Good Griff!
Part 2 1/2 – Party Thyme
Chapter 12 – Everyone Dies
(In Which Everyone Dies)
“On the road agaaain!”
“Shut up.”
“Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway!
“Oh my god shut up.”
“We're the best of friends!
“Shutupshutupshutup.”
“Insisting that the world-”
“SUNNY! IDIOT! DAZE!”
The classic “use the full name” trick used by mothers everywhere works. Sunny stops singing and looks at me questioningly me. “What?”
“Shut up.”
“Both of you, shut up!” Flam grumbles sleepily. “Some of us are trying to get our beauty sleep, so would you kindly mind shutting your yaps.”
Really it’s just him and Lazy Bones snoozing in the back of the RV, and Bones wouldn’t wake up for an atomic bomb, but point taken.
Sunny and I apologize a the same time. “Oops, sorry.” “Sorry.”
I’m in the passenger seat up front with Flim, who’s driving. Sunny is chilling out just behind me, being his usual annoying self. We set out from the airport about two hours ago, heading for Sunny’s cousin’s farm in southern Illinois. Bones plotted us a trip there that’s going to take us about three days, driving seven hours for each leg in the middle of night. Flim and Flam think the route’s kind of weird, but Bones insisted.
Our first leg takes us from where we were in South Burlington, Vermont west, on lesser freeways to outside some small town in western New York. Then tomorrow night, we’re going from there to outside Dayton, OH. And the last leg will bring us to the Sunny’s family’s farm in southern Illinois. I’m told it’s not the way people would usually go, and the stops are in weird places, but what the hell do I know? Other than those three years in high school, I’ve lived in the city my whole life.
We continue driving in silence except for the sound of the engine and Bones’ occasional mumbling. We just got out from around Albany, and now out in the country in the middle of the night, there’s no one else on the road. Perfect. The quiet, the dark, and solitude. We’re going to stay nice and secret this time.
We get a whole fifteen minutes of quiet this time before he starts up again.
“There's a voice that keeps on calling me,
Down the road, that's where I'll always be.
Every stop I make, I make a new friend,
Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again!”
I pinch the bridge of my… beak and sigh. Goddamnit, Sunny.
“Confound it, will out cut out that racket!” Flam shouts.
Suddenly, the whole RV jerked. I looked up and all I saw was rushing water coming to greet us. What the hell? How did we wind up at Niagra Falls and how did we drive off? There's nothing anyone can do as we smash into the rocks at the bottom of the falls. Everyone dies.
☄~=-@-=~☆~=-@-=~★~=-@-=~☆~=-@-=~☾
All I see is endless white. Slowly it resolves into shapes and colors. Bones is here. So are Flim, Flam, and Sunny. We're in a room. And... we're at a party? What the hell? Why am I wearing a sombrero? Guess I may as well make the best of it and see if there's any candy in that piñata.
☄~=-@-=~☆~=-@-=~★~=-@-=~☆~=-@-=~☾
I wake up with a start. Oh wow. What a weird dream. I turn on the light next to my bed and turn to my wife, Suzanne Pleshette.
"Honey, wake up. You won't believe the craziest dream I just had. I was in Vermont. I think there was something about an airport. But I was an innkeeper in this crazy little town. Then I turned into a griffon and then we all died."
Patrick Duffy steps out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and holding a snowglobe with a house and an RV inside.
"Wow, that sounds weird," he says. "But you know what's weirder?" And then he unzips his face and he's Discord underneath. Huh, that IS weird.
"No, not that," says Discord. "What's REALLY weird is that it's been a full year since this story started and the lazy person in charge isn't even close to done yet. Anyway...
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Happy Anniversary!
4387920
Also, "chatper". Also, the whole chapter itself. It was intentional.
4387999
Yeah, I had imagined the Last Supper (appropriate since it's their last meal before their peace is ruined and their world is upended) picture months ago. So it was weird when I started drawing it the day before Holy Thursday. Coincidences and puppeteers, I tells ya. And wow, I forgot about that scene. My mom was obsessed with Friends when I was in middle/high school, which pretty much means I had to watch it a lot too. So I guess it's always somewhere deep in the back of my brain, and I never know when it's going to pop out. Example, the scene where they first meet Sunny and LB uses a series of rapid fire questions to determine his name. I thought that up, and only later after I'd published the chapter did I realize I'd gotten the idea from Phoebe's use of the same tactic on Joey.
4388314
Thanks!
i1.ytimg.com/vi/ny4ruF7ns3U/hqdefault.jpg
4391453
This is a... gooood... reaction?
You're so LAZY
...
...
...
Bones.
4396802
Da da dat da dum dum!
[that was the joke!]
Please leave this up.
It was a bit obvious a joke with such a blatantly misspelled title, but still, a fun little breather even if it was non-canon.
4444757
I figured I'd just leave it at the end of the story and make sure it's labeled "Joke Chapter". Or would it be better to leave it where it is? whatever.
4445357
Honestly, either works in my opinion
Know that isn't very helpfully, but either truly sounds just as good. Go with the one you think sounds slash looks best.
4445678
I have no strong opinions one way or the other. I only desire for this joke is that I hadn't missed the opportunity throw in a St. Elsewhere snowglobe ending reference in with the other famous TV twists.
...Wait. I'm a master retconjurer.
It is done.
4445689
There's a pony pic for that, you know!
s3.amazonaws.com/bronibooru/db9a5df9090364c3febad0d34fa935ab.jpg
Seriously though, if that ending happened, I'd burn every bit of pony paraphernalia I own and go cry in a shower for an hour or two. Just... urk.
I am not a fan of the twist ending, because far too often it just ruins the rest of the story.
I do wonder however how many death threats the writer of that last episode got, given how popular St. Elsewhere was once upon a time...
4445926
Hee hee hee hee hee heeeee!
4568922
Oh, it is a series dear to my heart. I played all three games in a time when I was in a dark place and they made me feel so good that something of such simple beauty could exist. I cried so hard at the end of 3. That final battle. Such feels. Expect two more Mother songs to show up.
...When I actually get around to finishing. I haven't gotten very far into the next chapter for various reasons, and I've been finding it difficult to work on the place I'm currently at for a while now. That's part of why it took so long for the previous two chapters. I HAVE finished writing the ending at first half of the epilogue though. So that ought to expedite things later.
But I digress. Mother good. Thanks for agreeing and reading and being awesome.
4639704
Fuck yeah, "Hitchhiker's fuck yeah!"!
4639766 FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH oh forget it this was over before it started
4712934 quickmeme.com/img/16/160473082bbbea7bd8d54407c90c3fa4a8904bf98ab6365819d2c69b28cc0629.jpg
4713046 I can agree to this.
4976360
That's unfortunate to hear. You definitely wouldn't like where it continues, seeing as how I add more characters. I was going for a standard five man party: the tank, the healer, and three DPS. Though, actually it more worked out to a tank, an agility melee DPS, and three Crowd Control, so maybe not. Or I guess you could say I was assembling a Ragtag Bunch Of Misfits with a The Big Guy, a The Old Guy (not actually old here), a The Funny Guy, a The Sidekick, and a The Smart Guy. And then it goes quite different places (and will end up somewhere completely separate if I ever get back to finishing this like I should). I couldn't really leave it with just these two schmucks sitting around in the woods. What kinda story would that be?
To tell the truth, I had no idea what I was doing when I started this. I just was reading the original Five Score right when the side story universe opened for business and I felt the urge to write for the first time in a long time and wanted to jump onto the 5S/4 bandwagon. I started out with the simple idea "what if me and Gilda went on a road trip?" and I shamelessly self inserted myself next to her. But then I figured out what I was doing and actually got a plan, realized what was horribly wrong with my initial spark of "der I self insert!", and veered into where I wanted to go. I'm actually quite ashamed now of how this started and very proud of where it's going.
So it's quite unfortunate that you don't care for it and don't want to continue. But ce la vie. Can't please everyone all the time. Thanks for the upvote and your time. I'm still a little baffled, though, about giving up on a story because it wasn't doing what you wanted it when you started it rather than letting it take you on the journey it has to tell. But that's just how I read, so eh.
I'm mildly averse to searing, but from the sound of things, the story will be worth it. I always like a good fivescore comedy/adventure. Definitely going to read this soon.
5093747
Ha ha, well strap in because the narrator swears a lot. Like, A LOT a lot. It's kinda her thing. I hope you stick with it despite that.
5093760 Meh, If the story's good then I couldn't care less.
5099179
I can honestly say I haven't.
That's all? Wow, can't wait for a new chapter! This story is awesome.
So, what I think of it so far: Very interesting characters, and the story is definitely going somewhere. While there is *some* romance in the story, it's not really romance so much as relationship conflict/issues/plot. And even at that, it's pretty toned down. At the beginning it can be a bit difficult to get used to how much Gayle (Gilda) swears (a lot), but either I got used to it quickly or her language became more tame. Also, in contrast with most of the popular fivescore sidefics, this one omits the whole 'identity crisis' spiel, which I honestly prefer. (Mostly because the original fivescore was that way.) This story is a soaring adventure story, and manages to avoid becoming too light or too dark.
While the story is far from finished, I definitely recommend giving it a read.
5101152
Wow, thanks for the glowing review! Now I really need to get back to writing this to give you more to read.
5103467 Yeah, I myself have been waiting relentlessly :3
Added to my read later
listlibrary. Referred by Shadejak5194626
Thanks! I hope you enjoy it! That Shadejak is a stand up guy.
5543718
Nicely spotted, sir!
seems like there's maybe some life still in this five score fic. looks like i'll add ya to my readlist.
5597259
Yeah, I fully intend to finish it. I just need to get off my lazy tentacles. About once a week, I open up the gdoc of the next chapter, look at it for about a minute, then get distracted by WoW and imgur.
5597993
**Gets up and stretches**
Welp. better get writing then. cause I'm all caught up :P
**looks at their own unfinished story sitting in a Gdoc**
I should reread this story at some point. Not to mention that I'm five chapters behind. I find the author's last comment reassuring, as this is among the best, if not the best, of the side-fics.
5707349
Oh my, this is some high praise! Thanks!
I really hope this story gets an update at some point in the future. It's such a good story, and I would be devastated if it were to just curl up and die
5779597 I know! I know! I have the whole rest of the story planned out, and I REALLY want to continue it. But I'm SOOOO laaaazy. (No pun intended.) I've got three videos to finish/start-and-do-completely before the new season starts, plus the Pirene audio book, and I end up spending my nights looking at imgur and /r/stevenuniverse.