Due to me taking too long, and the joke now stale with actual good merch, I'm canceling this fic. Sorry if this disappoints anyone, but I will leave it up. Who knows.

Applejack, lacking her classic Stetson? Rainbow Dash's mane, way too long? THE Princess Celestia, pink? When anything and everything in the world is run by Hasbro, this effort, or lack thereof, just won't do.

Having had enough of their image being sullied by executives that just don't care, the Mane 6 go on strike. Through the eyes of Mr. Potato Head, head of Hasbro, this can only mean disaster. Through the eyes of Mr. Bowing, an employee at the bottom of the food chain, this could be the end of his career, and that's if he's lucky.

But through the eyes - the mismatched eyes - of the ever-optimistic Derpy Hooves, this is a golden opportunity. Tasked with recruiting and leading a new cast of main characters, Derpy sets out to accomplish what's been asked of her in ways only she can. And may Celestia help us all...

In an alternate reality, Discord found his love of chaos came in handy for babysitting young foals. For two thousand years, since he and the princess' were kids, he's babysat nearly everyone in Equestria. Now he's babysitting the cutie mark crusaders, and while he does he recounts with them his many babysitting jobs of your favorite characters as fillies, one by one.

Due to a typo on her permit to build a new barn, and the meddling of a recalcitrant bureaucrat, Applejack is stuck running a bar, at least until Mayor Mare gets back to town. So sit down and have a drink in Ponyville's least likely watering hole!