I Am Twilight Sparkle

by Mike the Red

What Do YOU Want?

Laying down helped me put my mind at ease and I could feel my magic replenishing itself rather quickly. I fell asleep and started dreaming again, this time finding myself inside a rather cozy little cottage with various animals scurrying about and a yellow pegasus humming a gentle but upbeat tune as she tended to her animal friends with great care. Upon seeing me, she smiled warmly and offered me some tea, which also seemed to have a calming and restorative effect on me. She told me she was going to the spa with Rarity and wanted me to come along as well, an offer I graciously accepted. I heard a knocking at her front door, which she opened to reveal the alabaster mare, who smiled warmly at me when she saw me. The pegasus beckoned me to follow her outside and the three of us trotted through town chatting amiably with each other as we made our way to the spa. For some reason, I seemed to melt away from my two companions and found myself in another place.

I now stood in what looked like an extremely large room dominated by a large throne, a very large white pony sitting on the throne, her body decorated with a very long horn, a pair of very large wings, a bejeweled tiara on her head, a golden collar with another jewel inset in it and golden hoof-guards upon her hooves. She smiled serenely at me and beckoned me to approach, her voice calm and soothing, very gentle in its address. I slowly approached as she assured me there was nothing to fear. She seemed to sense my trepidation, so she approached and wrapped a wing around me. The warmth felt very comforting and instilled a sense of safety and confidence within me.

I felt a nudging against my head and woke up to see said large white pony standing at my bedside.

"Twilight Sparkle, what are you doing here?" she asked me. I looked up at her with a puzzled expression.

"Princess Celestia? What are YOU doing here? This is my house!" I replied in exasperation.

"I was having a polite conversation with you and you simply disappeared on me!" the Alicorn replied, her exasperation matching mine. "You would not believe the trouble I went through in order to find you! Now come back home where you belong!" she chided me.

"I kinda hate to break it to you, Princess, but I AM home. I woke up in this body just a few hours ago, and -- what are you doing?" I asked as she started sniffing the air, then sniffing the bed and saw the wet spot.

"You've been a naughty filly, Twilight. How did this happen?" she asked, pointing to the wet spot with her left fore-hoof, though she was grinning slyly at me the whole time.

"I have a human wife, who decided to see what my horn felt like -- apparently, she took some delight in running her hand up and down its length for several minutes. I had no idea my horn is that sensitive to touch," I said, blushing in embarrassment. "I was hoping I could get this cleaned up -- I had no idea you'd be searching for me, your Majesty."

"If this is your home, then why not give me a tour of it?" she asked. She used her magic to clean the wet spot out of my bed and laid down upon it. "This is quite a nice bed you have here! It's almost as comfortable as mine!"

I was about to thank her for the compliment, but her weight was such that it caused the bed to break under her. I heard the snapping of wood, then the creaking of the metal frame, then the mattress and box spring dropped to the floor, making a very loud banging noise. The Princess' expression was priceless in my opinion, her shock registering a full ten point zero on my amusement scale. I had to stifle giggles, even though she destroyed my bed in the process. She blushed in embarrassment.

"I'm terribly sorry about that, Twilight -- here, let me fix it for you," she said and used her magic to fully repair the bed and strengthening it as well. She saw the TV on the bookcase and pointed at it. "What exactly is that object over there? I see some glowing letters at the bottom of it."

"That's a Vizio TV, a 37 inch model. Here, let me turn it on for you," I said, taking the remote in my telekinetic aura and pushing the power button. I changed a few channels, landing on -- what else -- My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic "Maybe I should have thought twice about showing her that," I thought, as I saw her expression change to one of near total shock.

"You mean to tell me -- that -- we are nothing more than -- images? We seem to be figments of somepony's imagination," she mused. She watched as Trixie used the Alicorn Amulet to kick Twilight out of Ponyville and enclose the town in a huge glass bowl. "So THAT'S what she did," the Princess mused. "That's very disappointing -- I hope she learned her lesson."

"I've seen this episode before, and yes, she does learn her lesson. Would you like to watch the rest of it?" I asked. The Princess simply nodded and we watched the rest of that particular episode. When some commercials aired, she asked me quite a few questions about the products advertised and I told her the target audience for the program was pre-teen girls.

"Then why the advertising?" she asked.

"Well, that's how TV broadcasters make their money -- by selling airtime to different companies who wish to sell their products to certain audiences. If you were to watch other programs, the advertising is designed for different audiences, based on the targeted demographic," I explained. Quite a few more commercials aired before the program ended, the Alicorn complaining almost bitterly about the quality of the advertising and the simplistic messaging employed.

"I would say it speaks to the poor quality of education in our country," I postulated. Presently, the show came to its end, the Princess smiling at the outcome, even going so far as to wrap a wing around me again.

"Ah, so Trixie apologized and you forgave her excesses. Very nice! I would expect no less of you," Celestia said as she wrapped a wing around me. I blushed in embarrassment again.

"Your Majesty, if you don't mind, I would like to give you a tour of my house," I stated, turning off the TV.

"Very well then, Twilight. Enlighten me, please," she said, smiling again. I showed her some of the books in the bookcase the TV was standing on, though I wasn't sure if she could read works published in English. She selected one at random and asked me to read the title.

"You picked up "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them," by Al Franken," I stated. "An interesting choice, I must say."

"What's it about?"

"It goes into detail about political pundits who have large audiences and manipulate the political beliefs of their listeners or viewers by telling outright falsehoods. Mr. Franken goes into detail about certain people he detests, largely because they get away with disseminating lies and passing them off as factual," I explained.

"Why would they do that? Why would they lie to people?"

"There are certain people who make their living by telling lies to people. Greed makes people do bad things, and when certain very rich people decide they want those who have a great deal of influence on others to tell nothing but lies to help further their particular agenda, they will resort to paying those influential people very large sums of money to tell lies. It's something that has proven to have a corrosive effect on our democratic system of government," I stated flatly.

"Hmm. Your explanations definitely mark you as somepony completely different from Twilight. So if you're not her, who are you exactly?"

"You have found yourself on a planet filled to overflowing with humans -- Homo sapiens -- and until this morning, I was one of seven billion humans populating this planet. My human name is Michael Walker, but last night, I made a wish to experience being Twilight Sparkle, though I had no idea said wish would be granted."

"Hmm. That sounds like a male name. So that explains your odd behavior -- but even so, I am curious to see the rest of your home," the Sun Goddess stated, smiling gently.

"Okay, so this is the master bedroom," I said, waving my right fore-hoof around it. I looked up to see the ceiling fan, so I turned on the light then pulled the switch for the ceiling fan a few times, trying to get the fan to work. I used magic to fix it so that it would work, which amused the Princess. "That ceiling fan hasn't run for a few years now, but I never got around to replacing it. Being able to magically fix it is much more satisfying," I stated cheerfully. I opened the closet for her, showing her my wife's collection of clothes, filling the closet completely.

"Those are your wife's clothes? Does she wear everything in here?"

"Sometimes, but quite a bit of it is stuff she almost never wears, except for certain occasions. Her daughters have a tendency to come in here and take stuff without telling her, which makes her very angry when she's looking for something specific to wear and can't find it," I stated. I closed the closet and opened the bedroom door. Xaviera was climbing the stairs and saw Celestia and freaked out again, losing her balance on the stairs and falling backwards. She screamed as she fell, but the Princess' quick reaction saved her as she enveloped my stepdaughter in her golden aura, setting her gently on the floor in front of the stairs.

"Thanks, whoever you are," Xaviera said, though her expression was still full of fear.

"You are a human?" the Solar Princess asked quizzically. "What is your name?"

"Xaviera," she replied.

"Excellent. I apologize for startling you, Xaviera," she said graciously. "Twilight, what else is there?"

I pointed a hoof at the door to the middle bedroom. "This is the room Xaviera and her two daughters sleep in." A little further down was the spare bedroom and the bathroom at the end of the corridor. Celestia commented on the embroidered guest towels with my cutie mark on them, but I told her that was something I had just done a few hours ago. I looked down the stairs at this point.

"Twilight, you are capable of going down a staircase, I'm sure," the Alicorn chided gently.

"Your Majesty, I need more practice doing that," I said, and teleported to the floor at the base of the stairs.

"You shouldn't waste your magic like that," she said as she descended the stairs gently, the wooden steps creaking in complaint at her hoofsteps. I pointed to the kitchen and Celestia marveled at the refrigerator, stove and cabinets being made of stainless steel, expressing a desire for similar appliances in the Castle. We walked into the front room, dominated by a very large TV and a sofa and loveseat.

"Is that big black object also a TV?"

"Yes, Princess. There's another TV down in the basement as well," I stated flatly.

"Why would you need three of these devices? Are they some sort of window on the world?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes, you could say that, though having to pay for programming is a pain," I replied. We trotted toward the front door, the stairs leading down to the basement to the left. We went downstairs and I showed the TV and computer. The large chunk of gold was still sitting on the floor and the Alicorn noticed it.

"That's odd. What is that doing here?" she asked.

"That's part of a tree stump from outside -- I changed it into gold so my wife could get some money. We still owe quite a bit of money on our house, though I think she's left to go gambling," I said, a slight hint of anger in my voice.

"I had no idea you were that talented," Celestia mused.

"If you think that's something, wait til you get a glimpse of my car," I chuckled.

"I'm curious to see it."

"It's outside, in front," I stated, leading the way upstairs, opening the front door and trotting to the driveway the car was sitting in. The Solar Princess followed me outside, the day unusually bright and sunny. She saw the car and smiled.

"How does that ... thing ... work?"

"I need the keys," I said. I concentrated, wrapping my aura around the keyfob still in my pants and teleported the keyfob in front of me. Using my telekinesis, I pushed the unlock button, then opened the driver's door.

"What does it do, exactly?"

"Would you like to go for a ride, your Majesty?" I asked, grinning. She noticed other vehicles traveling along the street in front of our house.

"I believe I'd rather not, thank you, Twilight."

"Well, I guess that concludes the tour, Princess. Is there anything else you'd like?"

"I'd like for you to accompany me to the Castle," she replied, still smiling.

"But this is my home, here. Maybe some other time?"

"Very well then, Twilight. Some other time, then. But the next time I return, I must insist that you accompany me," she replied, sounding somewhat concerned about my refusal to return to Equestria.

"I'm not ready to go there -- not just yet, anyway," I thought to myself as the Sun Goddess teleported away. I closed and locked the car, taking the keyfob in my teeth and went back in the house.

"What -- who -- what -- was THAT?" asked Xaviera.

"That was Princess Celestia -- Twilight Sparkle's teacher, mentor, and co-ruler of Equestria. She's responsible for raising and lowering the Sun in her realm," I stated, some admiration for the Alicorn in my voice.

"Why'd she come HERE?"

"She wanted me to go with her back to Canterlot," I replied flatly.

"Is that where she lives?"

"Yeah, there's a Castle there -- that's her home, and apparently, I lived in it as well for a time," I said.

"So you know what the Castle looks like?"

"Oops -- when I said "I" lived in the Castle, I meant Twilight lived there, not me," I replied, feeling a little shamefaced.

"So where did she go?"

"Celestia teleported back to Canterlot, though I told her I didn't want to go. Maybe some other time I will, but not right now," I replied. "I think I'm gonna go back to bed and get some more sleep. I'm still feeling pretty tired." I trotted back upstairs and used my telekinesis to lift myself into the bed and pulled the cover on top of me again. It seemed fairly easy for me to fall asleep and I returned to my vivid dreams of Ponyville.

I was trotting from the Library toward Sugarcube Corner to pick up an order of cupcakes for a slumber party to be held this evening. I wanted there to be two cupcakes for everypony, plus an extra for Spike, should he want one. I saw Rainbow Dash flitting about in the sky, playfully kicking the clouds out of existence. She spotted me and swooped down to greet me. I asked her if she would try to keep from getting drunk at the slumber party tonight, but she said she wouldn't make any guarantees. I chuckled at her response and she continued to fly around as I trotted to the Bakery. Pinkie Pie met me on the way, excitedly bouncing around and asking silly questions, some of which I took the time to answer, but that only elicited even more questions from the overly talkative pink party pony.

She told me she had baked a special batch of cupcakes for tonight's slumber party and gave them to me after entering the bakery. I placed several small coins on the counter to pay for the order and examined the confections, noticing lime green icing on them. I was tempted to eat one, but kept mindful of the party later on as I trotted back to the Library. The pink pony waved her good-bye to me as I melted away from the scene.

I melted into another cozy cottage, this time the interior was dominated by a large cauldron. A Zebra was humming an odd tune, talking in rhyme as she mixed ingredients into the bubbling cauldron, occasionally stirring it. She greeted me warmly and offered me a cup of tea to soothe my nerves and focus my energies. The tea was quite invigorating and I thanked her graciously. She offered a cot for the night, but I told her I had to get back to the Library. She warned me of the dangers of the forest, but I was too impatient to make it back home. As soon as I was outside the Zebra's cottage, I teleported back to the Library and went inside.

Spike had made dinner and as I tucked into my plate of food, my assistant reminded me of the party to be held shortly. I heard a knocking at the door and allowed the other ponies to enter, though I hadn't recalled inviting Lyra and Bon-Bon to the party, though I welcomed their presence anyway. We enjoyed ourselves till well in the night when everypony left to go to their respective homes, leaving Spike and me to clean up the mess they made. I then went upstairs to get some sleep.

A certain dark blue Alicorn wandered her way into my dreams, making sure I was having happy dreams and not nightmares. Her voice seemed to calm me, soothing my psyche, releasing any pent up tension. I think I smiled at her as she softly called my name and wished me sweet dreams. She seemed to melt away at this point.

I found myself back in the library again and encountered another lavender unicorn, who must have been my doppelganger. She wanted to talk to me, asking me lots of questions, which I tried to answer as best I could. She told me she wanted to visit my human home and told me about Celestia visiting her and telling her about me. I found myself asking her if she knew what these dreams meant and she told me that there might be a mission for me in the future, though she didn't know what it would be. I asked her if I could be harmed while in my dream state, but she said she didn't know and that I should direct such a question to the Sun Goddess herself. She then asked more questions of me, but for some reason, I melted away from the Library again.

I had slept so long it was dark out again. Xaviera complained about being hungry and wanted to know if I could cook something, or perhaps order food for delivery. I fished my wallet out of my pants and took out a twenty and told her to call for a pizza or two.

"Make sure one of those is a plain cheese pizza -- I can't eat any meat and not even picking it off will get rid of the greasiness of the meat," I stated flatly.

"When's mama coming back?" she asked.

"She said something about going to the boat, and you know how she is when she's in one of those moods. Last time I was with her, we didn't leave until four in the morning," I grumbled.

Xaviera called the pizza place and ordered a couple of medium pizzas, the total coming to almost seventeen dollars. I told her to give the driver the whole twenty -- admittedly, not a great tip, but not a bad one either. I decided to get a little more practice on the stairs, starting with the carpeted ones leading to the basement. After about half an hour, our pizzas arrived and I had gotten pretty good at going up and down the five steps to the basement. The non-carpeted ones leading upstairs were eight steps, which was going to take a bit more practice, though going up was easier than going down. I ate a slice of the cheese pizza, thoroughly enjoying the mix of flavors. It took about another hour of practice on the eight steps up before I was confident enough in my ability to go back to bed once again. I wasn't sure why, but I seemed to be especially sleepy since my transformation. I climbed back into bed and fell asleep quite quickly once again.

Comments

[honeyhoneyhoney]

everythingwillbealrighteverythingwillbealrighteverythingwillbealright *POUNDS HEAD* WHY WON'T YOU BE ALRIGHT!!!

[Pinklestia]

Of course she is tired, she is using a lot of magic.