Friendship is Card Games: Tell Your Tale, Pt. 7 · 12:10pm Sep 18th, 2022
So. It turns out there are going to be seventy of these things. And an eight-episode series of full-length 3D episodes. When it rains G5 content, it pours. Time to stick my face back in the firehose.
We open on spring cleaning in the Brighthouse… which raises the question of just how long these mares have been living together. (By all indications, Hitch still has his own place.) Of course, that way lies madness, but I still have to wonder.
Darn it, now I want to see Argyle teaching Sunny to skate. Even with a busted wheel, I imagine Izzy could turn those into a lovely keepsake.
A box full of “noisy, glowy gems”… I’m not sure if magic can cause radiation sickness, but Hitch may want to be more careful regardless.
Ah, the impossibly densely packed closet. A classic. Also, that’s quite a few plushies of Zipp and Pipp.
Hmm. Some kind of blanket or tapestry depicting a familiar stallion surrounded by assorted wildlife. I’m sure it’s nothing.
And the one time a G5 pony can’t keep a grip on something with a single hoof, it’s a projector that turns on and runs normally when dropped. Very convenient.
On the other hand, a postmortem message from Argyle is pretty darn surprising.
Ah. It’s a blanket and a tapestry. And part of an artifact that stretches back ten generations, which is actually a very helpful touchstone for the intergenerational timeline. (Argyle’s wearing his Twilight necklace in the recording. They’re not allowed to ignore G4 in this one.) Being scattered among the three tribes… I have to wonder how many other such artifacts were divvied up. This, the Unity Crystals… Was this all negotiated, or was it more like a messy three-way divorce without a prenup?
Also, is this episode title meant to riff on The Da Vinci Code? Will Sunny have to unravel a conspiracy in the pony Vatican?
The “whole family” comment raises a number of questions. As does the recording in general. How many of these did Argyle leave once his Protagonist Progenitor Syndrome hit the terminal stage?
Adventure and mystery aren’t mutually exclusive genres. Although part of me wonders if the group has people to step in for them at work when adventure calls. Especially Hitch. Did he deputize the critters?
They literally ran the whole way to Zephyr Heights? Well, at least they’re out of breath. Still, Mike Nelson put it best.
Putting clues on how to reassemble the tapestry in the tapestry itself… Either this raises some very strange questions about the causality of divination, or Sunny’s just using what’s depicted there as inspiration.
Getting strong Pikmin vibes as everypony struggles to lift Haven’s throne. Also, a lock that only opens when the tribes’ magic combines makes sense… but it does make me wonder if it actually takes the phytomancy patch into account, or if it just expected the earth ponies to lift with their bodies.
Meanwhile, in the Bridlewood, someone installed a memory/rhythm minigame I’d expect out of the Mario & Luigi series.
It is lovely to see Sunny learn greater control over her alicorn abilities.
I do love how the members of each tribe are shown in the home of a different one, with Sunny uniting all of them in the center.
“It’s hooftag-vintage!”
I’m happy to say that I very rarely want to punch Pipp in the face. Sadly, this is one of those times.
So… is anypony going to wonder why they’re on a tapestry ten generations old? Because this raises all kinds of fascinating questions. Likewise why Argyle was recording this while Sunny was still a swaddled foal (and what the situation was with her mother.)
There’s a lot to take in with this one. I do hope they revisit it. Especially since they apparently still have plenty of opportunities to do so.
For whatever reason, these next two were posted out of order, with #26 coming out a week before #25. That or someone messed up the thumbnails. I’ll be looking at them in the indicated episode order and seeing what happens.
“Hoof take: Gorgeous.”
Seriously, stop just replacing monosyllabic H words with “hoof.” It doesn’t work.
Oh dear. Classic case of failure to coordinate. The good news is that between the skate ramps, the glitter cannon, and the dance floor, they might just summon the ghost of Cheese Sandwich.
(Also, disco apparently never died in Maretime Bay. We’ll clearly have to kill it.)
So… was Hitch planning on showing the others the dance routine he put together before the party started? Moreover, was Zipp planning on disassembling the skate park once it was finished?
(I’d question how “art party” led to a glitter cannon, but I’m used to Izzy’s school of logic. How couldn’t it lead to heavy art-illery?)
“We’ll all throw our own parties for Sunny.”
Because what could be better than making her choose which friend to favor? 
Never been a fan of plots that require flagrant group idiocy to work. I do not have any faith in these four realizing they should schedule said parties on different days before it’s too late.
“I do love a good crafternoon.”
Never mind. Sunny deserves this. 
I do like the contrast between Sunny and Izzy’s respective styles.
Credit where it’s due, everypony is finding a way to appeal to Sunny. The problem is the constant switching gears.
The background music is obnoxious, not going to lie.
On the other hand, seeing Hitch and Sunny do their friendship chant sincerely (and without her coercing him into letting her commit assorted felonies) is heartwarming.
Interesting to see that ponies still have the concept of angels. (We knew that in G4 through Angel Wings. She may have been a Make-a-Wish character, but that still counts.)
“Call me… Pony Hawk.”
… Yeah, that doesn’t work. Neither the emphasis nor the pun make any sense without knowledge of our world. (Or there’s a similarly named famous skateboarder in Equestria, but I’m not willing to give this pun that much credit.)
The abrupt musical shifts would be a lot more fun if the base material were tolerable.
I admit, I do like how nopony is entirely sure how the hairspray-to-halfpipe transition worked.
“I just beat your track time by 0.3 seconds, Sunny!”
Reminder that the Rainbow Dash is strong with Zipp.
Out of all the possible outcomes, I somehow didn’t see the “roller disco beauty glitter party” coming. I do like the separate singers coming together in a chorus—together in harmony, if you will—but the song itself is still dreck.
The seagulls continue dancing after the crab falls off the window ledge. Absolutely ruthless.
I’d complain about a grown mare being this upset… but come on, a lost dog can be heart-rending.
Ah yes. Pipp may be obnoxious at times, but she does have a large chunk of the total pony population at her beck and call.
“I heard he ran off with the raccoonicorns.”
Given Cloudpuff’s antics in the comics, I can believe it.
“Dewdrop any information to my FlyPad.”
See, this is how you work puns into the world. Also, pegasi have Apple products. You’d think that’d be the earth ponies.
It is nice to see the tribes come together to aid a single mare in need. Such is the power of puppies.
Huh. When did Zipp get the color-coordinated drone? I wonder if Izzy made that as well.
I have several questions about Izzy’s drool detector, and I’m not sure whether I actually want them answered.
The package is especially interesting. This isn’t just a case of addressing something by writing a rebus of the recipient’s name, like in “The Break Up Break Down.” Those faces were stamped on. That says volumes about how many packages the Zephyr Heights post office gets for the princesses.
… and Cloudpuff seems to have somehow ended up in said package. Without airholes. 
And amid the massive influx of ponies trying to be helpful, Zipp spots an actually useful clue.
Even Zipp’s magnifying glass is in her coat and mane colors. It seems she can’t help but coordinate her accessories. Between her mother and her sister, she may not have a choice in the matter.
Fifi is not the sharpest crayon in the box, it would seem.
“Neigh way.”
Aaaand we’re back to the clumsily executed puns. Sigh.
Ending on a fart joke. Well, when a dog’s eaten half a dozen bath bombs and a hoofprinting kit, that’s probably one of the better outcomes.
Not much to say about this one. Surprisingly lightweight for its length. And I suppose I can see how these two got swapped given how little impact either has on anything.
Pipp’s really getting the most out of that hooficure simulation mirror. I have to wonder how much practice it took to get the gesture controls down, especially given, you know, hooves.
I’m sorry, brushing on a complex design in a single go will always and has always bothered me, all the way back to third grade when I saw a can of rainbow paint on a classmate’s Lisa Frank folder and felt a profound sense of wrongness. Though I suppose magic might hypothetically play a role here.
Jazz’s admission makes me wonder who created that design library. It could be a collaborative effort; goodness knows the Internet excels at that kind of group artistic activity. This very site is a prime example of that sort of thing.
Every time they replay the song encouraging the listener to try something new, it get funnier. That’s not unlimited growth, mind you, but we’re still in the wonderfully ironic phase of repetition. Especially given that we’re focusing on a character who has no idea how to exercise her creativity.
Kudos to Rufus for demonstrating that any gender can appreciate a good hooficure. And the top hat and bunny pattern is charming. (Still, trimming his fetlocks first might have been a good idea.)
Oh no. Network difficulties. The bane of Internet-reliant workers everywhere.
“The designs. I think I’ve used them all up!”
Oh. Or the writer has no idea how this kind of thing works.
Ah. Reusing designs is an unthinkable faux pas, because goodness knows trends aren’t a thing that have ever existed.
Wait, her full name is “Jazz Hooves”? That’s honestly perfect for someone working at a karaoke parlor/beauty salon. Kudos there.
Huh. I feel like they stepped up the animation for that opening shot of the band. Also, nice to see the teahouse when unicorns aren’t near-terminally depressed.
Bringing a mare named Jazz to jazz night to ignite her creative spark… Yeah, I’d say “a date with destiny” is an apt description here.
We also have a name for the poet heard at the teahouse during the movie. Her fandom name had been “Gloomy Sonnet,” but officially, she’s Onyx. Which definitely works.
Definite sign of cutie mark glow as Jazz internalizes the new ideas. Very interesting.
“Guinea ponies” is a concerning phrase, and also has some geographical implications.
I feel like trying to give a raccoon a manicure is a bad idea for several reasons.
Rainbows on Zipp. Who’d have thought that would work so well?
>Lightning bolts
>“K’chow”
Please stop.
The phrase “hoof reveal video” makes me viscerally uncomfortable.
I’m always up for secondary characters getting the spotlight, and seeing Izzy not being obnoxious is always welcome. Honestly, this is some lovely stuff, even if the initial premise is a bit shaky. That said, if you’re going to try to make a song into a leitmotif, don’t give it lyrics.
On that note, let's see how I can compose this material in a different medium:
Glitter Cannoneer 2W
Creature — Unicorn Soldier
1W, T: Choose one —
• Put a +1/+1 counter on target attacking or blocking creature.
• Glitter Cannoneer deals 2 damage to target attacking or blocking creature.
Pony artillery doctrine hasn’t changed much since the Twilit Era.
2/2
Painted Angel 2WW
Creature — Angel
As Painted Angel enters the battlefield, choose a color.
Flying
Painted Angel has hexproof from the chosen color. (It can’t be the target of spells or abilities of that color your opponents control.)
3/3
Genius Hooficurist 3W
Creature — Pony Citizen
1W, T: You may put an Aura card from your hand or graveyard onto the battlefield attached to a creature you control.
Every design is as unique as the pony sporting it.
2/4
Muster the Pippsqueaks 4W
Instant
Kicker 1U (You may pay an additional 1U as you cast this spell.)
Create a 1/1 white Pony creature token for each artifact you control. If this spell was kicked, also create that many 1/1 white Pegasus creature tokens with flying.
One post unleashes a stampede of support.
Network Error 1U
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2.
Metalcraft — Counter that spell instead if you control three or more artifacts.
The greatest villain most ponies face isn’t some sinister alicorn or ravenous monster, but their Canternet service provider.
Glittering Gull 2U
Creature — Bird
Flying
When Glittering Gull dies, proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
Izzy’s target practice left both the beach and its denizens thoroughly bedazzled.
2/2
Abrupt Shift 4UU
Sorcery
Choose a phase that hasn’t happened yet this turn. Skip to that phase. (Exile all spells an abilities from the stack, including this card, then begin the chosen phase. The phases are beginning, precombat main, combat, postcombat main, and end.)
All-Points Bulletin B
Sorcery
Join forces — Starting with you, each player may pay any amount of mana. Each player searches their library for a card with mana value X or less, where X is the total amount of mana paid this way, reveals it, puts it into their hand, then shuffles.
Postmortem Missive 3B
Sorcery
Kicker 1G (You may pay an additional 1G as you cast this spell.)
Draw a card for each creature card in your graveyard. If this spell wasn’t kicked, you lose that much life.
Loved ones live on in memory and, in certain cases, 4K video.
Overwhelming Excess 3BB
Sorcery
Target player draws seven cards, then discards any number of cards. That player loses 2 life for each card in their hand.
For a brief, terrible moment, Sunny wished she were the town pariah again.
Bridlewood Freestylist 1R
Creature — Unicorn Bard
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, switch the power and toughness of each of any number of target creatures until end of turn.
It’s all about the notes she doesn’t play.
1/3
No Stone Unturned 2R
Sorcery
No Stone Unturned deals 3 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
Investigate. (Create a Clue token. It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
The investigative process is rarely clean or easy.
Terror of the Halfpipe 2R
Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Haste
Whenever Terror of the Halfpipe attacks, target creature defending player controls can’t block this turn.
She was flying long before magic’s return.
3/1
Thundering Hooficure 3R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
When Thundering Hooficure enters the battlefield, tap all creatures other than enchanted creature.
Enchanted creature gets +4/+4 and has haste.
An electrifying new look is sure to draw attention.
Test of Worth G
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If that creature has an Adventure, it gains hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.
Unicorns of old buried their piece of the tapestry, sealing it so only the deserving could reclaim it.
Wiggling Parcel 1G
Artifact — Clue
Whenever you sacrifice Wiggling Parcel or another artifact, create a 3/1 green Dog creature token with vigilance. This ability triggers only once each turn.
2, Sacrifice Wiggling Parcel: Draw a card.
“At least it’s not another bobcat.”
—Fifi, Zephyr Heights deliverymare
Hopeful Historian 3G
Creature — Pony Citizen
When Hopeful Historian enters the battlefield, return target historic permanent card from your graveyard to your hand. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
1G, Exile Hopeful Historian from your graveyard: Return target historic permanent card from your graveyard to your hand.
3/3
Detective’s Drone 3
Artifact Creature — Drone
Flying
When Detective’s Drone enters the battlefield, investigate.
Every case benefits from a look at the big picture.
1/1
Humming Crystal 3
Artifact
T: Add one mana of any color.
T: Each player mills two cards.
Hitch wasn’t sure what they were or how Izzy found them. All he knew was that anything that made him that uneasy was probably illegal.
Prophetic Tapestry 4
Artifact
T: Add two mana of any one color.
Converge — X, T: Scry Y, where Y is the number of colors of mana spent to activate this ability.
It reweaves itself with each shift in equinity’s fate.
Spontaneous Sculpture 5
Artifact Creature — Shapeshifter
Flash
As Spontaneous Sculpture enter the battlefield, choose another creature. Spontaneous Sculpture’s power becomes equal to that creature’s power and its toughness becomes equal to that creature’s toughness.
*/*
Creative Bankruptcy 1UB
Enchantment
Skip your draw step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of target opponent’s library. You may play that card for as long as it remains exile and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any type to cast that spell.
Singing Marsh
Land
Singing Marsh enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add B or G.
2BG, T, Sacrifice Singing Marsh: Draw a card.
There’s beauty to be found even in the dreariest parts of the Bridlewood.
I do wonder how this news escaped your notice for seven months. But yes, this does mean that, assuming the series never takes a Thursday off, it'll finish on July 13th 2023. Course, these 70 were just the initial order; given we know from Atomic Cartoons' pipeline that 4 specials and 23 (I think) episodes are on the dock, and only 2 specials and 8 episodes of that have been announced by Hasbro and dated, I'd bet more Tell Your Tale will be announced before this initial batch of 70 peters out.
With Starscout Code, I could just feel the flop sweat as the writers are growing increasingly frustrated with their inability to anything other than non-canon filler fluff pieces. Hence, a "you were always destined to be friends" spiel, recorded message from Argyle, the works. The execution still undermines it; narrative acknowledgment of pre-destiny rarely works and certainly doesn't here, much of the runtime is not-funny puzzles, and as we al know this'll have no impact on the main series at all, even the end result's a whole lot of nothing. I'd be surprised if it's even relevant to any future shorts, frankly. Oh, and the recording reuses the Baby Sunny model that has the rainbow mane (from Making a Foal of Me, because of course it does.
Pony Partay just feels like a repeat of Alicorn Issues. Still, it's not the most irritating case of coordination failure, and their individual appeals are good choices for Sunny. Mostly, I just remember it feeling like the script missed clarifying what the parties were for, like perhaps it being the anniversary of when Sunny brought them together or something. You'd think that'd be a no-brainer.
Other then making a butt monkey out of Hitch again, the most significant thing about Puphunt is the timing of it occurring so near in release to Issue #3 of the G5 comic where Cloudpuff always goes missing, airing just 36 days after it released. Dumber plotting here, but at least it's not dealing with breaking up a Discord hunt such that it feels even more like filler than a webseries that is filler by definition.
All That Jazz wasn't bad for this webseries by any stretch, once you shake out a couple of terrible Hitch lines and a few puns. It still feels like Jazz is a non-entity who came out of nowhere, much like the Mane Melody salon itself (a story about how it was set up and how Pipp found Jazz and hired her seems so obvious and desirable), but while this short is far from an ideal exploration of her, it's not nothing. And I did like Rufus' small role (he's easily one of the best townsponies, such that I'm a little disappointed he seems to be a TYT-exclusive character – at least, he hasn't been in the MYM special or any clips/trailers from the forthcoming episodes), even if it largely foregrounds that this one is just a reskin of One Trick Pony, where Izzy helped him get over a slump.
Anyway, you can also really tell how budget-strained this series is, with how much mileage they get from the Mane Melody song. Which, yeah, it is the webseries' main theme song, or the closest thing to one. I won't deny, it is still ironically funny for its repetition. That's not nothing!
She spoke in the Rufus short One Trick Pony seven weeks back, and was named in its credits. So, yeah, not news! But easy to miss. As the use of that name has mostly been for a handful of fanfic appearances and the odd piece of fanart, once the character has a more prominent appearance, I reckon Gloomy Sonnet will largely recede (it is a good name, mind). It certainly shouldn't be harder than when Minuette superseded Colgate, anyway. Me, I keep having to correct myself to write it Onyx as opposed to Onix.
Fun fact: in A New Generation, Onyx (simply named 'Beatnik Unicorn' in the credits) was voiced by the film's editor, Lisa Linder Silver. She also provided a startled yelp from the Maritime Bay tram driver, one Pippsqueak, a pegasus concert goer, and other additional voices. Most of the film's incidental roles were provided by film crew in Ireland, or producers/supervisors for Hasbro in Los Angeles - one co-producer, a former Disney Story Artist, voiced Toots, Thunder, Jasper (the unicorn who loses to Alphabittle onscreen) a pegasus guard (presumably the 'No you hang up…" one), and more; director Robert Cullen played Rob, some pony named Wings, and the pony modelling the device to watch for pegasi above that obstructs your vision. And his daughter voiced the unicorn kid! I like it when some Irish do even a little voice acting; despite the large amount of animation produced here now, it's all outsourced and international shows with American actors still. Cartoon Saloon's work excepted, of course.
Is it just me, or is it kinda...bad that the short, filler, most-likely-non-canon series has more episodes and arguably quality then the shonky 3d animated one?
Specifically prophecy, because that's as far as these explanations usually bother to go when actually given.
Also, y'know, the bastard bunny himself. One of the reasons he's so surly is that he's been replaced as "most likely to be literally Satan" by Cozy Glow.
Possible hint at who moved in with who?
Yeah, those paws are so sensitive that they don't even have to look at what they're doing.
Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well.
I once had an idea for an Admiral Biscuit-styled pony-on-Earth oneshot where a construction crew pranks the new guy by telling him to get polka-dot paint. So he stops by a semi-nearby pony store and picks up some magic polka-dot paint, to their shock. The liquid is polka-dotted no matter how much you stir it. Paint it on the wall, and it's perfectly polka-dotted no matter the movement of the brush. Start painting on a completely different section of wall, and the dots will still line up when the two patches meet. At the end, they're wondering if the store has rainbow paint.
Vivacious characters are always tricky to pull off, because there's a fine line between endearing and obnoxious. It takes talented writers to manage it, which is why its so rarely done well. The sad thing is I liked Izzy in the original special, but don't like her nearly as much in the Tell Your Tale shorts, because I feel that they're not getting that balance right. Ah well.
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"Confound these ponies, they drive me to drink"
"The joke is supposed to be that the poor newbie is about as likely to find... a unicorn..."
Is this the first time the Tell Your Tale shorts have used the "My Little Pony" tune as part of the soundtrack other than accompanying the title card? (Heard when the chest containing the final piece is revealed.)
If they hadn't discovered the piece of the tapestry in the lighthouse first, how would they have known where specifically to look for it? Sure, the lighthouse is depicted in the piece hidden in Bridlewood, but so are many other Maretime Bay buildings and the beach. I would have first searched the beach.
I'm going to assume that baby Sunny with the rainbow streak in her mane is simply an animation error.
I'm pretty sure that's another "hooftag," as the series briefly but aggressively tries to make that a thing.
This is Equestria. Lyrics and choreography do not always have to be learned beforehand.
I don't think you get to pass judgment on "crafternoon" after making that pun.
You can almost hear the session singers' disappointment at having to recite "so throw those hooves up, everypony."
"Sunny, your pores seem really tense."
If Pipp can see Sunny's pores through the hair on her face, then yeah, something is seriously wrong.
Okay, you can have pun permissions again. But I'm putting you on probation.
I hope those bath bombs were nontoxic, for Cloudpuff's sake. Add in the contents of the hoofprinting kit, and bad gas may be just the beginning of that dog's problems.
"Jazz Hooves, you've got a date with destiny."
At which point Jazz replied, "Who's Destiny?"
Particularly with stories that have titles ending in "code." (Just sayin'.)
Sorta seems to end the free will vs. predestination debate, doesn't it?
Unmentioned licensing agreement or intellectual property theft? You decide!
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It's not like the writers are lacking for excellent examples of the character type in literature. e.g., Shakespearian fools: Always seemingly clever and witty in an entertaining but shallow way, but always knowing more about what's going on than the main characters.
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Don't worry; they only use all-natural* ingredients!
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* Wolfsbane, belladonna, deadly nightshade, white mulberry, deathcap mushroom extract, and Abyssinian pink salt.
Did you know that if 1 in 30 packages you mail out contains a bobcat, you can still maintain a 97% positive feedback rating?
Nah, as a pet owner this makes sense.
Yeah, I remember when our cat went missing once... that wasn't a fun time.