Pharynx: I got detention once.

Fluttershy: What, why?

Pharynx: Instructor said that our class was impossible to teach, and said one of us should try to teach the class.

Pharynx: So I got up and walked to the front of class and said ‘Class Dismissed’ and walked out.

Rainbow: How dare you. I am an adult. I work hard. I pay my water bills. You will not disrespect me here. I can’t believe you have the gall to call me childish, now get out of my pillow fort!

Celestia, in the dream world: Ow! Son of a b-

Luna, pulling a filly close: Celestia! Children!

Celestia: —iscuit. Son of a biscuit.

Luna: Nice save.

Read More

Rainbow: Standing next to sunflowers make me feel weak. Like, “Look at this flower. It’s taller than me! This flower is winning and I am losing.”

Twilight: Wow...you are not ready to hear about trees.

Pinkie: I’m sick of being called a “mortal.” Like, you don’t know that. I don’t know that! I haven’t died a single time in my life, stop making assumptions.

Read More

Twilight: What is one way to be nice to someone?

Rainbow: Not stabbing them.

Twilight: Setting the bar low, but I’ll allow it.

Celestia: Whoa, you're being a little-

Luna: Obstreperous? Recalcitrant? Truculent?

Celestia: I was going to say “Cray-cray.”

Everyone: *Sad*

Read More

Chrysalis: How do you rate your pain?

Starlight: 0/10

Chrysalis:...how? Your hoof is literally bent backwards.

Starlight: 0/10, would not recommend.

Trixie: Oh, so when crows remember who have wronged them it’s “intelligent” and “super cool,” but when I do it it’s “petty” and I “need to get over it.”

Read More

Rainbow: You ever think about how your skeleton is always wet?

Twilight: I wish I never had but thanks for ruining my life.

Rainbow: You’re welcome!

Applejack: Don’t worry! There will come a time when it’s not.

Twilight: Thanks! Even worse.

Counselor: So, Rainbow, what are your goals in life?

Read More

Celestia: I think I just took a five-hour nap.

Starlight: Pretty sure that’s called sleeping.

Luna: I’m also pretty sure it was fifteen hours, but whatever.

Thorax: I’m sending good vibes your way. They're coming. There is nothing you can do to stop them!

Pharynx: I think that’s the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Read More

"Kill your darlings," Stephen King Hemingway Faulkner Arthur Quiller-Couch said to young authors, in his 1914 lecture "On Style":

Read More

I have ALWAYS loved the Joker more, he's a much more interesting character

You know when you think about something, and it makes sense in context, but then you think about it out of context.
And it makes zero sense?
Well this blog post is going to be a running compilation for whenever I'm struck by those moments.

He opened a cabinet door in his chest and removed his ice covered ticker. The chaos bug duly ignited and thawed it out for him.

-Discord, Friendship is Scaleless, Chapter 21

HE DINE AND DASH ME!! HE SIP AND SKIPPED ME!! HE CHEW AND SCREW ME!!

What?

He no pay for his four scorpion bowl!!

Oh great King Nod! Have no fear, Zig Zag your grand vizier is here!

"*.exe c:\dos\dosshell.com .. MS-DOS (c)1992"

"->>ABRAXAS-5<<--"

"...For he is not of this day"

"...Nor he of this mind"

Gentlemen of the Jury: The best friend a man has in the world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son or daughter that he has reared with loving care may prove ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and our good name may become traitors to their faith. The money that a man has, he may lose. It flies away from him, perhaps when he needs it most. A man's reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill-considered action. The people

Read More

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence

The vectors were too big and cluttered up the original, so I made this 1.1 Version to remove the vectors and include referential links to make the quotes more fun to go through.

Unicorn Version

Trained

-What has my study been interrupted for?
-My knowledge seems to be required.

Selected

-I have a book to go back to. Make it quick.
-I am here only because the Princess wills it.
-Yes?
-What will my studies be handy for?
-I tarry too long. Tell me what you need.

Read More

I haven't done this in a REALLY long time.

Insulting my integrity! EH FATSO?!?

Intimating i'd flee this flea bitten dump! EH FATSO?!?

Insinuating I'd abscond with your financial remunerations! EHH FATSO?!?

Hey look a Dick Tracey character. Prune Face!

"No! Don't say it. Thou had thy groping hands busy upon Homuras body?!?"

"NO! I SWEAR I'M HAPPILY HETERO!!"

Trixie: I did meet some of the most insufferable creatures. But they also met me.

"Beware for the-!"

"Just forget it."

"Aw please? I haven't said it in such a long time!"

"Oh alright but don't expect a big reaction."

"No no no of course not! *ahem* For the path you take will lead to certain destruction! Thank you very much."