Am I the only one who's suffering from post-Christmas blues? It's gonna be almost another whole year before that holiday comes back again, and it's the only time of year that I actually feel happier than I usually do. And I have a feeling that we'll see our society get a lot worse in the year 2023. How do I deal with this sadness?

7783598

You can't have post-Christmas blues if you never celebrate Christmas.

7783598

I'm sure you're not the only one. I'm not but then again I don't start feeling a bit down until January 1st....that is when the post holiday blues hit. Look at it this way though, spring is less than three months away now!

7783598
Yeah, it sucks. You spend most of a month on a high of goodwill, tv specials, etc., and once Christmas Day is over, it's all gone.

7783598
Think about the holidays to come, and maybe think about celebrating other ones besides. You don't need to throw a party for them.
Besides, you can always watch Christmas stuff ANYTIME. When I first watched the '98 Rudolph movie, it was in June of 2002

7783598

[...] It's gonna be almost another whole year before that holiday comes back again, and it's the only time of year that I actually feel happier than I usually do.

New Year's Eve is like, "Am I a joke to you ?"

And I have a feeling that we'll see our society get a lot worse in the year 2023.

... sometime in 2023 ... :

How do I deal with this sadness?

I suggest dark humor ... or a hobby ... or both! For example, this educational video made me smile AND learn something I'm sure I will find useful one day:

Every time I watch it, it always makes me laugh, too !

7783601

I don't know, man... for me, it's always like:

• If I celebrate Christmas => I get wasted => I get a hangover => I feel like crap
• If I don't celebrate Christmas => I get wasted => I get a hangover => I feel like crap

Darn post-Christmas blues get me down no matter what I do

7783604

In Poland, our 'white' Christmas looked like it was Autumn/Spring already ... then again, looking at pictures from the USA, maybe I shouldn't be complaining. Hope you're all OK over there

7783695

Now I wouldn't mind a Christmas that looks more like spring. Regarding how things are here, places like upstate New York and other areas in the east got hit by a rather nasty snowstorm. The place where I live, the most we got out of it was wind so all is well where I live....and yeah, I wouldn't complain if I were you. 50+ people died in the eastern part of the US from this storm.

7783598

In Sweden we celebrate Christmas until Saint Knut's Day on the 13:th of January. Many cultures celebrate Christmas until Epiphany on the 6:th of January. Children in Spain will get candy thrown at them on Epiphany, and wake up to gifts on the morning.

Feel free to keep up the spirit for a while longer! Perhaps read some nice Hearth's Warming stories here on Fimfiction? Watch some nice Christmas movie (there are plenty)? Maybe with some nice Christmas snacks? I understand where you're coming from though since it's probably my favorite time of year.

7783598 Unfortunately, I'm with you. It's that year when things are dark and cold which only makes depression worse.

7783598
First and foremost, it’s normal to feel a bit down after something you’ve been looking forward to—be it Christmas, your birthday, some sort of event, a new super special game or book coming out—is over. Not everyone is suffering from post-Christmas blues, but many definitely are (for example, I’m currently enjoying the most stressfree days in the last few months, and most people around me are weirded out by me not feeling blue), if that helps you find some solace.

However, this:

and it's the only time of year that I actually feel happier than I usually do

This is actually quite startling. The holiday season is special emotion-wise, though note that your happiness shouldn’t depend on it so much. Take this as another impulse to ruminate on what you may do to feel happier in life in general any time of the year. Knowing how to cheer yourself up and how to control your feelings better will allow you to eventually deal with such blues much better.

7783740

[...] This is actually quite startling. [...]

Is it? From what I've seen, this behavior of feeling happy only during certain holidays/times of year is becoming more common since COVID/the war started. Unfortunately, hope has been in short supply lately...

7783753
It’s been common even before that, though the fact that something is common doesn’t make it normal/right/healthy.

7783598
You dont. Welcome to life. It only gets worse.

7783757

Fair enough .

7783761

Jeez, man... MetaLord395 came here for some pep talk, and instead you're like, "Life's a bitch, and then you die"? That's cold! ... I like it

7783768 Life isn't a bitch. Life is a slave-master while you're its bitch. And then you die.

7783783
7783761

what fucking doomer wojack meme did you two walk out of, holy shit

7783707 Hey, it’s Jocke! Hi Jocke.

7783598 As bleak as things can be, there have been good, positive developments over the past year or so that can only be built upon in 2023. Novel treatments for HIV that have eliminated the virus in test patients, breakthroughs in nuclear fusion that could lead to new, clean energy sources, Snoop Dogg invented CoinStar for cheese…

People are still doing good for the world. I hope that comforts you a little.

7783865 Don't forget AI (like OpenAI ChatGTP for instance). The future really is approaching.

7783865
Life. And i haven't walked out of this meme yet, still kicking. Also stop giving him hope, give him to us. We will show him deh way.

7783783

Life isn't a bitch. Life is a slave-master while you're its bitch. And then you die.

Well, it's good to have something to look forward to

Don't forget AI (like OpenAI ChatGTP for instance). The future really is approaching.

For many people, there is a fear of the real possibility that AI gonna steal their job. That is not exactly a comforting thought...

7783865

what fucking doomer wojack meme did you two walk out of, holy shit

I assume you never watched BoJack Horseman or heard of 'Toxic Positivity' ?

Not everybody finds comfort in rainbows and sunshine. For some, it's the realization that the world is a fucked up place that keeps them sane and from offing themselves. Your mileage may vary...

7783923 >rainbows and sunshine

…

*looks at the site logo*

Wasn’t the point of Bojack that defeatist, nothing-ever-changes thinking is a self-reinforcing and fulfilling prophecy, and that growth and self-improvement come from committing to the process? Not letting yourself get mired in nihilism, accepting your mistakes, and finding joy and fulfillment elsewhere in life?

nah, that’s crazy talk. what am I saying. sunshine and rainbows bullshit. funni hoers go brrr.

7783923 There is absolutely no need to fear that AI will take people's job. One should only fear unknowns, not knowns. Once you know something for a fact, there is no need to fear it anymore.

In the worst-case scenario, you can sell your body to make a living. AI doesn't have a body to sell. And when AI also becomes a better bitch than you, there's still a dying part that AI can't do because it's immortal.

7783928

*looks at the site logo*

*literally talking to a guy who initially found this site and fandom searching for good suicide and gore stories*

Wasn’t the point of Bojack that defeatist, nothing-ever-changes thinking is a self-reinforcing and fulfilling prophecy, and that growth and self-improvement come from committing to the process? Not letting yourself get mired in nihilism, accepting your mistakes, and finding joy and fulfillment elsewhere in life?

It was. The thing is, just because someone says, 'life's a bitch' doesn't mean he is a defeatist with an 'I'm not gonna do jak shit because nothing matters !' mindset. The phenomenon of only one 'good' mindset is a recent craze. For thousands of years, there were always people like:

"Life's a bitch, and then you die... therefore, I'm just gonna lie in bed the whole day because what's the point ?"

And others like:

"Life's a bitch, and then you die... and that's OK! May as well try to enjoy it anyway ."

The second one is anything but defeatist/nihilistic/"put your bad name here." On the contrary, the realization that life is NOT rainbows and unicorns but a bitch that's gonna chew you up, and spit you was a source of tremendous strength to push through regardless of the circumstances. It's only recently that people began shitting on this mindset and trying to replace it with 'positivity.'

I don't know what's best for MetaLord395 - maybe he needs more positivity, maybe not... But I know from personal experience that for some people, hearing advice to focus on the positive and adapt the 'sunshine and unicorns' mindset when you see crap happening all around you can be just as damaging to the psyche as focusing on negative alone. That's why shrinks coined a phrase 'Toxic Positivity' lately.

Bottom line: People are different. Just because something works for you doesn't mean it will work for another and vice-versa. Laughing at something just because it's not your thing doesn't help anyone.

This group is ridiculous. Its called “anti-depression,” but all I ever see is bad advice, maladaptive coping mechanisms, and people competing to see who can cum the hardest to their own misery.

Bother this nonsense, I’m out.

7784052

who can cum the hardest

Did I win?

7783953

Bottom line: People are different. Just because something works for you doesn't mean it will work for another and vice-versa. Laughing at something just because it's not your thing doesn't help anyone.

Bottom line: Giving short, extremely simplified advice or statements (regardless of them being "Life's a bitch!" or "Hey bud, life's great, just smile a bit more!") never helped anyone.

You yourself even touched up on that in the paragraph preceding the one I quoted. Just like you, I don't know what's best for the OP, even though I've read multiple threads of his and attempted to chat him up on many occasions. Maybe the others are in closer contact with him and know better, or maybe they are just being themselves (and, thankfully, the OP, being around for quite a while, knows that some commenters here can be rather direct). The thing is, both approaches you mentioned--and everything inbetween these two extremes--are valid. However, they are valid only under specific circumstances, and can easily prove harmful outside these circumstances. And before you employ them, you should know the circumstances. That is, talk to the person and see where they are coming from. Identify what they need to hear now, and what should be better kept from them for the time being. Identify how you can get them to trust you and open up more. Only then you can choose an approach. Choosing an approach or defending it so fiercely without knowing the full scope of the situation is just like defending a particular chess strategy before you even took the chess pieces out of the box and chosen an opponent. There's a smidgen of merit in realising that there's more than one approach, but all in all, it mostly comes off as silly.

7784052

Nah. It's just people with different life experiences, backgrounds, and personalities sharing what worked/works for them - some adding their sense of humor to the mix - which may or may not work for everybody - but that's about it.

Heh... you're not gonna like it, but I'm gonna say it once again anyway... There is no one-size-fits-all approach to depression - everyone has their own way of dealing with it. Are some of the ways 'bad' or 'maladaptive'? Maybe... but so is the generic 'focus on the good!' and similar meaningless 'advice' one can read all around the net. Once you see the same advice a hundred times, you'll just roll your eyes... That's why letting people share their experiences and ideas here is important. Outside of extreme cases (like, someone advocating for self-harm or other dangerous behavior), what constitutes 'bad advice' is subjective.

Also, what people often seem to forget is that, just like every other thing in life, mental health is unequal. Not everyone can aim for 'the best' solution; some will have to aim for 'good enough' or even lower, because that's all they're capable of. That's why even if something is sub-optimal but still good enough to save someone from offing himself, that solution deserves to be put on the table, instead of screamed at.

7784103

I agree with most of what you said, but two points to notice:

1. The whole 'Life's a bitch[...]!' comment was initially meant as a joke AND aimed at a different user, not OP. We could argue whether it was appropriate, but a joke is all that it initially was . However...
2. Given the later explanation, I hope I was clear on what I meant by it and why IMHO realizing/embracing that 'life is hard' can be liberating and helpful when dealing with depression.

To be clear... I realize the statement can be harmful, and if MetaLord395 were a new user, I wouldn't put that joke here. But neither MetaLord395 nor I am exactly a newcomer. We both tried positive affirmation in the past, yet we both keep coming back here... Something is obviously not working. That's why I 'defended' (or rather, described) an alternative approach that helped some people I know - nothing more.

I guess the question should be... whether informing someone who has been on the forum for years that there may be an alternative approach to the problem is more harmful than withholding that information? I don't believe it is, but one could argue otherwise...

7784103 Here's the hard truth: There is no magical cure for post-Christmas blues. It's just something that everypony feels when something good ends.

We can virtue-signal and circlejerk all we want on this thread. We'll all end up feeling great about ourselves, but the OP will still be in the same position because prayers and best wishes never actually solved anything.

In such a situation, what you might consider good advice might actually be unhelpful or even harmful.

Sometimes, the best solution is to just embrace the suck. And that's what our comments reflected.

If you have an unsolvable problem, it will become 10 times bigger if you treat it as a trivial, easy-to-overcome problem.

The solution to hard life is hard skin, not skin moisturizer lotion.

7784123

1. The whole 'Life's a bitch[...]!' comment was initially meant as a joke AND aimed at a different user, not OP. We could argue whether it was appropriate, but a joke is all that it initially was . However...

And that’s where it should have ended. If Posh thought that it was unappropriate and you disagreed, then it would be fine to say that you reckon people here can take the joke and that some may benefit from this tough love approach. Going on a tirade about toxic positivity and whatever, and—if Posh didn’t back out—likely derailing the poor guy’s whole thread is uncalled for, even though you have good intentions. And again, you’re just wasting your time by defending (‘fiercely describing’) the approach even though the OP is not yet in the spot where the particular choice of approach is relevant.

7784130
Eh, yes? Not sure if you meant to reply to my comment, given your reply is unrelated to what I’m discussing with Huk.

7784052 7784123 7784130 7784275
Here to add my two drachmas.

I don't see the point of the group being the dispensal of nothing but good advice—impossible since we're not all trained therapists and/or wise men—and such. Or that there might be a bad joke or take. The biggest aid this group offers, as far as my opinion goes, is its existence and the camaraderie that we can see each other struggling and know we're not alone. That others struggle like we struggle, that others don't give up and we don't give up, that someone is in a deep pile of poo-feelings and needs a hand we might give to help, and we have someplace to whine, to ask for help, and know we will be listened to, even briefly.

Try your best, and if you can't then do so the next time.

7783598

How do I deal with this sadness?

Ultimately that is up to you. What IS it about christmas that makes you so happy? What CAN you do to recreate those conditions in the rest of your year? I'd advise concentrating on what is possible for you to do and not what you cannot do or what others don't do.

But going deeper on what is about Christmas that makes you so happy, beyond the superficial and finding out the deeper roots, is a good start.

7784275

Hmm... maybe you're right. In hindsight, re-reading my posts now, I find some of them unnecessary in the context of OP's question and/or too... passionate .

Stirring the pot wasn't my intention, so if I pissed anybody off, I apologize One of my new year's resolutions is to start acting my age and reduce whining here to a bare minimum, so hopefully, that won't happen again anytime soon .

Again, sorry for the ruckus.

7784462 To be perfectly honest, I sometimes forget to check the group in which the thread is posted and I just act as myself and speak my mind.