Good story, but I guess some don't think so. Were you so jittery that you accidentally messed up your typing while you wrote this? There were a lot of careless errors. Anyway, good job!

I enjoyed it, a bit fast but whatever, definitely not a bad story.

It was pretty good, the dialogue was a little choppy and the descriptions could have been better and as a whole the story needs to be fleshed out a bit more... and since it was trying to be more romantic I'd avoid the use of the word 'pussy' while fine in strait clop it doesn't work for more romantic works and is quite jarring.

So 6/10 not bad by any means but could use some work.

2857666 Yeeeah... This story was my first clopfic I written. Still quite new to this but at least I'll improve next time

2867160
Well, the more you do it the more you improve... Can I say that when I haven't published a single story? But I'm good with a lot of the more technical side of things so if you want me to edit sometime just send me a link. (Take that with a grain of salt as my schedule is wonky at the best of times.)

Loved it 10/10