Patreon Blog Takeover: Missions Implausible or: Six Mares, One Dragon, No Backup Plan (Kotatsu Neko) · 6:10pm Jun 30th, 2021
Three things before we start:
* Let's get this out of the way: should you, for reasons known only to yourself and your (lack of?) deity, want to choose a blog topic for me to write about, then sponsor me on Patreon at the $5-and-up level.
* I know a few people wanted to see my thoughts on Luca. All thoughts of posting that blog yesterday were obliterated by what happened last night. It'll have to come along later.
* And regarding last night... I realize I was really, really vague in that last blog. Kind of in a hurry...
So there may be a second blog. And if so, it will not be a light one.
But for now, we've got a question! What does Kotatsu want me to discuss today?
What exactly is the deal with Missions? Your Celestia strikes me as a moral creature (probably moreso than canon), and she recognizes that the Bearers are... less than wholly reliable. Yet Snowflake recounts nineteen missions over just two years or so? We don't know a lot about the Missions themselves (except the ones that end in hilarious disaster), but it's implied that they're dangerous more often than not. So basically, how does Celestia, who has the combined resources of an entire country, determine that the best solution for a given situation is to risk the lives of a team of six untrained, undisciplined random ponies and possible a small dragon? And with such frequency?
...
...really should have seen this one coming...
First, let's start with a definition. What is a mission?
In the broadest terms, a mission is any group Bearer activity/event initiated by the palace. In practice, this means Celestia: palace staff can recommend that she call one, but the staff cannot officially launch a mission by themselves -- now. (This happened. Once. {Johnny}Once.{/Dangerously}.) Luna has the authority to call missions on her own, but has yet to do so. However, she has consulted with Celestia before some of them begin.
((Before anyone asks: Cadance has no direct authority in this area. She isn't part of the line of succession -- or, legally, any part of Equestria's government at all. However, she can request Bearer dispatch through the sisters.)
In the time since the key Summer Sun Celebration -- as of Glimmer, a bit over three and a half years -- the number of official missions has gone into the low thirties.
However, this bears repeating: a mission is any group Bearer activity/event initiated by the palace. This means one of that number started with 'Here are your copies of the script,' followed by a costume fitting and, after it was over, multiple desperate desires to get something easier next time. Like, just by way of example, fighting monsters. Most monsters don't ask you to spend ninety-five minutes trying to remember your lines, not to mention where you should be standing at the moment you don't quite manage to project a key one towards the back row.
Other light categories of mission have included:
Diplomatic/Meet-And-Greet. You can count all of these on a typical pony's limbs and wind up with at least a leg left over. The palace actively tries to avoid this, because the sisters have spent enough time with the Bearers to recognize them as Diplomacy's Other Other Option. But there are times when visiting dignitaries insist that they have the chance to see the new generation of heroes (possibly to scout them in advance, because you never know), and... it hasn't gone well.
You don't ask Applejack what she thinks about the meeting, because she will very probably tell you. But at least AJ thought about the wording on why she hates it: Rainbow probably just blurted something out. Pinkie can be calm and polite, but she also wants to have at least one party game in the area for retreat, she'd prefer it to be something which the visitors are familiar with, and then she's going to modify it for pony participation and extra fun. Please have bandages on standby. Which may just draw Fluttershy out long enough to apply them, but after that? She'll be in the bathroom, thanks. Again. Do not stand between Fluttershy and the bathroom unless you want to be trampled. Twice. Oh, and is that the Official Greeting Wear in your country? Clearly the hoofprints can only be an improvement. And then there's Twilight. Yes, this is Twilight Sparkle. Yes, she has prepared for this meeting. Here is the checklist. These are the five things she wanted to say first. We know that because she just said all of them. At the same time.
...yes, her hoof does fit very nicely into her mouth. Thank you for noticing. By the way, as a species, do you have any particular phobias regarding dragonflame? Oh, you do? Too late.
The main difference between Luna and the Bearers is that when Luna brings the nation to the edge of an international incident, it was probably on purpose and she's planning to get something out of it by the end. The Bearers are a trotting diplomatic disaster. They're the meet-and-greet equivalent to the Special Guests you invite to a party when you don't want half the regular attendees to ever come back, and now you're thinking about that too. It doesn't work.
But hey, if there's an ambassador who's still stupid enough to ask, maybe the next one will work out.
Clean-Up Crew. 'The palace has just learned what the seven of you have been doing in Ponyville for the last ten hours. And, just as much, to Ponyville. We'll start with the pushbrooms.'
There's been... a few of these. Sure. Let's call it 'a few'. That almost makes it look as if they're not somehow doing this on purpose. Now please put the town back together. We'll give you slightly more than a minute.
We Need To Talk. The scrolls aren't always enough. This is a group debriefing, but it doesn't necessarily take place after a major event. Sometimes, the sisters just want to discuss whatever just happened directly. Emotional range is from We Secretly Wanted To Hear All The Details And Are Holding Back The Laughter Until You're Halfway To The Air Carriage to full breakdowns of tactics, solutions, potential disasters, and what almost went horribly wrong. If there's a summoning a few days after another mission and everypony needs to go explain themselves, it counts as a mission because the group had to leave town.
But then we get the other problems.
Monsters. Did you happen to notice a giant smog cloud recently?
Magic. If somepony can't figure out why this ancient effect is going wrong...
Mayhem. Break it up before somepony gets hurt. Before more ponies get hurt.
Mysteries. Before somepony dies.
And, as Discord once put it regarding himself, Me.
All pressed under the hooves of six mostly-untrained mares and, if the occasion calls for it, clutched in the handling claws of a minor.
Why?
Bearers are something of a limited resource. You start with six. And as soon as the number drops under that, it might as well be zero. Isn't it in the palace's best interests to keep them away from trouble, until something truly critical is at risk? Aren't there any other resources which the palace can draw upon?
Put bluntly: where the bloody buck are Equestria's equivalents to military, espionage, and special unit miniherds?
Why is nopony else doing anything?
They are.
Bearers are a limited resource: one which can only operate as long as they rely on something which, even on some of the best days, can feel surprisingly fragile.
You have to make sure they stay Bearers. Because it would be so easy to watch them turn back into six mares...
Just about every week sees the palace dispatch its own forces throughout the nation and, in an active moon, across the planet. There are trained magical research squads, spies whose mark talents aid in the work, and with the special miniherds, you may never know they were there until the Top Secret classification clears several centuries later. The planet has been in a tumultuous state since the Return: something which has not escaped the notice of the sisters. Both are fully aware that Luna coming back was a singular event, something which should not be setting off triggers on multiple continents -- and yet, events appear to be accelerating.
Celestia's seen things reach this kind of pitch a few times during the abeyance period: for activity level alone, it isn't unique. There's been dark cycles in deep years which found things become worse than this. But still... to have it happening now...
There's too much going on, and the palace dispatches its own forces accordingly. But those are acknowledged (if not always in public) as being palace forces. Both technically and legally, the Bearers don't count. The palace has the right to ask any Equestrian for aid: the closest equivalent is 'temporarily-attached civilians'. It allows orders to be issued without fully impressing them into the military/Guards (and the latter doesn't really happen) or bringing them onto the staff, while still creating an insulating layer between the Bearers, the rest of the bureaucracy, and a few accusations of 'But they were your miniherd!' from the mayor who thinks she just figured out what was really taking place under her snout.
The Bearers are not involved in well over 98% of what the government has going on at any given time, especially when you allow that number to include espionage. (It's anticipated that they would be slightly worse at that than they are at diplomacy). Even when it comes to what the palace is directly sending out, it still represents a small percentage.
So why send them out?
Because Rainbow and Applejack are fighting again.
Because Rarity and Twilight are having trouble dropping the issue.
Because Fluttershy would rather stay under the bed than risk Pinkie's next town party, and if a certain somepony keeps asking...
Because they are, at any given time, one very bad day away from becoming six mares.
Every Bearer has ways in which they reflect each of the others.
Each of them also has at least one instance in which they clash.
Look, magic's hard work, Ah get that, but y'need t' get your hooves dirty once in a while. An' you too, 'cause dreamin' is easy: Ah do it every night, no trouble. Now can Ah get you t' be a little more serious for a second, 'cause maybe nopony wants balloons at a wedding! An' what did y'think was gonna happen, havin' the back of the dress bein' carried by chipmunks! -- an' there goes Miss Prissy again. Not that anypony was really lookin', given what the ego over there was doin' right above the groom...
But why do I need to wind the press handle by mouth? I can alter the spell to sense resistance building up! -- eventually... oh, thank you: something to read on the magazine stand. Which is a magazine. About celebripony gossip -- look, I know you care about that, but I just don't see why anypony with sense would -- stop eating the apples! I'm supposed to be putting those in! And don't juggle them, either! -- how are you juggling... oh, Sun, they're shedding their feathers into the mix...
Pinkie's delayed childhood goes to war against Applejack having become an adult too early, and then Applejack's need for honesty starts to kick Rarity's near-instinct to add a little polish onto facts, Rarity can't get Rainbow to slow down long enough for a real talk or to accept responsibility for having just had that excuse launch from the bottom of the new crater, Rainbow doesn't understand why Fluttershy won't back her up in this and Fluttershy isn't talking to Twilight because she just heard that the Gifted School has animal experiments and exactly what did she do to that frog?
We could go on from there. For a very long time.
In Larry Niven's Known Space stories, the few humans who possess psychic abilities usually find them constrained by unbreakable limits: things imposed by their subconscious. Special agent Gil Hamilton has telekinesis, something which triggered when he lost an arm. But to his mind, it replaced the limb. His power has an invisible elbow and phantom wrist. It bends in the same ways, it will never reach any further than his real arm would, and maintains that limit even after a new biological limb was grafted to the shoulder.
But then we have Julie: another agent. She's a telepath: one of the most powerful known. Her range is global. She can find you just about anywhere, look through your eyes, get a briefing from your thoughts and send help.
As long as she cares about you.
As long as she loves you.
Because her psi only operates as long as she's in love with whoever she's using it on. It won't work on an enemy. Julie has to form strong relationships with every other agent, or she can't reach them. If there's a major fight between her and anyone she was supposed to contact, then maybe the contact doesn't work. Julie's ability to reach you directly depends on creating and maintaining an emotional harem. And if she doesn't love you any more...
The strength of the Bearers expresses itself as magic, and that strength is formed by the bonds between them.
There can be six. But if the bonds aren't there...
One.
Bad.
Day.
While several of the Bearers knew each other before the Summer Sun Celebration, with a few having strong relationships (and not necessarily positive ones), the group didn't come together until that night. It assembled in a hurry, and part of that is what Celestia sees as foxhole mentality. The fact that those experiencing great pressure, all equally at risk and trying to survive... they're going to bond in a hurry, because it's the only way to watch everyone's back. For those in the military: think back to boot camp. The sergeant yells at all of you and suddenly, none of the individual differences matter as long as you're united against him. A shared experience -- and, to some small degree, a shared trauma -- fused them together, just long enough for everything to work.
But when the pressure is off? That's when the differences truly begin to reassert themselves. Six very different mares see things from their own perspectives, try to get their own way, and all a little dragon can do is wring his claws and try to keep it from completely breaking down. The more peaceful things are, when the consequences are low or absent... the less need there is to compromise, try to see it from the other point of view, or even stop arguing.
They're friends. But they're very different ponies. They all like Twilight, but when we first meet them, in the words of a different admiral, they don't necessarily all like each other. And if the little arguments build up too much, when the fights start, if the clashes reach a critical level... then even with six mares still alive, Harmony can break.
It can be temporary.
It can also be very permanent.
And when you have a miniherd which united under foxhole mentality, and you're afraid they're coming apart...
...you put them back in the foxhole.
Not all of the missions are supposed to be dangerous (although there's been a few which went beyond what the palace ever expected). Some of them are just shared experiences: things to do together. Little problems to solve: wheat runs, with no chaff intended. But the truest ones add at least a little stress. It forces the group to work together and in doing so, reinforces the reasons why they care about each other. Having regular chances to unite within pressure is part of what's currently keeping Harmony alive.
The issue is that doing so semi-regularly risks the lives of six mares. And if you lose one...
The palace is, put mildly, unhappy about the situation. They'd rather not use the Bearers as much as they do. But they get all the scrolls. They know about the little clashes, and the ones which threaten to get a lot bigger. Harmony is fragile in multiple ways and in order to maintain Harmony, that fragility has to be risked again and again.
The only thing they're unhappier about is Spike, because at least the Bearers are (in theory) six adult mares who understand the risks. Spike is a minor. But he's also a great deal of what keeps them together. Twilight's sibling. Rainbow never had one and if she's gonna get a virtual equivalent, then what's cooler than a dragon? Rarity cares about him, Applejack respects his efforts, Fluttershy adores Spike, and Pinkie sees a younger friend to protect. Spike creates common ground, and having him along reinforces everything while simultaneously providing someone who can make peace -- if only because they all hate seeing him cry.
That's part of it. There's also been times when a moment of dragonflame has been the only thing preventing Harmony's death.
They need Spike.
But it means sending a child...
Foxhole mentality. It brought them together. It helps maintain the bonds. And perhaps, if they're together long enough, some of the clashes will fade. The differences will be fully accepted, and the fights might stop.
But that isn't today.
So they have to be sent back in. All of them.
How many times can they go into the foxhole before one doesn't come out?
Thank you. It's definitely not what I expected, and it's a bit more manipulative than I would have thought, but I can see the sense behind it. A good and satisfying answer.
There's a joke here, about there not being Discord in the foxholes, but that's just asking for him to pop out of the nearest one...
I have to echo Kotatsu. Not the expected rationale, nor the motives behind it. It really says something that this kind of grim necessity is needed to keep the colors of a rainbow together.
(Heck, I can’t help but think of Magic colors. They all have at least a little common ground... and at least a few issues with one another. Bringing together all five can unleash some of the most potent effects in the game, but you’ve got to get them together first. And depending on how you do it, that togetherness can be terribly easy to disrupt.)
Fascinating glimpse at one small part of what’s weighing down the crowns on the diarchs’ heavy-hanging heads. And I have to keep wondering just what and why Harmony is in this setting...
I'm imagining a guilty Celestia arranging a vacation under the guise of a Mission and a combination of paranoia, trouble magnetism, and shenanigans comedically ruining it.
But at least that tropical resort doesn't have to worry about ghosts or crab swarms anymore.
reminds me of this scene:
someday i am going to stop being surprised by how heavy and thought provoking of an answer we get every time someone asks estee a verse question.
IMO, sometimes they get sent because they have abilities and resources nobody else does
5545569
I expect that's where the five M's come in.
One day they'll find out The Palace effectively made Spike a child soldier. That day will NOT be a nice day.
The problem with sending them into foxholes is that they learn to work together under stress. So when they need to work together away from a mission, they’ll artificially induce the stress. Which is not particularly healthy.
Luna and the regular poker night are probably a far better team bonding session. Even if the palace is bleeding its coffers ever so slowly to Fluttershy.
5545427
Worth noting:
* There are times when the situation genuinely warrants calling in the Rainbow Nuke. Similarly, sometimes a given talent will be needed to solve a problem, and the Bearers are the resource: this is most likely with Twilight and Fluttershy.
* It's also about getting them to work together. They're getting better at this. Early results were not encouraging.
* Celestia's set of Bearers existed in a very high-stress environment. Perceptions may be slightly colored.
5545689
Actually, I don't expect it'll be a angry response.
Guilt, on the other talon... Twilight is absolutely going to realize her part in that, and she will not take it well. Hopefully Shining's around to help Spike talk her down and put it in perspective.
Celestia got the idea from Emery.
This ‘verse just gets deeper and deeper. A very satisfying answer.
I'm glad you've read some Gil "The Arm" Hamilton stories. There's one where he has to find something on the moon and he reaches his psychic "arm" through a live video feed of the moon's surface and is able to feel miles and miles of it, that image is still within reach of his "arm"!
Shame that Niven turned into a racist monster though (anti-immigration of all things).
Oh, very interesting; thanks!
I could also see regular backup. Even with ye olden tymes, dispatching some scouts to find the giant monster that needs rainbow lasered seems reasonable.
Admittedly, mostly because I want to see Estee describe the reactions to MREs.
oh, i just remembered the episode "the end in friend", where Rarity and Rainbow Dash had apparently ended their friendship, so Twilight put them into a fake mission where they had to work together!
Makes a lot of sense. Bonding through adversity. The more difficult the struggle the tighter the bond, especially if combat is involved. So I've heard.