Crimson Flask paced back and forth in front of the massive doors of Solaris’ chambers. He adjusted his coat collar and slicked back his mane, frowning as it returned back to its normal messy self.
There was a loud crash as the doors flew open. Crimson yelped as he jumped back.
“Blueblood, I do not know how many times I have told you, fund it yourself! You are not getting tax money for it, nor are you getting an increase in your stipend!” a voice boomed from within.
“B-but!” Blueblood stammered as he backed out of the room.
“Blueblood, if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I swear there will be consequences. I am getting fed up with your behavior!”
“But—”
“Enough! Now leave!” the voice shouted.
Blueblood’s ears flattened as he hung his head. Crimson looked up at him, a gentle look on his face.
“What are you looking at, peasant?” Blueblood snorted.
Crimson rolled his eyes in response.
“Hmph!” Blueblood replied, lifting his head as he walked away.
Crimson stood back up, remembering the matter at hoof. Slowly, he took a peek inside the now open doors. There, he saw his boss, Lord Solaris [1], standing with his back turned towards him and wings flared. He could hear him breathing heavily.
You know, maybe I should come back later, Crimson thought as he sat beside the door, out of view. He rubbed his forehooves together, biting his lip. Yeah, now is not the best time to tell him. I should wait until he calms down. [2]
“Who is it?” Solaris called from inside his room.
Crimson jumped. “U-um, it’s me, my lord.”
“Enter.”
Crimson gulped audibly as he adjusted his glasses. Taking a deep breath, he quietly walked inside and gently closed the door behind him. Again adjusting his glasses, he walked to the center of the room and sat on a pillow.
“Ah, Dr. Flask, it is good to see you,” Solaris said as he turned around to face Crimson. “So, what brings you to my chambers today?”
Crimson’s eyes widened slightly as he looked up at Solaris’ crimson eyes. Even though Crimson Flask had personally met and talked with Solaris many times, he always felt nervous when meeting him. Standing more than twice the height of the average pony and having an ethereal mane and tail that looked as if a fire was blazing out of him, Solaris was truly an intimidating figure.
Solaris looked down at the dazed pony. He smiled and asked gently again, “So, what brings you to me on this fine day, doctor?”
Crimson blinked and adjusted his glasses. “Well, sir, we found another one near the city.”
Solaris’ smile vanished. “Was it another dead one like the rest that we found?”
“No, sir, it’s actually alive,” Crimson responded.
“Excellent!” Solaris exclaimed as his smile returned. “Then we proceed as planned.”
Crimson tugged his collar while his eyes darted around.
Solaris looked down at the unicorn in front of him, raising his eyebrow. “Crimson, is something wrong?”
Crimson rubbed his forehooves together. “While we technically found one, it’s not the type we were looking for.”
“Wait,” Solaris replied as he shook his head. “What do you mean we didn’t find the right type? We wanted to see if we could find one of their soldiers or infiltrators alive.”
“Except,” Crimson interrupted weakly, “we found a worker.”
Solaris squinted his eyes as he looked down at Crimson. “What do you mean we found a worker?”
“W-well,” Crimson began shakily, “preliminary tests show that the changeling we have is neither a soldier nor infiltrator. Her chitin exoskeleton is nowhere near as strong or thick as we have seen with the changelings that invaded. I suspect that she is most likely a worker.”
“What makes you say that?” Solaris asked.
"I found this with her, so it must belong to her,” Crimson said as he pulled out a small book from his coat.
Solaris grabbed the book with his magic. He turned the book around to examine it before opening the book and begin reading its contents.
Solaris frowned. “This is the diary of a child. A weak, naive child. Tell me, Crimson, was this changeling conscious when you found her?”
“Yes, she was,” Crimson quickly replied.
“And how did she react when you found her?”
“Not that well, to be perfectly honest,” Crimson confessed as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Crimson stopped for a moment as he rubbed his eyes. “I-I’m sorry, it was just hard for me to look at her. What do you do when someone looks at you as if you were a monster? I couldn’t look at that face. It was just too much. She was so scared at that point. I mean, I actually had to cover her face so I could work. That was not easy for me, my lord.”
Solaris slowly looked up at the ceiling, his eyes distant and cloudy.
Crimson looked up at Solaris, waiting for him to respond, yet Solaris just sat there, unmoving.
“My lord?”
Solaris blinked, shaking his head.
“Is everything alright, my lord?”
“It’s nothing. Just memories,” Solaris answered softly.
“Oh,” Crimson replied. He wanted to inquire further as he was curious but felt it would be a bad idea to pry any more.
“Back to the matter at hoof.” Solaris sighed. “This is not good at all.”
Crimson quickly bowed as low as he could, shaking while shutting his eyes tight. “A-a thousand apologies, Lord Solaris! I did not know my actions would cause problems for you. B-but I am a doctor, and I s-still have my Hippocratic Oath to follow! I c-couldn’t just let something die in front of me and—”
“Stop!” Solaris ordered as he rubbed his forehead.
Crimson instantly stopped, not even daring to breathe.
Solaris took a deep breath before looking down at Crimson Flask as his face softened. “Crimson, please get up.”
Crimson slowly opened his eyes and lifted himself to all four hooves. “Y-yes, my lord?”
“Crimson,” Solaris continued softly as he knelt down in front of him, his eyes staring into Crimson’s. “Do you know what makes someone a monster?”
“Um,” Crimson replied, rubbing his forehooves. “Is it doing bad things, my lord?”
“Not exactly." Solaris looked back up. “It is when you start to enjoy doing bad things. That is when you truly become a monster.”
“Oh…”
“Crimson, I would be disappointed if you didn’t help her. If you took enjoyment out of her fear, that would be troubling. But you didn’t because you are a good pony with a gentle heart. You never have to worry about doing the right thing, understood?”
“Really?” Crimson asked as he stood wide eyed and his mouth slightly agape.
“Yes,” Solaris replied as he stood up. “I am upset not at you, but at me. Did you happen to read her journal?”
“Part of it,” Crimson said as he straightened his coat. “Once I found out what it was, I thought it was best to stop reading it and give it to you immediately.”
Solaris sighed, holding a hoof to his temple. “The problem is that she is a mere child. I needed a soldier or infiltrator for my plans, not a messenger girl. Is she awake now?”
“Actually, she won’t be for approximately another month. She has some very serious injuries, so I was forced to put her in an induced coma. I felt this was necessary to make sure her body heals properly and more quickly,” Crimson replied.
“Hmmm,” Solaris said as he rubbed his chin. “I trust your judgment on this subject. Also, this will give me time to figure out what to do with her when she wakes up. I want you to keep me informed concerning her status. In addition, I want you to gather as much information on changelings as possible while you are at it.”
“I will, my lord,” Crimson said with a slight bow.
Solaris smiled as he placed a hoof on Crimson’s back. “We are on the same page, I hope. You did do the right thing and have nothing to worry about, understood?”
“Yes, thank you, sir.”
“And,” Solaris added, “you do not have to address me like that, my friend. We are friends, are we not? You earned the right to be informal a long time ago.”
“Sorry, force of habit,” Crimson apologized as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Thank you, Solaris.”
A flame flickered on the end of a candle, casting a warm glow through Solaris’ chambers. Solaris sat over his desk, examining Honeycomb’s satchel. He reached in, pulling out a piece of charcoal. Are they forced to write with charcoal? His ears flicked when he heard a soft knock on his door.
“I am busy right now. I do not wish to be disturbed.”
“Too busy even for room service?" came a familiar voice, clearly feigning hurt.
Solaris chuckled slightly as he got up. He turned around and opened the door, seeing his little sister. “Not fair, Luna, you know I will always have time for you. Please, come on in.”
Luna smiled as she walked in, taking a seat in the middle of the room. Solaris walked over to a trolley with a coffee pot and poured two cups of coffee. He then sat across from Luna, levitating her a cup whilst keeping one himself. Luna nodded in thanks and took a sip.
“So, Luna, what brings you to my room at this hour? I thought you would be doing something on your shift, not that I don’t enjoy your company.” Solaris followed this with a sip.
“Well,” Luna replied, “I have heard from my staff that you captured a changeling.”
“I did,” Solaris said, looking down into his cup.
“And that was your plan, wasn’t it?”
“It was.”
“So why are you making that face? Is the coffee not to your liking?" Luna teased with a grin.
“I feel trapped.”
“Brother!” Luna exclaimed as she burst out laughing. “I do hope you see the irony in that. Really, the captor feeling trapped?”
Solaris smiled and chuckled quietly. “Yeah, you’re right about that. It is a silly notion, isn’t it?” He let out a sigh as he continued to look down into his cup.
“So tell me, brother, what are you brooding over this time?” Luna finally asked when the laughter left her.
Solaris lifted his eyes up from his drink, looking into his sister’s. “I got the wrong one.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
Solaris closed his eyes and sighed. “I wanted to capture one of their soldiers or infiltrators. Although we beat them in the end, they still got in undetected by us. But...”
“But what?”
“I got a worker,” Solaris continued. “And not only a mere worker, but a child at that.”
“Hmmm,” Luna said, rubbing her chin. “What makes you think it is a child?”
Solaris’ horn glowed as he levitated the small journal in front of his sister. Luna grabbed it with her own magic and started reading it.
“That seems like the journal of a child,” Solaris remarked.
" 'I can never be a legend, but that does not mean I can’t be part of one...' Oh dear," Luna muttered, flipping a page. " 'I will bring you along with me, so that I can write down all the details of our victory.' "
Luna sighed. "It seems we have a young changeling seeking glory and honor, just like ponies her age did in the past."
"We could put her on trial, but our ponies would treat her like a monster. We could interrogate her..."
"But we'd just be wasting our time." Luna set the book down on the desk.
Luna sat there, her face scrunching slightly in thought. “Well,” she finally said, “why not just let her go if she holds no importance to us?” [3]
Solaris shook his head. “In a word? Justice. She worked for the queen. She helped the invasion. There need to be consequences, even for a child...”
“So? Give her a spanking and send her home. There's no sense keeping her here. She is a child, so treat her like one."
Solaris stared at her flatly.
"Admit it," said Luna, a grin appearing on her face, "you're just mad because they cocooned you.”
“It took me days to wash the green out of my coat.”
“Did I ever tell you you're a terrible actor?"
Solaris raised an eyebrow. "Nothing I said has been anything less than the truth."
"It took a day.”
Solaris sighed. "Fine, but it was still hard to wash out."
"But that's beside the point. I was talking about your oh-so-convincing job of feigning defeat at the hooves of Chrysalis."
"What would you have had me do? Pummel her to death with my bare hooves in front of all of Canterlot?”
“No, but you could have tried a tad harder.”
“I’m sorry, but where were you?”
“How could you say such a thing?” Luna asked as she leaned back, feigning hurt. “I just did exactly what you told me to do. You told me that we should not intervene, so that our ponies can figure it out by themselves.”
“Ok, still,” Solaris replied.
“My point is that you could have done a better job.”
“Luna…” Solaris said as he looked at the ground. “I just couldn’t risk prolonging the fight. I can’t become that again.”
“Solaris!” Luna exclaimed as she stomped her hoof. “Look at me.”
Solaris lifted his head, a crestfallen look on his face.
“You are not that. You are better than that. No more of this talk.”
“But—”
“Enough of that," Luna interrupted her brother with a hug. “You’re a good pony with a good heart. No more of this talk, understood?”
“Yes,” Solaris said, returning the hug. “Thank you, Luna.”
Luna let her brother go, sitting back in her seat. “Still, there is the matter at hoof. If you are not going to let her go, then what will you do? I don’t need to remind you that we have a child on our hooves, and you said so yourself that if she is found out, our ponies may take matter into their own hooves.”
Solaris scrunched his face in thought for a minute. “I think I got an idea,” he finally said.
“Is that so?”
“Yes, I think I found a way where I can keep an eye on her and keep her out of the public, but I need to work on a few things before I finalize it.”
“That is good,” Luna replied as she stood up. “You can tell me later. I have court that I must attend.”
“Very well, take care, sister.”
“Good night, brother.”
Solaris watched as Luna left her room. His eyes drifted back to the changeling’s diary. “Looks like I have to watch over a child yet again.”
Welp here is the second chapter, hopeful it sets the setting for the rest of the story. I have changed both Celestia personality and Luna's slightly. There is a reason why have done this. It is meant to drive the story later on. (Well I hope and think so )
Edit: An explanation on why I made a male version of Celestia can be found here.
PS: I wonder how many people are going to not like this change, we shall see.
Also, special thanks to theRedBrony for doing a read through and helping me brainstorm.
Sorry, I for to publish this 2 hours ago.....
I feel so stupid not hitting that button....
Time to hope so, and woo, update! There has been a major dry spell recently sadly of so many fics, glad to see some still going for the works.
There were a few places where you could stand to put a comma, and at one point you had 'more [something]er'.
Do your editors not give you a changelog of sorts when they send stuff back to you?
2635721
There is no editors on this one, it is just me. It is a scrap story in which it helps me practice and catch editing mistakes. Needless to say I am not that good at it. What part had problems?
But aren't Lord and Lady already just the gender equivalents of each other? None of this hard and soft junk, they are just the male and female versions of the same category?
2635989
Yes and no to that. Well since both lord and lady has so many broad terms. Most times, to me, Lady just refereed to the wife of something important, a lord, knight, or something. Lord is not gender specific. Lord can be, and has been used to address females head of state. For example, the Lord of Mann (the head of state of the Isle of Man) is currently held by Queen Elizabeth II. So Luna has every right to call herself a lord, because by definition she is one.
But Lady itself can refer to a whole mess of things. To a female in power, or just as a civil, respectful manner to refer to a female.
So there is SSOO many ways to use both words, and don't know why it was made all the confusing throughout history. In short, Luna could call herself Lord Luna if she wishes it. But to her, that sounds much to intimidating in this setting. She would prefer it if she was addressed as 'Lady" Luna, because it does not have that somewhat intimidating feel as Lord. When she came back, she wanted to be more approachable, she did not necessarily want to scare them. She felt but opting for a different title from her brother, that it would make her more approachable than before.
Does that help? I hope it does because even I am confused on the usage of it at times.
why do i get the feeling this will be like your other one?
why cant you let the changelings have a happy ending!? lol i mean ill read it eather way but i already feel sad about this X3
still dieing to see the next chapter soon X3
2636292
Wooh, wooh, wooh. Lets slow down here and not draw conclusions. I have said that there will be SOME similarities to MttS. Not same story different character. I have also said there will be many differences.
Tell me, what concerns are you having exactly?
pretty sure it's meant to be infiltrator. Though now I get the weirdest image in my head. Changelings going around inflating ponies like balloons.
2636089 I see the perspective you are coming from. I don't know why the Isle of Man uses Lord to refer to both male and female, but nevertheless I would call the perception of Lady that you describe as a pop culture distortion of modern times based on people not having the same class distinctions as when Lord and Lady referred more commonly to positions of actual power, but I could myself be mistaken there. Either way, I see what you are trying to drive at in your story, so whatever. Even if I'm right, just as you turned Celestia into a guy, so can you turn Lord/Lady into what you say for this story, since you explained the way you're using it in the story so people shouldn't be confused by the terminology.
2636456
Sweet Celestia, I mean Solaris, or iunno. Regardless! I have fixed that. Sorry bout that, it was late when I was writing that bit.
The image I see though is a changeling wearing a suit causing money inflation.
2636465
Hehe, I actually looked at dictionary and other sources to figure out the distinction. Needless to say it is convoluted since it was used to describe so many dam things through out history. Well good thing I put foot notes right? XD.
Hopefully I wont have to do any more confusing/altering stuff anymore. Hopefully that is all done.
2635919
I know there's no editors on this story. I do know, however, that since you had to make that specification, you've had editors on other stories. And no offense to you, but I've inferred that since you've decided to practice on this story, you either don't know what the editors do to the chapters, or you simply don't take note of the changes. If they tell you what they fixed, you could try looking for common threads/issues. Alternatively, you could try comparing what you send them against what you get back. Just an idea.
As for current issues? Well, there's a few. Mostly commas. I've noticed I'm pretty anal about those for some reason...
Missing comma in bold.
Maybe change 'while' to 'and was'? I can't put my finger on it, but something about it sounds awkward...
Slipped into present tense, there.
Present tense, again. This is supposed to be in past tense, correct? Also, saying Equestria twice near the end there sounds a little redundant. Maybe use a pronoun?
Gah, this'll take a while... I want to just comb through it with a text editor, but I can't.
This whole paragraph is a little choppy, and you have two sentences in a row starting with 'though'.
Should be 'look'.
I could go on, but I can feel my drive to keep going through this waning. You could try reading it out loud, if you haven't already.
2636351
i said that is a joke it was fallowed by an LOL XD
i like changelings that's pretty much it lol, i did say i would continue to read this due to how awesome your other story is X3
even though there are no negative repercussions for celestia for basically omitting genocide. im pretty sure the doctor would not have liked that lol XD
STILL! i didn't mean anything about it! its just the dark tag makes me think oh crap i wonder what will happen to the changelings that's all really but again i will continue to read this awesome story! X3
I helped!
imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
2637884
Well if you want to edit sure fine be me!
But I understand what you mean. Part of it is that I just let my editors do what they do, look over the changes they made than post it to make sure their is no drastic change with the plot. One of the things is that I have a hard time with grammar. Like the small rules with commas and tense. It sounds right to me, but I don't know. I did read over through out loud to help me.
I think one hard thing I have is that it is hard for me to read my own work for some reason. Not because it is bad, it is just feels strange.
Yeah I know I have a lot of work to do.
2638203
As long as you're trying to get better.
And, despite the part where I should be scared out of my wits talking to a well-known author like an old chum, I'm happy to help.
2638306
Well known? Please... A well known author is someone like Varanus, GhostOfHeraclitus, Conor Cogwork to name a few. Those dues have like 30k views per story for a good reason.
I'm total fine that we talk as equals, prefer that actually.
Yeah just right now I need to figure out what to do at the moment.
2638329
...is it bad that I haven't heard of any of those three you listed?
2638337
Eh not really. Varanus wrote Composure, basically the fic that set me up for the Twiliestia thing.
GhostOfHeraclitus in my opinion probably rights the best comedy fics involving Celestia and Luna due to me believing it could easily be an episode. The way it is set up.
And Conor Cogwork wrote On a Cross and Arrow, basically the R63 fic. Pretty much if you look at 'top rated' fics, they are all there.
But right now, I am troubled because I am loosing a lot of interest in Enter Nurse Luna fast, and I want to spend more time on this. I learn that writing comedy is freaking hard.
2638402
Oh, yeah, Cross and Arrow.
For me, I've noticed that all the ideas I play out in my head end up half-serious. I can put comedy all over the place, but when it gets to serious stuff, I find myself itching to get back to random jokes.
We seem to be at opposite extremes, here...
2650854
Hey there,
I posted a blog post here to help explain my rationale. Hope it helps.
I think the biggest part of the weirdness I feel involving the change of Celestia/Solaris and Luna is that it comes across very much as Celestia and Luna's personalities, only reversed. I know we've only seen the one chapter, so it's a bit early to make that judgment for sure, but it's like Solaris is behaving like Luna and Luna is behaving like Celestia... and when we have those two personalities still there, it makes the change feel all that much stranger.
It's still looking like an interesting story, but my brain just seems to latch onto the change and refuses to let go...
2673090
No no, it is quite alright. I have made a blog post here that explains my rationale on why I did what I did.
To explain more on what you said, I find it very hard to characterize Luna based solely on what the show portrayed. In one episode, Nightmare Night, she acted a little bratty and immature. But couple episodes later, she showed more maturity and growth. She acted much more like Celestia did on the dream episode. So it is more iffy on Luna imo.
If you have any more questions feel free to ask so I can explain more if my blog post is not enough.
So in this story, Changelings are individuals with their own friends and families? You have no idea how rare those are to come across, let me tell ya.
3030369
Well right now I don't know as I am trying to figure set the story. What I mean is that yes, Changelings, all of them, are individuals. They have feelings just like any other sentient being.
But I am still working on their social structure right now, thinking what is best.and make sense. So it no secret that they look like colonial insects. So one idea is that in like nature, all changelings are offspring of the queen or something like that. So they are all related.
Or could be like Equestria where each changeling has family and just following a leader, like Celestia.
But in either case, they can have friends and interact with one another. It is just how their social structure are organized.
Now I know I am taking a long time right now, but their is some good news. I just got some brand new custom cover art for the fic, and it looks badass. So that is coming very soon.
As for the delay, I had a hectic summer as I was figuring out if I am going back to school or not (graduate school that is) So was thinking on that and I am moving out to school again very soon. So once I am settled in I can start working on fics again depending on how much time I have. So maybe end of this month will I be rerolling again.
But I have been thinking about this story and what to do with it. So it is still in my mind.
Hope that didnt burst your hopes.
3031056 Yeah, I just passed by it through Conicer, who is doing a cover for my fanfiction too.
Now personally, and this is just a suggestion I would go for the latter, "Or could be like Equestria where each changeling has family and just following a leader, like Celestia." mainly because it's not done nearly enough in fanfiction and that whilst Changeling do have an insectoid appearance, they are often described as a type of pony be the official handbook and they must at least be somewhat equine. It would certainly break away from convention and allow us to look at Changelings more individually.
In my own fanfiction, Maternal Instinct, I base them off Imperial Japan, but that's just me.
Well, I wish you the best of luck on this. And thanks.
I was somewhat caught off guard by a male version of Celestia, but I think you've got me hooked. Have a favorite.
This is certainly different. And the premise seems very interesting. Will keep an eye on this.
Poor Honeycomb, let's hope she'll be cured of that fear of hers soon--whatever Solaris has planned hinges on some kind of trust between them.
By the way, Where did you get the cover art? Because it's incredible.
3061227
Isn't it? It is really cool. Conicer drew it for me, so you can thank him if you want.
Thanks for the comment!
Alrighty, finally got around to reading this story and I just got to say... I am really liking it! I love your portrayal of Solaris in this fic.
As for your editing skills, I am aware that some of the readers has already pointed some stuff out (based on the comments) but really the only major thing stuck out like a sore thumb was in your author's note:
Personally, I would remove that second 'today' but to each their own.
I also saw that you said that you have some issues with grammar. I help proofread a couple stories here on fimfic and what has helped me with correcting grammar is this website (link). I'm not saying that you have to use it but I'm all for helping people out by pointing them in the right direction.
One more thing, I still love the cover art.
3085838
Thanks for the catch! Yeah I am working on the next chapter right now.
And yes, the cover art is so awesome.
Interesting changes to the characters of Solaris and Luna. Luna seems a lot more laid back than usual, and Solaris is like a whole different pony.
That pretty sums up my parents, my mom wants to help, and my dad has no qualms about chucking you in the deep end.
These are some very good characters, I like were this is going.
Damn, it's a gender bender...
So why did you change Celestia to Solaris? I'm not bothered by the change I'm just wondering why you decided to change it.
4252687 I'm going out on a limb and gonna guess that it's because it's easier to see Solaris as the kind of pony that fits the author's need or such...
Yeah, that explanation kinda got away from me midway through.
minus fifty points for "Celestia/Solaris was just faking their defeat."
The author's notes are really taking me out of this story.
While personally I could see the diarchy faking a defeat in order to teach the ponies to fight for themselves, now was not the time nor the place to do so. (Then again, when ever is it?) I don't care to explain, but as you can see, this just wasn't the way to go about it. Looks like it backfired, since the magical Cadence and Shining Armor (those in power) once again save the day, and the general ponies have nothing to fear. They don't need to get strong, they can just lean on those who will protect them, be it the diarchy, the elements, or the royal couple.
I'm curious what they're planning on doing with a changeling infiltrator or soldier. Likely dissecting them to understand the methods (magical science) on how they transform, so it can be detected in the future.
The Author's notes were a bad move here.
Firstly: Characters should not need to be explained to the reader. This is something we should be able to pick up on simply by reading the story. And while I agree with creating a new character, Solaris, (while I do think that simply interpreting Celestia differently would have been fine) I almost feel as if the same should have been done for Luna. However, Luna isn't very characterized. She's seen in a total of what, 3 episodes outside of her return? I suppose that you can interpret her however you wish, since the writers of the cannon show haven't given her any love.
My personal headcannon is that the roles are reversed. Celestia being the loving hand-holding wants-to-do-everything-for-her-subjects motherly figure, and Luna being the colder, calculating and logical one, thinking that they need to grow up and evolve, since they haven't changed much since she was gone.
That's just mine. I'm cool reading it from a different perspective.
Hmm, good that they don't seem very vindicative, especially since they were faking the defeat. Maybe in the end Honeycomb will help establish some form of diplomatic relations.