Friendship is Card Games: Princess Celestia and the Summer of Royal Waves · 11:40am Jul 10th, 2022
With the Daring Do trilogy complete, this week begins my look at the “Princess Collection,” a tetralogy of all the alicorns but Flurry Heart, each paired with a season. We begin with Celestia; let’s see how G. M. Berrow treats the sun queen:
We open, appropriately enough, with the sunrise… though it seems it got started without Celestia. Sunlight’s already shining through the throne room’s stained glass even before “Celestia turned to the sun and focused her magic.” I suppose it could be a case of light peeking over the horizon before the sun itself, but it still feels off.
Nice use of the window commemorating Twilight’s ascension to introduce her and the rest of the Mane Six… though I’m not sure what role they’ll play in this story, if any.
Also, Spike is mentioned, but phrasing like “[Twilight’s] five best pony friends and dragon assistant” kind of stings.
“They now nobly sought to spread the true spirit of the Elements of Harmony and, in turn, the Magic of Friendship across [Equestria’s] lands.”
Hmm. The book came out April 7, 2015, just after “The Cutie Map,” though obviously planned in advance of it. I’m not sure if I would describe the girls as spreading the good word of Harmony quite yet. Season 4’s arc was them taking their first steps from students to teachers—excepting the times when the writers reset for the sake of a given episode’s plot, of course—but this feels like it’s jumping the gun.
“Celestia beamed with pride whenever the young heroes graced her thoughts or when their image in the window caught her attention.”
I’m not sure what’s funnier, the idea of Celestia forgetting about the windows in her own throne room when she’s not looking at them, or her needing to be reminded of the multi-time saviors of the world. Though she’s probably known quite a few of those over the years.
By the time Celestia’s done raising the sun, it “had reached the highest peak of it arc in the sky.”
… Ms. Berrow, that’s called high noon. Should I assume that Celestia’s been raising the sun all morning or what?
Okay, I do like Celestia thanking the sun, both for allowing her to guide it and for illuminating the world. The Latin is a nice touch; really gives a sense of centuries-old ritual.
Luna compliments Celestia on the performance, so I’m going to assume that it isn’t quite noon yet. She also holds back a yawn; I do like a more nocturnal Luna. Though in this case her fatigue stems from guarding Equestria from nighttime threats. Ones in the physical world, no less; you’d think that sort of thing is what the Royal Guard is for. Luna was able to reason with manticores on the east coast—nice tie-in with the Journal of the Two Sisters—but then the giant crab came out of nowhere.
Yes, there’s a giant crab in this story. The building-sized crustaceans apparently reside in Horseshoe Bay. No word on Rarity’s opinion of the Carcinus, nor the city of Baltimare’s.
Celestia wants to tend to the crab situation herself, but Luna reminds her that she needs keep a promise to one Duchess Diamond Waves, who needs help with her own school of magic in Monacolt. “It was a struggle for [Celestia] to relinquish responsibility by leaving the capital, but even more of a struggle to let down an old friend in her hour of need.” I suppose we need some reason why Sunbutt’s choosing to take a personal interest in this one, and an old friend we’ve never heard of certainly works. 
Ponies are just beginning to fill the streets of Canterlot. Again, it had better not be noon.
Interesting to see that the royal guard’s plumes are described as feathered rather than the wearer’s mane forced through the helmet. (Also that they’re not capitalized. A rare example of Berrow not treating something like a proper noun that the rest of us do.)
I do like Luna knowing Celestia’s tells. That slight off-kilter tilt of the older sister’s “neckplate jewelry” is a clear sign of her nerves. And “older sister” is very much the relevant descriptor; Celestia’s worried Luna can’t handle the throne while she’ll be away. Luna, thoroughly sick of this, says she’s been caught out and plans to turn into Nightmare Moon the moment Celestia’s out of Equestrian airspace. It’s the narration here that really gets me:
“After Luna had acted up and been banished to the moon, her sister was very touchy about the subject.”
Acted up. Acted up. I suppose that’s one way of describing an attempted coup.
Ah. Luna actually asked for help, calling in Twilight to help administrate both Canterlot and the School for Gifted Unicorns. I’m sure this doesn’t indicate any plans the sisters may have for her down the road.
(Also, little to no mention is made of ruling the rest of Equestria on a day-to-day basis. Celestia is treated mostly as a principal and a mayor, not a ruling monarch.)
“Twilight revealed a giant jalopy full of books.”
Wait, she drove a car into the throne room? (I assume it’s the throne room. We’re in a new chapter and I have no idea where the conversation is taking place.) And yes, “jalopy” was used to refer to the Apples’ wagon in “Pinkie Apple Pie,” but it’s still a bizarre term to encounter in an Equestrian context.
Celestia reminds Twilight to let the students have a little fun, especially since the school year’s almost over. Twilight doesn’t see how her lesson plan won’t be fun, because bookhorse.
“Celestia’s thoughts flashed to the mountain of letters about friendship from Twilight in that one closet of her bedroom quarters. ‘On second thought, only send me a letter if necessary.’”
… Huh. Wasn’t expecting merciless friendship lesson spam to be semi-canon. Not sure how I feel about that. Especially when Berrow literally calls it an “addiction.” For goodness sake, this is coming off the heels of Season 4, when they’d transitioned to the journal. Heck, it comes after the Applejack book, which acknowledged that they’d stopped using the journal.
“Celestia trotted off down the corridor to pack her saddlebags, reassuring herself with the fact that the kingdom would be just fine in her absence. She only looked back over her shoulder at Twilight and Luna twice to make sure that nothing had gone awry yet.”
I honestly quite like this. We’ve seen that Celestia can be as anxious as Twilight in the right circumstances, and leaving her domain in the hooves of her little sister and her pupil certainly qualify.
“A few hours and a thousand miles later”
Wow. Celestia can really book it. Well, the guards pulling the carriage certainly can, though the vehicle itself isn’t explicitly mentioned for half of the chapter. Celestia and the guards just confer on when to descend and how to land without making it clear whether or not they’re just flying in formation.
“Celestia dealt with threatening foes in addition to running her own magical academy.”
Really? I wonder what—
Oh. The story lists Discord, the changelings, and Sombra. We’re working with an interesting definition of “dealt with” here. Also, both schools of magic only have unicorns as students, and I’m just going to quietly stew for a moment.
The duchy of Monacolt is apparently one of the territories surrounding Prance, which bears out given our own geography. No indication they had to cross an ocean to get there, which raises some interesting questions of its own.
Celestia loves the sea and the beach, which does pan out with what we see during the sisters’ vacation. She has particularly fond memories of Unicorn Cove, a local inlet.
Oh, now Berrow’s capitalizing the Royal Guard. After not doing so on the previous page. Argh.
Buildings along the plaza are explicitly decorated with “oscillating blue and orange lightbulbs,” and I am once again confronted with the madness that is trying to determine just what has been invented in this world. That said, I do appreciate the aside of how escort duty during Celestia’s trips abroad is a coveted position among the Guard, especially for a destination like Monacolt.
Diamond Waves is apparently familiar enough with Celestia to call her “Celie.” It’s good to know Tia has some friends who can treat her like a pony. (Also, she can make her teeth grow into fangs with her magic in response to Diamond’s joking accusation of being a changeling. No word on whether her pupils turned into flames.)
It’s apparently been fourteen moons since the two last met. However long that is. And Diamond’s mane and cutie mark aren’t as glittery as Celestia remembers. Unclear if that’s a cosmetic issue or the same kind of emotion-sensitive magic that rendered a whole town monochromatic.
But we get to the heart of the matter: Diamond’s entire class has to attend summer school. In her words, “They had to be kept here because they didn’t pass their exams. It’s the first moon in Monacolt’s history that it has ever occurred.” And any hope I had of understanding how long a moon is get thrown out the window. If you mean years, just say years.
After a scream, the two charge through the gates of the Monacolt Magic Academy. “Celestia braced herself for attack, mustering her remaining strength from the day’s journey to defend this land from mortal peril,” which might be inspiring if she hadn’t been riding in a carriage the whole time. Still, points for presentation; she announces herself in such a commanding tone that she mentally compares it to Nightmare Moon.
We also get an aside about the time Discord coated himself in invisible paint and acted as Celestia’s echo for a week for the lulz.
However, while the scream is from a terrified student, the source of that terror is Diamond Waves herself. A student who was too hungry to focus tried to leave class without a hall pass to get a snack and was “attacked with a fake spider spell.” He finished his assigned reading? Then he can start the next lesson.
Yeah. Pretty clear what the issue is here.
Celestia takes a moment to bow to banners decorated with the cutie marks of Monacolt royalty (well, nobility; presumably they were also dukes and duchesses) through the ages, remembering the ponies who had them. Again, lovely moment.
One interrupted by Diamond Waves, who anxiously points out the Time Glass, an immense magical hourglass. According to prophecy, once its sand runs out, “it is said that the ponies of Monacolt will have to protect the borders from a great invasion of beasts.” Celestia has never heard of any such prophecy, but Diamond’s convinced, and with perilously little time left, she’s trying to cram as much monster lore and combat magic into her current batch of students as quickly as possible. (The question, of course, is why she can’t rely on past alumni.) Still, Celestia agrees to help.
She’s faced with a class utterly beaten into submission; silent, staring statues rattling off answers like automata. A little positive reinforcement has them revealing “top secret academy business,” like Diamond Waves’s obsession with Muybridge, a soldier famous for a long bygone military victory in Monacolt. Also her driving her students to the point of exhaustion, but that’s not exactly a secret.
(Side note: There are apparently a wide variety of “love fires” that can be used to thwart windigoes and tame other monsters. Interesting detail.)
Celestia decides to shift the topic to fun, “[using] her magic to do away with everything that looked serious or boring.” If only Discord could see her now. The students’ concept of fun is stunted in a way that would be hilarious if it weren’t so sad. They’re to terrified of getting trouble for not completing their assignments that anything not directly related to that work is too terrifying to contemplate.
“I want you two to tear up each other’s work.”
Oh my God, Celestia just went full Dead Poets Society. O princess, my princess! And it even serves a purpose by igniting fires of friendship, which “can only come from the bravery of two ponies offering friendship to each other despite a personal sacrifice.”
The next lesson involves Celestia leading her students—and it may well be that the Academy only has this one class—out onto the beach. And from there, their assignment is to “have fun in the sun.”
Unfortunately, the foals either misinterpret this or just can’t believe it, because they’d rather ask Celestia about raising the sun and whether she can make them alicorns. Also how her mane and tail wave in that unfelt breeze. (Interestingly, Diamond’s mane used to do that.) Sadly, she doesn’t answer any of these questions, just insisting that they go play.
An old couple looks on approvingly. On a concerning note, they note that the waves of the ocean have stopped. But before anypony can dig into that Diamond Waves returns from her trip to the sage of northern Prance, who apparently exists. Diamond is utterly shocked to see Celestia outright commanding her students to, in her eyes, waste their time as doom approaches, and canters off to the school to make a new plan.
Naturally, the moment after she does so, one of the students traps another in a bubble of ocean water, an advanced defensive spell. (Don’t worry, he can breathe in there.)
Some time later, Celestia happily heads to Diamond to report excellent progress… and also how the Time Glass may have sand falling from top to bottom, but the amount in the top isn’t actually diminishing.
(Interesting side note: Luna’s been raising the sun this whole time. That’s one way to avoid any issues with time zones, assuming this world is round.)
Diamond can’t believe that her students actually made progress while goofing around. Literally; she stammers one denial after another as her eyes “flashed something dark.” Celestia notices it, offering to talk it out during a walk along the beach. Mentioning the missing waves makes Diamond shift about, which just raises further concerns.
At Unicorn Cove, Celestia demonstrates her methods by getting Diamond to unwind. And by doing so, we get something that I’m not sure how to feel about: “Your ability to create waves on the shores of Monacolt has returned.”
Yes, it seems every ruler of a pony nation has some degree of control over the natural world. Or at least that’s how it works in the Duchy of Monacolt. Don’t ask me how. Celestia explains that Diamond lost her magic because of the sheer amount of pressure she was putting on herself and others… which actually makes some sense. Consider Twilight during her entrance exam.
But, despite the direct demonstration that having fun is the key to overcoming her magical block, Diamond refuses to believe it can be that simple. I’d call this a bit of plot-expediting idiocy, but it may be a case of not wanting to admit one’s mistakes given the sheer scale of them. If Diamond admits she had the wrong idea all this time, then that means she was leading the future of her nation into ruin when they needed. She can’t bear to do so, and even as the waves die back down with her renewed severity, she dismisses Celestia and gallops off to reestablish discipline in her students.
And before Celestia can pursue her, her escort—who, weirdly, she calls her “kinsponies”—deliver a report from Luna and Twilight. The Carcinus has attacked Canterlot. Never mind the miles of terrain it’d have to cover to go from the east coast to the middle of the continent.
(See, now this, this I can call a contrivance.)
Ah. But in true Berrow fashion, this thrilling twist is dismissed on the very next page, as Twilight reassures Celstia (and us) that it was just a case of some Canterlotters having an understandably panicked reaction to a twenty-foot-tall crab (which would still have a heck of a climb in order to even get to Canterlot, but I digress.) Luna is escorting it back home, where it had been spurned by ponies it had tried to befriend… who had also panicked.
Twilight signing the letter as “(Still) Your Faithful Student” is sweet.
Celestia reflects on Luna’s talents for communicating with animals established in the Journal… which, concerningly, includes her convincing the griffons to not declare war on Equestria. Those are sapient people, Tia. I mean, the manticore and Carcinus appear to be as well, but the griffons have an entire nation… kind of. Still, nice bit about Luna’s dreamwalking helping her see things from an unusual angle. I honestly really like the characterization of the diarchs in this story.
In any case, Celestia decides to stay in Monacolt, especially after one of her students replicates the apple-conjuring spell she used when he got in trouble for daring to put his stomach before his studies.
“[Diamond Waves] hated to lose, to be proven wrong.”
As I thought. Celestia does seem to attract that sort of personality, doesn’t she?
That night, Luna comes to visit Celestia in her dreams, which Celestia apparently hates. Makes sense, honestly. I can see wanting to have some degree of privacy from the sibling you have to spend all your time with. I love my sister, but we always needed ou own space and time.
Ah. Luna is better versed in the Time Glass. It was crafted by King Grover to flow forever, a symbol of how disaster could strike at any moment, and thus to keep the griffon army in a state of constant preparedness. Of course, as Celestia notes, the hard part will be convincing Diamond that that’s the case. Her plan is to… fake an attack. 
Her logic is it will let Diamond can see her students are able to defend themselves with her own eyes. And, conveniently enough, Luna brought the giant crab with her during the dreamwalk.
Celestia breaks up an unproductive session of Diamond trying to force her students into performing the water bubble, sending the foals to set up a beach party and telling Diamond that the Time Glass’s sands have nearly run out. “It is time to meet your destiny. Hurry up, it’s waiting.”
In other circumstances, hearing that from Celestia would be legitimately chilling.
Diamond explicitly calls Celestia “a thousand moons old,” and I want to strangle someone. Hilariously, she also realizes that maybe the millennium-old alicorn knows what she’s talking about when it comes to magic, and that relaxing a bit might actually be the right move.
Then the Carcinus attacks.
Thankfully, the plan goes off with negative hitches. Not only do the students harmlessly entrap the giant crab, Diamond slows it down first by summoning waves. Also thankfully, Celestia explained the ruse to Diamond after the fact, who didn’t mind at all now that she can look back and see her own folly. Also, her mane is doing the “eternal, ethereal flow” thing again.
The story closes with the two of them agreeing to make the “attack” a part of the academy’s final exam every year, and Celestia flies into the sunset in a lovely bit of bookending.
In all, this was actually pretty darn good. It would’ve made a good basis for an episode. Goodness knows we could’ve used more focused on the diarchs. And I do have to appreciate a moral slipped in for any parents reading the story to their kids. It is interesting to see it implied that Celestia failed to teach some very important lessons to Twilight regarding academic moderation… but it was that same obsessive drive that got her to track down the prophecy of Nightmare Moon. In any case, it does foreshadow the early growing pains of the School of Friendship. Nothing teaches you quite like teaching.
Now, let’s see what I can do with this course:
Apostle of Harmony 1W
Creature — Pony Cleric
Lifelink
Whenever Apostle of Harmony deals combat damage to a player, put a lifelink counter on up to one target creature without lifelink.
The Bearers weren’t trying to inspire worship. The Tree didn’t want any. Yet the apostles spread the gospel regardless.
2/2
Hourglass of the Watch 1WW
Artifact
As long as Hourglass of the Watch is untapped, creatures you control get +1/+1.
1W, T: Untap all creatures you control.
Every griffin garrison is run as though a hostile army will arrive in the next ten minutes.
Splendor of Monacolt 2W
Sorcery
Choose one or more —
• You and target opponent each create two Food tokens.
• You and target opponent each create two Treasure tokens.
• You and target opponent each create two 1/1 blue Unicorn creature tokens.
Royal Escort 3WW
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying, vigilance
Whenever Royal Escort deals combat damage to a player, you may put a card with alicorn from your hand or graveyard onto the battlefield.
“Announcing her Royal Highness…”
3/3
Cowed Pupil 1U
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Cowed Pupil can’t attack unless you’ve cast a noncreature spell this turn.
Pressure makes diamonds. It also crushes spirits.
3/3
Isolation Bubble 1UU
Enchantment
When Isolation Bubble enters the battlefield, tap target creature, then phase it out until Isolation Bubble leaves the battlefield. (Auras and Equipment phase out with it. While permanents are phased out, they’re treated as though they don’t exist.)
You can’t hurt what you can’t touch.
Alternate Approach 2UU
Instant
Counter target spell.
Learn. (You may put a Lesson card you own from outside the game into your hand or discard a card to draw a card.)
“If the same teaching methods keep failing, the problem isn’t with the student.”
—Princess Celestia
Twilight, the Studious 2UU
Creature — Wizard Noble
Alicorn (This card is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying
Whenever Twilight deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, exile a card from your hand face down. You may look at that card.
When Twilight leaves the battlefield, you may reveal a card exiled with it and cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then return the cards exiled with it not cast this way to their owner's hand.
3/3
Indignant Carcinus 3U
Creature — Crab
Indignant Carcinus can’t attack unless it’s monstrous.
1UU: Monstrosity 3. This ability costs 1 more to activate for each card in the hand of the opponent with the most cards in hand. (If this creature isn’t monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
3/4
Blind to the Truth 2B
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals their hand, then discards a card with the greatest mana value among those cards. That player mills X cards, where X is that mana value.
Even when confronted with hard proof, Diamond Waves refused to admit her mistakes.
Psychotic Break 3B
Sorcery
Target player discards two cards, then loses life equal to the number of different mana values among cards in their graveyard.
“Such fragile souls. It’s like dealing with a room full of Twilights.”
—Princess Celestia
Luna, Steward of the Sun 3BB
Legendary Creature — Noble
Alicorn
Flying, menace
If an opponent would gain life, you gain that much life instead.
1W: Target creature gains lifelink until end of turn.
4/3
Echoing Mockery R
Sorcery
Goad target creature and all other creatures with the same name as that creature. (Until your next turn, those creatures attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)
A single insult unleashes a stampede of indignation.
Applied Frivolity 2R
Sorcery — Lesson
Exile the top two cards of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play those cards.
“One of the most difficult things to learn is recognizing when you need to stop studying for a while.”
—Princess Celestia
Crescent-Sting Manticore 2RR
Creature — Manticore
First strike, reach
2B: Crescent-Sting Manticore gains wither until end of turn. (It deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Luna has always had a strong rapport with the beasts of the Everfree.
3/3
Celestia’s Tutelage 3R
Sorcery
Demonstrate (When you cast this spell, you may copy it. If you do, choose an opponent to also copy it.)
Discard any number of cards, then draw that many cards plus one.
“I think we all need a moment to decompress.”
Lovefire 3R
Sorcery
Choose one —
• Lovefire deals 4 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
• Untap target creature or planeswalker. Gain control of it until end of turn. It gains haste until end of turn.
Urban Incursion 3G
Instant
You may put a creature card with mana value X or less from your hand onto the battlefield, where X is the number of nonbasic lands your opponents control.
Cycling 1G (1G, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
“It snuck up on you? How? It’s a giant crab!”
Webhatch Trap 3GG
Instant — Trap
If a creature with flying an opponent controls is attacking, you may pay 1G rather than pay this spell’s mana cost.
Create three 1/2 green Spider creature tokens with reach.
Hall passes are serious business in the Monacolt Magic Academy.
Harmonious Hydra XG
Creature — Hydra
Converge — Harmonious Hydra enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each color of mana spent to cast it.
WUBRG: Put five +1/+1 counters on Harmonious Hydra. It gains hexproof, indestructible, vigilance, and trample until end of turn.
0/0
Flawed Prophecy UB
Enchantment
Whenever an opponent scries, that player loses X life, where X is the number of cards looked at while scrying this way.
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player may scry 1.
Diamond Waves’s obsession with the future left her struggling in the present.
Burden of Duty 1(wu)
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities.
“A few missing swells is no concern when my entire duchy hangs in the balance.”
—Duchess Diamond Waves
Duchess Diamond Waves RWU
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Noble
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, create a 0/X blue Wall creature token with defender, where X is that spell’s mana value.
2R, Sacrifice a Wall: Diamond deals damage to any target equal to that Wall’s toughness.
No one has ever tried to invade Monacolt by sea.
3/3
Sunfang Sovereign 3WB
Creature — Vampire Noble
Alicorn
Flying, menace, lifelink
At the beginning of your end step, you may pay WB. If you do or if your life total is greater than your starting life total, create a 2/2 white and black Pony Vampire creature token with lifelink.
3/4
Sunrise 2(wb)//Sunset 4WB
Sorcery//Instant
Sunrise: Return target creature card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Sunset: Destroy target creature. Create two 1/1 white Human creature tokens.
Canterlot Campus
Land
Canterlot Campus enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G or W.
4, T: Scry 1.
Mage-students who wish to harness their power for the greater good flock to Celestia’s personal school.
Monacolt Inlet
Land
Monacolt Inlet enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add U.
1WWU, T, Sacrifice Monacolt Inlet: Exile up to two target creatures you control, then return them to the battlefield under their owners’ control.
One of the weaker chapter books IMHO. The Luna book is 👌, and you've already gotten the Daring Do books which are excellent.
I'm looking forward to you getting to the Ponyville Mysteries cycle—they're the best in the book sub-franchise.
That little kerfuffle way back when.
…The remaining Friendship Is Card Games blogs on chapter books are just gonna be me expressing irritation at the inability in finding free readable versions of any of these past the initial Mane 6 volumes, aren't they?
Anyway, with this one, I skipped straight to the summary, but off yours and SockPuppet's differing takes, it's intriguing. I've found that nearly all canon material attempts to do something featuring Celestia have been, at best, middling efforts, and usually worse than that. Luna, in contrast, has turned out quite a bit of strong material over the years, so it's clear the writers of her, no matter the medium, can find something to do with her. For that reason, I suspect I'll agree with Sock in preferring her book. But that's just a theory, to remaining in suspended animation until free readable copies of these books show up.
My question is: if the amount of sand in the glass never changes, how has Diamond Waves never noticed that in all the years she's been in charge? Other than that, I agree that it sounds like this could easily be an episode of the show.
(I should have waited first before posting, there are other gems.^^)
"Luna gets Twilight to help in Canterlot to convince Celestia to take an effing vacation for once in her life" is a fanon plot hook I never tire of seeing. Lovely showcase of Celestia's work ethic, Luna's sisterly love, and Twilight actually getting trained for her future role, all rolled into one.
Funny coincidence, in my ancient WWII fic (which is a little embarrassing to say out loud) there is a 'love fire' spell that Rarity uses to heat a frostbitten AJ, noting tenderly that 'it takes two to cast.'
Insert modern political analogy here.
This is another piece of my own headcanon. Luna can effectively spy on ponies' thoughts without their consent. It makes sense to me that they'd have a sort of détente where she's not allowed to do it to Celestia, who values what little privacy she has.
If only. Topping even "earth ponies have magic, too" on my G4 wishlist is "A Good Celestia Episode." At least we have Fimfic and other stories...
This, this right here. This is a perfect showcase of Celestia - willing to gently, but firmly correct with accurate statements and implications rather than direct insult.
I think you accidentally included some of a different card's text here.
I'm writing a story of the beginnings of diplomacy between Equestria and Zebrabwe. A zebra scientist grills Luna about moving the moon, then has a realization:
...And, although it never gets discussed, I imagine that there are powerful beings on the parts of the globe that Celestia and Luna can't see who move the celestial bodies when they're out of the Sisters' reach (some of them are Chineighse dragons). To get back to this book, I imagine one of the other sun-movers got annoyed with Celestia being tardy and pushed the sun a little further westward than they usually do in an attempt to get sunlight in her eye.
Right through the stained-glass windows, Duchesses of Hayzzard-style. Don't worry, her Princess Shenanigans Fund will pay for it.
I mean, the sonic rainboom is faster than Mach 1, or ~760 mph. Even if Rainbow's the only one who can do the rainboom, I'd imagine other pegasi can be mind-bogglingly fast compared to real-world animals. (Incidentally, I kind of wish more authors abused how alarmingly fast the rainboom is; I want a pegasus who gets a plasma sword so she can joust fighter jets.)
Discord being Discord, only the paint was invisible; it didn't make anything else invisible and he didn't need it to make himself invisible. He just followed Celestia around, repeating everything she said. (Why couldn't we have seen something like that rather than "A Matter of Principals"?)
So Celestia just picked up the hourglass and flipped it over. "You know that's what you do with hourglasses, right?"
Why did my mind immediately go to "Want You Gone"?
I actually saw a documentary on NFTs that stated that this was the reason NFT bros so aggressively hype them. They want someone else to buy overpriced ape jpgs off them, hopefully at a much higher price than they paid for them in the first place... because if no one does, they're out so much money. So rather than admit their mistakes, they go full sunk-cost and double down.
...So how does that work in relation to the real world? Did it just give Celestia an idea or did she wake up with a huge crustacean attempting to crawl out her ear?
derpicdn.net/img/2021/10/20/2728400/full.png
This character is obscure enough that probably nobody will have a problem with me slapping wings on and calling her a princess. If any complaints do come in, I'll point them to the parts of this book that cause her to make more sense as an alicorn. (My existing preference for anycreature she can call an "old friend" with a straight face being immortal by necessity isn't even one of them).
I quite liked this one, as a kickoff to the Princess series of chapter books.
I want to strangle everyone who uses the time unit "moon" to mean anything other than one lunar cycle, roughly approximating a calendar month. Maybe it's because the writers live in LA where it's almost impossible to notice the moon unless there's a blackout?
This one sounds much better than average. I haven't read it, but maybe I should.
Why not? The map is already sending them out as friendship missionaries at this point, so they're definitely spreading the word. In fact, they were probably spreading the word more effectively at this point than any other, since they were still actually going out into the world instead of being tied down in Ponyville with a school to run.