• Published 1st Feb 2014
  • 8,260 Views, 500 Comments

Ein Sof Zealotry - ZhaoZoharEX



Twilight Sparkle has never felt so lonely. After what happened at her brother’s wedding rehearsal she can’t but question her friends’ worth, and once she starts doubting one part of her life, second thoughts about the rest soon foll

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Overture ~ Hymns of Harrowing

Perched atop this throne of ethereal gold and silk, I stand tall, overlooking this world of my own making, I ponder the significance of my exploits; my ceaseless journey from womb to grave, my fate from fortuitous to tragic, through no fault of my own I have been inspired, empowered in death to fulfill the aspirations I have long sought in life.

All the Heavens above through the Hells below, stagnation is perpetuated in the earth, born from minds too small and thoughts too big. Wherein my contemporaries lack ambition, even shun it, I seek a world in which the opposite is present. I know not to what end this may be achieved or by what capacity is possible. Merely, one is limited to so many possibilities presented in a single lifetime, in which so many are within hoof’s reach and even fewer presented in eye’s view, to say nothing of opportunities squandered in ignorance or malice.

Reminiscent of their old ways, the powers that be insist on a system flawed and antiquated that the shades of the virtuous and of the righteous require a pilgrimage to the Earthly Paradise to immigrate within the ranks, a test not of the quality of one’s sacrifice, not of the capacity of one’s diligence, but of one’s measure of faith; a system in which one by one my new brethren graduate with incomplete and inaccurate interpretation of the design of the fickle minds of the living and post-living.

Are the Shades to believe they can be saved? Perhaps that is not out of the question. The Ponies and creatures under my protection have only one chance in life to prove their worth to the ministers of the Empyrium and the departed ancestors, that they belong within the gates of the upstanding; a misstep in morality jeopardizes their one opportunity of a rest well earned, that action of wrath or relapse in greed would seal their fate and deny them respite, a fall from paradise inevitable.

Despite this danger present in one’s soul, many in my homeland and beyond continue to ignore the call for virtue and faith. And why shouldn’t they be the least bit dismissive when the incentives do not hold meaning in this flawed society? This push for friendship and harmony are little more than a movement devoid of substance, serving no real purpose if acquired under false pretenses. Honesty, a gesture capable of splitting as much as stitching. Loyalty, a concept circumstantial by definition. Generosity, a mindset self-damaging by intention and foolishly exchanged in earnest. Kindness, a sentiment exploited with ease. Laughter, an action displayed both by the ignorant and the arrogant. These tenants of Harmony, intended to foster friendship, are easily perverted by the predator, so damaging under imperfection; for friendship is rarely an unconditional pact.

I admit to being absent of the joys a friend would bring, for I have always shunned society. My burden of diplomacy has tainted my views, dissuaded my opportunities for personal companionship, platonic and beyond. Were it not that I was brought into this profession, I would only blame myself for my social incompetence and disinterest. Alas, I was robbed of my choice of career, through no true fault of my own.

Spiteful, my fractured soul post-mortem; fearful, my foggy mind mid-mortem. A betrayal, not fully unforeseen, but sudden and painful all the same. My broken being, laid down bloodied and shattered beyond repair, scarred my expression, limbs shredded and unusable. Never was the high noon so dark in vision. And yet, amidst the chaos and violence, the true assailant responsible for this atrocity was absent; a monarch so cowardly in their reproach, dismissing the notion to carry out the deed in person.

Ever closer did Death herself draw near, taunting with the assurance of rescue, flirting with the prospect of retribution. Neither were the reality. Unresponsive my limbs, I lay unceremoniously abandoned, base of the mountain, known only by my assailant and unknown by my savior. I know not for what length I laid, four, perhaps five agonizing hours, broken and dehydrated atop the torrid earth beneath that coward’s blazing light. My distress and torture had very soon passed, replaced only with a dimishining sense of longing and pity. I stood in the courtyard at Death’s door, with no choice but to approach and seek refuge.

My first memory of the afterlife, emerging from a thick fog, standing above my mortal coil. So surreal was this experience, to see my wounds and bones lay sprawled before my very own eyes, to see the extent of the damage done. Exiled from flesh, mangled and grisly, I stood unprepared for this direction. How could one ever be prepared for this unknown? Alas, I was not allowed the luxury of reflection for in that moment, she appeared: a minister of grace from above, adorned in her scarlet attire and skin marbled pristine, the majestic ring of clouded glass and polished metal suspended atop her head, and ribbon-esque wings unrivaled by any wonder of the world.

Until this moment, never in my existence have I experienced conflicting emotions of admiration and intimidation. This mighty being radiating excellence in her disposition yet soothing in her graceful touch, warm and inviting. Reassuring she was not merely a mirage, her exclamation of “Fear not” echoed throughout my antechamber of the departed, almost commanding the uncertainty to scatter.

Simplistic my surroundings, deeply contrasting her regal splendor, a terrain devoid of feature and infinite in acreage presented itself before my eyes. A mere silhouette of the shell of the world long lived left behind, discarded and exiled, unrecognizable yet familiar. Pleasant was the aroma of earth and flora accompanied with an almost invading alabaster hue, sans a gate of gold and ivory alongside an equally extravagant podium, flanking her ministry of grace.

Tenderness and breathlessness, a duo of feelings yielded by movement on my part, my injuries even beyond the grave taunting me. Her ministry gave notice of this plight, halo radiating with a warmth comparable to the bosom of a parent long departed; such was the warmth so calming and welcoming, melting the hesitation, my pain decisively vanquished.

“Breathe, my child,” her ministry of grace thus spoke, “your decades of strife are behind you.”

Enticing was the prospect of afterlife, the promise of sanctuary from walking a tainted road. I had nothing to return to, unable to return evenso in a state emancipated. I was tired and willing to relinquish my hatred, her ministry of grace granting entry into the fields I would call home.

Drained of my energy, my dreary soul living in absolution, having found peace within this new abode of mine, overlooking the ethereal hill of the ministry; a citadel vast in size and immaculate in structure, the parliament of paradise erected in honor of her Great Grandmother of the realities, visible from my balcony. This night, chilled and filled with the calming chirps of crickets and buzz of cicadas, illuminated with the fixed stars shining from within the primum mobile, my comforting place of rest had beckoned me. A call for such rest I was all too eager to answer, to lay in bliss surrounded by my literary haven and historical pages of wonder, the light of the fireplace providing light and sound for my first night of sleep in paradise.

Enlightening was my time in this bliss, my face and injuries healed in the night. Neither wrinkles nor tendons visible from flesh so mangled, no bone fractured, not a hint of fatigue to be found in the morning following my arrival. Such a rest I have never had in my living years, one so healing even my feathered appendages saw a miraculous regrowth. This new afterlife of mine would surely be a time of true reflection. I had my books, I had my journals, and I had nothing but time to review all of it.

For the first many fortnights following my departure, I stayed comfortable within my home upon the hill content with the presence of the literature from within the mortal coil had no time to seek. I do not, however, remember how much of my time was spent on this pastime. It was not long before I grew restless and uninterested locked up in my home. Perhaps it was this point I chose to explore this paradise, vast with places unique and promising such experiences. The Grand Metropolis, the River Prudence, the Gardens of Eden, the Library of Babel, so many sights enamoring and enlightening, populated by many astute scholars, diplomats, intelligent souls I could possibly call acquaintances. Such individuals living here for far longer than fathomable, happy to accept a mind hungry for knowledge in exchange for interaction. More than I could ever hope to gain in the lifetime I could spend here...

In spite of such sights and every soul, however, there was a piece missing. My home - my old home - still remained a mystery to me, a world I could no longer so much as think of visiting again, a world with no prospects of exploring its wonders, such was the fate of my predicament as a shade, emancipated from the old life. I knew not of the events having occurred in the time following my passing; perhaps I did not need to worry about such affairs in my state, yet such lack of knowledge was the source of a yearning insatiable. Thus, when I learned of the pond - this mesmerizing body of reflective water deep within the Empyreum - capable of viewing into the outside world, my curiosity won out in the end.

Never would I be able to turn back and live my stagnant afterlife, my stale retirement, once my window into the old life presented this sight so infuriating. Long after news of my passing, my rivals of diplomacy from whom I was martyred had worked to tarnish my image, the work I had sought so hard to push was being pushed back, poisoned by jealousy and abused by greed. All my effort: the relationships I helped established, the policies I co-written, the very legacy I worked so hard to build throughout my career.

Eradicated.

Devastating so was this news, no mercy granted such a revelation. For years, my rest had allowed the seeds of disharmony to sprout and take root and infect the soil. That coward, my assailant, did NOTHING to stop this infestation, and such lack of action was the death knell of society composed of the virtuous crowd and thus the floodgates opened for the elite, the so-called “barons of industry” to steal democracy away from those deserving of a fair and just life. Indeed, what I saw broke my heart...

But it also opened my eyes.

Even still, not all hope was lost. For I have established new oaks in this realm and the fruits of my labor so sweet had demonstrated their worth. Beyond this idle hollowness that binds me lies a road to do right which had been wronged, to fulfil this incomplete journey I’d started, albeit involuntarily, in life that I now seek to see through to the end. I must seek more than this, I must be granted access to the tools I would need to avenge both myself and those who have been left behind in the clutches of such vileness. I must abandon this luxury afforded to me by my own virtue, sacrifice my pleasures allotted to me and take up the mantle to fight back. I refuse to stand back and witness this assassination of my character.

For all that is honorable and virtuous, in my own regard, I must join the ministry of grace.

Observing such trials granted to those who seek similar appointments, it was with her that I must request: the Mother of the Empyrium, the Dogma of the heavens. She, whose words would emasculate and destroy the egotistic, would have to grant me access to the Earthly Paradise to join the ranks among them.

Righteous, for which I would be. Gracious, for which I would stand. Fearless, in which I would walk. I stood before the protuberance, this daunting trial that regal dragon commands of me; this trek would last a single lifetime in isolation, executed in unison among other apprentices of grace, yet an undertaking I and only I alone would proceed with.

Eight terraces, the seven trials along the road to the Earthly Paradise, on which an apprentice successful would bask in the light of their glory. The antechamber crossed, the first terrace presents itself, a labor for the proud. Under cover the light I’ve grown so distrustful of, my only avenue for ascent, a single weight carried as my sole accomplice. Should the embodiment of her grace fade on the horizon, no further progress should be made, static in a rest. Shrouded in a blanket of stars. Humbling, the intention of this exertion, that no one individual seeks superiority among his peers.

Inefficient. The word I would describe this leg of my trek. One was intended to grow subservient in this action of supposed humility, to see fellow brothers and sisters as equals, ambitions dissolved of ill intention. Merely replaced with resentment.

The first victory awarded, the second terrace arrives to torment me, a labor for the envious. Instantaneous, such a blinding iron etched within my eyes, crowning a robe uncomfortable and allegedly unappealing, both alike smiting akin to lightning. A sightless task lay before me, a perilous pilgrimage to the summit, my one saving grace being nothing seen of that coward’s symbol.

Might this binding of the senses be excessive? Such barbarism supposedly was to persuade a practice of simplicity, to lack pleasures and to shun desire to attain such pleasures. Yet the ministers of grace, who are hailed as shining bastions live the best of life’s pleasures.

Alas, much time has passed. A second wind has been bestowed, along with the removal of the binds of one’s retinas. Her light was no better prior to the five years spent absent of sight, worse off her light as that sight was returned, as was the accompanying migraine. Past the gates, the third terrace lies in waiting, the labor of the wrathful. Whilst before such blindness was literal, the thickened smoke played a figurative example, less a burden on the eyes but on the lungs.

Years one could spend wallowing in thy own rage before the smoke would clear, anger self-destructive, yet not all anger is unwarranted. Such a system designed by the heavens ignore the activism put forth by channeled fury; indeed such political changes for the better would hold no ground were it not for those masses wronged, by which they rightfully hold the desire to clear this smoldering blanket. For where smoke exists, an inferno sits in tandem. There is no difference, however, in the eyes of the ministry; all flames would be alike in danger.

Beyond to the next challenge, the fourth terrace marking the halfway point, the labor of the slothful. Zeal reigns supreme, no shortage of enthusiasm, the apprentices enraptured in mindless action, tasks worthless in meaning besides a lesson in diligence.

Empty action without purpose breeds aimlessness. The desire to act is valuable, though mindless drones performing jobs outside of their expertise, lacking investment, grow weaker in cohesion; this is in contrast to those who possess a certain loyalty to their work and wish to see it prosper. What is zeal without enthusiasm, and what is enthusiasm without motivation, purpose, or even compensation?

Apathetic in my gait, my journey brings me at the gates of the fifth terrace, in which the labor of covetous. With chains, binding of leg and wing, horn and hoof, surrounded by the most prestigious of earthly treasures, possessions the apprentice could be allowed should they turn back now, albeit limited in holding. Of course, forfeiting passage into the Earthly Paradise, choosing the riches sought by many on Gaea.

Coveting such desires, in my nature, proved to be a pointless endeavour. My soul needs not gold, nor diamond, nor silk. Enrichment equates to scholarship, not wealth, for life in which I have carried out both in the mortal coil and the current of the departed. Furthermore, the attitude towards wealth should not merely be measured in treasury. What of the hoarding of knowledge? What of the accumulation of sovereignty? Perhaps these things are not unrelated.

Hunger has set in, a conundrum not since my younger years on Gaea have I experienced this. An ordeal trailing as my accomplice entering the sixth terrace, the labor of the gluttonous waiting with a colossus of a tree, presenting a numerous assortment of fruit, delectable and nutritious, outside my reach. Though my chains have vanished, my desire for nourishment did not, a torment sprawled and persistent among my kin, apprentices clamoring for even a single elusive pomegranate to release us from starvation. One must take only what is required, to take more was to surrender admittance into the ministry, to be denied from the destination near.

I cannot possibly understand the intention of famishment as a means to cleanse addiction. How was one to be revoked a simple pleasure - no, an absolute life necessity - for the means of advancement, in the effort for reform? Is the complete absence of vice really a catalyst to grace? To filter the unworthy? Or was such a starvation in truth one particle of consolidation through means of discouragement; to persuade the apprentices to concede their bid for the ministry, freeing the incumbent for a continuation of heavenly dynasty?

Ever determined, my apprenticeship would suffer no falter in determination. The final leg of my ascent drew near, signaled with burning arcades for entrance into the seventh terrace, for the labor of the lustful. Earth scorched and air arid, a road entrenched in conflagration intense, no alternate pathways available. Not save for the road opposite the destination. Temptation abound as shade after shade offered sanctuary in the promise of intimacy, out in the safety from blaze.

Vacant was my heart, and especially mine loins. There was no desire for filling such a vacancy for either, with my sole partner being my ambition. Too far have I come to change such a mindset, for which so much stood to be lost. For the love of one’s self is to be achieved before the love one’s neighbor.

Emerging ever charred yet confident in accomplishment, standing before the pearly gate. The Earthly Paradise, guarded and maintained by the ministry of arms, the Cherubim, grandiose and majestic. Welcoming was the embrace of victory, a nomad wandering decades upon decades, such was my time on this island of isolation. To finally see paradise was an event satisfying, yet my experiences left many questions, for which would not be answered for time to come. Setting aside my apprehensions, I met with her, the very ministry of grace admitting me after death, my guardian, my mentor, my confidant. Her smile radiant as her beauty. Her wings extended, offering my reward for my sacrifices. A silence beside myself, not in elation, but in hesitation. Acceptance pledged allegiance to the very ministry I have questioned in my time traded for the pursuit of membership, with which came privilege required in the time to come. I would not stand down. The extension of my hoof and the contact with her ministry’s wings shook the earth on which I stood, tremors resonating deep down, felt by other apprentices starting their own journeys. Of light and fire, engulfed, this final labor would last merely minutes. Cleared of this envelope, I took form, body of marble, mane of gold, and dress of silk. My one wing, a symbol of my struggle, split into the ribbons mirroring my mentor, now colleague, my tail following such the same example. Armed with my experiences, I share in the burden to maintain natural harmony. I am now of the ministry, a warrior for grace, not of it.

Divine intervention, the privilege that would aid my reformation of the world I left behind, my birthplace long tainted with sins of Gaea’s greatest enemy; herself. It would be with my initiative that she would relearn her greatest lessons. Courage, moral and physical, a quality for prosperity. Prudence, in wisdom would we make our greatest innovation. Temperance, to hold one’s wants to achieve one’s needs. Justice, a basis for integrity and fairness, a measure of value for society. Diligence, the persistence that drives change. Humility, the sacrifice made in the interest of our kin. My journey has yielded an abundance of tales, and with the completion of this trek I start anew. Done now is my pondering the significance of my exploits. From womb to grave and beyond, a fate both fortuitous and tragic, my ceaseless journey is far from complete; on the contrary, it is now that I can truly begin the machinations I intend, with indented reflection serving as both a symbol of my hardship and as a message to my contemporaries. Thus, beyond my life devoid of choice, upon this throne of ethereal gold and silk, I stand tall perched, overlooking atop this world of my own creation.

Author's Note:

So... almost five years later, a new chapter in this epic involving heaven stuck in development hell.

I do hope you'll forgive the long absence. Besides my old co-author no longer working on this thing, the only excuse I have is my turbulent personal life that, frankly, made me withdraw from being an active part of the community. I won't get into details, I'll only say that I'm eager to get back and work on this thing.

As you can see, there has been some restructuring going on with this old project. This story is going to undergo a complete rewrite with some dynamic changes in the plot, themes, and order of events. I will go into more detail in the future, but in order to avoid the stress and disappointment from the old days, just know the update schedule is gonna be more flexible for me; no more adhering to a weekly schedule like before, chapters will go up when they are done and I'm ready to upload them with artwork and the additional work.

As always, if you are an old reader of this project, thank you so much for sticking it out and putting up with my flakiness, I hope I can try to satisfy with the new project; just know that a lot is going to change, some you may agree with, some you may not. And if you are a new reader of this project since it's republishing, thank you for taking time out of your day to read this little derail of mine and I hope you can enjoy comparing the old with the new as it happens.

Have a good day.

By the way, there is a hidden message in this story, just read the first letter of each paragraph.

Comments ( 16 )

Well then! Happy to see this one once again. I was like "Nooo... Oh my god, it's true. Ohhhh Yessss!:pinkiehappy:

Looking forward to more!

10066825
We do use the term today, though. And could you elaborate on your comment? I'm kinda confused in regard to you, well, writing it. Also, I'm kinda dubious about the reality of your statement since the term "Blitzkrieg" was apparently first used in an article from 1935 in a German military magazine ("Deutsche Wehr"). Though I have to admit to my source being Wikipedia. Actually, I just read the English site to the topic and there its origins are said to be obscure. The question now is: "Which is right?" Though I guess it doesn't matter all the much.

Anyway, still wondering what that got to do with anything?

Holy hell, glad to see an update for this!

Holy sweet merciful Buddha on a unicycle.
The story has resurrected itself.

Now, who did the sacrifice to Satan and what have you used.
I need that knowledge. There's about fifty stories in my tracking that could use treatment like this.

10067148
Funny you mention Satan, considering I was reading Paradise Lost in preparation for this chapter.

Do ever get that feeling where someone updates a story that haven't done in a long time and notification for it. You're like "What's this story?" and you read it and then you're like "OOOOOOOOOOH!!!! I remember this now, damn I reread this to remember what this was about again!", cuz when I got the notification for this, I was like that.

Anyways, nice to have you back!

10067687
One of the best things about being a writer in the digital age is seeing the comedic feedback of one's audience. :rainbowlaugh:

WELCOME BACK 🌈

twas several years ago that this fic was my fave fic. I remember that whenever it updated I would squeal with joy and my heart would pound in my chest. Then when updates stopped happening i gradually forgot about this fic until sometime last year i went through my old accounts favourites. i found this again and i saw that you had planned for a rewrite/to continue the story and i was excited, but had no idea when it would come. I simply put this in my read later for that day. I, tonight, was looking through the last updated in my read later and saw this and now we are here tonight to celebrate the return of a glorious fic.

I have no idea whats going on but I'm already re enthralled with this fic and I can't wait to see where you retake it. I'm really happy to see you back.

10080793
I'm glad to make you happy. Just a head up though, it will take awhile before the next one comes along, I honestly have no timeline to give you on when that will be, aside from other projects I want to get out, I have some IRL issues going on that kinda take priority including job and studies. I'll make time where I can though.

10645435
What? It could have been pony Sephiroth! I mean, the description of the pony made it sound like pony Sephiroth!

and it had what appeared to be an elaborate halo floating above its head.

10645457
I laughed because you aren't exactly wrong.

10645480
Oh. And here I thought that I was wrong because Sephiroth doesn't seem like the type of individual who would rely on other people to do his work for him. Of course, I only know about Sephiroth because of his DeathBattle against Vergil but...

10645489
I'll be frank, I don't really know anything about Sephiroth either, I'm not really a FF guy.

But I'd be lying if there wasn't a One-Winged Angel joke at the time of writing.

10850274

5905992

In all fairness the comment brings up a lot of good points. I have the benefit of half a decade's worth of hindsight and even at the time I was making some questionable writing choices that I knew I was going to go back and fix eventually. In my defense, this was my first major project I was actively working on. Some of it was also my co-author at the time, but I take the majority of the responsibility for presenting a lot of the ideas in the first place. Before then, I had only really worked on short stories that were one-shots at most, so a project of this size was pretty ambitious. But that came with a lot of problems that I thought I was prepared for and when I look back on a lot of this now, I'm not displeased with the overall story or the direction it went, but I could make a book with the amount of things I would go back and change it later when I thought of how to fix it. Well, that hasn't really happened become of some reasons. I've since learned to just get it right the first time.

It also doesn't help that I was undergoing a lot of burnout with a lot of rules I set for myself and many real life things going on at the time, including a mental breakdown which I'm not going to go into details about. That essentially killed the project in it's current state and some time ago I decided I wanted to eventually do a complete rewrite of the story someday with a new co-author. I have no ETA on that rewrite though, it may be quite a long time considering I have a few other things going on and with this being a hobby right now, it's not a huge priority for me. My energy is being invested into my newer project Queen of Crimson Crows and possibly a new project that is related to ESZ.

Whatever the case may be, I'm glad for anyone who enjoys the work that was put into this story, faults and all. And if you aren't particularly fond of the direction the story went or just the nature of the story entirely, I completely understand and even share many of your criticisms with it. I like to think I've moved on from many of those mistakes and learned my lessons. I'll be taking my time and thinking things well out in future projects. :moustache:

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