• Published 1st Feb 2014
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Ein Sof Zealotry - ZhaoZoharEX



Twilight Sparkle has never felt so lonely. After what happened at her brother’s wedding rehearsal she can’t but question her friends’ worth, and once she starts doubting one part of her life, second thoughts about the rest soon foll

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Chapter 15

Original Title: Settling Dust
This chapter is part of the older version of "Ein Sof Zealotry" and is to be considered non-canon in lieu of the pending rewrite. This along with the rest of the old story remain for the purpose of comparison.


“Rares?” Applejack asked. “What just happened?”

Rarity, still stunned from Spike’s outburst, took a moment before speaking up. “Girls, I… I am afraid... that our friend is no more. That was a goodbye note addressed to Spike. Twilight…”

“Rarity? Just stop,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“Twilight’s gone?” Pinkie said confused. “But… We were going to make it up to her. We had a party and everything-”

“Pinkie!” Fluttershy snapped, surprising everypony. “I know you mean the best, we all do. But the party is the least of our concerns.”

“Fluttershy?”

“Um, sorry.”

Applejack grunted as she shook her head. “Do we even know if she’s really dead? What if she just ran away?”

“Well…” Rarity responded. “I do suppose that’s a possibility. The letter didn’t exactly state it.”

“Then there’s a chance! We have ta find her and let her know just how much we care about her. We owe her and… Ah refuse ta believe she’s dead. Ah don’t wanna believe another pony Ah love so dearly died because I acted so foalishly.”

“Applejack’s right!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Maybe she’s just hiding from everypony. If so, the Everfree Forest would probably be the best hiding spot.”

“Zecora! Of course!” Rarity said with new found hope. “Twilight visits quite often. Perhaps she may be able to tell us something.”

“Yeah, let’s go see her!”

“Um, hold on a second girls,” Fluttershy said halting them. “Shouldn’t we maybe tell the other ponies in town to start searching? If we do that then they can cover more ground while we search the forest.”

“Hm. That’s actually not a bad idea sugarcube. Tell ya what, why don’t you, Pinkie, and me tell the town while the rest go see Zecora. Hopefully, we can find Twi before anything else happens.”

“Sounds good, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash grabbed Rarity’s hoof and bolted towards the Everfree Forest. “C’mon Rarity! No time to waste!”

“Ow! Careful with that hoof, dear.”

As the unicorn and pegasus infiltrated the forest, the remaining three ponies went to work going around town, going to houses, establishments, anywhere where there was somepony to ask.

Pinkie Pie’s first visit was to her own home in Sugarcube Corner, where the party for Twilight was supposed to be held. It was also the workplace of a family she trusted well: the Cakes, her employers and landlords. When she rushed inside, she saw her surrogate family beginning to retire for the night so as not to get in the way of the party that was planned.

“Mr and Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie said panting from her sprint.

“Pinkie? What’s wrong? You seem more anxious than normal,” Cup Cake said concerned.

“Have you seen Twilight? She wasn’t in the library at all.”

“Uh, no we haven’t seen much of her since her coronation. Why, did something happen to-” Carrot Cake didn’t get a chance to finish his question before Pinkie sprinted upstairs. On the second floor, there were many party patrons waiting for the return of their hosts. Pinkie practically mowed a few down trying to get into the room where the festivities were being held.

“Everypony! Sorry, but I need to cancel the party. We have a more important problem right now. Twilight’s missing and I need you all to help look for her!”


Rarity and Rainbow Dash trekked through the Everfree Forest, noticing more mud than usual as well as a path of charred trees that seemed to have been burned several weeks or even months prior.

“Geez, whoever came down here last sure did a number on these things,” Rainbow commented.

“What’s with all the mud? I thought the last rainfall was a week ago. This mud is filthy!”

“Rarity, the forest is always filthy. Besides, a little mud is the least of our problems right now. I just hope Zecora can provide us with anything useful. I hate to wonder what happened to Twilight.”

“Rainbow, do you think she could really be…?”

“Unless I find her, I want to say no. Spike said she was there when he left so she’s only been gone for three hours at most. If we act fast enough, we will find her.”

“Don’t forget, dear. This is Twilight, the genius of magic we’re talking about. For all we know, she could be on the other side of the world by now.”

“Then we’ll just have to hope for the best. She’s been going to Zecora’s an awful lot in the past year so maybe she knows something that could help us, or at least steer us in the right direction. Besides, would you go through so much trouble as to teleport far away when you would plan to...” Rainbow trailed off when she realized she wasn’t helping the mood.

“I do hope you are right about that.”

“So do I.”

Due to the muddy pathways, Rarity found it harder to walk through the forest than all the other times she had been in it. Not only did the mud make it hard to find solid ground, but the water also attracted a lot of mosquitos which annoyed both of them to no end. Rainbow Dash also had wings to get around the hazardous areas. Rarity wasn’t as fortunate. Before long, Rarity found herself stranded in the middle of a miniature lake of mud and water, unable to continue further.

“You know, you could be HELPING me, Rainbow Dash. It’s not like I still have those wings.”

“Fine. Hold on.” Rainbow flew over to Rarity and lifted her into the air, carrying her over to the dry land. Or rather drier land as the case may be. “There. Happy?”

“Quite so, yes.”

Not too long afterwards did they finally arrive at Zecora’s tree home. After unsuccessfully trying not to trip on the underbrush and into the mud, Rarity knocked on the door. Not a moment later, the shaman answered.

“My precious friends, what brings you here across the land? Your coats disheveled, manes covered in mud and sand. Come in my home, we’ll get you all clean. Meanwhile though, what does your visit here mean?”

As Rarity walked inside, coat and mane covered in mud, Rainbow tried the best she could to hold back a few snickers; if not for the circumstances of their visit she would have just let it out.

“Hey Zecora. Sorry to drop in unannounced, but we have a serious problem. Twilight, well, she’s gone missing and we were wondering if you could tell us anything. You’ve been seeing her a lot over the past year or so.”

“Indeed, she has come now and then. If I’m to help you, I must know how and when. Explain to me your moral plight, yet remember the truth may have another side.”

Rainbow Dash started to explain to Zecora the problems they had been having with Twilight since the day prior to the argument between her and Celestia became public. Everything from the meeting they had with the princess, up to the eve of Twilight’s disappearance. Zecora listened attentively, as did Rarity while washing up, correcting and filling in any details that Rainbow Dash got wrong or missed. Just as Rarity finished washing up, Rainbow Dash concluded her retelling of the events.

“So that’s why we need to find her. The way she phrased things in that note makes it sounds like… You know. We need to find her before she does something serious,” Rarity concluded. “As Rainbow and I speak to you now, the other girls are getting help from town. And Spikey Wikey… He isn’t taking this well at all.”

Zecora took a sip of her tea, finishing off the cup. “You have been through quite a lot. So I will give you what I’ve got. I must apologize for giving so little information, but I think you will find this useful in your situation. I will help you the best I can, but for that we need a plan. I will help with the search, the forest at least. I shall cover what I can, west to east.”

“Okay. If you say so.” Rainbow Dash said disappointed, having expected more.

“Come on Rainbow Dash. I know we didn’t find much, but I think we should leave this to Zecora. She knows her way around here more than we do. Let’s go meet up with the others.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

The two ponies made their way out the door and as they closed it, Zecora could hear a scream of surprise followed by a splash.

“Oh for crying out loud! I just washed up!” Zecora heard Rarity yell. She couldn’t help but smirk at this as she watched the two fade into the darkness of the forest through her window. Once they were far enough away, Zecora prepared for an expedition of her own into the forest, in the opposite direction. While she didn’t know where Twilight was exactly, she had an idea where to look first. If Twilight wasn’t there, she could at least talk to her former housemate.

However, as she approached the area, she could tell right away this wouldn’t be possible. In the clearing she was familiar with she saw a patch of scorched earth and wood scattered about. The area still had a lingering stench of burning wood and vegetation, indicating the area as affected just recently, no more than a couple hours ago at most. On examining the scattered wood, Zecora noticed the grooves common in building. The grooves also were not torn out, indicating the cabin was taken apart rather than violently destroyed.

“So she is alive,” Zecora thought out loud. “And it looks like her two friends went with her.”


There was a flash of golden light in one of the alleys and a gray pegasus mare appeared on the pavement out of nowhere, immediately plopping down on her rump. She shook her head to stop the world from spinning and took several deep breaths.

Phew, being pegasus has its advantages. Imagine if I were born as a unicorn, teleporting would be my main means of travel. Bleh! Twice in less than a day. Next time I’ll choose to walk no matter how far it will be.

Ditzy finally composed herself and glanced around, making sure there were no onlookers around. Explaining why she just got teleported wouldn’t be the best way to start a day, especially after an almost restless night. I’ll get some rest during the day. Today’s not my duty anyway. But I shouldn’t waste a free day with sleeping either. We’ll do something fun with Dinky and Sparkler and I will just go to bed a bit earlier.

With that decided, she picked herself up from the pavement and left the alley, making her way home. It was but a brief walk; the angels chose a spot close by for her to reappear. Despite the early hour, the sun having just risen minutes ago, there was much more activity on the streets than Ditzy expected. Ponies were walking seemingly aimlessly from one dark corner to another, occasionally stopping to share something in hushed whispers. While Ditzy was intrigued by this mystery, her fatigue won over her curiosity and soon she was opening the front door of her house.

Once inside, she listened carefully to any noises, but the house remained quiet, peaceful sleepiness filling the air. Huh, of course they are asleep. It’s Saturday, why wouldn’t they be? Especially since I allowed Dinky to stay up longer. At least they won’t be worried.

She entered the kitchen and immediately put a kettle on the stove to prepare some coffee. The first cup vanished in two big gulps and she poured herself another quickly. Setting it on the table, she decided to prepare some tastier breakfast than cereals for her daughters. Baking supplies were never sparse in the household, this time they would just serve for pancakes.

She just finished setting two full plates on the table and planned to go upstairs to wake her girls, when she heard a surprised and gleeful gasp from the door. “MOM! You’re home! I’m so happy. Sparkler forced me to brush my teeth for whole four minutes. She says it was two, but I counted!” Dinky launched herself forward and Ditzy caught her in the air, wrapping her in her wings.

“Some more brushing surely didn’t hurt, right? You stayed up longer than usual so you also brushed for longer. That’s fair, isn’t it?” Seeing the frown Dinky was giving her, most likely feeling betrayed, Ditzy changed tactics to distraction. “The breakfast is already ready, I’m sure it will help you forget that injustice.” She nodded to the table and Dinky obediently looked in the indicated direction.

“Pancakes!” she exclaimed, extricated herself from her mother’s embrace and hopped to the table.

Wow, I’ll have to make more. She has an appetite like a timberwolf. Heh, I’ll have to pull that one on Trixie sometime.

“Good morning, mom. Don’t believe her a word, it really was just two minutes. It’s not my fault she counts quicker than a hummingbird.” Sparkler walked into the kitchen and quickly pecked her mother on a cheek, taking her place at the table. “Hey! Those are mine, stop stealing my breakfast, you glutton!”

“When you come late, you don’t get pancakes. And I’m no glutton! …what’s a glutton?” Dinky looked sincerely confused, which proved to be very adorable with the crumbs of pancakes and smudges of jam on her muzzle.

“A pony who eats too much, Dinky. But you are not one, you should just leave other ponies’ food alone,” Ditzy explained. “Don’t worry, I can make more in a jiffy. I’ll just make more batter.” As she reached for the pack of flour however, a quiet knock echoed from the front door. Sparkler started getting up to answer the door, but Ditzy stopped her. “Keep eating, I’ll take care of it.”

She trotted to the hallway and without asking opened the door. Ponyville was safe enough place to not be afraid. On the other side she found decidedly exhausted looking Fluttershy, her mane matted and bags under her reddened eyes.

“Goodness, Fluttershy! You look horrible! Come in, we are just having breakfast, you look like you could use some snack.” She beckoned Fluttershy inside, but the yellow pegasus made no move to take the invitation.

“Um, thank you Ditzy, you know that I always like to spend some time with you, but I don’t have time today.” She even sounded fairly exhausted, her voice even quieter than usually.

“Oh? What’s up then? Did something happen? Can I help you somehow?”

“If you don’t mind, I need to ask you something.” She pawed the ground in hesitation, but then looked Ditzy straight in the eye. “Yesterday we went to throw Twilight a party, but she wasn’t in the library. All we found was a note saying she is leaving. It sounded… We are scared. Nopony has seen her since yesterday afternoon. We are looking everywhere. Please, did you see her?”

Ditzy took in the hopeful and pleading look that overtook Fluttershy’s face and shuddered. She is a friend, but… But I can’t tell her. She would continue asking and everything would go awry. This… this hurts… She adopted a saddened expression, something easily done in her state of mind. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I haven’t seen her. I haven’t left the house since my shift ended.”

“Oh.” Ditzy couldn’t believe how crestfallen Fluttershy became after the answer. “Well, thank you anyway. I’ll go look further. I just hope we will find her soon.”

“You should take a moment to nap too, Fluttershy. You need it bad. And don’t worry, I am sure Twilight will show up eventually,” Ditzy called after her retreating friend. She closed the door and turned to head back to the kitchen, but found herself face to face with her daughters.

“Why did you lie to Fluttershy? You said that you didn’t leave the house or see Twilight. But you went with her to Canterlot,” Sparkler immediately asked, confusion overweighting accusation in her voice. Ditzy belonged to the ponies who rarely told lies, and when she did, it was always for a good reason.

She looked a bit taken aback by the direct question, but decided to stick with truth. “Twilight asked me to keep our trip secret. Could you do the same for me? Don’t tell anypony that she was here yesterday, ok?”

“Why? Did she do something bad? Is she alright?” Sparkler continued the interrogation, Dinky showing her support by nodding fervently.

“She did nothing bad. Other ponies did, and so she wants to take some time to relax. Don’t worry, she is alright, she just wants to stay away from others,” Ditzy assured them and followed it with a warm smile.

“Okay, we won’t tell anypony. It just feels bad to lie to our friends. Will you make us more pancakes?” Dinky said, concerns forgotten for the moment. They trotted back to the kitchen and Ditzy returned to cooking.

You have no idea how bad it feels to lie to your friends, sweetheart. But I will make sure nopony will have to lie anymore. I promise.


“Do you think she will be surprised?”

“Oh definitely! I’m actually a bit worried about how surprised she will be. She could start hyperventilation and go into panic mode because one of her books is out of place while we visit. And then because she didn’t study about being an aunt at all.”

“Honey, from her friends and Celestia I know that she hasn’t done that for more than three months now. Give her some credit. Besides, alicorns are immune to shock, otherwise we couldn’t hold court at all.”

“I know Twily, Cadance. She is capable of many things and if she decides that going into shock is the right answer, she will do so, an alicorn or not.”

“Let’s keep the decision to her then. Spike will sure know how to snap her out of it. He must be trained for that by now.”

The two ponies shared a laugh and pressed closer to one another’s side, Shining’s hoof resting on Cadance’s stomach, as the train carried them closer to Ponyville. “It was a great idea to end the journey with visiting Twilight, honey. Much better than going straight back to the Crystal Empire.”

“Thanks, I just thought it would be pleasant to see a friendly face after three weeks of meeting minotaurs. Don’t you think they look permanently angry?” He scrunched his face, bared his teeth and bent a bit forward so that his head was between his shoulders. “Arrr I am a mighty minotaur chieftain and if you don’t accept my conditions, I will chase you around on my tiny legs!”

Cadance giggled and pretended to be on the threshold of fainting. “Mercy, oh mighty chieftain! No matter that your legs are smaller than your horns and that I have wings, you would surely catch me and do unspeakable things with me!”

“I most certainly will do some unspeakable things with you. But not here, somepony may come. Can you imagine the scandal? ‘Princess Mi Amore Cadenza caught in flagrante on board of a train.’ Journalists would have a field day.”

“I would just use my title of the princess of love. They would have to understand. But I think Twilight has a spare bedroom in her library. Maybe if we ask her nicely, she will lend it to us.” She fluttered her eyelashes at Shining and with a mischievous smirk dodged his attempt for a kiss. “Beware, my prince, there might be a journalist under our seats!”

They returned to their comfortable embrace and watched the land pass by. After a while, Cadance broke the silence. “She will love the news, I can’t wait to see her reaction. And she will be the best aunt ever. She will surely insist on spending more time in Crystal Empire foalsitting our foal than in Canterlot.”

“Not sure how Celestia would react to that. She seemed quite happy to have another princess around.” Shining chuckled. “But you are right, she will be great. We’ll just have to forbid her teaching our foal too many spells. I want to be the one deciding when it is time to sleep.”

As the train pulled into the Ponyville railway station, morning sun reflecting from the shiny roofs of the carriages, they were already standing by the door, eagerly awaiting the upcoming meeting. Shining couldn’t be sure, but he suspected Cadance was hopping in place a little, though she tried to hide it with shifting her weight from one leg to other. Small flutters of her wings however spoke clearly.

With the door opening, they jumped out and immediately started out of the train station and into the town. They didn’t make it far though when they realized a slight problem in their plan.

“Shining?”

“Mhm?”

“Where does Twilight live?”

“In a library?”

“Yes, very helpful. Where is the library then?” Cadance asked, letting her irritation to be known.

“Uh. I have no idea. I have never been here before,” Shining said apologetically, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

“You don’t know where your sister lives? And don’t you dare to say ‘in the library’.” She threw him a glare, but a smile tugging on the corners of her lips didn’t go unnoticed. “We will just ask locals.” Not wasting any time she trotted to a mare choosing wares from a market stall. “Excuse me? Could you point me to where Twilight Sparkle lives?” she asked with a pleasant smile.

The mare turned to her and frowned as if she bit into a lemon. “Yeah, very funny. Now go and think up some other sick jokes. And wipe that smirk of your face!” She stormed off, muttering about ponies not keeping any piety.

Cadance stood there dumbfounded, not comprehending what just happened. Shining trotted to her and waved a hoof in front of her eyes. “Cadance? Are you alright?”

“What? Yes, yes I’m ok, just a bit taken aback. Maybe you were right about alicorns and shock after all.” She nuzzled his neck, trying to rein her confused thoughts. “She probably doesn’t know where Twilight lives. And had an extraordinary bad day. Maybe if we ask about the library, we will be more lucky.”

This new approach proved fruitful and soon they were on their way to the library. When it came in sight, they silently agreed that such a dominant building would be easily found on their own. The surroundings of the library seemed abandoned compared to other parts of the town, as if the ponies kept away from it on purpose. They didn’t pay it any mind though and happily trotted to the door, ringing the bell and waiting to be allowed in by their surprised family members. In the end, it was them who was surprised though.

“Go away! How many darn times do I have to tell you that I don’t want any company?! Just leave me alone!” Although muffled by the thick door, Spike’s voice betrayed no small amount of anger and something else they couldn’t quite place. They exchanged a confused look and then Cadance went to playful counter offensive.

“If that’s how you welcome all visitors, I am surprise anypony in Ponyville still reads.” A series of quick footsteps echoed from inside, and the door swung open violently, revealing panting Spike who looked like he had seen better days. His scales could use a polishing and from how sunken his tummy was, he hadn’t been eating much. “Spike? Wha-”

“Cadance! Shining! Oh I’m so glad to see you! This is all so horrible and I am going mad here!” He wrapped his arms around Cadance’s neck, holding for his dear life. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t write to you. I didn’t know where you were. But you found out still. It’s so horrible.”

His barely coherent babbling had the same effect as a cold shower on the two ponies. Cadance could do nothing else but to return the hug as he didn’t seem to let go anytime soon. Shining tried to puzzle whatever information from Spike’s words and what he got wasn’t pleasant. “Spike, what’s horrible? What were we supposed to find out? We just dropped by to surprise you and Twilight. Where is she anyway?”

Spike pulled away from the hug and wiped his nose. “You… you don’t know? Like about the argument? Or what happened?”

“What don’t we know, Spike? What’s going on? You’re scaring us!” Cadance said sternly, losing patience from concern.

“Come in,” Spike said with a sigh. “This will take a bit longer.” They followed him inside and sat down on a couch in the main library area. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No, Spike. Tell us what’s going on already,” Shining demanded.

“Alright, alright. I’ll just get something from upstairs. It will help the explanation.” He retreated to the living quarters and the ponies turned to each other.

“This doesn’t look good. I’ve never seen him in such a bad state. And look around. There is dust on the table and all the curtains are closed. I don’t like this a single bit,” Cadance said with worry.

“It will be alright. Probably just some minor crisis or something. Right, Spike?” Shining turned to the dragon walking down the stairs, two pieces of paper in his hand. One looked like a letter, the other a newspaper clipping.

“No,” the dragon said tiredly, “nothing like that. You asked where Twilight is. Gone.”

“Like she was sent to some journey or went on a trip?” Shining asked with hope that the problem would turn out to be so trivial.

“I don’t know, ok? How many times… Sorry. Everypony has been asking the same thing for last four days.” He handed them the letter. “Here, make of it what you want. That’s all I know.” They unfurled the letter and read it, reacting exactly as Spike expected. Cadance buried her face in Shining’s shoulder and started sobbing, Shining dropping the letter to the ground, mouth slightly open. Spike bent down and picked the letter, pressing it to his chest for a second before rolling it again.

“Does mom and dad know?" he asked in constricted voice.

“Of course they do. I sent them a letter the day after we found this. I haven’t heard from them since. They must be devastated. I sure am…”

“But… but why? Why would she…?” Cadance asked in between sobs.

“Why? Ask her darn friends why they acted like pricks to her again. Or Celestia why she has to hurt everypony close to her!” Spike said through gritted teeth and handed them the second paper. This time, however, he didn’t see the reaction coming.

“I will destroy her!” Cadance seethed. “I will take her crown and feed it to her!” Shining wrapped his hooves around her to keep her steady as she descended to tears.

“Shh. It will be alright. I will help you do that, but there are more important things to right now.” He turned to Spike. “Did you request help of the Royal Guard?”

“Yeah, they arrived quickly and have been searching ever since. Apart from some traces of fire in Everfree they didn’t find a single thing though.”

“At least there is no direct evidence that she is dead,” Shining muttered to himself. “We should visit mom and dad. They probably need some support. And we as well.”

“Well then-” Spike began, but was interrupted by a doorbell and a voice from outside.

“Spikey? Please open the door. I made you some lunch and want to talk to you. Please don’t stay cooped there all alone. We are sorry, just let us in!”

Spike clenched his fist, and shut his eyes firmly. “No, I won’t stay cooped in here, Rarity. You are right,” he whispered. Then he turned to Shining again. “Could you wait few minutes? This won’t take long.” Shining nodded his consent expecting Spike to open the door, but the dragon ran back upstairs instead, taking both papers with him. Shining continued to console Cadance with gently caressing her back and mane. Few thuds were heard from upstair and in less than five minutes Spike returned, this time with two suitcases.

“Four days. Four days of constant visits, begging to be allowed in, apologizing for what can’t be forgiven. I have had enough,” he stated with exhaustion. “I can’t stand this place either. Everything reminds me of her. Could I… could I stay with you in Crystal Empire for a while? You are the closest to family I have now.”

Minutes later, three figures - two ponies and a dragon - left the library through the backdoor as to avoid meeting any lingering visitors at the front, and made their way back to the train station.


“I just don’t understand Raven. Why did I have to push things this far? Was I really that cruel with her?”

“Princess, I can’t deny you went too far with that argument. But grieving isn’t going to accomplish anything and it certainly won’t help her family any.”

“Family… Yeah, I will have to sit down with them. I should do that soon.”

“Would you like me to accompany you, Princess?”

“No. I need to take responsibility and do this alone. They’re not going to like it, but…”

“I understand, Princess. If you need anything, let me know.”

Raven did a quick respectful bow before heading out of the throne room. Ever since her argument with her former student, Celestia had had a hard time performing even the most trivial tasks and her appearance reflected that as her coat and mane didn’t flow or shine as much as they used to. While she didn’t look too bad, she definitely looked a lot gloomier, one could even say as dull as the regalia she wore which had not been polished since the incident happened. Indeed, she was looking less of a monarch now than she’d ever been.

Celestia had been debating for several days now whether or not to visit Twilight’s family to talk and apologize over their daughter’s abdication. However, when she saw the article in the newspaper, not only was she flooded with questions day by day from the press, but she also didn’t feel it was appropriate to talk to them with what the article said. She’d preferred the commotion to die down a bit before doing so, but with the news of Twilight’s supposed death, she knew she would have to face her mistakes now or never.

After hesitantly preparing for the day, taking more effort than usual to look better than she had the past few days with little success, she slowly walked through the corridors of the castle making her way towards the city. Without even leaving the castle yet, she noticed several of her servants and other staff glancing away when she was passing by, and several others even glared. Not a large number, but enough to notice she wasn’t well liked at the moment.

I can’t really blame them. I didn’t treat Twilight very well, Celestia nervously thought. I guess I screwed up more than I imagined. It used to be that wherever I went, they would all show respect and praise and I would have to tell them not to. Now most ponies these days don’t want to even look in my direction.

This continued as she walked out of the castle. Even though she wanted to go by herself, a group of guards insisted on tailing her and intervene if anything bad were to happen to their princess. At least there are some still loyal to me and willing to help me.

Walking through the city, she tried to go for the route with the least amount of possible distractions, whether they be press, paparazzi, or just ponies who wanted to tell her off. Despite this, there wasn’t a single area of the city that didn’t have subjects talking about her, good or bad. It seemed not even the foals were immune as she passed by a park with some fillies playing ball. One of them kicked the ball hard and it landed near Celestia’s hooves, one of the fillies running after it. When she saw the princess though, she froze, not to stare in awe at her majestic image, but out of uncertainty and a hint of fear.

“Is this yours, little one?” Celestia asked with a smile. The filly nodded slowly, though she didn’t return the smile. Celestia used her magic to return the ball to her, but the filly looked away when she had it in her possession again. “There you go.” The filly just stood for a bit, still glancing away to her friends who Celestia could see were also somewhat scared. “Is something wrong, little one?” Celestia said taking notice of the fearful expressions.

“Um, thank you Princess, but my mama says I’m not allowed to talk to you. I’m sorry.”

The filly quickly turned and ran away, as if to escape an incoming onslaught, and the fillies ran from the park as if doing the same. The princess just stood there with her jaw hanging open. Oh dear me, what kind of influence have I taught? she once again thought with remorse.

As much as she would’ve liked to go back to her chambers in the castle and just hide, she was determined to finish what she set out to do in the first place. It didn’t take long to come to the Sparkle family residence after that, being just a few blocks from the park. She approached the door and was about to knock when she realized just how unprepared she was to do this. She had no idea what Twilight’s parents would say or how they would even think. What was she going to say to them? ‘Hey, I was responsible for driving your daughter to suicide. Hope you can forgive me’ was nowhere near the best thing to say to them. But she was already there and she had an obligation to talk to the family about what just happened, if not to give them closure than to at least let them vent their disgust.

Finally, she stopped stalling and lightly knocked on the door, just enough to make the knocks audible without sounding impatient. Many long seconds passed by before the door finally opened to reveal a blue unicorn stallion with a crescent cutie mark. The instant he saw his guest, he scowled at her.

“Oh, Princess Celestia. I wasn’t expecting you,” Night Light said with a not so subtle distaste in his voice.

“I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced, but may I talk to you and Mrs. Velvet for a moment?” Celestia said trying not to show her own uncertainty and banishing any thought of demanding royal respect, if such notion even crossed her mind.

“Yeah, sure. Come on in, your majesty,” Night Light responded saying the last two words through his teeth.

As much as Night Light would have loved to just slam the door on Celestia’s face for what she did to his daughter, he knew it would be impolite and potentially dangerous to do so and let her inside. Thankfully, someone else took the time to express his feelings for him.

“How dare you even show up here!” Spike shouted when he entered the hallway from the kitchen, carrying a bowl of soup to the dining area. “Don’t you think you have done enough harm already, oh Princess?”

“Spike! Spike, please calm down!” Velvet ran to the enraged dragon. “Spike, I know a lot has happened, but it’s impolite to not accept a guest.” Velvet glanced at Celestia, surprisingly void of the hatred that her husband and surrogate son were feeling, or at least she didn’t show it like they did. “Please, come this way, Princess. We’re just having lunch.”

“T-thank you Mrs. Velvet,” Celestia replied nervously. “I appreciate your courtesy in these times, though I question if I really deserve it.”

“As do I,” Night Light mumbled to himself as they escorted her to the dining room, Shining Armor sitting at the table and glaring when he saw Celestia.

The room itself was fairly large yet cozy, perfect for the family gatherings and dinner parties that were common with the Sparkles as Celestia was well familiar with, having been over a few times since taking Twilight Sparkle as her student. Velvet, having a position in the Equestrian government, was more familiar with the princess’s customs than her husband or children. As a result, she’d gone through this song and dance a number of times and knew what she liked whenever she was over for dinner. Despite this however, the stress of having the ruler of the nation in her own home never got any easier, even less now since the same princess caused her beloved daughter to go missing. Yet for some reason, she was surprisingly calm, though that was fairly threatened by angst when her daughter-in-law came out of the kitchen.

“Is everything okay? I could’ve sworn I heard-” Cadance stopped when she spotted her aunt. Her somewhat smiling face turned to sour look immediately. “And I heard correctly. May I ask you, what you are doing here, auntie?”

“Hello Cadance, I wasn’t expecting to find you here. Did the mission go well?” Celestia asked with a strained smile, trying to buy some time. That, however, went poorly.

“It was as alright as dealing with minotaurs can be, thank you very much. But that’s not answering my question. Why are you here?”

Celestia saw that she would have to come clean with this. “I came to talk with Night Light and Twilight Velvet about what happened. I’m so sorry for all this,” she said bowing her head, not meeting anyone’s eyes. Night Light moved past her and into the dining room to take his place and Cadance glanced quizzically on Velvet.

“Is she staying for lunch?” Earning a nod, Cadance turned back to the kitchen. “I will retrieve another plate and more silverware. Could you take this to the table?” When Velvet took the bowls and plates into her own magic, Cadance left and Velvet motioned for Celestia to follow.

“This way, Princess.”

Following her, Celestia decided to start right away. “I know this is very hard on you and you have full right to blame me, but please let me explain it all.”

“I will gladly hear your explanation, Your Highness,” Shining called from the table and true to the example of his father he didn’t bother hiding his disgust. Celestia took a seat strategically by Velvet’s side, sensing probably the only soul still at least a little friendly to her. Spike now sitting by her other side pointedly shuffled a bit away which didn’t escape Celestia’s attention. She didn’t comment on it though, just sighing deeply.

“Let’s serve the soup before it gets cold,” Cadance said as she returned to the dining room with the utensils and plates for Celestia. She sat down between Spike and Shining and took the scoop in her magic to serve to the others. They ate in silence for a while, the tension rising in the room, before Night Light lost his patience.

“If I am not mistaken, you came to explain something to us, Princess,” he reminded in a slightly spiteful tone, letting Celestia know in advance that whatever she had to say wouldn’t change his opinion.

“Yes, well…” she started, but couldn’t find the right words. Why am I so lost now? I held many speeches before, this is just another one. Even though more grave one. Pony up, Celestia, you are the ruler and the bringer of Sun. They will understand. She took a deep breath and tried again. “You all probably read that article in the newspaper-”

“Darn sure we did,” Spike butted in.

“Please, Princess, tell us they were exaggerating. You didn’t say those things, did you?” Velvet almost pleaded, her soup forgotten for the moment.

“They weren’t,” Spike answered instead. “I asked Twilight about it and she confirmed it. Nice going, Princess.” Taken a bit aback by his hostility, although she should have expected it after his heated greetings, Celestia still recovered quickly.

“Yes, it is true. I said those things to Twilight. But you must understand the situation it was said in. We were both angry and weren’t controlling our words.”

“With your amount of diplomatic experience you weren’t controlling your words?” Cadance asked incredulously. Though she may have been just mocking.

“Yes. I… should have noticed how stressed Twilight was getting during the past few weeks. Or I should have interpreted the rest of the signs correctly. I was just writing it all off as tiredness and not being used to the title.” Celestia’s own tiredness seeped into her voice. She wasn’t sure who she was trying to apologize to, to Twilight’s family, or to herself.

“Well maybe, you should have noticed how she felt about the whole title in general,” Spike countered, pointing his spoon on Celestia like a sword. “Maybe you would have seen that she didn’t want it at all. That she was happy with her life as it was!”

“I couldn’t have known, Spike. How would I tell? She looked content at first!” Celestia defended her good intentions, getting desperate from the attack from all sides.

“You could have asked her,” Cadance said, trying to stay calm. “Or maybe just listen more attentively than during my wedding.” The mention of the changeling incident cut Celestia deep. She never fully forgave herself for that either, since the fate of all her little ponies could have crashed down that day. “Maybe she would have told you alone if you listened to her that one time,” Cadance finished her accusation, taking another spoonful of her soup, now almost unedible from standing there for too long.

Celestia lost her nerves a little at this point, being fed up with all the malice directed on her. “It’s not like she made it easy for me to spot it. She was constantly pushing me away, practically avoiding me. It got so far that after our argument I couldn’t even go apologize on my own because she probably wouldn’t open the door at all!” she said in a raised voice, immediately regretting her words. It was way too late though.

Cadance jumped up from her seat and flared her wings up, soon followed in the aggressive stance by her husband. “So it is all her fault, isn’t it? That she became a princess. That she got sent to annoying negotiations. That she had to deal with trivial mundane and exhausting tasks for you!”

“Or that you never took time to understand her or to just talk to her! And her death, that’s also only her fault because she was too weak to have her heart broken by you, right?” Shining added, freezing then as he realized the full meaning of his words, this being the first time anypony explicitly said Twilight wasn’t among the living anymore. For few seconds no one dared to even breath, they all being too deep in shock to reacted. Cadance was the first one to snap out of the state.

“I’m not hungry anymore. Not when she is around,” she said to Velvet. “We will return to Crystal Empire, feel free to visit anytime.” Then she turned to Celestia. “You didn’t ask her if she wanted her title. You didn’t ask me either. The difference is, I wanted it and now I even have my own empire. Yes, I am keeping Crystal Empire as MY domain, independent on you, Celestia. Don’t you dare to take actions against it, we are stronger than you think.”

She trotted to the door of the room, followed by Shining and Spike, who tried to pick up his bags, but Shining took them in his magic instead to make the walk easier for the dragon. Just before Cadance would leave the room, she turned to Celestia one last time. “And you can forget about seeing our child. It will grow without your influence, I will make sure of that.” Then they were gone.

The three remaining ponies in the room set in silence, staring at the table intently. If Celestia felt horrible before, the amount of anger and pain in the room was torturing her now. She couldn’t take it any longer, having an urge to beat the silence away. “I-”

“I think you should leave now,” Night Light interrupted her immediately, looking at her sternly with open hostility now. Celestia flinched and pushed her back into the seat to get away from that gaze. Not even alicorns could stand to righteous anger of parents mourning their kin. She turned her eyes pleadingly to Velvet, but was met with a shake of head and tears in Velvet’s eyes.

“You took away one of my children and caused the other one to storm away. Please leave, Princess. You are no longer welcome in our house.” Velvet then turned to her husband and was wrapped in his forelegs, hiding her face in his fur.

Celestia got up shakily bowed a little and without a word walked to the door. She was quickening her pace constantly and as she left the house she immediately took flight, heading to the castle. She had enough contact with her subjects for the day.


After about a week of being gone due to her emergency, Rainbow Dash finally returned in the mid evening to the Wonderbolt Academy for the entrance ceremony which was scheduled the following day. Despite it being a rather important moment for her and her dreams coming true, it was severely soured by the disappearance of her best friend and the depression everypony was feeling as a result. She still felt dirty for even being at the academy after everything. Still, it was nice to be back in a place she could consider a second home, even better considering she could perform tasks which could hopefully take her mind off the stress; in the midst of the crisis, she still had many friends she could talk to, one in particular she was looking forward to seeing more than any other.

The academy was mildly empty with her being the first to return; with her ceremony coming up, she needed to return from her leave a day earlier than most others. Aside from cleaning staff, the halls were void of any other ponies. This was good for Rainbow as she really wasn’t in the mood for any congradulations or praise aimed her way from being accepted into the Wonderbolts.

She finally got to her room that she shared with Lightning Dust and with a turn of the knob, realized the door was unlocked.

Oh, is she here already? Either that or she forgot to lock up before the leave. I know I locked up before I did, so she HAS to be here. Right?

Rainbow hurriedly opened the door only to be disappointed to see nopony on the other side. The room was half empty and clean with the beds made very neatly, surprising considering the mares who lived there. But the furniture, namely the desks, had gathered a layer of dust indicating nopony had been in there since her or her roommate, or at least not for very long. However, with her attention drawn to the desks, she noticed a note with the surrounding dust slightly disturbed, telling Rainbow that whoever left it there also wrote it right there at least around the time she left.

“I don’t remember this being here last time. Maybe I missed it before leaving. I was in a hurry,” the pegasus thought out loud.

She apprehensively lifted the note and blew away the dust from it, coughing for a second as a result. The note was in an envelope and had the words ‘For Rainbow Dash’s eyes only’ written on the flap. Its intended recipient curiously tore the envelope and unfolded the note. Her jaw dropped as she read it.

Dear Rainbow Dash.

Sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person, but I’ve been thinking for a long time since the final exam. As you know, I was recommended for a position of the Wonderbolts which I declined and passed on to you. You asked me why I did this and I said that I thought the situation wasn’t optimal at the time. While I wasn’t lying, I didn’t say why I thought it wasn’t optimal.

The truth is, I’ve been having some problems that I really don’t want to talk about. I just didn’t feel like I was getting a full, proper training from the academy. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it here and made so many friends. I proudly declare that you are one of the best friends I’ve ever had, if not THE best. I’ve learned many things about myself here as well that will definitely help me through my life.

But the thing is, I’m just not ready to be a Wonderbolt yet or maybe It’s just not what I want to be at all. I love my family to death, but I don’t know if becoming a Wonderbolt is the way to get back to them.

So I’ve decided after several weeks of thinking to go on a journey of sorts. I want to discover what I really want. Maybe I can find something over in the griffon kingdom, I’ve always wanted to go there and compete. Maybe not. I don’t know yet but that’s what I’m trying to find out.

As I write this down, I know you’ve been having a hard time with some problems of your own. Even if I stayed, I’m not sure how much I would be able to help you. I would try but if there’s anything I’ve learned from you, sometimes you need to come face to face with your mistakes before you can learn from them and accept them. I’m deeply sorry for doing this, but I know you and you won’t let this weight you down. Maybe once I come back we can talk again. You know, I expect you to show me just how far you’ve come since we first met. We will meet again though, I can promise you that.

Thank you for opening my eyes
L.D.

Rainbow Dash’s hopes of talking to her friend about everything were shot down just like that. Now, not one, but two of her best friends were gone. The pain of losing a friend is hard enough, especially when it’s your fault. What does one do when you lose many friends?

“No…. No, no, no. Not you too,” Rainbow Dash said as her eyes started to well with tears. “Why now? This can’t be happening”

With this, she plopped face first onto her bed and buried her face in the pillow, sobs becoming more audible. She didn’t even realize or care that she forgot to close the door and furthermore didn’t notice as a stallion approached the source of the distress.

“Rainbow Dash?” the stallion called out.

Rainbow quickly looked up and wiped her eyes when she saw who it was, trying to hide her tears. “Oh! Soarin’, it’s just you. W-what’s up?” she said trying to hide her grief with a forced smile.

“I heard you crying. What’s wrong?”

“Wrong? N-nothing’s wrong! Why would anything be wrong?” The mare rubbed her eyes and shook her head before adopting a sheepish smile. “See? Just peachy.”

Soarin’ didn’t buy it though. “Rainbow Dash!” he sternly said putting his hooves on her shoulders. “I’m concerned with your well being. We’re teammates now so if there’s anything you want to tell me, I’m here for you.” Soarin’ took a moment to shut the door to give them some privacy, even though nopony else would likely walk by. “Now please… what’s wrong?”

Rainbow stared into his eyes, on the verge of crying again. She wasn’t sure what it was about him that made him so captivating to her, be it his beautiful green eyes, his sleek coat, his caring demeanor, or a combination of those things. Something about him just made her feel… safe. If not for her current mental state, she would’ve been questioning her feelings. Unfortunately, the circumstances didn’t allow her to consider that luxury.

She closed her eyes and gently buried her face into his chest as she involuntarily embraced him, not really thinking about what she was doing. All she knew right now was there was somepony willing to comfort her. Soarin’, initially caught off guard from this embrace, soon returned it and held her tightly as the Rainbow gently sobbed.

“Two of my best friends are gone… Twilight’s possibly dead… nopony else knows what to do and… now Dust just left…I just… I feel so lost.” Rainbow said in between sobs, unable to control her emotions any longer.

Soarin’ gently stroked the back of Rainbow’s head, not really knowing what else to do. “Shh. Just let it all out. I’ll be here for however long you need me.”

Dash spent nearly half an hour crying her eyes out until she could no longer produce any tears. For much of the night, she tried to recount the events of the past week as best as she could to Soarin’, who listened attentively. After several long hours, Rainbow had calmed down enough for them to get some dinner (Soarin’ insisting on buying) and she started to feel much better than when she returned to the academy. When it was time to rest, she decided to spend the night in Soarin’s quarters as she didn’t feel like sleeping in an empty dorm room nor did she have her own Wonderbolt quarters set up yet; even if she did, she just didn’t feel like sleeping alone that night.

“You can have the bed if you want. I’ll just set up a place for me on the sofa. I suffer from insomnia so I spend more time there anyway. These bags under my eyes are there for a reason after all.” Soarin’ chuckled.

“Actually, I… wouldn’t mind sharing a bed right now,” Rainbow said timidly before blushing after she realized what she just said. “B-but don’t think that’s an invitation for any funny stuff. Err, not that I mind funny stuff that is. Just so much has happened and well-”

“Relax. I understood what you meant. Sometimes, you just need somepony close by in your darkest hours, right?” Soarin’ smiled. “I know this must be hard for you, to lose two friends like that. But I think you’ll like it in the Wonderbolts. We may not always be the best ponies at times, but the thing I like about the job is that it’s a learning experience. We strive to work as a team and we rely on each other to grow.”

“It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.”

“Heh. That’s the Navy, but I know what you’re saying. Well, I’m actually quite beat from today so I’m gonna hit the hay. Good night.” Soarin’ crawled into bed and laid his head on his pillow, closing his eyes as it made contact.

“Good night,” Rainbow said as she did the same. At first she stayed towards one side of the bed. She’d never shared a bed with anypony else before, much less a stallion who she admittedly kind of liked, so this was new to her. For awhile after she crawled into bed, she just couldn’t sleep and it wasn’t just because of Soarin’ either. No matter how hard she tried to push the thoughts out of her head, the pain of what happened with Twilight replayed over and over to the point where it was impossible to drown out the last face to face conversation she had with her.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Leave!

Rainbow rubbed her temples trying to block out those words. If she could go back in time with her knowledge of the events, she would’ve changed them completely.

Buck Celestia! What were you thinking?... What was I thinking? She glanced over at Soarin’ who was softly snoring. Well, at least one of us can sleep. So much for insomnia, hehe. The more she stared at his face, lit up by the moonlight coming in through the window, she found herself more and more fascinated by him. Thanks Soarin’. I can’t explain why I can talk to you so easily, but should I really complain?

She blushed for a second before scooting an inch in his direction, then again, and again before she was close enough to rest her head on his shoulder, which she did. Her face was even redder as she made contact, but this time she smiled. Maybe things won’t be too bad. If anything, I still have you, she thought as she closed her eyes and finally drifted to sleep.

She may not have talked to the pony she intended to that night, but she got what she needed and then some.