plunging to her death by lassoing her leg (which would have yanked it right out of her brittle old socket). Point I'm trying to make is, I will try to keep logic in as much as I can for the main course and plot of the story, but if it's a side gag or visual that has nothing to do with the overall plot, I will throw logic to the wind if I must.
But if you want to know why he's doing it, either:
1)Dragons can in fact tan
2) He just does it because Rarity's doing it to humor her
Pick whichever excuse you want!
4781913 Hmmm... I choose option 3.
Just kidding, but I really love stories that just... Really make the impossible happen. Like in one story I read, Twilight nearly burned down the library, making a bowl of cereal!
4781953
sounds like a simpsons reference
4781715 Unless you make that information undeniably canon, I'm inclined to disagree. I read it like Twilight had desires for Spike and Spike only, no strings attached to her biological brother. The two are much too different (both physically and mentally) for any parallel to be envisioned, even subconsciously.
Besides, having a hunk like Spike growing next to a female could give her some ideas Males are not the only pervs after all.
4783911
4784165
After thinking about it a little bit, I decided to make a slight modification to how that passage is presented. Now Twilight says to herself that she considered Spike close to her heart, but not as a brother. However, now she's wondering if she subconsciously does think of him as a brother. I'm not trying to say that she does, I'm just trying to play up the fact that she's very confused at this point, and can't fully grasp why she feels this way towards Spike and Rarity.
4787177 I re-read that. If you ask me, it's a lot more consistent.
A little late to the party but a couple corrections:
*Plural of "pegasus" shouldn't be "pegasus's"
*You shouldn't say "dialect" when you're just describing an accent, since it refers to word usage. You could call it a "country twang" or "drawl", though
Enjoying the story, dude!
Holy buck it's back, I hate Spike/Rarity but gods am I excited...reading on now!
hehehe i love this fic