I meant the words you use instead of 'said'

That's not the way it works.

If you just replace 'said' with different words, that makes it worse. All those 'exclaimed's and 'grunted's just draw more attention to the dialog tags, which is usually not where you want the reader's attention.

Getting rid of 'said' is a more delicate matter, and there are several techniques that can help you. (Using these techniques in combination can make you able to write a story without a single 'said', even if there's a lot of dialog.)
But, sure... I'll go through them.

1) The simplest method is to just get rid of them. They're often completely unnecessary already. If you can remove the 'he said' portion without making it unclear who was talking, just get rid of it.

"I'm leaving you," she said.
----becomes----
"I'm leaving you."

2) In back-and-forth dialog between two characters, it can usually be assumed that each alternating piece of dialog is from the other character. Better to only count on this when only two characters are present or expected to speak. If three or more characters are talking, it could quickly get confusing.

"How are you doing?" he said.
"Fine. How about you?" she asked.
"Not so great. My dog died," he replied.
----becomes----
"How are you doing?" he said.
"Fine. How about you?"
"Not so great. My dog died."

3) Sometimes the dialog tag is unnecessary because the content of the dialog itself plainly points out who's speaking. At a more advanced level, even if the dialog as-is doesn't show who's speaking by its content, you can add a bit to it to show who's speaking that way.

Rainbow and Rarity were left alone in the room together.
"I hope Twilight saw me," Rainbow said.
----becomes----
Rainbow and Rarity were left alone in the room together.
"Did you see that barrel roll I pulled off? I hope Twilight saw me."
(Because, obviously, Rarity doesn't do barrel rolls.)

4) Combine it in the same paragraph as an action from that character. (This only works if you scrupulously make sure that each paragraph contains the thoughts, actions, and/or dialog of only one character... which you should be doing anyway.) (As a corollary, you should pretty much never have more than one dialog tag per paragraph, even when a single character has more than one piece of dialog within that paragraph.)

"That was so awesome!" Rainbow said.
----becomes----
Rainbow did a loop in midair. "That was so awesome!"

(This has a corollary, and one that's easy to spot and get rid of)
"That was so awesome!" Rainbow said as she looped in midair.
"That was so awesome!" Rainbow said, looping in midair.
----becomes----
"That was so awesome!" Rainbow looped in midair.
(While this is often preferable, you will sometimes want to use the first example instead, when it's important to point out that she did both things at the same time, rather than saying the dialog then looping in air. But many newer writers overuse the first example and use it when it's not necessary.)

5) Character voice. By letting each of your characters have a unique voice, it can be apparent to the reader who's speaking even without any other clues. (And, going back to #1, if your reader knows who's speaking without the dialog tag, you can get rid of it.)

For example, I bet you can tell which of the mane 6 speaks each of these phrases, even though they essentially mean the same thing:
"That is simply dreadful! I cannot imagine why you would ever do a thing like that."
"Um... I, well... I'm not sure that's really a good idea."
"What the hay? Now why'd you go an do a darned fool thing like that?"
"He he he! That's the silliest thing ever!"
"Huh? You're crazy! Why would you do that?"
"Actually... you might want to reconsider."

6) And finally (this one is last for a reason), you can replace 'said' with a different word. This should be done very rarely, and 90% of the time, 'said' or 'asked' are the only dialog tags you'll want to use. Many newer writers -- after being told they use 'said' too much -- start using all kinds of synonyms where they don't belong... which only draws more attention to the unnecessary dialog tags. Still, this technique can help you avoid a bit of repetitive 'said's, if you use it in moderation.

"I'm scared," Fluttershy said in a quiet voice.
----becomes----
"I'm scared," Fluttershy whispered.

And, finally, I'll add: 'Said' is not a bad word. It has its uses. In fact, at one point, I started using it so little that readers actually complained that the complete lack of it struck them as strange and jarring. Still, a lot of new writers tend to overuse it -- especially those who think they need a dialog tag on every piece of dialog in the whole story... so I hope my little lesson here can help teach people how to gracefully avoid using it.

4268835 I don't know if I overuse it. I try to add a verb or something after a 'said' or something similar. Otherwise, I might just skip it. (Unless reading that paragraph with 'said' feels better with it rather than without)

But thank you for all of the tips, I'm sure it'll help a lot of writers, including myself

Thanks for the writing help!
I actually don't use enough dialogue tags, though! It's like:

'Blah" said bob.
'bleg?"
'blah blah blah'
'blu, bleh, blah bah blah!'
'bla blee blob bloop'
'bleeeeg'
blooooooogh'
'bla bla bla bla'
'bleeeesgh'
'bliiiii?BLLA"
'bla.'
'bla!!"

Except more...y'know...actual words.

I personally use 'says' since I stick to present tense unless I'm being descriptive in the tone.

4268835

Thank you for this lecture. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid using too much action words that replaces "said" when I write a next story.

4268869
Thankfully, using it more often is pretty easy.

4268868
True, well, same either way. All those examples could be re-worded in present tense pretty easily.

4268867
Heh, yeah. You can only depend on the back-and-forth effect for so long before you risk readers losing track of it. You've got to put little reminders in there now and then. (And it's good to have your characters doing things while they talk anyway. It'll help you avoid talking head syndrome.)

4268852
Well, if you're adding a verb after the 'said', you can often then just drop the said and use only that verb, as in the second set of examples in #4.

4268876 Yeah, I'll try to do that in my future stories... Maybe practise this with one-shots

4268835

I'll use 'said' more often than I will any bookism, but I will use other speech-tag verbs on occasion if I feel that it's not intrusive in that one instance, and that it's somehow more appropriate than any other way of describing the way in which someone says something. It's just that there are few occasions where I find both conditions to be true.

I try to use 'said' as little as possible, using action tags wherever it is feasible, and forgoing any sort of indicator altogether during strings of two-person back-and-forths. I have been told, however, that I tend to cut them out too much.

One thing that i'm not really fond of, is using 'he said' or 'she said.' Unless there's only one female and one male present, using pronouns can easily defeat the purpose of using the speech-tags in the first place.

4268979

You know, I've read a lot of fiction in a lot of different genres and I've never once been bothered by writers using words like "groaned" or "shouted" in place of the standard tag "said." Do readers really care about this? I don't. Seriously, read any book nowadays and you'll see this supposed "rule" get trampled on.

You must not be reading the bad enough ones! ^.^

Sure, an occasional 'groaned' or 'shouted' is fine, especially if it really is important to get across exactly how the dialog was said. Even the rare 'exclaimed' is okay. When it becomes a problem, though, is the ones who overdo it, and use things like that for almost every dialog tag.

(On the more general note... just because it has good enough style to please the masses doesn't mean the style couldn't be better. ^.^ If you can please the connoisseurs while still making the huddled masses happy, why not?)

I like the guide, but it's grammatically incorrect to remove said, exclaimed, etc... A English Teacher or Professor would take off points for this. :-/

4269071
Wrong.

Capitalization and Paragraphs

Capitalize the first word of what the person says.

Start a new paragraph each time a person speaks. This separates the characters to distinguish who is speaking and create a natural flow for the reader. A dialogue tag (he said/she said) does not need to be used every time someone speaks. Therefore, it is necessary to start new paragraphs to make it clear who is speaking during a verbal exchange.Interjections, words that express emotion, are usually found within exchanges of dialogue. Read this article on interjections to see some examples of interjections and how to properly punctuate when using them.

source

Veering too much beyond "he said/she said" only draws attention to the tags — and you want the reader's attention centered on your brilliant dialogue, not your ability to think of synonyms for "said."

source

and so on. Look up any grammar rules for dialog and you'll find that you're simply being crazy. Talk to your English teacher and confirm for yourself what I've said if you like.

I hate to be "That Guy", but

But many newer writers overuse the first example and use it when it's not necessary.

seems unnecessarily redundant.

4269441
Just because you're part of the problem doesn't mean you're right.

Even if the readers don't count the number of times the author has used "said" in a page it still has an impact. Even if you personally think you don't notice certain things, they're "rules" for a reason. If you take the same piece of prose and write it "your way" and it is enjoyable, then get that exact same thing edited to be "better" the readers will enjoy it more. Even they don't understand why.

In the meantime, by all means keep your opinion. You're welcome to it. But I have to question why you feel the need to defend something that has plenty of evidence against it, in a setting (SFNW) that attempts to teach writers the right way, when the audience is clearly not lazy writers like yourself but those actually seeking to be better?

4268835 Thank you for the lesson! This can be a hard one to get right on a consistent basis.

4268835 Good lecture. I'm glad we're running over this possum again, because it's one of the most common problems I face as an editor.

[Edit: I'm a nitwit. Completely missed #4 on your list.]

An extrapolation on your point #4

The "tag" or it's replacement shouldn't be there just to identify who's speaking. That's the problem I see with authors, they think it's only there to identify who's speaking or how they're speaking it. Thinking like that leads to a world of trouble for authors. The purpose of dialogue isn't to get through it as fast as possible. If that's your goal, you're missing the point. Dialogue, like narration or action serves a purpose. The tags are not just some random crap you throw in because you have to. The tags or their replacements should be there to further the story, not just remain neutral obligations tagged on for understanding's sake.

What do I mean? Well . . . think about it this way. You could write a 1k word dialogue between say, three characters. If you go by the said tags, you're missing out on a LOT of characterization and story building potential. Rather than just using the tags/replacements to "get on with it," weave them into the fabric of the story itself. EVERY sentence in your story should have a purpose. I frankly can't stand tags/replacements that do nothing to enhance the story. There's no such thing as a neutral sentence. It either adds to the story, or detracts from it. There's no middle ground.

[Edit: Well . . . you mentioned these, but I guess it doesn't hurt to mention them again.]

The first is the one I use most often. In fact, I probably use it too much and have been working on cutting it out. However, used in moderation, it's a lovely tool for creating interesting dialogue that A Identifies the speaker and B enhances the story. It's simple: actions. Add actions rather than a said tag. Actions that show a character's personality or state of mind. Don't just add actions because you have to, that's just wasting your potential.

The second is to use thoughts. If you're writing your section from one character's perpsective (as you should), it's an easy and wonderful tool to spice up the dialogue, further your characterization, and identify the speaker all in one. BUT, only one character's thought per section as it's only one character's perspective per section. Don't let me catch any of you using more than one character's thought per section, I will haunt you forever. Muahahaha. Yeah, MAJOR pet peeve of mine.

The third is to use observations. Again it goes back to one character's perspective per section. If you're using this, then it's easy to add in observations from that character's perspective about another character that is speaking. This is a sneaky yet brilliant way to really add some depth into your story and make your characterization bloom into something amazing.

So, add it together and what do you get? Dialogue like this.

A scene from my story This Cruel and Random World (because I was too lazy to write a new one )

"Right." When she left, he snorted a laugh. A cold? Now that would be amusing. Idly, he wondered what pony colds were like. Definitely not as fun as draconequus colds, that was a given. At least he would not be changing color. Shrugging it off, he continued his song and dance all the way to the library.

He swung the door open, stepping inside. "Twilight! I'm here to learn!"

The only creature in the main room was a rather disgruntled Spike. Apparently, his dripping all over the floor was not appreciated. "Entropy! Why are you all wet?"

"Ah, my dear Spike." Entropy walked over, patting him with a muddy, soaked hoof. "I was out in the rain. That's what we call it when water falls from the sky."

The sarcasm was not well received. Spike gave him a dirty look, pushing the hoof off his head. "I know! I'm not stupid!"

Really, he's so dramatic. Discord shook himself off like a dog. Much to his displeasure, pony hair did not whisk water away like his draconequus coat did. He was still completely soaked. Spike was dripping water too now, looking practically murderous. The sight was beyond comedic, and he sniggered, "I do apologize, Spike. Seems I got a touch carried away."

The sound of rapid hoofbeats coming down the stairs announced Twilight's arrival. "Sorry I'm late, I oversle—" She stopped short upon seeing his dripping coat. "Entropy! What in Equestria were you doing?"

"Walking." And splashing, and dancing. But let's not quibble over the details. He gave a sheepish grin, "Sorry about the mess."

That's using your dialogue to its full potential. It's not segregated into its own "dialogue world," its woven into the fabric of the story itself. My dialogue is so intertwined with my stories that I really can't pick out "dialogue bits." They always run into my narration bits, and are hopelessly intertwined with them.

Dialogue is all about how you approach it. Said tags are reminiscent of a detached, "let's get this over with" approach. When you add in actions, thoughts, observations, a few blank dialogue lines, and well placed, advanced said tags, that's when it moves to the next level of awesome. My opinion of course. Feel free to chuck stuff at the crazy donkey.

[Edit: Super sorry I missed your point #4. You hit it spot on, I just glazed over it like a nitwit. Apparently I'm not all here tonight . . .]

4270170
All of what you just said is #4 on his list.

4270284 Oh, so it is. He, he. Missed that bit somehow. Now I feel dumb.

4268835 Gosh, I am so sorry about that comment. I completely missed your point #4. My urge to be useful had backfired. I wanted to make sure we the teachers covered all the bases, but you already did quite well. Geeze louize, I can't read tonight or something. Sooo sorry. I'll shut up now . . . Q_Q

4269071

A English Teacher or Professor would take off points for this. :-/

Teachers will often award or take off points for a student's use of adjectives. It's easier to grade a person on their grasp of creative writing that way, but in 'the real world', inserting an adjective wherever possible is bad writing. It's distracting.

Pro-tip to Creative Writers:

If you can avoid it, do not take collegial News Writing classes! I'm still trying to recover from the course having flipped my rules all wonky-wobbly. It is essentially anti-creative writing as far as I am concerned. One of the rules is you must used "said" and only "said" anytime you have a quote for attribution purposes under penalty of death. With how my professors drilled it into my head, I still feel required to put said after almost all of my sentences six years later.

On the plus side, it sure improves your eye for editing though when one name misspelling means you automatically fail your paper. It was the only points you could get a negative score in. If you spelled a name wrong 4 times, it was -100% on the paper, which meant you had to drop the class.

4270695
Pffft.

(Hehe, accidentally tried to post as EFNW. Whoopse)

You're talking about saidisms and some styles flourish with them but that's for authors who are true masters after they learned what not to do. Honestly unless it really ads something it's just extra wasted words that make the reader spend time reading some added flourish that rarely adds substance.

If you want to spice up your Dialogue you can add a single line of non-dialogue at the middle OR end of the paragraph (preferably the end). Just try not to add action to the middle of Dialogue too often especially when there is something at the beginning. Just break it up into more paragraphs.

4270348
Don't worry about it. ^.^

4270695
That's true. Good storytelling is more important than how often you use 'said'. You can look at it as taking the low-hanging fruit, if you like. It's much easier to teach someone about using 'said' than it is to teach them how to write strong, well-rounded characters. Also, in my defense, this was all in response to someone asking me for a list of words I use instead of 'said'. If somebody asked me about how to make a compelling plot, I could point them to a series of blog posts I've been doing about that.

4270660
Heh. And that's just the beginning. Did they get into word quotas? I've read that in some newspapers, they strictly ration word usage, so that you'll find yourself struggling not to use 'and'. And don't even get me started on commas. Newspapers always want to take them out whenever remotely possible (to save print space), but I love me some commas... probably too much. I'm sure excessive commas are my worst remaining grammatical vice. But, yeah... I would suffocate under the strict rules of newspaper writing.

4269441 you have a point, the only problem is 90% of bronies are sticklers. Have you ever watched "Bronies React"? They always spot the slightest appearance of the background characters. The people on this site are even more like this. Someone reviewed one of my stories and spotted double spaces, of all things. Double spaces. I can't do that. My point is, sometimes you have to please the nitpickers.

4268835 Thanks so much!! I'll try to keep some of this in mind.

4271847
Getting rid of double spaces is easy. You just do a Ctrl+F search, find " ", replace with " ".

In fact...
*does this to my own story*
Yep, caught and fixed one. ^.^

4272019
Glad I could help!

4272236 that's not exactly what I meant. This guy was enough of a nitpicker to see it. Not find it. Plus, I work on a kindle, which has no ctrl button...

4272798

I work on a kindle, which has no ctrl button...

And no proper keyboard either...
That's quite a handicap.

I really don't understand how some people can write on tablets or phones -- or even game consoles -- or even e-readers, apparently. Without a keyboard at hand, I'd resort to writing on paper.

Luckily for me, it's not as BS as a console keyboard. And it has a really good auto-correct that isn't annoying.

4355057
Actually, it was not. ^.^
It was in response to that quote at the beginning of the post.

4272807

or even game consoles

I used my PS3 for a while after I trampled my brother's computer in a drunk stupor. I was able to attach a keyboard to it, but the text-field will only write about 150 words at at time—without paragraphs.

4268835 Their called aileron rolls