Dealing with suicides is never easy. · 6:00am May 8th, 2022
It really isn't.
In case people were wondering why my lack of stories and site interaction for the past few months has been almost nonexistent, it's thanks to 2 suicide related deaths that took a huge toll on my life. Not even sure how to describe my physical state for the long period of mental darkness I was experiencing, but it's left me a confused wreck and pushed me into not wanting to really interact with anyone, other than close family.
Thankfully I'm starting to come into terms with the situation, thanks to a bit of counseling and encouragement from my husband and close friends. Most days are nice and some days that mental darkness slowly creeps up on me, but for the most part, I'm moving back into my regular lively habits. Not sure when I'll be mentally able to write stories, but taking things one step at a time is helping me get to that point again.
Aye...It doesn't get easier...no matter how much we want it to go away. However eventually, after a long time, you'll find the pain lessens more and more you continue about your life. That's not to say you get on with living in a careless aspect. You will ache for that person and question why they did what they did yet there will never be a full answer. The best we can do is eventually accept it for what it is and carry on. I often find myself thinking about how my friends and family would react if any of my
67 (forgot one back in February) attempts over the course of my almost 24.5 years, ever actually were successful. I'd suspect the same as I did when one of my best friends died by hanging in 2018. I was lost. Like I was in the middle of a lake and sinking fast with nothing to grasp onto for dear life. After a while the sinking feeling dissipates and you start to feel like you can swim to safety. Point is, I feel ya hun. It eventually gets okay-er.Sending hugs your way.
Man if you could have told us sooner I'm sure we would have given you a hug.
As you said, all you can do is take one step at a time. And, you go at your own pace. I’m sorry for your losses.
Sorry to hear about that. It sounds like you're recovering at least.
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Speaking as someone who found comfort in the thought of his own death as early as 10, suicide is like a whirlpool with you in the center of it, bringing everyone around you closer to join you as you sink deeper into the water. Those being pulled in can find a rock or a hanging tree branch to fight against the current and gain the strength to pull themselves out of the water, but it feels like you'll never completely dry yourself off from the soaking experience.
There isn't any comforting words I could give that'll make things easier, I can only express how our lives can change the flow to everyone around us. Hopefully, that will avoid another whirlpool to form, and help those that are caught in one to ride it out.
Condolences to you and yours.
Routine helps, but please check in with your support system. Be it friends, family, therapist, whoever.
Take care of yourself.
I feel ya, friend. I’m glad you’re doing better. This past year hasn’t been the kindest. Wish I had something better to say, but I’m in a similar situation. Not the same, but deaths have hit me hard as well. Haven’t been able to write since September.
As someone who found his father hanging from the rope, I sympathize. I know how much it can mess a person up
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One piece of advice I would give you is to not dwell on the reasons and not fall into the hellish loop called, 'What could I have done to prevent it? Why didn't I see the signs?!' It will kick your ass and hold you down, unable to function if you let it. Believe me, it's NOT worth it; it can be a start of a 'suicide contagion,' and it's probably the last thing the person committing suicide wanted.
On a positive note... feelings of dread, depression, and/or anger get easier and more bearable in time. I know it's cold comfort, but it is what it is...
Again, sorry for your loss
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I hope the counseling is helping and giving you strategies that work for you.
I just want you to know you're important and your happiness is important. Drive towards that, please.