Luna wants to publish an advice column, but first she needs some problems to address. If anypony could provide me with questions for Luna to answer, she would be eternally grateful. Thank you!

2474494 what type o' questions

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"Dear Abby" type things, like social issues or love problems.

"Dear Princess Luna,

Why are you always in my dreams? Mother says you're waiting to eat my soul.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Subject"

"Dear Princess Luna,

I hurt my sister a while ago and It won't stop hurting. Do you know any remidies to help me, I don't think can talk to her about it.

Humbly,
A distressed mare."

2474494 Dear Princess Luna,

I have a message for you from the future. Do not play that CD that is enclosed with this message it is what it wants. In the name of all things decent don't play the disc.

-Scalor Barracuda Cyborg

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Dear Luna, the Galactic Empire has killed off half your citizens, and demands that you do the following.
1. Surrender all arms
1a. Surrender all soldiers
2. Give up the fight.
3. Turn your Self in.

Dear Princess Luna
My classmates annoy me. How do I deal with this?

Eh,
A sexy a mannequin.

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Dear Luna,

Ever read any of our fanfictions before? Specifically, the incest ones, where you have sex with Celestia.
Reactions?

Love,
Me.

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Thank you for your responses. Keep your eyes open for Princess Luna's column, which should be out in a few days.

Anyone else, feel free to keep giving questions.

Dear Princess Luna,

I'm right fond of my brother, and I don't mean in just a sisterly fashion. I think he might feel the same way, but I don't know what the rest of the family will think, or how my friends will react. What should I do?

Zap Anxious

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Dear Best Princess,

Last night's eclipse and meteor shower were amazing! How do you do that?

Your adoring subject,
Pipsqueak

~ ~ ~

Dear Princess Luna,

I keep trying to arrange the dusk and emergence of the stars, but some other Princess of the Night is getting in my way and doing things differently. Come on, Ursa Major is so last millenium. Who keeps that around?

Your Concerned Superior,
Princess Twilight Sparkle, B.P.
(Best Princess)

Dear Princess Luna,

Grrr hrargh garr crystals rarg. Grahh hurg slaves hrargh narr. Hrarar grau rrgh roff grahh?

Misunderstood in the Crystal Empire

Dear Luna
so I like this stallion, but he isn't a stallion he's... well... I can't say what he is. my friends don't like him very much and think that he is very mean and untrustworthy, but I think the exact opposite, should I ask if he likes me too?
please send a reply.. if you want too that is..
from: a lover in the dark.

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Ohh, ~I know who it is~ : D

Dear Princess Luna,

We have some friends who don't have their cutie marks yet. What would you say is the best way for us them to get cutie marks?

Concerned Mark-having Citizens

Dear Princess Luna,

Somepony in my household keeps using my toiletries. I wouldn't mind so much if they would ask, or have the common courtesy to replace them, but it's distressing to find deep blue hairs caught in one's toothbrush when you don't have that color in your own coat anywhere.

Especially given that a toothbrush shouldn't typically be in places that result in hairs being caught in it.

Please give me some advice; should I replace my toiletries without saying anything, speak to the ponies I believe are responsible, or take a flamethrower to the whole set and petition to have the suspected culprits sent back to the bucking moon?

Sincerely,
Sunny Skies

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oh you do? good! i hope we both think it's the same... or we may be totally off. which I would actually prefer the latter, more funny when we find out.

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Thanks for your questions! The princess thanks you for your time, and promises to consider them thoughtfully.

Keep 'em comin'!

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Hopefully :)

I really like this idea. I tried to do something like this with Twilight but eventually it just withered and died.
In any case, here's this:

Dearest Princess Luna,
Lately something has been plaguing me; for the life of me I can not get be rid of these feelings that have appeared within me. I do not know if you can aid me, as I do not believe you have ever been in such a position. I wonder if I should have even taken the initiative to contact you about this, there will be repercussions . However, I have already gained accesses to the study, and aqired a piece of parchment and quill pen. In the morning she will find my hooves sullied with ink and surely be furious. My intentions are not to irk her. But if things go well, perhaps I will be forgiven. Oh, how I am carrying on. You must understand, this is a rather embarrassing topic for me. Hopefully, you will not publicize this. Back to the point!
I see her every day. Every morning, I hear her hoof steps as she trots down the stairs and I am filled with a feeling akin to being submerged head to hoof in warm fluff. Now that I think of it, this is one of the few things I feel. The concept and word itself is new too me, I have no idea where it came from. Perhaps she brought it.
Every morning, she dances into the room, flawless. Her hair is perfectly styled, not a strand out of place. It bounces with every step. Her eyes catch the ascending sun, and sparkle more brightly than the most beautiful gemstone. Every day, she fusses over me, fitting me with exquisite attire. She smiles when she sees me, eyes aflame with her newest ideas, and I melt. Alas, her smile is not for me. When she smiles, she looks past me. When her eyes grace me, she sees not me but the masterpiece I am wearing.
I have no eyes but I see and all I see is her beauty. I have no mouth to whisper to her how she sends my heart aflutter. I have no heart, but it beats like a hummingbird's. All I have are these incompetent, fumbling hooves and years of watching her put thoughts on parchment. How can I possibly hope to capture her heart? How do I rid myself of these painful feelings? What do I do?

Eternally yours,
Mannequin # 2

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LOL

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Dear Princess Luna;

Your subjects seem to have come to love you a great deal; Could you describe your personality? Also, are you going on any trips, alone, anytime soon?

Sincerely,
Loveless in the Wastes.

Dear Princess Luna,

I can't make friends for some reason. I asked my sister and she said I was talking too loud and that other ponies typically don't like to have the sun blocked out when they're talking to somepony. But she sets stuff on fire and gets away with it! Why do they not adore my godlike voice and epic powers?

Sincerely,
Eternal Night

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Dear Princess Luna,

Whatever you do, don't start the war with Zebras. Also send Fluttershy to the moon. For the safety of all of Equestria.

Sincerely,

SrC

P.S when. Is Tia going to send me home?!

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Growf hur!
Translation: "Thank you!"

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Dear Princess Luna,

I know you've helped me out with my nightmares before, so I was hoping maybe you could help me out with this too. You see, the thing is, all my classmates who have wings can already fly, but I'm stuck with these tiny wings and can't do more then glide a little.

A few fillies at school were picking on me about it, but I think that's sorted out. Everypony tells me I'm awesome anyways, but I wanna be awesome and fly, you know? Is there anything you can do to help me?

-A pegasus pony who can't even fly

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Thanks much for the questions.

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Dearest Princess Luna,

Well, this is a mite complicated. You see, there was a girl named A I was crushing on, but A didn't want me, and I waited for so long that my feelings wore out, but I mistakenly assumed the feelings were wearing out because God was punishing me for my sloth. Another girl named E came along in my life, and I was beginning to feel for her, but I felt as if I was being tempted away from A, who was not in relationship with me and was not even remotely faithful to my memory. With that in mind, I don't know why I blamed myself for losing A because I hardly even had her to begin with! I realized how much better for me E was, but too late I realized it and now she's gone.

Now it seems as if the answer is "go get E, sweep her off her feet, and make her your companion", but you see, it's not that simple. E sometimes seemed as if she hid a part of her personality from me, so is she really worth it, that she hides a bit of herself? I know it's obvious I should never have even considered A, but is it too late to win the heart of E, and is it worth even trying to win E over, because there are bits of herself she won't reveal to me?

-Yours truly, the Doctor

(Vworp, Vworp, Vworp...)

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"Dear Princess Luna,

Just a question from your favorite extra-terrestrial Psycopath.

I watched you sleep for hours last night.
It was adorable, your hind leg does a little kick when you dream and I almost hugged you then and there.
I recorded it and uploaded it to the internet, I know you don't know what that is but lets just say you're famous in over five-thousand Galaxies.

My question for you is this:

How far will you go to get me to take the video off the air?

Sincerly yours,

Cheese4life.

PS. Your city's on fire."

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Trick question—Luna doesn't sleep at night.

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Not without help...

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Touche

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Dear Princess Luna,

What makes movies good to you?

Sincerely,

The Vashta.

P.S.: COUNT THE SHADOWS. ALWAYS. COUNT. THE. SHADOWS.

Dear Princess Luna

I am Nurgle lord of Decay, and I have a problem I love everything maternally and I whish to give everything gifts of disease and rot but when I do everything except my followers go bananas and start trying to heal those whom I have gifted. Why do you ponies refuse my gifts.

The Princess would like to thank everypony who contributed one or more questions to the first edition of her advice column, view-able right here. If other petitioners desire to have questions answered in a future edition, continue to post them here, or you can PM them to me.

Again, thank you all, and keep the questions coming!

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Sigh... you chaos gods and your silly ways...
I have taken note of your questions. The Princess shall address them in her next edition of the column. Thanks!

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Don't forget to tell her to count the shadows!

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Dear Luna
I look forward to turning in a 5 billion credit bounty on your head to Vader. I hope you get prepared to surrender, and don't send any of your weak so called "elite" soldiers, I killed a squad of them in 1 second. If you don't, well then plasma in your skull, I prefer my bounty to be alive you know, so don't run. Don't hide cause Boba is gonna capture you.

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Didn't you get eaten by a sarlacc or something? Regardless, the Princess will pen a response, likely brimming with sass, for you.

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I escaped. Look it up. Boba Fett does he escape sarlacc.

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Dear Princess Luna,

YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED, AS WILL YOUR ENTIRE INFERIOR RACE!

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Yours Truly,

The Supreme Dalek.

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The Daleks will get her first!

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holy shit it's sombra.

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Dear Princess Luna,

I want your advice on the ever increasing and major events that take place here in Ponyville. I mean it's almost like clock work that our town is either in danger of being destroyed or in some sort of trouble. I have been a resident here for all my life, and ever since that new princess/ librarian move here it has been a complete nightm.... err... pain.

I mean the tax and insurance rates have skyrocketed! I long to have the old days back when everyday was peaceful and only that young rainbow maned pagasus was causing trouble. Oh and don't let me forget that pink baker mare from Sugarcube Corner! Though I rather deal with their occasional small accidents than the list of ones that have plagued our quaint town since that lavender unicorn moved here some time ago.

Now I am sorry for the rant, and I know it's not my place to complain against those ponies who saved Equestria, but I would like to know if their is some way to reduce, do away with, or at least get help with the problems, like taxes, insurance, and destruction, of our small town. That and maybe what I could do to stop the pink baker mare from popping out of anything near me and scaring the horseshoes off me! Please I need your advice on these subjects.

Your subject and resident of Ponyville,

Mr. Waddle

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'Tis a fair question. Very well, Her Majesty shall consider it.

Dear Newspaper

We at the Cult of Chaos would like a formal apology from the publisher of this paper and Her Majesty Princess Luna for insulting our Grandfather Nurgle and Our Blood Father Khorne. If this reasonable request is not met then a strongly worded letter will be sent to Princess Celestia asking that this newspaper be shut down on the terms of religious prejudice.

from Dark Apostle of the Cult of Chaos Word Bearer

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A message for Luna. It is from The Supreme Dalek. Message follows:

"What time would be best for you?"

Sincerely,

The Messenger of the Supreme Dalek.