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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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(To the Author)
(We're still here, welcome back. It's good to see you out of your funk and back into the story...speaking of which, well done on the chapter.)
Blank, looks like we might have issues...though now we know why Zecora had that powder on her last time, it was supposed to be spread on the water to keep that...rock-gator? Boulder-dile?...Name aside, you could sure use some of that right about now. Lets focus on what we remember from "Creature Feature" magazine we used to..ahem...borrow from that busted vender when we were bored...or in need of a pillow.
Alligators/Crocodiles prefer to hunt in water, but are surprisingly swift on land. Their jaws have the crushing force to get through Royal Guard armor, and they often consume anything that disturbs their territory.
Well, this could be a problem. I can only think of a few options that could work.
1. If there's any leftover charge from the storm, lightning might work.
2. Reptiles are sensitive to vibration, try hitting your rods with youre sword.
3. Try to attack a "soft spot" with your sword, such as the underbelly or inside of the mouth.
4. Last resort, deliberately injure yourself and get your blood into it's mouth, remeber what happened to the Planimal head.
Above all, STAY CALM. Panic is the enemy more than any dangerous creature. Panic leads to rushed judgement, rushed judgement to mistakes, mistakes to injury, and injury to...you get where I'm going.
Good luck,
Nomad
Quick assessment time!
So, you find yourself facing yet another monster of the Everfree that you've no idea the abilities of. While it appears to be just some overgrown crocodile with rocky protrusions, this IS the Everfree we're talking about, so there's no way it's that simple. Everything here has some kind of strange ability that you would never think of, like the cockatrice and it's stone gaze, or even the plantimal you left caged next to Zecora, and it's unnatural existence that should never have been. This crocodile-like creature before clearly has some hidden ability that you need to be wary of, if your past experiences in the Everfree are anything to go by.
Next is your surroundings. The most obvious thing here is the lake, polluted by some unknown substance you suspect is from the strange shrubs growing out around the lake, turning it green. Clearly it isn't acidic in nature or harmful as Trixie has just emerged from said lake, and seems to be fine, at least physically, but that doesn't mean it isn't effecting her. The fearful look in her eyes when she spotted and spoke to you may be a hint as to one of it's effects, but that could also just be because of the imminent danger present. However, it still struck you as something odd that you couldn't immediately place.
There's also Zecora bound next to the tree and the Plantimal you left caged next to her, probably screeching it's heads of right about now. But more importantly, your trench coat is next to them as well, We need to do everything in our power to make sure it's not ruined. Blood is so hard to get out of... umm... whatever fabric is used in awesome vampony trench coats.
Now, that covered, let's see what we can do here. Perhaps the first thing that needs to be considered is the reason it happened in the first place. That being the amulet currently under the monster's tongue. In order to obtain it, we're going to probably have to deal with this monster, because another opportunity to regain control of this powerful artifact may not present itself to you. And worse yet, it may come back to haunt you if you don't obtain it now. That sort of thing happens all the time to Vampony Lords right? some silly pony using items from your past to try and overthrow your rule. Well, you can't let that happen with this item, no sir! You'll just have to defeat this monster, or at least, regain control over it again.
Of course that just leaves how to defeat this monster now. The easiest option might be to cut Zecora free. She clearly knew about the monster and probably knows a thing or two about handling it. but if we cut her free immediately, she would certainly take exception to your intention of possessing the Amulet. Come to think of it, Trixie probably would two, but her decision making is so glaringly flawed that it's nearly killed her several times, now being one of them! You're confident that swaying her from wanting the Amulet for herself will be an easier task then convincing Zecora to let you keep it.
Of course you could do what you've always done in this situation. Just charge in and flail your sword around and make lots of noise. That seemed to have worked well all of your other "fights". Of course, Trixie may be able to help in that regard with her magic. But it's still a giant crocodile with freaking BOULDERS that would quickly turn you into paste from one wrong move.
But lets not forget about the tiny, caged plantimal. You brought it here for some reason and Clearly as it is now, it'd be of no use. But maybe there's some way to change that? Perhaps the lake water? What if the monster used to just be a normal crocodile before making this clearing it's home? It may explain it's size today, and looking more closely at the shrubs growing around the lake, maybe they aren't really what's causing the coloration of the water. You remember reading something about how plants grow towards sunlight in dark places to help their survivability, hell, you've seen a similar thing to that underneath the dumpsters in the alleyways sometimes. Perhaps that's what's happening here? The shrubs grow towards the pond to increase their survivability? If that's the case, maybe if you toss the Plantimal into the water it'll have some kind of effect on it? It clearly affected both the plants around the clearing and the creature before you. You've also decided the Plantimal can be described as both these things, It's its name for crying out loud! So maybe the water will have a double effect on it and distract the monster long enough for you to find a way to procure the amulet from the monster's mouth.
Once you've dealt with the monster situation, You're going to have to run some damage control on the two mares. Fixing whatever you can and swaying them to your side again. And later sleep talking to them and fixing this whole jealousy thing that's sprung up to avoid this fiasco from happening again. Manipulation can be so tedious sometimes.
Oh my god, I forgot the most important thing, You've finally gotten your trench coat! And it's beautiful. A tear comes to your eye at such majesty. This bit of fabric is going to get you laid, guaranteed, no doubt about it. No mare will be able to resist you with this on. Just imagine, standing in some shadow, wearing this trench coat. And aura of mystery hangs about you as your piercing gaze moves around, attracting every mare in the vicinity. You flash, as Rarity put it, a sophisticated fanged smile their way, causing them to immediately swoon and practically throw themselves at you with lifted tails half lidded eyes full of lust. It will be glorious.
You have come across another creature of the Everfree. This is obviously a test by the Everfree so you can prove your worth as its master. After you have taken care of the creature you will need to secure the Alicorn Amulet and make sure Trixie is back under your control. Also make use of the Planimal you brought it along for a reason. Then finally you can don your trench coat.
Quick blank, we must slay this beast and save your mares. And trench coat. I suggest you zapp the water and go for the enviro-kill. It should at least stun it then go for the guts, destroy the weak belly to ensure victory. Don't forget the box, don't want some enemy to get that. Then eat the croc to buff your defense, we sure need that with our luck.
"...your occasional acquaintance, Mister Brain." Well, well. We DO have one of those. Perhaps you should have tried using it BEFORE now, hmm? Actually, you know what? Giant stone-crocodile rising out of polluted mire, probably wants to eat you. Now would be a GREAT time to get more acquainted with Mister Brain.
Just to re-enforce the echo chamber, the cROCKodile must die. You've already been given plenty of options on that, so I'll focus more on the aftermath.
Point the First: WHAT THE BUCK DOES TRIXIE THINK SHE IS DOING‽ She kidnapped Zecora, almost got all three of you killed (what, did she not realise you'd come after her as soon as you regained consciousness?), all to get back that stupid amulet she has ALREADY proved incapable of handling.
Point the Second: The amulet itself. As though it wasn't obvious before hand, Trixie has once again proven she cannot be trusted to make decisions (and you should make this fact eminently clear to her). Four thousand bits says the amulet has no corrupting properties what-so-ever and the Illusionist was just deflecting blame. Again.
Point the Third: The Tailor. Well, well, well... "QUITE sophisticated", "poise and grace", "fine dressers... well mannered". Seems Rare has a thing for old-school nobility. That would be REAL nobility. BLOOD nobility. I DO so love a mare with taste. But if you start speaking with an Uberwald accent I swear you will WISH you had just died.
Point the Forth: The Ensemble. [Mr Burns]EXCELLENT[/Mr Burns]. Trench-coat, fedora, (should have gotten sunglasses), magic sword. Hmm, there is a stereotype we're embracing here. For future trench-coats remember, Black - badarse, Brown - detective, Grey - investigative journo, White - evil sorcerer, Mustard Yellow - thing ponykind was not meant to know. ((Llamas for the voice that gets that reference.))
Point the Fifth: Zecora. This is going to be difficult. First, you need to play-up the fact that it was the mutations that she wanted to get rid of that just saved your collective plots. However, you can't come across as desperate or she'll assume you're being influenced by an external force, which CLEARLY isn't happening. Second, we really need some way to apologise for the crap we've been putting her through. For a hermit, she has a surprising number of friends, and being pissed-off at us will lead to complications in the long run.
Point the Sixth: Ponyville. Ok, so at SOME point, we're going to go to Ponyville. You still don't have full control of your powers, and your powers have not fully developed yet, so try not to draw to much attention to yourself. One more thing, once you step foot in that town SHE will know. SHE is both the greatest potential threat, and the greatest potential asset. Whatever else you may do, be wary around the cotton-candy Avatar of Madness.
Point the Seventh and Final: Long-Term Projects. Stay alive, keep your mares alive, conquer the Everfree, rebuild and move into the old castle, train, all the other stuff that gets perennially mentioned.
The Archivist.
6005404
Good to hear your "voice" again Archivist. Dear Blank can't keep himself out of trouble, can he? It seems the power boost from the Amulet couldn't come at a better time.
6005653
(It's good to be back, I must admit I'm curious as to how much of the "old guard" is still around. And as for the amulet, we're now at second stage mutation, we need MOAR POWAH!!!
But remember, never consume a cursed artefact larger than your head.)
Light it on Fire, make it burn and scream until it can no longer. Then let it die but not a second before it stops. It will be in agony for the rest of its time on this planet.
- A giant flying bean, who enslaved his world.
I was walking on the moon one day, in the merry, merry month of December,
when I looked down, and to my suprise, I saw before my eyes,
Oh, for gogs sake. Talk about letting the situation get away from you. what has it been, Three days and a years worth of physiomorphological and neuromagical screwups? Im suprised Discord hasnt dropped by with popcorn and support banner.
Anyway. Quick analysis of current situation. Zecora, shaman supreme who has been near demanding you breed with her, out of action for at least the next 30 seconds. Trixie, insanely jealous, bit wet for you, recovering next 30 seconds. Cragodile, able to reach and consume you in the next 30 seconds, heavily armoured externally with electrical, thermal and mechanical insulation. Planimal, minaturised due to Zecoras potions, narked and ready to go in an easily thrown into mineral rich feeding water within the next 5 seconds.
Throw Planimal into water, as close past Cragodile as possible, drag Trixie and Zecora round the tree the opposite side of saddlebags.
If you manage to actually get back to Zecoras hut intact and with all appendages, Ill then suggest looking through her potions on Fertility, Virility, Desire, and other such income generating compounds, which can be blended with the Planimal and your own Everfree blood sap to boost your pheromone and hormone production to affect subtly, progressively, insinuatingly, and at range. Also, by association.
If you really want evil, try crossing Syphylis with Fertility.
If you really want Evil, consider Fluttershy and The giant Spider.
Now, if you excuse me, I have a special order of ten tons of flour for a Pirate Griffin outpost. Thermobaric flour.