Original Title: A Stranger I Remain
This chapter is part of the older version of "Ein Sof Zealotry" and is to be considered non-canon in lieu of the pending rewrite. This along with the rest of the old story remain for the purpose of comparison.
Things were definitely not going Twilight’s way. The past few weeks since the coronation could be called a living hell or a life of a nightingale in a golden cage. That is, if the nightingale was forced to slave from the sundawn to the sunset and beyond. Celestia’s promise that they would start Twilight slow turned up to be a ruse, or at least Twilight hoped it did, because if the workload would increase even slightly, she would fall from exhaustion.
It wasn’t just the amount of paperwork she had to fill daily or arguing with the council about every single rule and law; with her experience from living in Ponyville and from studying she would manage both rather easily. What really drove her crazy was holding the court as all the nobles of Canterlot saw fit to take their complaints to the newest member of royalty, expecting her to break down and fulfill their wishes. They were, however, sadly mistaken as she had enough of ponies telling her what to do already.
When she finally managed to save few days to go see her new friends and continue her own research on Elysium, Celestia somehow found out and planned an all-princess-meeting in Crystal Empire. It is very logical to hold it here, where only one princess lives, instead of Canterlot, where only the other three reside! She was very surprised when she met the other elements bearers at the train station, although she should have expected that. After all, she was still keeping the appearance that everything was right in her life.
She would get over all that, mainly thanks to the calming technique Cadance taught her (and to the amount of ice cream she consumed every day), but Sunset Shimmer, as Celestia called that insufferable pony, stealing her crown really drove Twilight over the edge. She didn’t need nor particularly want it, the crown symbolized everything she didn’t ask for and was completely useless as the Elements of Harmony wouldn’t work anyway, but it was a matter of principle. Nopony would take what was hers and laugh in her face!
Twilight was determined to get her crown back and would gladly fight for the right to pursue Sunset Shimmer to whatever world she ran to, but having to go all alone took her by surprise. Wouldn’t it make sense to send a battalion of guards with me, especially with how dangerous Luna said Sunset Shimmer could be? Our world was off balance many times and it returned back on its own accord every time. Why wouldn’t the other world do the same?
The situation had a bright side to it as well for Twilight. The rest of the elements bearers couldn’t go with her, so she would get at least some time to rest from all the pretending, even if it was just two days. Any chance to be herself was a welcomed gift these days and if it was given to her by Sunset Shimmer’s actions, she was willing to thank the other unicorn wholeheartedly.
It still amazes me what she dared to do. Not just leaving for another world, but returning and stealing valuable defense asset under the noses of four princesses. Maybe she didn’t know we all would be present, though, but even one princess is an intimidating adversary, Twilight contemplated as she was nearing the mirror. I could even admire such bold action if I weren’t so furious at her.
There was something very wrong with Crystal Empire security too. As she recalled her mad dash after the thief, she realized there wasn’t a single guard along the entire route. For a quarter where some of the most important ponies in Equestria were spending the night and for the vault of the Empire it was fairly concerning. I will have to have a word with Cadance. Or better yet, Shining Armor. If he organized the defense of Canterlot as badly as this, it’s a wonder there was just one invasion. Some walls are firm only because nopony tried them, I suppose.
She checked her saddlebags quickly. Nothing was added or removed, the contents just as she packed them in Canterlot. She reached under few books, a notebook, bottle of ink and a quill and lightly touched the Elysian amulet which she always carried with her since the coronation. Once you see her, you will know. That’s what Scintillant said. Could it be? I hope not, she didn’t look like somepony I would like to work with. But who knows? I had my opinion about Ditzy and now look. She reached forward and touched the portal, watching the ripples form on its surface. She smirked a little as she made the final step. Well, Sunset Shimmer, let’s see how far your fortitude goes!
The bed of books that Twilight slept on was a bit uncomfortable compared to one she was used to, but in the situation she was in now, beggars couldn’t be choosers. It was late in the night that Twilight was sleeping on this makeshift bed when she heard a noise, not a loud noise, but one that was disrupting enough to catch her ear. As the school was supposed to be empty aside from her, she knew this didn’t bode well. Is that who I think it is? Twilight pondered. I can’t risk it. I need to check.
Twilight carefully inched her way out from under the covers so as not to wake Spike, walked towards the door and quietly cracked it open. After making sure the coast was clear, she tiptoed out into the corridor and made her way towards the principal's office where she thought the sound originated. She was right as the door was open and she heard some rustling from within. Twilight peeked in to see her adversary looking through the place.
“Sunset Shimmer!”
The girl in question swiveled to face Twilight, clearly not expecting to be confronted this late at night. “Oh, princess. I suppose I should have expected you to try and steal your crown back.”
“I wasn’t trying to steal my crown… Though that did come to mind at some point.” Twilight admitted.
Sunset shot her a fierce glare. “Well, I didn’t spend so much time and planning to give it up to the likes of you! If you want your crown back so bad, why don’t you fight me for it?”
“I don’t really want it back,.” Twilight said flatly. “You stealing from me enraged me fairly, but the stolen item being a crown makes no difference.”
Sunset went from enraged to dumbfounded. “Say what now?”
“Actually, I was hoping you and I could work together. See, you’re not the only one with a grudge against Princess Celestia. Do you think I asked for this title?”
“...Go on.” Sunset raised an eyebrow.
“I get it. You want power, that much is obvious. I can give that power to you, more than some stupid, useless Element of Harmony ever could.”
“Useless?”
“Those friends of mine that chased after you alongside me don’t realize this yet, but the Elements of Harmony won’t work and it’s because of them. That also means that even if you did have the crown- which doesn’t seem to be in this building at the moment- you wouldn’t be able to do much with it.”
“What?! Y-you’re lying.”
“I really wish I was. It would mean I could still trust my so-called friends and mentor. But the reality is your sole asset won’t be any help. But the power that I can offer you is legitimately stronger. All I ask is for your cooperation.” Twilight extended her hand. “What do you say? Will you give my offer a chance?”
Sunset stood there silent, not really sure how to feel about what she heard. The plan she had worked so hard towards was falling apart by something she never expected to happen. If what she says is true, then all those years were wasted. But is she telling the truth? Or is she luring me into a trap? She IS Celestia’s apprentice, what if she is just manipulating me? Well, two can play at that game. I am a former student too, princess.
“I still don’t know if I can trust you. But I have an idea that might change that.”
“I’m listening.”
“Let’s make a contest of sorts out of this. I will drop my pursuit of the crown for tonight seeing as how it doesn’t seem to be here. We will compete for the crown at the Fall Formal. If you win, I will be at your command. But if I win, I have this world to myself. Don’t expect me to go easy though. I’m not about to throw away all my plans.” Sunset smirked at her terms. If we do it this way, I can see if she is telling the truth. If she accepts, she seals her fate and if she declines, I can finish her here.
“Very well. We will do it your way.”
...Okay, I was kind of expecting her to decline, but let’s see where this goes.
The two girls shook hands and went their separate ways. True to her word, Sunset Shimmer dropped her effort to steal the crown during that night and left the school to her own accord. Twilight on the other hand snuck back to her makeshift bed in the library. I know what she’s doing. Even if she does win, I will have the last laugh. How can you take over a world with a useless artifact? Let alone kill me with it. When I win, I will show her that my offer holds water. Well, fire actually but that’s besides the point.
Twilight was towering above the crater the reawakened Elements of Harmony created as a side effect of cleansing Sunset Shimmer. She supposed that from Sunset’s position on its bottom she must have looked truly intimidating, otherwise she couldn’t explain to herself, why there were tears in Sunset’s eyes. From what she learned, regrets simply weren’t her thing.
“The magic of friendship isn’t just in Equestria. It’s everywhere. You can seek it out, or be forever alone. The choice is yours.” She felt how much truth was in her own words and realised that she took her own advice when she accepted Scintillant’s offer. Without her new friends, she would be all alone and would probably choose to stay in this world. The world where the avatars of her friends never hurt her, where they were true to their elements, where she could be loved for who she was, not what she was.
At the same time, she was communicating the message that the offer still stood. If we all must fall first to gain and understand our position, she makes a perfect candidate. She should pray Scintillant will confirm this, or else she will face a grave punishment. I’ll make sure of that.
“But… but all I’ve ever done since being here is drive everyone apart. I don’t know the first thing about friendship,” Sunset said in a trembling voice as she climbed to the edge of the crater. Twilight grabbed her hand and pulled her out completely.
“I bet they can teach you,” Twilight said to keep the appearance that everything would stay the same. Once the attention of everyone shifted to Spike though, she leaned closer to Sunset and whispered. “Will you obey now, traitor?”
Sunset glanced around at all the faces barely hiding hostility. Without the fear and without the Element of Magic, I am dead here. Do I really have a choice? She quickly, but firmly nodded her assent.
“Then be ready and don’t struggle. Now go and pretend you are staying here.” Sunset obediently left Twilight’s side and went to the school’s entrance, just in time to make place for principal Celestia.
“I believe this belongs to you. A true princess in any world leads not by forcing others to bow before her, but by inspiring others to stand with her. We have all seen that you are capable of just that. I hope you see it too, princess Twilight.”
Maybe I will take something important from all this after all. Wish Princess Celestia understood this lesson as well. I certainly will, whatever my future holds. She looked principal in the eyes and eagerly nodded. “I do.”
After the lengthy goodbyes with her new friends she would most likely never see again she walked to the pedestal of the statue hiding the portal back to Equestria. She remembered the place where Sunset Shimmer stood just seconds away and hoped she would still be there. If not, I will bring few bricks to Equestria. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about them betraying the given word at first chance.
She concentrated on the Elysian amulet hidden in her hair and on Sunset. A quick surge of magic later she felt something squirming at the back of her neck, close to where the amulet was. Either I succeeded or I just stole one of Fluttershy’s animals. Wonder if I could befriend that creature, whatever it is.
She passed the portal and returned to her quadrupedal form. What a relief. At the same time she registered a new sensation. The creature in her mane definitely had hooves. Well it seems I aimed precisely. Hold there and don’t look out, Sunset, or there will be much explaining. Or hoofstomping.
Enduring all the questions her friends and the princesses had for her exhausted her further. Why couldn’t they see that she got almost no sleep and fought a demon not two hours ago? Not to mention the discomfort of Sunset permanently looking for a better position behind her neck.
At long last she got to her room. Spike fell asleep almost immediately, this time making comfortable in her bed. It was big enough for them both and they actually grew even closer during the trip into another world. She shook her head violently causing Sunset to fly out of her mane, but she caught her just in time in her magic and levitated her in front of her eyes. Upside down.
“Oops, sorry, forgot you were there,” she chirped and cast the spell reversing the shrinking. Then she lowered Sunset to the ground.
“How could you forget such thing?!” Sunset hissed and crouched a little in an offensive stance. Twilight straightened up into her full height and spread her wings, effectively proving who the most fearsome pony in the room was.
“Consider it a payback for that fireball. You are lucky I retaliated so leniently,” Twilight replied sharply but quietly to not wake Spike. He certainly deserved his rest. “Do you always keep your word so well? Learn to take a loss or lose for good!”
Sunset recoiled at the wrath of the alicorn in front of her and sat back on her haunches. “I want to apologize for that. Seeing as you undid in two days what I was building so long was too much for me to stand. I had to win. The world was mine,” she said with her head hung low.
Twilight looked down on her sternly, but folded her wings anyway. “Obviously it wasn’t. But enough about that. I am tired, beaten and dirty, all of that mainly thanks to you. Dealing with you at this moment doesn’t seem like a good idea, so I will make it quick. Listen carefully.”
She made her way to the locker by the wall and removed a pouch full of bits and a long cape, the one Sunset lost during her escape. “You will catch the morning train out of Crystal Empire and go to Ponyville. Once you are out of the Empire, nopony will recognise you, I am sure. Once in Ponyville, you will ask where Zecora lives and go there. Tell her that Twilight sent you. Follow her instructions to the dot. If you try to escape, remember I don’t care capital punishment was outlawed in Equestria.”
Sunset nodded and took the items in her magic. “You can rely on me this time. I really am sorry for what I did there, please believe me that. Seeing you managed to get me here without your horn proves that you hold a great power as well and I want to be helpful. Could I get another chance from you?”
Twilight watched as Sunset’s expression slowly turned into a pleading one. She sighed and remembered that Trixie and Lightning Dust didn’t treat her the best way at first either. We are supposed to work together not just as colleagues, but as friends. Plus she seems genuine this time around. She turned the corners of her lips upwards in a half smile half smirk and placed a hoof on Sunset’s shoulder. “You can have your chance, just try to work on your puppy dog eyes harder. One would think that after seeing Spike gawking on Rarity there you would know how to pull them better.”
Sunset turned red in embarrassment just like her namesake and averted her eyes elsewhere. “I’m just teasing you, don’t take that remark so seriously,” Twilight said with a giggle and motioned toward the door. “Come, I will lead you out of the palace. The guards could be a nuisance otherwise. Although after how they performed two days ago…”
“Come on, Sunset, you faced great perils and even greater challenges, such petty thing like an old thick forest can’t scare you,” Sunset spoke aloud to herself at the sight in front of her. The journey from the Crystal Empire took her most of the day, so when she finally learnt the directions how to get to Zecora’s hut, the sun was already setting.
Thanks to the animosity of princess Twilight she was forced to scrape by a fairly limited funds and therefore choose between comfort of the first class carriage and her full stomach. Needless to say the food won as she hadn’t eaten anything for almost a day. When she was levitating her lunch and the money required as payment, she noticed how strangely taxing the task was. She managed, of course, but the magic didn’t flow as naturally as she remembered.
Her slight magical rustiness combined with exhaustion from lack of sleep - third class carriage full of chatting tourists was less than ideal for slumbering - was causing her serious worry about her upcoming journey under the canopy. If it weren’t for Twilight’s urging to hurry and the assurance of one of the inhabitants that the beasts stayed in the deeper parts, she would probably wait for the morning.
To her great relief and actual surprise, since the forest looked even more foreboding from inside than from her previous viewpoint on its rim, she made it to the hut with just a single incident including an overgrown bat and a well aimed fireball. She knocked quickly to get inside as soon as possible. After a while a hoofsteps echoed from inside and the door opened to reveal a zebra maybe in her forties. This race so far from savannas wasn’t exactly what Sunset expected.
“Sunset Shimmer, so you have come,” the zebra said and waved her hoof into the hut, inviting Sunset to come in. Then she tilted her head a little. “Why does your heart beat like a drum?”
Sunset pondered if her host would have found a sufficient rhyme if she had arrived absolutely calm, but dismissed it in favor of more important matters. “The forest doesn’t look exactly inviting and I encountered some trouble along the way. You must be Zecora, right? How did you know I would show up?”
“So it was you I heard to scream. At first I thought it was a dream.” At the withering stare Sunset gave her she shook her head and went on with answering the question. “Letter for Trixie said so much. She and Twilight keep in touch.” Zecora rummaged through her herb pouches. Then she mixed some of the leaves and handed Sunset a steaming cup. “Drink this down and do not fret, calming herbs are not a threat.”
Sunset eyed the liquid and despite Zecora’s words didn’t touch it. “Who is Trixie?” she asked instead, a bit annoyed by the number of ponies knowing about her presence.
“I’ll take you to her, you will see, but only once you finish tea.” Zecora sat down and crossed her forehoof on her chest a clear sign that debating the matter was not an option. Sunset seeing no other way out lifted the cup to her lips and took a long sip. Immediately after, she cringed from the horrible bitter taste, to Zecora’s clear amusement.
“Since I know Trixie’s thoughts about you, I may have mixed in some sagebrush too.” Sunset glared at her, but drank the rest of her beverage with a straight face to not give her host more reasons for happiness.
Once she placed the cup back to its rightful place, even though she would much rather throw it into the flames, Sunset was led by Zecora outside and down a winding path away from the direction she knew Ponyville lay. The night may have been cloudless, but the thick branches of ancient trees prevented the light of the moon or the stars from illuminating the path. The most natural solution that came to Sunset’s mind was to light her horn, but that was met with a harsh reaction.
“Extinguish light and right away! Don’t lure the timberwolves to their prey!” Zecora hissed and smacked Sunset’s horn lightly with her hoof. The light went out instantly and Sunset started rubbing her aching appendage with her own hoof.
“What would be the difference? Either timberwolves eat me, or I fall into some ravine along the way!” She yell-whispered behind the retreating zebra, but then she realised something much more disconcerting - if she didn’t keep close to Zecora, she would be absolutely lost, and that scenario was slowly becoming reality. “Hey, wait for me!” she said as loudly as she dared and blindly galloped behind Zecora, staying never more than two hoof lengths behind her.
After some time, Sunset couldn’t really tell how long, a brighter patch appeared in front of them and they both instinctively sped up, soon emerging into a small clearing. There was a big object just in the middle of it, but only when they came closer did Sunset identify it as a log cabin. Simply marvelous. Instead of a palace I planned to have for myself by now, I will be living in the middle of woods in little more than a shack. On the other hoof, after what I have done, I should be glad I will be living in the first place.
Zecora rounded the building and approached the door. A quiet snoring could be heard from inside, so she knocked with more force than she would normally use. The effect came swiftly; there was a loud thud to be heard from inside as a body hit the floor and the door flew open in a blue aura. A blue unicorn mare stood in the middle of the room with her horn charged, most likely ready to kill whatever dared to attack her house. She visibly relaxed when she recognised Zecora and then lit a lantern by the ceiling with her magic.
“Zecora, you scared me! I thought you would know how it feels when something ramms into your home at night after living in Everfree for so long,” she scolded, but then her face brightened. “Anyway, come in. What brings you here at-” She glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. “-half past eleven?”
“Pardon my manners, my dear friend. I didn’t intend to offend. The matter at hoof just couldn’t wait and thus I come to you so late.” Zecora took the place at the table and helped herself to some nuts Trixie brought forth. Sunset grew tired of waiting outside by this point and marched in without invitation, Zecora raised an eyebrow at the uncouth act and turned back to Trixie. “And here’s the matter in flesh and bone, despite we wanted to talk alone.”
“Could you stop talking about me like I am not present? Sunset exclaimed and huffed like a bull. Nopony seemed to pay mind to her outburst, but an annoyed expression returned to Trixie’s face.
“This is the matter that wouldn’t wait? You could have allowed her to spend a night at your hut and come in the morning when it is safe. Such a risk for so little…”
“You abhor her like a pest and my hut should be her nest?” Zecora said in agitation. “You said to bring her and here she is. For neither of us this is a bliss.”
“I know I know, sorry. Thank you for doing this for me.” Zecora nodded and got up, heading to the door. “If you want to stay the night, it is fine, you can take my bed.”
“Home is the sweetest, you know that well. That’s why I won’t choose today to dwell,” Zecora replied with a smile, ready to close the door behind her.
“I will have the herbs for you in two days and will drop by then, ok? See you soon!” Trixie called before the door shut. Then she turned her attention to Sunset, who was apparently ready to explode. “Twilight wrote me what happened and that she believes you will take Fortitude. Well, she is the one with Scintillant’s instructions; I am just supposed to shelter you for the time being. That being said, you can bet your horn that I am not happy about this. But Twilight asked me to, so here we are. She asked me to make a bed for you too. There it is.” She pointed into the corner at a precarious wooden frame with hay and blankets on top.
The mentions of ‘Scintillant’ and ‘Fortitude’ made no sense to Sunset. Who or what were they? What did she even agree to do? But when she was pointed to the bed, all the questions went silent. “This is supposed to be a bed?!” she yelled, storming to it and smacking its side with her forehoof.
“Does my cutie mark look like a hammer?” Trixie retorted, pointing at her flank. “Besides, I had just one day to prepare it. Be glad you aren’t sleeping on the ground. And if I were you I wouldn’t hit it too hard, it may fall apart.” She trotted to her own bed and tucked herself in. “Speaking of sleep, it is time. Now. Goodnight.” With that she doused the fire in the lantern, bathing the room in darkness once more.
The shock overtook Sunset’s senses. Such brutish behavior! Such disrespectful manners! How dared they treat her, Sunset Shimmer, one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria, like an unwanted pet?! She was about to yell at Trixie and teach her some manners, when a howl from the distance arrived to her ears. She may throw me outside. That… wouldn’t be healthy. I will correct her ways tomorrow.
With that she laid in her ‘bed’, actually enjoying the softness underneath. After the last three days it felt heavenly to just lay down and rest. Yet the sleep wasn’t coming to her, the exhaustion being too great and her mind too angried. She remembered she saw a small bookshelf near the door and decided to calm herself with a bit of reading, no matter what junk literature she would find there.
She reached out with her magic and grabbed a random book, bringing it to herself. When she lit her horn, she was awed by the title she held in her hooves. ‘Master transformation magic and its core principles’? Maybe she won’t be such an ignorant as I thought...’
However, her reading was disturbed before it could even properly begin as Trixie sat up on her bed. “I said, it is time to sleep. Snuff out the light.” Sunset didn’t react in the slightest, determined to enforce her will this time. For a minute she thought she won, but then Trixie spoke again. “You forced my hoof, Sunset Shimmer.”
Sunset continued reading, but suddenly felt a wet sensation on her head and soon on her back too. She rolled and looked up, spotting a legitimate raincloud above her bed. Inside the room.
"When it is light, it is day. And from what Zecora told me, it is supposed to rain during the day. Now do as I said.”
Utterly defeated, Sunset followed the order and then placed the book next to her bed. Why does everypony hate my light spell today? she thought sorrowfully before her eyes finally closed.
because you're a B****.
Interesting, and I really hoped that you would make the whole adventure different.
4187273 There really wasn't much we could do with this one but the point of the chapter was to introduce Sunset into the group, not show a retelling of the film.
On a side note, the next chapter is part one of a two part set up which will lead to the more serious events. The second part has more with Sunset so don't fret.
Hmm. A bit wasted potential there, basically sticking to EqG as-is and rushing through it. You could have deviated and have had Twilight hook up with the human-counterparts of her new friends (seeing as both Trixie and Derpy attend Canterlot High, as would the others as well) and shown her winning with their virtues for support instead of her old crew.
Also, yeesh. Did somepony declare the official 'Kick Sunset Shimmer Week'?
4187360
Exactly. Besides, defeating Sunset with the old magic of friendship and the alternate Five should had some effect on Twilight, instead of "well, that was nice. Now, back to business..."
I personally find Twi less and less sympathetic each chapter, and more like a sore bitch.
4187360 We could've done that but we had too many things going on that made it hard to write this chapter and enjoy it; I was sick and Corwin quite frankly hated Equestria girls so... Thing is, I know we could do many things with these first 10 chapters but we wanted to adhere to canon primarily. And Twilight's not going to see the human counterparts again so we really didn't think it was worth the effort of investing into something that isn't going to come up again. Sorry if this chapter seemed mediocre compared to normal. We may or may not revise some of these chapters but if we do, it won't be until much much later.
As for "Kick Sunset Shimmer Week", can you really blame Twilight at least? Sunset kind of went back on the deal they had and it took defeating her to knock her back into place. And Twilight is already having trust issues so she's actually being pretty kind here all things considered. As for Trixie well, Sunset is an unfamiliar face who came by in the dead of night. Who wouldn't be cranky there?
4187398 Twilight actually did learn one thing from this experience that she will carry into the rest of the story.
I'm sorry for the disappointing chapter but quite frankly, it's based off a disappointing film.
4187360 4187398 As the other author I feel a need to explain our motivation. As you have probably noticed, we didn't change anything that happened on screen in the episodes. We added 'behind the scenes' suppport. EqG left very little space for that - we know quite well what Twilight is doing the whole time, sticking with Mane5. Changing the course of the movie (however poor its storyline is) would go against all our efforts.
Twilight met the counterparts of her (former) friends and made them cooperate easily because they already knew each other and used to be friends. With her new friends she would have to create a bond to each of them and then connect them among themselves. Besides, without Sunset the new Elements would have zero effect just like EoH without Twilight.
That being said, the new Element bearer weren't born with their virtues. They had to pass a trial in their lives to become worthy of the privilege. The lives of Mane5 counterparts are different in this other world and the same can be expected from Ditzy, Lightning and Trixie. Thus they probably don't have what it takes to be an Element currently.
That movie is one of the worst things I have seen. We tried to point out some of the plotholes in Twilight's complaining, but there is so much more that it isn't even funny. I openly state now that Flash Sentry won't make the slightest appearance in the entire project.
Lastly, I spoke to Zhao and we agreed that there won't be any revisions of this chapter. It is done, the things happened and they will stay this way.
4187484 I can certainly respect your decision to stick to your established concept, and is making no demands for revisions. Though you have to admit it could have been interesting. I'll just assume that Twilight at least tried to talk with Human Trixie, in case there was a chance of friendship carrying over as with the others.
As for Flash: given that his pony counterpart has less connection with Twilight than Donut Joe, I see no problem there. Either he's non-canon or he's a guard up in the north where he's not impacting the plot in any way. (Yeesh, I've seen stories where the author canonizes the guy just to bash him. So pointless.)
4187543 That bashing against Flash is something we would probably descend into and as you alone pointed out that is as pointless as his character in general.
There is that one scene in the movie where Twilight meets Trixie for a briefest time. Trixie acts her original arrogant self. Twilight might try to contact her once more, but that short encounter could have just as well deterred her from doing so.
I admit that your idea provides wide possibilities. It would also make our life much easier; we had to navigate around the matters very carefully. So would vaporizing Discord in Chaos to Shelter. As I said though, our reasons were both matters of principle and lore.
4187484
My point is, if you detest the movie so much (not that I blame you for that) you could have skipped it entirely and make Twilight meet Sunset by another means; for example, she could have been captured before escaping throught the mirror , and princess Twilight would have asked Celestia to take custody of Shimmer or take her personal apprendice.
Or even replace her entirely for another OC.
4187543 Personally, I don't mind Flash (I am using him in two future projects as a matter of fact, with some characterization of course) but I can agree that he is pretty bland and pointless in the film. I thought both he and Sunset Shimmer had potential and I don't like to see such characters go to waste. That said, we still stand by the decision that Flash will not appear whatsoever in this project.
Let's not turn this into a Flash thread though please.
4187631 Strange thing is, as far our (mostly mine, anyway) hatred of the movie goes, Sunset turned out to be the leastt annoying part of it and I grew to like her before wathing the movie. Choosing her instead of an OC serves another purpose further in the story, but I can't reveal more detail yet.
However, your point of ignoring the movie and drawing our own events for her would have worked and I regret not coming up with it before we planned the chapter. That can't be helped though as the follow up is written and the events have consequences and effects later.
Alright, Equestria Girls!... And it's done! Nice job with the chapter, you got in, got Sunset, and got out rather quickly. Well done, and with that we have everyone! I can't wait to see just where you iwll go next chapter now that the least element has been brought together.
What I did like this chapter was Twilight's attitude on royalty and her personality. The more I read, the more she sounds like an actual ruler, not the kind of Ruler celestia is, but an actual ruler. I believe it was best put by Alexander the Great...
(If the link isn't working, the important part is at 12:14)
I'm really straining to see why Twilight was so certain Sunset was fortitude. I'm not seeing the connection, myself - and then she went and betrayed her anyway. Why is Twilight pursuing her after that? And Sunset's change after that felt incredibly fake - which would be fine, except for the fact that it's supposed to be genuine.
Really. You could have made this work so much better if you were willing to change Equestria goals. Leaving it as is just creates more problems - why did Twilight bother with the mirror-versions of her old friends? Why did the elements of harmony thing work?
I don't mean to keep railing on your fic, but I feel like these are real problems that prevent it from being great.
(Also, it occurs to me that Coco Pommel would have been a neat Justice)
Yep, friends definitely legitimately threaten each other with death. If I were Sunset, I'd be terrified for the rest of my 'friendship' with Twilight. What happened to Humility? I'll kill you if you disobey isn't exactly humble.
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Surviving in the human world all that time couldn't have been easy especially for a former unicorn but she did and made twilight look stupid in comparison when she tried to fit in. The only reason everyone voted for her was the girls said she was great and they hated sunset more.