A simple bullet list of stuff this time:

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Bronycon 2019 lasted four days.

This is what that meant.

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Here’s a list of true events I’ve lived through in the last few weeks—assembled in somewhat chronological order. Keep in mind I wrote this intending it as a comedy, but since it’s an actual abridged chronicle of my life, it reads like a horror story. 

I expect nobody will laugh when reading this.

And I find that so unbelievably fucking funny, oh my God.

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So back in 1925, they weren't called 'blogs'. They were called 'essays'.

I’ve been reading essays lately.

I know my audience, believe it or not—I am aware that some of you sneak into my room in the wee hours of night to caress my sleeping angel face and read my diary. For the sake of everybody else in the house, though, I want to explain something: there are two Latin American authors I really, really like.

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Okay, so the bad part about having too many stories (like that's even possible) is that I can miss notifications (or forget them by mistake) because, no, I do not get too many (really, detailed!comments and updoots and shit make my day) but there are times when I can get quite a bit (rare) but other times, I sometimes won't get them at all.

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1) Holidays exist, and I hope y'all have some nice ones.

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TL;DR: This story had a lot of problems, so I rewrote it from scratch. It's now better in pretty much every way, but it will require any existing readers to restart from the beginning. The story includes many changes and new scenes that will leave any reader who does not do so lost. I apologize and understand if this upsets anyone who has been following the story, but I feel it to be necessary for this story to meet the standards I want it to.

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This blog was commissioned by Multiversecruise.

Nowadays everybody wants to fuck Sunset Shimmer until their naughty parts become clean again, so it’s somehow redeemed, but when it first came out EQG was something like Pony Satan. It was a bad movie that, judging by our reaction, was going to burn our crops and murder our children. It ruined the cartoon horses. Everything was doomed.

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Well, sort of. The fridge broke so I had to clean it out. Other than that, today's been pretty chill. This guy from Jesus camp wanted to hang out today, but I couldn't go because my brother was moving. The good news is that my friend is coming over Friday night! So far, the hooch has been looking pretty good. The balloon inflated throughout the day yesterday, and you could hear the bubbles if you listened carefully. Today, it stayed the same size. It will be ready

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If you've bothered to look at Equestria Daily recently, unlike me who pretty much never checks the site, you may have noticed a thing.

I actually got featured on EqD! My first feature! It's here!

Granted, I've submitted my stuff before and been rejected all the other times - again, very good reasons to do so. I'm looking at you, comma errors.

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///

👏 stop 👏 recommending 👏 me 👏 chariakko 👏 art 👏
👏 I 👏 do 👏 not 👏 like 👏 or 👏 support 👏 that 👏 kind 👏 of 👏 thing 👏

*I sit in front of a big, fancy chair in the middle of a big fancy old room while in front of a fire place while wearing red robes and smoking a pipe*

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Well, there are eleven days left for the deadline of the contest (remember: February 2nd), and so far we have one submission and sixty-seven goddamn applications.

Jesus fuck, my judges are going to die. I ain't, however. You can't kill what's already dead, and -- well, y'all read the berry blog already. Some things, a man can't come back from. I think biologically you can't classify me as human anymore. Gagh.

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But Yaks no destroy because it was still pretty okay

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This happened.

This is an actual conversation that happened. Slightly edited and streamlined to be easier to read, but accurate nonetheless. I am legitimately this fucking dumb. But, shit, might as well be me who tells the story.

Aragón: and then my pharmacist asked my sister if I'm always “like this”

Aragón: which I honestly took as a compliment?

Aragón: but I guess I technically can’t go back to that place anymore

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This just happened. This is real, I'm not kidding, this is an actual true story. This has changed me.

Today I woke up to my neighbor gently jacking off his dog.

I just took a nap in my new house for the first time, and my neighbor was gently jacking off his dog under my window. I got out of bed, stretched my arms, and looked at the city of Barcelona with a big smile on my face, and my neighbor was gently jacking off his dog under my window.

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So I poured myself some whiskey and what felt like two seconds later, my dad came into the room where I was drinking. I was sitting at the dinner table and put the glass between my legs. When I miraculously had the chance, I ran up to my room and finished the whiskey. Now I'm drunk. I feel pretty chill but know I'm gonna feel like shit tomorrow. I normally stick to a finger to a finger and a half of whiskey, but this time I had about 2 fingers. Wow I'm trash.

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No, really, I can. Even when I haven't had much of anything to show for it lately, I'm writing and that does mean that I haven't quit. I've never been the best at using these blogs to connect to people like other users on the site, but if you had been worried that I had forgotten something, downgraded to a lurker, or something else, then I haven't. What I have been doing is working on packing and everything else that comes with a move, and have been working on various tasks for this over the

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