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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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C-C-C-C-Completely unnecessary cutaway chapter!
In all seriousness though, with everything starting to come to a head, we needed to find a place to introduce the wildcard into the mix. So naturally after our usual brand of careful consideration we said to each other, "Hey, this is kind of a horrible cliffhanger we ended the last chapter on, let's completely ignore that and introduce a couple of new characters instead!" And here we are. I have to say I'm really liking Specter now that he's complete; I'd invite him to join the comments for this chapter since Starshadow's still out of it, but he's not exactly the talkative sort...
Anyway, next time we'll get back to shedding light on the rest of Starshadow's past... maybe.
He was a colt while Canterlot was under construction? How old is this guy!?
I despise assassins.
This chapter doesn't even feel like it belongs in the same story as the previous ones. Where are you going with this?
Need an OC to protect Starshadow?
Polaris you BASTARD! Ordering killing ponys only because they are earth ponys.
This pony should be Killer right now!
Hoo boy I hope Mac isn't in for a world of pain with the kind of opposition cropping up. Then again, he's got some special friends himself should the poop hit the propeller hard enough.
The story's going in a bit of a longwinded and weird direction and I don't think I like it.
Does anyone feel like this chapter is an entirely different story?
I also think it should be!
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as a surviving member of the Blackguard he was placed in stasis and hidden away after Nightmare Moon was banished, and only woke up recently. If I had to place an age to him (though I can't be too specific not being his creator) I would say he was around his early 20's or, if you count his time in stasis, you can add a thousand years to that age.
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The paragraphs were a bit blocky and difficult to read, might want to comb back through with your finger on the return button.
I would like to see shining armour get caught up in this, he is in charge of the gaurd and was probablly trained and able to surpass polaris if he was able to get highter than him, also it would help to have the guy who single handly held off Sombra and wiped out the entire changling army on there side,
no to mention the main six who may or may not need to use the elements.
speaking of the elements in would be amazingly awkward and funny to see how they react to applejack and macs relationship
WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!!!
Interesting... So Spector was alive nearly a thousand years ago from the current point. Due to theft and murder, he was caught along with his sister, and forced into becoming an assassin by Luna. After certain event happen, he and his sister are caught by Changelings (or so the green cocoons suggest), and help prisoners for a thousand years. upon awakening, he has no memory, and he and his sister nearly kill each other.
Spector, not knowing his past, finds employment, and ends up fighting Poloris, and almost kills him. Failing however, he becomes Poloris' servant, after narrowly escaping death by saying a few coincidental words. Spector is now on his way to Ponyville to fillynap Poloris' daughter and be able to retire.
This pretty much sums up this chapter and it's relevance. Now onto some possible foreshadowing that may or may not be there.
My guess as to what will happen; one of the other five ponies that Poloris sent along will be Spector's sister. As to what might happen with Starshadow, I have no idea. She probably will get fillynapped successfully, and be delivered to Poloris, forcing Big Mac to follow the clues that Spector accidentally left behind, trying to deal with his sister, who is also trying to kill Spector as he tries to kill her.
If this for some reason gets taken down, please message me. I will not try to repost it, I just like knowing this kind of stuff.
This chapter was tedious. If it had been the first chapter I never would have read the second.
... NGL, could've lived without a chapter this painfully long, i was waiting for the story to cut back to starshadow
Honestly, this was an interesting read, but here's the thing; This could feels like it could have been part of another story. I did find this character interesting, but you might be overworking yourself in this one fic. There's a lot of good material here, which is a good thing, but there's also a lot of good material, which is a bad thing.
Yes, too much material can be a bad thing. Too much information can shift your readers attention into many different directions. This can lead to frustration and confusion, and it distracts from the main plot point and the reason your readers began reading your story in the first place.
I, however, personally enjoyed it.
I have to agree with the consensus that this chapter, as well as Specter's entire character, feels like something from a completely different fic altogether. It's the tiniest bit surreal to see Polaris' personal hitman, who's had maybe one appearance and only a few lines, suddenly get this much character development and backstory out of nowhere. (And his story leaves out a particularly juicy detail: Who exactly was the employer who wanted Polaris dead, and why?)
However, you've done very well so far, so I'm gonna trust that you have some sort plan to eventually take the sub-plot about Specter's past and cleverly connect it to the seemingly unrelated goings-on of the main story. Keep up the good work!
I don't really know why most people didn't like this chapter. I for one thought it was cool. And now I'm looking forward to seeing how this is relevent.
That was the site of the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration. That was the site of Nightmare Moon's return. That was the site of Princess Luna's return. That was the main target of Discord. That's where the Princess of Friendship, ex-student of the Princess of the Sun and sister of the Prince-Consort of the Crystal Empire, lives. That's the town an Ursa Minor once smashed. That's the town that a possessed unicorn once placed a fishbowl over.
Unless you've been living under a rock for the past couple of years or so (time elapsed between the show's seasons was never specified), you really should've heard of Ponyville.