Equestrian Anti-Heat Forces

by Navras97

Ch. 6

"Oh SWEET CELESTIA!" yelled Braeburn as he almost lost his footing and nearly plummeted from 3 stories to Heat Hell. He glued his place on the rooftop as he caught his breath, burdened by the weight of an unconscious stallion and a baby dragon on his back. He could feel the baby dragon's claws digging into his neck like giant syringes. "Ah! Dang it pardner loosen up the grip will ya?!"

Spike opened his eyes to find out he's still alive, "oh yea... sorry about that Braeburn. I'm just... scared of heights that's all". Spike was only holding onto Braeburn's neck with one hand, the unconscious Private Redshot in the other. Spike looked down to scan the streets for mares that may have heard that scream. Braeburn continues to parkour on the rooftops towards Town Hall.

"I don't see any mares outside right now, nor in the sky, just a few walking around not doing anything" commented Spike on the quiet 11:00 am day. "What's up with that?"

"If I had to guess..." asked Braeburn, "they're trying to fight the urge by locking themselves up, but they know well that it's not gonna go away by just twiddlin with your baby basket." Spike looked at him, confused.

"Baby basket?"

"....you'll find out when you're older. We older ponies may say that a lot, but it's for your own good, you need to sleep PEACEFULLY after all."

"Fine then, I'll probably get the reference since I already know a lot thanks to this book I read a few weeks back." said Spike.

Braeburn cocked an eyebrow, still looking onward. "Book? What book?"

"Twilight would read it when I'm not around, but one time she left out in the open when she was at a trip to Canterlot. I think it was called...

...50 Shades of Grey or something".

Braeburn paused and looked at Spike in mid-jump...

"...WHAT THE F-"

Braeburn's bit his toilet tongue hard as he crashed his chin on the clay tiled edge of a building's rooftop. He accidentally forgot where he was jumping and crashed the three plummeted down into a dumpster.

Braeburn's head has arisen from the bags of garbage they so thankfully (disgustingly) landed in. His tongue was hanging out his mouth with a big red stripe across its side. "Waz fe thuck thpike, d'all tharn't spl*raspberry*upposed poo wead dwat."

Spike gave him a look more stinkier than the garbage they're talking in, "how about I do the rest of the talking here before I ditch you and Private "Dead Weight" here?"

"th*raspberry*-ine" said Braeburn, retracted his swollen tongue back into his mouth. Braeburn climbed out of the garbage with Spike and Redshot on his back. Braeburn tried looking for a ladder or a wall climbing surface but to avail.

"Looks like we're grounding this little adventure lil' dude." said Braeburn struggling to sound audible over his damaged tongue, he looks at his 3 and 9 o' clock, "keep an eye out for any mares you see and I'll kick it into "OH DEAR GOD" (or Celestia... you get it... but God sounds funnier though) gear."

"My eyes are peeled Braeburn, lead the way."

Braeburn zips from shadow to shadow, bush to bush, and wherever mares aren't for a good 10 minutes until he sets his eyes on Town Hall.

Unfortunately, it's a wide spacious area about 150 meters sprint to the front door. And to add to that, there are possibly mares inside as well. "We're gonna make this run Spike, brace yourself."

Spike wrapped his arm around the stallion's neck and tightened his grip on Redshot's torn up ninja cloak.

"LET'S GO!" Braeburn yelled as he summoned the rest of his stamina to make the sprint.

He only made about 10 meters before Spike yelled out "PEGASUS MARE ON YOUR 6!" Braeburn turned around to see a turquoise pegasus called Lightning Dust on him, flying at him with high speeds.

Braeburn abused his legs a little more to pick up the speed, then Spike yelled out again, "10 EARTH MARES ON YOUR 5!" Braeburn could their hear screams of sexual rage closing in on him.

"Do something Spike! Hit them with a fireball or something!" requested Braeburn, Spike complied and took a deep breath.

He belched out a small ball of green Draconian fire at the group of mares. The ball erupted sending the mares in all directions. Spike states to Braeburn that he has the ability to make fire that can voluntarily cause burns but he didn't do it this time. But that didn't stop the mares as they planted their staggering bodies and galloped at full speed.

100 meters to go, Braeburn's legs were starting to go numb. Spike summons up another ball to hit Lightning Dust, but she briskly dodges it. Spike fires another but misses, he tries again... and again... and again... but keeps missing. His inner dragon rage begins to curdle on the inside, irritated by this stubborn target.

"GrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRAAAAHHHH!" Spike let's out his most ferocious roar and starts firing a continuous volley of fire-bolts from his gaping mouth. Hundreds of specks of green fire the size of watermelon seeds are fired like a mini-gun. Lightning Dust couldn't dodge them all and gets peppered in green fire. She crashes into the ground, biting the dust (bu-dum-tsssss), Spike redirects the hail of fire on the earth group. They all scatter and run away as Spike focuses his fire on whatever poor sucker he has his sights on first.

20 meters to go, Spike thinks they're in the clear until Braeburn announced through his gasping breath, "AHEAD! AT THE FRONT DOOR, TWO OF THEM!" The spa twins open the door to the town hall, initially confused but then sexually activated a second later. They charge at the stallion while he charges at them, hoping to burst through their pounce.

Spike ceases fire and turns up front and takes a deep breath, unleashing a searing scatter blast inches away from the twins, sending them back into the Town Hall with a loud thud.

Spike rudely interrupts the desk attendant's job, shooting her off her chair and into her morning breakfast of eggs, buttered toast and hot coffee.

Braeburn notices the open door with Incognito in it, waving at them. Braeburn wasn't gonna ask how Incognito got there before they did, only that he was glad to see a friendly face. Braeburn collapsed to the ground in front of the HQ door, Redshot's body heaping with him. Incognito dragged the two inside and Spike slammed the door shut.

Braeburn and Spike spend a long moment there, catching their breath. Incognito rested Redshot on his back, gestruing his head for every pony to follow him. Spike and Braeburn hold their noses from the stench Incognito was giving off. Incognito opens the entrance to show whole underground bunker before them. Spike and Braeburn take a moment to ingest what they're seeing right now until Big Mac and Doctor Whooves trots to them.

"Cousin Big Mac! Doctor Whooves!" Braeburn rushes to his cousin's side, fully recuperated.

"Long time no see cuz, how's the family in Appleloosa doin?" aksed Big Mac as he patted his cousin's neck.

"They're doin fine so far, the buffalo have been real friendly... though I think it's best for them to steer clear from the town for a while... heat season and all that".

Doctor Whooves shook hooves (ba-dum-tsss... I think...) with Braeburn, "nice to see you again old chap! You're looking tip top right now!"

Braeburn gave an earnest nod, "it's good to see you again Doctor, how's Ditzy Doo?"

"Oh you know... in heat... other than that she's just fine." Doctor Whooves waved the question off.

"That's good to hear, I hope that-" Braeburn took a whiff of air, smelling Incognito, "ah damn it dude you need a shower!"

Every pony stopped for a moment and took a big breath at the air, smelling something really funky. Their noses pointed themselves to Incognito, still wreaking of Twilight's happy juice.

"Wow brony... what happened between you and Twilight?" asked Spike, pinching his nose.

Incognito shook his head, refusing to speak, "It's something that I can talk about with anyone here but YOU Spike, please... I don't want to... I REALLY don't want to..." Incognito went to Doctor Whooves and returned his sonic screwdriver.

"Here you go Doctor, I'm sorry but I had to use it in order for Spike, Braeburn, and Redshot to escape Twilight, so it's out of power" he handed the device to Whooves, who promptly took a whiff at it.

Whooves then licked it out of indistinct... and again... and again... "so that's what Twilight tastes like... tastes sweet... with a tinge of-"

Incognito covered the Doctor's hoof, knowing the smell just as well as he does, "ANYWAAAY....! I'm gonna drop off Redshot at the infirmary and take a long, nice shower at my quarters. You can find the mess hall on your right once you go down the staircase. Uh, doctor you seem to already have a good grip on the know-how in this place, can you show the Braeburn and Spike the way?"

Incognito's hoof was still covering the doctor's mouth, he finally released it, taking a deep breath from his mouth. "Sure, you get washed up, I'll handle things here just fine."

"Alright then, if you need any assistance, just wave over one of the soldiers, they'll help you out."

Incognito galloped down the long staircase with Redshot bumping up and down on his back.

The gang follows Whooves down the staircase overlooking the base with a circumference of 1/2 mile radius long and about 1 mile tall based off of the top of Whooves' head.

Whooves spoke out loud about his observations of the bunker as he led the gang to the mess hall:

"Based on what I observed from the staircase overlooking at the entrance, the place seems very old."

"Apparently when I asked Major Marks about this place, he said that this bunker was carved out by order of Princess Celestia a long time ago. Every major town has a bunker like this under their Town Hall, but the bunkers themselves are much older than the building it's under. As you can tell this place is underground, took over 6 years to carve out this much rock. The bunker was designed to house the entire population of the town in case any catastrophic disaster occurred... like right now. the EIA have been using this place for a while but since the some personnel are female this place is more empty. However they been maintaining this place quite well, not a speck of dust anywhere. "

"What keeps the place from not causing a major sinkhole, crushing us all?" asked Big Mac, looking at the ceiling.

"Since we live in a world of magic, Princess Celestia and Luna has given her personal blessings to every bunker in Equestria including this one. The magical field is present everywhere in Equestria, but it's particularly strong here. The magic fuels the headlights for infinite energy and the magic keeps the ceiling from caving in on us."

Big Mac nodded, mostly comprehending what Whooves just explained.

Braeburn tapped Whooves shoulder in the middle of his lecture, "can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Braeburn what is it?"

"Off subject I think but how did Incognito get here before me and Spike? His hooves were full with Twilight, so how did he get here so quickly?"

Braeburn looked up at the brightly lit ceiling of headlight's that fed off of the magic field that he breathes in. He pointed to a portion of the bunker wall.

"Oh yeah I know! Take a long look at that side of the bunker over there, you can see a gigantic carved out hole there."

Braeburn looked at the hole, every pony followed suit... they were stupefied wondering how they didn't see that.

The arched entrance was over 1/8 mile high and 100 meters wide. Braeburn looked even harder to see smaller entrances half as big dividing from the main entrance and those dividing into smaller ones.

"In certain parts on Ponyville there are secret entrances that only could accessed by the Equestrian Intelligence Agency. There is a whole labyrinth of entrances all leading up to the bunker. I asked Marks if our reinforcements will go through these. He said no stating they're "landing hot", I don't get military slang but I think it means they're landing right in the open in front of Town Hall."

They all reach the Mess Hall, similar to the town cafe only with green cloth walls. There was large stainless steel circular table with 10 seats.

Everyone takes a seat and a white earth pony guard with a brown apron comes out to take their request. "I'm Specialist Reave, I'm in charge of the maintenance of the housing half of the bunker, what can I get our top priorities today?" He geld out a pen and notepad, ready to write down their orders.

"A latte please" requested Hooves.

"Mug of apple cider please" requested Big Mac, wanting to drunk off his headache.

"Same here, with ice and a non-alcoholic please." requested Braeburn, looking at his sore tongue.

"I'll have a glass of milk and a garnet-amethyst puree" said Spike, Reave gave him a stink look.

"......You're getting a milk, that's it" he commented, doubtful he had the tools to pulp precious gems.

"And I'll have strawberry shake please!" said an unknown voice outside the tent.

Every pony turned around to the entrance to see a certain wonderbolt heat survival friend fly in and land on a seat next to Braeburn.

"SOARIN?!"

Comments

[Soft Shell]

The hilarity in this chapter is Over 8000!!!

[Ciphers]

Whooves then licked it out of indistinct... and again... and again... "so that's what Twilight tastes like... tastes sweet... with a tinge of-"

DUDE!