Short Hand: After Equestria Girls 2 · 10:29pm May 2nd, 2021
Twilight: "Come on, come on! Hurry up!"
Shepherd: cooking up the bacon "Geez, be patient Twi! Come on!"
Twilight: "Sorry... It's just so amazing... I can smell it and the meat is so amazing...!"
Shepherd: "Here." He sets it on a plate in front of her
Twilight: "Thank you!" She bites down... Chews... Bites and eats some more... "Oh no...!"
Shepherd: "What? Is it not good?"
Twilight: "I... I Can't taste it! Oh no! Ponies don't have the right taste buds!"
Shepherd: "Oh God! I didn't even think about that!"
Twilight: groans "Nooooo!" sobs "I can never enjoy the wonderful taste of meat! Never again!"
Shepherd: "Calm down Twilight, calm down! All you have to do is turn yourself human, and you can enjoy meat!"
Twilight: "You're right... You're right!" She casts a spell, becomes human, and begins stuffing her face "Ohhhhh yessshhhhhhhh~! It's shooo goooood!"
Shepherd: "Easy, easy Twilight! You're overwhelming yourself!"
Twilight: "MEAT IS THE BESSSST! But I wonder... Would sex while eating meat be even better?!"
Shepherd: "Wait wha-"
Twilight: POUNCE
Shepherd: "WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENNNN?!"
Look, when you make as bold a statement as "It's better than sex," Twilight's going to want to test it.
...Well...food porn IS a thing...
See, now Twilight done messed up here. I mean, sex in the kitchen is fine and all (as long as you thoroughly sanitize after) but not while there are still surfaces (and greases!) hot from cooking. That's how you end up in the hospital, explaining to a doctor how a pan full of bacon grease got spilled across your groin.
He won't laugh to your face, but it'll be one of those stories that doctor's trade and laugh about when they're talking amongst themselves for years.
*Murphy pokes his head out from around the corner and laughs maniacally*
Would this really be a thing, though?
Given how they look, I have to wonder if hay burgers are on the savory side.
5512183
Most of taste is actually in the smell, not the taste buds, so I doubt it.
5512183
Worth mentioning that hamburgers don't have any ham in them; I don't think we've ever directly heard of "Hayburg" but it probably exists.