As a changeling, Lumi's life was simple: go to work, train a new changeling, and meet a new human to feed on. However, mysterious changelings deaths have her investigating to keep the peace between species. Set in the Gentlemanverse
Every chapter of this story has me aching for more I love your stories, they just suck me in from beginning to end...and I never want to stop reading, so it's both a blessing and a curse
It's been a while, no? Nevertheless, I'm glad the quality in writing didn't drop, and it was refreshing to see a chapter of a conversation instead of switching settings and variety.
I felt that we needed some more interaction between the changeling and the writer. Especially in the upcoming chapters where it speeds up on the action.
Only a human would sit back and take apart Equestrian knee-jerk reactions to a dead changeling and look at it from the angle of an armchair quarterback.
This guy is setting himself up as the perfect "food source" for the struggling hive. Not only is he neutral towards Changelings, he's almost sympathetic to their plight. If they were to find out how well humans respond to the cliched underdog story line, they wouldn't have to do anything more than give him sad puppydog eyes and point to their dying leader.
Though... a room full of changelings giving you big puppydog eyes might be a tad creepy. I'd suggest using young nymphs. He won't stand a chance then as they make cute chirps and fumble around in his cradling arms.
And even better, he could be a ghost writer for the hive. The stories having just enough truth behind them while embellishing and Hollywood-ing up the boring bits for an epic blockbusters-- if not in Equestria, then on Earth.
4173855 I'm ex-US Army, coming from a military family (with a father that's ex-Navy Intel), and I came to the same conclusions as the writer did. The Equestrians are taking something and going the completely wrong direction. Sure, autopsy the corpse and find out more about the Changelings, but don't immediately label it as a pending invasion when there isn't a ton of evidence of that. After all, one changeling does not, an army, make. Prepare for that possibility, but not at the expense of other potential reasons that are just as likely. There is a major difference between being cautious (as the writer and I are suggesting) and panicking like the Equestrians are doing.
You know, now that I think about this, I'm pretty sure the changelings could ask the UN for a refugee status, similar to the Palestinians. If Equestria is getting closer to the USA, then I bet some nations would want to act against this new alliance and the Changeling "opression" would be a good way to affect public opinion.
I don't see any drop off in quality myself. In fact, I daresay I enjoyed this one a little more than the previous ones for the worldbuilding aspect and the fact that things are starting to happen. Very good point earlier about humans naturally going for the underdog. Though I can't help but wonder if Shaun's interest in Lumi is in part due to the fact that she reminds of him strongly of Five Stars...
Regardless, at this point I'm pretty sure there's more to Shaun than meets the eye. I have a couple thoughts, but I'll keep them to myself for now. Write on, good sir!
I think the thing I like about this is that the conversation feels natural. The characterization of the author has subtle nuances like the constant corrections due to a slightly more advanced lexicon. The other thing I like about this story is I can't tell the exact direction of where the plot is going. Obviously a romance, but where is it leading? There has to be some sort of conspiracy I guess. Oh well, this is all just baseless speculation. Thanks for the new chapter.
DAMNIT LEHARL! Every time I start getting on a roll with my story, you post a chapter to one of yours. Every time.
And every time you do, I'm forced to read the wonderful goodness of the sparkly (not being sarcastic, this is a really good chapter) new chapter and completely lose steam for my story.
Like seriously, how can I go from this to writing post-apocalyptic or Lovecraftian horror stuffs?
...Good chapter though. Eagerly awaiting the next.
This is a well-thought out story, not a cheaply done LOLBLOWHSITUP war fic. In such a story, reacting to a single dead changeling like it's the herald of an invasion should be seen as illogical.
I just figured out what this story reminds me of. It reminds me of Castle. Shaun is Castle and Lumi is Beckett. This is totally fine with me because I like Castle
Hmm, would have thought he would have told Lumi about the various legends that we have on Earth of shape-shifting people. Though he has a point in that it's not good to remain ignorant of a important matter.
I try and work on the conversations. For me, this is where the characterization shines. You learn more about them as well as their actions. Glad you're enjoying this so far.
Not completely. Yes, some points brought here is part of my argument against the CB universe as a whole, however, the conversation plays out more of establishing the GMverse rules and further the story by having our two leads interact with one another.
He probably might. The reason he didn't was most likely because it didn't fall on his scope of interest as a writer. Though with the changeling news, he may have to brush up on human myth research, eh?
Lumis fraternization is well written, good job on this chapter, was worth the wait but please don't leave me on the cliff hanger for too long... pretty please?
I want to use my obligatory 'MOAR' here, but at the same time, I see that you have bigger real life issues than writing pony fanfiction so I will not say it.
I'd like to mention that only now did I think "hey, let's check what roun actually means". And you know what? Most dictionaries don't have it. :/ But I did eventually find a definition that said "secret" and "mystery", so it's sure fitting, just... so hard to find for some reason. Google doesn't even recognize the word.
I thought I gave this thumbs up when I favorited it. Guess not. Better late than never. So far so good. I like it fine so far and hopefully we see a bit of Sea Swirl too again. Like her enough that it would be great to see her being a bit happier after what happened in GFM. Having plain ponies be more part of the story too could be intresting.
Still think changelings need a reason for being such reclusive and isolated society to the point of death by starvation. Even having a natural instinct overriding common sense at being seen out of disguise triggering a very dangerous fight or flight panic reaction would be reason enough for developing such a culture. But yeah, pet peeve in changeling stories. Pay no mind, I like your stories and I wait for every chapter. Definately don't abandon writing here.
The more I read, the more I want to kill you, Demon Eyes. You enrage me with your writing and the fact I must wait for more events to unfold! I'm gonna tickle you to death if it's the last thing I do!
Yay update! Also, good chapter.
Every chapter of this story has me aching for more I love your stories, they just suck me in from beginning to end...and I never want to stop reading, so it's both a blessing and a curse
ANGUS PIAERET
PAIRETTQ"
ME GUSTOS!
NEXCT GRIFFON TING PLES
It's been a while, no? Nevertheless, I'm glad the quality in writing didn't drop, and it was refreshing to see a chapter of a conversation instead of switching settings and variety.
I should kick your ass for making me wait so long. But I love you, so I won't. *tight hug* I missed you and your wonderful story!
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Thanks, guys. I'm hoping to get faster on writing, but alas.
4173733
XD Still working on it.
4173774
I felt that we needed some more interaction between the changeling and the writer. Especially in the upcoming chapters where it speeds up on the action.
4173794
4173828 Haven't sat down to read it yet, but I will. Really looking forward to this!
Lovely chapter!
Only a human would sit back and take apart Equestrian knee-jerk reactions to a dead changeling and look at it from the angle of an armchair quarterback.
4173853
Thanks.
4173855
Or a novelist. XD
This guy is setting himself up as the perfect "food source" for the struggling hive. Not only is he neutral towards Changelings, he's almost sympathetic to their plight. If they were to find out how well humans respond to the cliched underdog story line, they wouldn't have to do anything more than give him sad puppydog eyes and point to their dying leader.
Though... a room full of changelings giving you big puppydog eyes might be a tad creepy. I'd suggest using young nymphs. He won't stand a chance then as they make cute chirps and fumble around in his cradling arms.
And even better, he could be a ghost writer for the hive. The stories having just enough truth behind them while embellishing and Hollywood-ing up the boring bits for an epic blockbusters-- if not in Equestria, then on Earth.
Oh boy, I am liking the direction this is going in. I am really enjoying your take on changelings so far, looking forward to every update!
4173855
I'm ex-US Army, coming from a military family (with a father that's ex-Navy Intel), and I came to the same conclusions as the writer did. The Equestrians are taking something and going the completely wrong direction. Sure, autopsy the corpse and find out more about the Changelings, but don't immediately label it as a pending invasion when there isn't a ton of evidence of that. After all, one changeling does not, an army, make. Prepare for that possibility, but not at the expense of other potential reasons that are just as likely. There is a major difference between being cautious (as the writer and I are suggesting) and panicking like the Equestrians are doing.
shouldn't that be gypsy moth? en.wikipedia.org/Lymantria dispar dispar
You know, now that I think about this, I'm pretty sure the changelings could ask the UN for a refugee status, similar to the Palestinians. If Equestria is getting closer to the USA, then I bet some nations would want to act against this new alliance and the Changeling "opression" would be a good way to affect public opinion.
I don't see any drop off in quality myself. In fact, I daresay I enjoyed this one a little more than the previous ones for the worldbuilding aspect and the fact that things are starting to happen. Very good point earlier about humans naturally going for the underdog. Though I can't help but wonder if Shaun's interest in Lumi is in part due to the fact that she reminds of him strongly of Five Stars...
Regardless, at this point I'm pretty sure there's more to Shaun than meets the eye. I have a couple thoughts, but I'll keep them to myself for now. Write on, good sir!
open a patreon page for people to throw mony at your story and pump a chapter every certain amount of $?
4173918
Depends. They don't actually look like the changelings we know. Most of the time, at least.
4173959
Maybe...
4173976
Attraction is always complicated. But yes, he's partial to her because she does look a bit like Five Stars. They can be flirty too. XD
4173995
I'll do that when I reach the level I want. Which is going to take a really really long time. XD
I think the thing I like about this is that the conversation feels natural. The characterization of the author has subtle nuances like the constant corrections due to a slightly more advanced lexicon. The other thing I like about this story is I can't tell the exact direction of where the plot is going. Obviously a romance, but where is it leading? There has to be some sort of conspiracy I guess. Oh well, this is all just baseless speculation. Thanks for the new chapter.
Yep, that was rather good.
DAMNIT LEHARL! Every time I start getting on a roll with my story, you post a chapter to one of yours. Every time.
And every time you do, I'm forced to read the wonderful goodness of the sparkly (not being sarcastic, this is a really good chapter) new chapter and completely lose steam for my story.
Like seriously, how can I go from this to writing post-apocalyptic or Lovecraftian horror stuffs?
...Good chapter though. Eagerly awaiting the next.
4173855
This is a well-thought out story, not a cheaply done LOLBLOWHSITUP war fic. In such a story, reacting to a single dead changeling like it's the herald of an invasion should be seen as illogical.
Okay so I'm a chapter or so late to make this guess but...I bet: Lumi is the daughter of Shining Armor and Chrysalis
I just figured out what this story reminds me of. It reminds me of Castle. Shaun is Castle and Lumi is Beckett. This is totally fine with me because I like Castle
Hmm, would have thought he would have told Lumi about the various legends that we have on Earth of shape-shifting people. Though he has a point in that it's not good to remain ignorant of a important matter.
Step 1: Spin a sob story later to Shaun about her poor, old mother.
Step 3: Sexy profit.
What do you mean I forgot Step 2? There is no second step! Two is all that she'd need!
4175033
You can't numbers, man. You're drunk, gimmie your keys.
4175166
No! I'ma' need dose fer anudder beer run!
I see what you did there. I see it.
Chapter seemed fine to me, you're just doubting yourself. Happens to the best, man.
imageshack.com/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
4174279
I try and work on the conversations. For me, this is where the characterization shines. You learn more about them as well as their actions. Glad you're enjoying this so far.
4174324
Hey dude. Long time, eh?
4174550
4174593
Not completely. Yes, some points brought here is part of my argument against the CB universe as a whole, however, the conversation plays out more of establishing the GMverse rules and further the story by having our two leads interact with one another.
4174594
I want to comment, but I shan't.
4174697
Yes! Someone finally said it. I love Castle.
4174807
He probably might. The reason he didn't was most likely because it didn't fall on his scope of interest as a writer. Though with the changeling news, he may have to brush up on human myth research, eh?
4175033
XD Spoilers! Spoilers!
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4175991
I guess I'm just feeling rusty. Or maybe this chapter was written before I got writer's block? Who knows.
4176143 It's k.
4175420
mgx.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/no.jpeg
Go home, don't do anything dangerous until you can count. Numerical failure is potentially deadly you know.
4176132 Don't tease me! Just keep writing
Lumis fraternization is well written, good job on this chapter, was worth the wait but please don't leave me on the cliff hanger for too long... pretty please?
I want to use my obligatory 'MOAR' here, but at the same time, I see that you have bigger real life issues than writing pony fanfiction so I will not say it.
...wait.
I'd like to mention that only now did I think "hey, let's check what roun actually means". And you know what? Most dictionaries don't have it. :/ But I did eventually find a definition that said "secret" and "mystery", so it's sure fitting, just... so hard to find for some reason. Google doesn't even recognize the word.
Hmmm...that Shaun sure is a clever fellow...
10 bits that he IS a spy, knows, or at least suspects that Lumi's a changeling, and all that talk is just hiding in plain sight.
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I'll try to update faster.
4176967
I don't think watching pron is me having bigger... wait a minute.
4177423
I'm going to be accused of being a furry before I know it.
4177467
Yeah. Permanent Temporary actually found that word. Kudos to him.
4178297
While I'd like to say that he is clever (and he is, honest), that's just him giving a human perspective of the matter.
**Sees 4178449 and 4185771**
... or he could be a spy. Who knows?
4187669 i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6677863168/h163D0006/
I thought I gave this thumbs up when I favorited it. Guess not. Better late than never. So far so good. I like it fine so far and hopefully we see a bit of Sea Swirl too again. Like her enough that it would be great to see her being a bit happier after what happened in GFM. Having plain ponies be more part of the story too could be intresting.
Still think changelings need a reason for being such reclusive and isolated society to the point of death by starvation. Even having a natural instinct overriding common sense at being seen out of disguise triggering a very dangerous fight or flight panic reaction would be reason enough for developing such a culture. But yeah, pet peeve in changeling stories. Pay no mind, I like your stories and I wait for every chapter. Definately don't abandon writing here.
awesome as always
The more I read, the more I want to kill you, Demon Eyes. You enrage me with your writing and the fact I must wait for more events to unfold! I'm gonna tickle you to death if it's the last thing I do!
I don't think you can get rusty, Del.
Keep up the great work!
Where be the tanks?
Hmm, interesting. I like how open minded he is.
D: i hope nothing bad happened to Chryssie!
Cya
Raziel-chan
Really liking this keep it up